Disclaimer: Woo, I don't own One Piece. Duh. Would I be writing this if I owned it and could turn it into a manga or anime? ;

Author Notes: This is another drabble contest one. If you all are unlucky, I'll be posting all the drabbles I write for it. --

Who Knew Painting and Homicide Went Hand and Hand?

Their ship was a mess. Luffy and his crew stood disembarked on the wooden planks of the dock they had stopped at, staring at their precious ship. It looked horrible, paint chipping off everywhere, their sail hanging tattered and torn.

"I think we should probably do some repairs . . ." Luffy suggested, poking the side of his ship. "It looks a little run-down, don't cha think?"

Nami walked up to the ship, making a low 'hmm'ing noise and rubbing her hand along the side. "Yeah, I'd say you're right. Well, Luffy and Zoro, you guys stay here and re-paint this baby, the rest of you idiots will be coming with me to buy some more clothe."

"Wait wait wait wait!" Shouted Zoro, clawing frantically at the air in front of him, "you expect a swordsman and an idiot to re-paint this whole thing?"

Chuckling slightly at the death glare Luffy gave the green haired man, Nami sauntered up to Zoro. "Yeah, you have a problem with that? There's paint in the ship, and besides, I'm asking you to do all of it. Once the rest of us come back, we'll help you paint."

"I guess that'll work . . ." With a peppy 'good' Nami went back to the rest of the crew. Sanji looked at her suspiciously, waiting until they were out of earshot of the two painters before voicing his question.

"We aren't coming back, are we?"

"Heh heh, you got me. We'll come back, but probably tomorrow afternoon or evening. C'mon, you can't say that you don't need a break! I've got money; we can stay at the inn while those two get the ship painted."

Nodding, the cook looked back towards the ship before directing his gaze back to Nami. "Why did you leave them?"

"Oh, they just got on my nerves earlier, so I didn't see a reason to let them in on the good times."

Back at the Merry Go, Luffy and Zoro had found themselves quickly covered in paint. They hadn't been able to find any paintbrushes to go with the paint, so Luffy had suggested they use their clothes and suddenly he'd been covered in paint and thrown on one of the walls by a rather annoyed swordsman. That had been the start of the paint war.

Less than ΒΌ of the ship was painted, and they were all out of paint, most of it on each other. At the moment, they were standing on the deck, staring at the chipping paint that marked what all they needed to paint.

"Well, we can always go buy some more. . ." Luffy said tentatively, afraid of upsetting the pissy Zoro.

"No, lets just paint it with your blood."

"Hey, are you trying to start something?"

"Maybe I am!"

"BRING IT ON GREEN HAIR!"

"FINE BY ME RUBBER-SHIT!"

Thus, a climatic battle ensued, leaving the ship worse than it had been and throwing both combatants into a semi-coma like state. They awoke a few hours later, Zoro coming around sooner than Luffy. Staring up at the ship, he shook the rubber man until he could focus on the ship as well.

"Oh hell, Nami's gonna kill us when she gets back," Luffy groaned.

"If she gets back."

"What do you mean?" Luffy looked at Zoro curiously.

"I say we go out into town and kill her, along with the rest of the crew. Except for Sanji."

Nodding, Luffy agreed. "Yeah, we need a cook."

With that, the two tracked down the crew, killed everyone except Sanji, and lived happily ever after.