AN: The story will change slightly following this chapter, the POV's will narrow down and probably rotate between the Cohens + 1 (and Summer, she totally counts...) but I hope the readers will still follow it.

"…Eternal Life is now on my trail
Got my red glitter coffin, man, just need one last nail
While all these ugly gentlemen play out their foolish games
There's a flaming red horizon that screams our names
And as your fantasies are broken in two
Did you really think this bloody road would
Pave the way for you?
You better turn around
And blow your kiss hello to life eternal, angel…"

-Jeff Buckley

"…The arrangements…" Caleb was saying when Sandy refocused on the conversation at hand.

"What?" Kirsten's attention was captured, too.

They were still sitting in the floor of Ryan's temporary room with Seth's box. Caleb had only joined them a few minutes ago and was sitting on the edge of the bed.

"We need to start making the arrangements. For the wake and the service…I know it seems soon, but…"

"No…you're right." He turned to Kirsten who was nodding solemnly.

"I'll take care of anything that you want," Caleb offered immediately. "But…I think that it should be up to you," Caleb said softly.

"What needs to be done?" Kirsten murmured.

"Seth's body is at the mortician's…do you want to have visitation before the funeral or should we plan a separate day for viewing…and you'll have to pick out a casket or if you want to cremate…" Caleb started.

He couldn't hear this. He knew he had to but it was too much for him. He waved his hand and Caleb stopped. "Is there someone we should talk to?"

"The mortician's here now. He has a lot of pamphlets and things for you to look through…"

Sandy turned to Kirsten and she nodded, reaching out and taking his hand as they got to their feet. "Can we see him somewhere quiet?"

"How about the study down the hall? I'll have someone bring you both some coffee, okay? Go ahead and get settled and then I'll bring him down," Caleb said, he ushered them from the bedroom and down the hall to a large office. Sandy sat down on the couch with Kirsten.

"You sure you're ready for this?"

"Seth's gone. It's time we started dealing with it. Do you think Ryan should be here? To help with the decisions?"

Sandy shook his head. "I don't think he could handle it right now. What do you think?"

She nodded. "You're right. This is what we're here for. We can do this." She leaned her head against his shoulder and he put his arm around her.

Caleb walked in with the somber man in a suit who immediately offered his condolences and shook their hands, introducing himself as Mr. White.

Sandy was surprised at the man's strong handshake and kind eyes.

"I know this is going to be hard. No parent should have to bury their child. Anything that we can do to make this easier for you, please ask," Mr. White said.

"Thank you," Kirsten replied.

"What kind of arrangements do you think would be most suitable?" Mr. White asked.

Sandy accepted the pamphlet with the coffins and vaults pictured. He barely registered Kirsten's voice as she took over answering the man's questions. All he was aware of was Kirsten's hand clinging to his.

They were picking out the box that Seth would be buried in. The man was asking him about what clothes they wanted Seth to be buried in. Did they want an open casket at the funeral.

This was it.

"Sandy?" Kirsten called.

"I'm here."

"Seth hated wearing suits…even though he looked nice in them…maybe we should pick out a t-shirt or…"

"Everything was burned…all his things…"

"The poolhouse was untouched, Kiki. There might be some of his clothes there," Caleb offered.

"He hated suits…that's a good idea. He'd like to be buried…in something that was more his style," Sandy whispered.

"I'll take care of it. I'll get the kids to help," Caleb nodded.

"We'll have a viewing at the funeral home for everyone…and the funeral the next day at Mom's church…is that okay, Sandy? Do you think a Catholic service…"

"Maybe we should keep it non-denominational. A few words…some prayer…Seth's in heaven, I'm sure he's there with Jesus and Moses…" Sandy replied.

"Right. Can we do that?" Kirsten asked Mr. White.

"Of course. Mr. Nichol's has already spoken with your priest and Mrs. Cohen has spoken with your rabbi, they'll both be at the service," Mr. White explained.

Kirsten squeezed his hand. "We can do this," she whispered.

"We have to. What's our timeline?" Sandy asked Mr. White.

"We were thinking that we could have the visitation tomorrow night and the funeral the following day," Caleb said quietly.

"Okay."

"We've already prepared Seth's body. Once you decide on the clothes, we'll dress him and arrange for a family viewing so you can see him," Mr. White explained.

Sandy nodded.

"Sandy? Are you sure?" Kirsten asked, suddenly apprehensive.

"Yes. It's time."

Ryan kept his eyes glued to the floor as he followed Sandy and Kirsten into the church. Lindsay's hand was hot in his and he could hear Summer's soft breathing behind him.

They'd accepted condolences the night before with false smiled plastered on their faces as the people came through the line to say goodbye to Seth.

Ryan had turned his brain off but he couldn't seem to do that today. He hadn't been able to sleep after the previous night and he was more wired today than ever. He didn't know if he could do this.

