Broken Puzzle

A Misaki x Hatoko Fanfiction by Munkii

This story is unrelated to my other fanfictions, namely "Conceptions of Love" and "Lost in Dreams". It contains Shoujo-Ai, love between two girls. Please do not read this if this is not your type of story. Angelic Layer and all respective characters are copyright CLAMP, Japan.

Chapter 3
Picture on the Puzzle

.o..o…O…o..o.

Misaki had been relatively out of it that morning. While things seemed to have been well the day before, Misaki just wasn't in the mood for anything now, and Shuuko had suggested she stay at home for a couple more hours while she went out with Yuuko to take care of some errands.

It was then that Misaki realized she wasn't feeling all to well. Her head was feeling very warm, not to mention she was a bit dizzy. Having no appetite, Misaki remained in bed, not wanting to move. Though, even being sick, Misaki was feeling especially lonely that morning. She didn't want to be all by herself at all. She wanted someone to tell her that it would be alright. She wanted a hug most of all.

Misaki sighed. No one was around, but perhaps it didn't matter. Hatoko was the only one that would run up and give her a hug whenever she was feeling less then normal. And, whenever she did, Misaki always felt a happy feeling inside telling her that someone truly cared about her. In the beginning Misaki and Hatoko had maintained a relationship with some distance, but the distance quickly closed. Misaki found that she enjoyed having Hatoko next to her. She found that Hatoko could place Misaki's feelings faster then anyone else. Whenever Misaki was missing, Hatoko was always running to find her.

"I do the same," Misaki whispered to herself. "I run after Hatoko-chan too." Misaki turned to look at an assortment of pictures on her nightstand. One was of Oujirou, and Misaki remembered the time Oujirou had taken her to the cliff along the seaside. It was nice of him, and Misaki had always been suspicious that Oujirou was beginning to like her in 'that way'. It wasn't a bad thing, but Misaki was still having a hard time accepting the idea of having Oujirou has an official boyfriend. In Misaki's mind he still had been spying out the competition that one time, but that wasn't why she couldn't bring herself to accept a relationship. It was something else, something that Misaki couldn't lay a finger on.

"I'm thinking better then I was just a day ago, and I'm sick!" Misaki thought out loud. She smiled at the irony of her situation, and for the first time in the past week, she found herself happy, even though she could still feel the loneliness inside of herself. She found that right now, she honestly wanted to get to the bottom of it, and she wanted to never worry about it again. It was nice, knowing that she had a bit of happiness within in her even when she knew she hadn't resolved her issues. Misaki gazed at the far wall for several moments, only to notice a small framed document. Curiosity got the best of her, and she slowly climbed out of bed to look at it.

"When love is deep, much can be accomplished. Suzuki Shinichi" Misaki read to herself. Misaki had heard of Suzuki before, but couldn't remember where she had heard it. For some reason music came to mind, but of course the source didn't matter much to her in her present state of mind. The words echoed in her conscious as she made her way to the bathroom to take a shower. She wanted to go about something that day, at least, even if all it was was taking a shower and clinging onto this sudden bit of joy.

"The only thing I've really accomplished is Angelic Layer." Misaki closed the bathroom door behind her. "Lots of people helped me, but to stay we share deep love…" She turned the water on and moved her towel next to the shower basin. "I'm not sure about deep love, though maybe it can be a deep love that I don't know about yet." Misaki could feel her chest tightening as she searched her feelings.

"Kotarou-chan liked me, but he was mostly at the side. Tamayo-chan too. Oujirou-san…" Misaki put her head down in concentration. "It was not a deep love, I accomplished a lot of things before I really got to know him." Misaki turned the knobs to change the water temperature to lukewarm, remembering she had a fever. She stepped into the shower.

"Hatoko-chan… Hatoko-chan…" Misaki's heart skipped a beat at the name. "Hatoko-chan was always there helping me, especially in the national tournament. She was always looking after me…" Tears mingled with the water on Misaki's face as he momentarily paused to ponder her friend. "Now that I think about it…"

Misaki searched her heart, only to find what she had expected. Hatoko loved her. Ever since that afternoon where Misaki had asked Hatoko to be her second, Hatoko had been especially attached to her. Without a doubt. Misaki sighed as feelings rushed into her mind.