Seth's casket loomed at the end of the aisle dressed in that cheesy t-shirt they'd found in the poolhouse. 'Have you hugged my t-shirt today?'

Ryan wanted to go home.

But his home was being buried today.

"Ryan? Come on," Lindsay whispered, urging him to walk.

Ryan measured his steps and sat down beside Kirsten on the front row, Sandy at the end. Kirsten patted his hand reassuringly but her eyes were already filled with tears.

"It'll be over soon," Lindsay whispered, squeezing his hand.

But it'd never be over. Not really. He had a void now, where Seth had been and it wasn't getting smaller, it seemed to be growing every day. Seth was his better half and without him, Ryan didn't know what was left.

The whispers were deafening as the church filled and the organ began to play.

"Couldn't find an organist to play Death Cab, I guess," Summer sniffled from behind them. Sandy smiled and even Kirsten giggled.

As the priest started to talk, Ryan's gaze landed on the casket.

He didn't hear Kirsten's hoarse sobs or Sandy's whispers of comfort. He didn't see Summer squeezing Marissa's hand so tight that it bruised.

Seth Cohen was dead.

His body was empty of blood and cold in that box in front of him.

But he didn't feel dead to Ryan. Ryan could still feel his presence.

"Breathe," Lindsay whispered in his ear.

He'd been holding his breath. He inhaled deeply.

Seth was being laid to rest.

Ryan had to go on alone now and hope that one day, he'd get to see him again.

He'd make Seth proud.

Kirsten sobbed into Sandy's chest and Ryan couldn't comfort her. Lindsay was crying softly but he couldn't comfort her either. Comfort was something he'd forgotten how to do.

The priest's words flowed over him until he closed his eyes, needing the darkness.

Peace. The one word filtered through.

Seth was at peace.

The music started to play again as Lindsay pulled him gently to stand up.

Now came the grave.

Nana didn't know how any of them were still standing, sleep had been a stranger to her son and his family. She'd found them individually and as a group sneaking cups of coffee.

She'd loved Seth but he'd been Sandy and Kirsten's world and without him, well, she was worried about how her son was going to make it.

But they were surviving. As much as she hated to admit it, Kirsten was a good woman and a good mother. Kirsten was keeping Sandy afloat. And Ryan, who seemed on the verge of shattering, was steady around them both. They were a team and supported each other. She couldn't say the same about her own family, her other two boys hadn't even bothered to show up to support Sandy. But Kirsten, Ryan and Sandy were focused on each other.

Nana watched Sandy and Kirsten step forward and place their flowers on the casket. They stepped back, controlled.

Ryan didn't move immediately. He was holding his flower and glanced at Sandy for an instant and waited for him to nod. He shuffled forward and placed a hand on the box, solemnly. He laid his flower between Kirsten and Sandy's and she thought she saw his lips move before he stepped back, but she could be sure. She wondered if the kid had ever been to a funeral before.

The priest and rabbi said their final words and the casket was lowered into the ground beside Kirsten's mother.

Kirsten was apparently cried out and stood stoically beside Sandy before turning and embracing Summer who was sobbing again.

Nana liked Summer. She had a spirit fit for someone like her Sethela. And it was clear that the girl had loved him.

Nana walked over and tapped Hailey as she passed. She had to take control and Hailey was just the one to help. Hailey had been like a willing employee, gladly accepting her instructions to protect Sandy and Kirsten from the greedy press and overwhelming Newpsies.

"Ryan, it's time to go," Lindsay was saying when she reached them.

"Can I stay a few minutes?" Ryan asked, staring at the grave. They all seemed startled and whether it was because he'd spoken or his question, it took them a few moments to process it.

"Why?" Kirsten asked.

"I…I need to see him through," Ryan replied.

Nana waved her hand in front of Ryan's face but he didn't blink. She took his wrists and shook him gently. "Ryan. Why don't you walk me to the car?"

"Nana. Okay," he said blankly, nodding and taking her elbow.

"That's a good boy…" she said.

"I'm not a puppy," Ryan muttered, smiling slightly as he seemed to snap out of his trance.

"No, you're not," she agreed. He was definitely not a puppy.

A chauffer opened the door to the limo and she stepped inside. He sat down beside her as Sandy and Kirsten got in.

"Oh, Ryan…" Kirsten embraced him impulsively.

Nana had been surprised at Kirsten's blatant affection for Ryan following Seth's death. She seemed terrified of losing sight of him or Sandy.

"I'm okay…don't cry…I'm okay," Ryan whispered until she finally released him.

Summer, Caleb and Marissa joined them while Lindsay and Hailey rode in the front.

"We're having lunch catered so you can all get changed and meet the family in the ballroom when you're ready," Caleb said.

"The ballroom?" Nana asked.

Sandy snickered.

"It has the best seating," Caleb replied, indignant. Only Caleb would have a ballroom.

"I don't want to go. I don't want to see anyone else," Ryan mumbled to Kirsten.

"Are you sure? You haven't eaten much besides coffee today, Ryan," Kirsten replied.

"I don't want to talk to anyone else," he replied, not meeting anyone's gaze.

"You've barely spoken all day, Chino," Summer whispered.

"He doesn't have to come down but he has to eat. Deal?" Sandy asked.

Ryan nodded and swallowed thickly, glancing at him gratefully. The Nana was still figuring out what kind of connection there was between Ryan and her son. It was strong and Ryan seemed willing to defer all his decisions to Sandy.

"I'm going to take Summer home, too," Marissa said.

"But I'll call Chino later," Summer added quickly.

Ryan smiled slightly and nodded.

Nana patted his leg gently and was reassured when he met her gaze. The kid would be okay.

"Where's Ryan?" Jimmy asked her.

"Hiding," Kirsten replied. "He's got a good idea. This is a little much for all of us."

The ballroom was filled with people. Newpsies and distant relatives and teachers and coworkers were clustered everywhere.

Sandy was talking with some people from the DA's office across the room and she was grateful for Jimmy's presence.

"How are you doing?" he asked.

"I'm…I'm really sad," she answered honestly. "But Sandy's here."

"It'll take time. Is there anything I can get you?"

"Cover for me," she said immediately. "I want to go check on Ryan."

"I can do that…" Jimmy started.

"No." It had to be her.

"Sure. I'll let Sandy know where you are," Jimmy nodded.

Kirsten hurried out of a side door and across the first floor to Ryan's room

She couldn't help herself. She was worried about him. She didn't know if it was transference and she was simply focusing all her maternal instincts on him. She didn't know. She didn't know if he'd always been so vulnerable under his hard exterior and she'd never noticed it because of Seth's distracting presence or if he was breaking down. All she knew is that she was worried about him.

She pushed open the door to his room.

He was lying on the bed dressed in torn jeans and sweatshirt but he was still shivering.

"Ryan?" she called, hurrying over to sit down beside him.

"Kirsten, hey…" he said, not sitting up.

She put her hand to his forehead and he wasn't warm, he seemed cold. "Why don't you get under the covers?"

"I can't sleep," he replied, sitting up now.

"Maybe you can't sleep because you're cold," she offered.

"Do you want me to come out?"

She brushed his shaggy hair out of his face and shook her head. His eyes were dark with exhaustion…and anguish.

"I want you to go take a hot shower and then put on some sweatpants and a t-shirt. I'll be here when you get out."

"To tuck me in?" he smirked.

"If it comes to that," she replied honestly. If she thought it'd make him sleep, she'd tuck him in. "I was thinking more along the lines of hot tea and dinner."

"I'll be all right. You should probably get back. The Nana made me eat already, before Lindsay left," Ryan admitted.

She hated the way he seemed to apologize for getting her attention. He seemed to be more comfortable in the background.

"Jimmy's covering for me. And you have to get some sleep."

"You aren't looking too rested either," Ryan replied.

There was a quiet knock at the door and Sandy stepped in. "I can't fly solo out there."

"Sorry," Kirsten apologized.

"What's going on in here?" Sandy asked.

"I'm trying to convince Ryan to get some sleep," Kirsten replied.

"Ah. It's definitely been a long day," Sandy said. "The guests are leaving now."

"Not because of me, I hope," she replied.

"Nana's ushering them out. She says we all look like zombies," Sandy replied, sitting down.

"Will you at least lie down?" she asked Ryan.

He conceded, lying down.

"I'll stay with him," Sandy said as she stood up.

"I'll bring tea for all of us. Decaf."

"Sounds good," Sandy nodded.

Julie pushed open the door to Ryan's room. Kirsten and Sandy were sitting on the edge of his bed, talking quietly.

"Is he sleeping?" she asked.

"Finally," Kirsten whispered.

"Then you should take advantage. He'll be fine," Julie said.

"Come on, Kirsten. Let's try to get some sleep," Sandy said.

Julie waited until they were in the hallway to flip off the light and close the door.

"Can I get you anything?" Julie offered when they hesitated in the hallway.

"No, thanks. We'll see you in the morning," Kirsten said, leading Sandy toward the stairs.

Julie watched them walk away. She tuned and continued on her way to Marissa's room.

She could see Kirsten and Sandy's strength returning. And Ryan, still unusually quiet, seemed to be more alert after the funeral.

She'd been proud of her daughter today. Marissa had been sober and controlled and had helped Summer and Ryan through the service.

She knocked softly on the door. There was no answer so she pushed it open.