"I've been so naïve and Hatoko-chan has been so patient…" Misaki began to feel a bit sad for Hatoko. All those things that the younger girl had said were making sense now. Hatoko was feeling empty because Misaki hadn't had the strength to realize what their relationship was really about. Misaki had been oblivious to Hatoko's feelings even when they were apparent on her face in the form of blushing - not just Hatoko's but even her own warm cheeks she had ignored. And Misaki was feeling the pit in her stomach simply because she didn't allow her real feelings through. She was unsure why her feelings were trapped away. Perhaps it was all the things she learned growing up about how a girl is supposed to marry a guy. Misaki sighed again as she stood under the faucet, various wonderful feelings surging through her that she hadn't felt very often before. Feelings that one normally doesn't feel until out of the blue someone runs up to you and hugs you. Someone who means very much to you. Someone who loves you dearly, even on simply a friendly level. Several minutes passed before Misaki noticed she had stopped rinsing soap off, and she began to rinse it off once again.

"I can't be angry at myself for being myself. But I do need to call Hatoko-chan. I need to call her right now." Misaki rushed through her shower. When she was mostly dry and half-clothed, she left the bathroom to find the phone, drops of water occasionally falling from her hair. Picking up the receiver, she dialed Hatoko's home number.

"Kobayashi residence," answered Kotarou. He sounded sleepy, and Misaki figured he had just gotten up for breakfast. He wasn't much of a morning person sometimes… lazy bum.

"Oh! Hi Kotarou-chan… Umm… Is Hatoko-chan there?" Misaki tried not to sound too excited or nervous, but she knew Kotarou would know anyways. Well, he would have known if he wasn't busy waking up.

"I'm sorry Suzuhara-san, Hatoko left with her mother to do some shopping. They left a note for me, and I'm not really sure when they will be back. Sounds like you're… excited about something." Kotarou replied. Misaki wasn't expecting Hatoko to be away from home, but she didn't let it get to her.

"Kind of excited I suppose… Anyways… Okay, umm… Tell Hatoko-chan I have something very important to tell her and that I'll call back later if she doesn't call me, okay?"

"Okay, later then." Misaki said goodbye and set the phone down, perhaps a little too hard even.

"Hmm… We're going back tomorrow… Maybe I will get something for Hatoko-chan!" Misaki decided out loud, just as her mother and Yuuko entered the room.

"Oh my, Misaki, are you feeling better?" Shuuko asked noticing her daughter with a smile on her face. Setting down her things on the counter, she went over to hug Misaki. "Still feel a bit warm…"

"I'm okay, Okaa-san. I just wanted to go look at some stores today, though I need to eat breakfast still." Misaki replied, smiling as she practically bounced over to the kitchen to look for something to eat.

"Are you looking for clothes? Or maybe Angelic Layer things, or maybe… a present?" Shuuko asked, curious now. Last time Misaki had been under the weather, and this wasn't that long ago, she didn't have any inclination at all to go out for what might be a few hours and shop. Yuuko smiled.

"She's a girl, alright." Yuuko whispered, dropping a manila folder on the counter stuffed with papers. She leaned down with her elbows on the surface and her face in her hands. "I remember the days when I was like that, they were good fun. I was always running about outside since we lived next to the water."

Misaki wasn't really paying attention to her mother and Yuuko's conversation, images of Hatoko and various warm fuzzy feelings were rushing through her like water just released from a dam that had been suddenly opened. She remembered her mother had asked her a question.

"Oh, sorry… A present…" Misaki said in a distracted voice as she started munching on a piece of fruit. There wasn't much food in the small house since it wasn't occupied on a regular basis. She was glad that they had stopped on the way down to purchase a bit of food. She turned to her mother and smiled.

"We have a couple hours, perhaps a trip to the mall would be okay. How does that sound, Misaki?" Shuuko asked, becoming more interested in her daughter's desire to go shopping.

"I would like that very much, Okaa-san." Misaki replied quickly.

.o..o…O…o..o.

Hatoko had come home with her mother, collapsing on her bed, wanting to hug Misaki tightly and never let her go. It was a simple desire, and while Hatoko was not confused about her love interests, her mind and her heart was tangled about her feelings to such a degree she didn't want to move or talk or think. She just wanted Misaki, but of course, Misaki was not around. She wouldn't be back until tomorrow afternoon. Hatoko sighed as she wrapped her arms around herself and rolled around to look up at the ceiling.