Marissa was asleep, her arm across her face.

She was safe.

"What are you doing out here?" Marissa whispered.

"I'm sorry, should I…" Ryan started to get up.

"No, stay…" She sat down beside him on the grass behind the house.

"It's quiet out here. Like, but not in there. I can hear the waves," Ryan said.

"I couldn't sleep," she said. "Do you need anything?"

"I'm okay. I just needed to clear my head," Ryan said. He shivered.

"Can I sit with you?" she asked.

Ryan glanced at her. "Sure. That'd be nice."

"I'm going to go get a blanket, okay?"

Ryan nodded indifferently.

Marissa hurried inside and grabbed a blanket before returning to the backyard. She'd spent all day holding Summer up and now it seemed to be Ryan's turn. She draped the blanket around him and settled down beside him. He'd always taken care of her. She owed him.

"I am so sick of being waited on. I'm fine," Ryan sighed.

"So you usually sit alone in the dark?" Marissa asked.

He snorted. "Occasionally."

"Are you going to be okay?"

"I just need to shut my brain off for a while," he whispered. "I want a cigarette but the thought of smoke…"

Marissa studied him. "Are you asking me?"

"Am I asking you what?" Ryan replied.

She reached into the pocket of her sweatpants and pulled out the flask. She hadn't had a drink in two days and she'd been waiting for it.

Ryan laughed suddenly when he saw what she had. "Some things never change…"

"Hey," she said, unsure as to what he meant.

"Sorry." His gaze flickered toward the door. "Kirsten and Sandy would be upset."

"They'll never know," she replied.

He sighed. "It'll definitely shut my brain off. Thanks." He drained the flask in a few swallows and hissed. "Expensive."

"I'll get the rest. Maybe a sleeping pill?" she suggested.

Ryan shook his head. "No. The drink will be enough."

Marissa ignored the worry she felt as she hurried inside again. He'd asked her for it. It would help. It wouldn't hurt. She'd help him turn his brain off.

"We've got a little problem," Jimmy said, walking up to Hailey on the patio. He had a problem.

"What?"

"Come here," Jimmy said, leading her across the backyard to a small area where Ryan and Marissa were sleeping under a comforter, an empty bottle of vodka between them on the grass. His daughter had been staying with Julie for months now and he'd hoped that she'd stopped drinking. But here she was.

"Shit. Poor kid," Hailey sighed.

"I've never known Ryan to drink. Marissa's a different story," Jimmy admitted. Marissa had a problem.

"I don't think we should tell Kirsten or Sandy," Hailey said. "I'll get Marissa and you get Ryan. We'll put them to bed…"

"Jimmy? Hailey?" Sandy's voice startled them both.

"Sandy." Jimmy turned.

"What are they…oh." Sandy's face fell when he saw the liquor bottle.

"Sorry, Sandy. We just found them," Jimmy apologized. He hated that Marissa was the cause of this. Sandy had enough to deal with and this wasn't going to help.

"Not your fault," Sandy sighed. Jimmy couldn't read his friend's face. Sandy took charge, stepping forward and shaking the teenagers awake. "Good morning…"

"Oh no…" Marissa realized her situation first. "Sandy, it's my fault…"

"No, I couldn't sleep, I'm sorry, Sandy…" Ryan started.

"Both of you go inside and get cleaned up. Ryan, I'll talk to you as soon as you're done."

"Yes, sir," Ryan nodded, getting up.

"Wait a minute, Marissa," Jimmy called, following her to the door.

"Dad…"

"No. This is inexcusable." He lowered his voice and looked deeply into his daughter's eyes. "You are going to get some help."

"Dad, I don't…"

"Marissa. Think," he whispered. He wanted to shake her…but he'd never do that.

Her bottom lip started to quiver but she nodded. "Okay, Daddy."

"We'll talk about it after you have some coffee."

Marissa rushed inside. He was going to have to take a stand with her. She wasn't getting better here.

"I'm sorry, Sandy," Jimmy said, turning to face Sandy.

"It's not your fault, Jimmy. He's having a rough time. He's a big boy," Sandy sighed. "I have a favor to ask you guys, though."

"Anything, Sandy," Hailey nodded.

"Find us a place to live. Apartment, house, garage, whatever. I don't think we should stay here any longer than we have to," Sandy admitted.

"What are you looking for?" Jimmy asked.

"Two bedrooms, kitchen, two bathrooms preferably, any price is fine. Take Kirsten with you, it'll be a good distraction," Sandy said.

"What are you going to do?" Hailey asked.

"I have to tie up some loose ends with the insurance company and the fire department and I have to take Ryan to the doctor…"

"Because of this?" Jimmy asked.

"No, because of the smoke inhalation and so they can check his stitches," Sandy replied.

"We'll find you a place, Sandy," Jimmy promised.