Even then, Hatoko wondered for perhaps the millionth time how Misaki might react to a confession. She wondered what Misaki might say if she just ran up to the older girl and hugged her, telling her that she was deeply in love with her and that she could have no one else for the rest of her life. Would Misaki even take her seriously at first? Hatoko was still young, and even though Misaki knew she was grown up for her age, would Misaki wonder if she was mature enough to be in love?

The now familiar tingle that pulsed through her as she remembered their last embrace could be felt once more, and Hatoko couldn't help but cry silently in her desperation. Several minutes passed, and soon Hatoko noticed that footsteps could be heard outside of her door, stopping just before a knock was heard.

"Hatoko-chan?" It was Tamayo, perhaps the least expected person. She had never knocked on her door before. Hatoko turned on her side to conceal her somewhat red and puffy eyes.

"Hi," Hatoko said simply, not feeling ready for a conversation, but not wanting to push Tamayo away, either. Misaki's friends were always welcome.

"Er, Hatoko-chan, Kotarou asked me to talk to you to make sure you were okay. He's worried about you, you know." Tamayo replied gently. "May I come in?"

"Okay," The door slid open and Tamayo slipped in, shutting it softly behind her. Tamayo made her way over to stand next to Hatoko's bed. The younger girl turned her face further into the covers so that Tamayo could clearly see both of her ears, but none of her tears.

"Kotarou… he has been worried about you, Hatoko-chan." Tamayo began, repeating herself as she did not know exactly where to start. "Is there something wrong that you would like to talk about? I know you would rather talk to Misakachi about these things, but she's out of town right now and Kotarou feels that a boy shouldn't be talking to about your 'girly' feelings or whatever..."

"It is something I cannot talk to Misaki about because it involves Misaki." Hatoko replied with a sniffle.

"What kind of something is it?" Tamayo asked softly, and Hatoko tensed. It was only after several moments of quiet that Hatoko answered.

"Love," Hatoko sniffled, "A lot of love."

Tamayo wasn't totally sure she was hearing Hatoko correctly, although she wasn't entirely sure she wanted to believe that a six year old would know about the love Tamayo was sure Hatoko meant. Tamayo wasn't ready to accept that Hatoko might be what most of the kids she knew made fun of. She began to feel uneasy as time passed and she could not find a reply, until as the silence was just becoming unbearable, she lowered her head.

"I'm sorry Hatoko-chan, perhaps I can't be of any help. I guess you cannot exactly say I'm keen to believe that someone of your age knows about love."

"What are you saying? I'm too young? I'm too young to achieve or know anything, just like the time everyone else said to me I couldn't succeed in Angelic Layer?" Hatoko retorted, incensed at Tamayo's remark, turning around and sitting up rigidly, tears shining on her cheeks in the dim light. "Or do you think that perhaps the love I have is something that only older people can share? Like it's some special privilege of being older? Or are you just trying to accommodate for the fact it took you seven years to tell Kotarou you loved him?" The words came out of Hatoko's mouth so fast, desperately, though she didn't mean to insult Tamayo like this. Tamayo was about to reply in defense when Hatoko lowered her head. "Sorry." She looked away. Several moments passed in silence.

"Hatoko-chan…" Tamayo turned away as well, her cheeks slightly red. She sighed. "If it's one thing I figured out, it's about going and telling them you love them before it's too late. Before you can't talk to them anymore, or before they are busy with someone else."

"Misaki is confused, I don't want to pressure her into loving me… But… I want it so much I can barely think sometimes." Hatoko replied.

"She is thinking about you though, Hatoko-chan."

"How do you know?" Hatoko shifted to look at Tamayo with her puffy red eyes, fresh tears still apparent on her face.

"I know because she called this morning, looking for you. Kotarou remembers her sounding excited." Tamayo smiled. "You should call her, and at the very least, let her know you miss her."

Hatoko dashed out of her room heart beating fast, and looking up the additional number that Misaki had left with her, called to the place where Misaki was staying. It rang and rang, but no one picked up. Apparently, there was no answering machine. Hatoko sighed, and the sudden burst of excitement faded. In any case, she decided to try again at regular intervals until Misaki picked up.

.o..o…O…o..o.

Misaki lead the way, bouncing along the windows in the mall, peering into various shops. Shuuko and Yuuko followed, chatting amiably about something or other – Misaki wasn't really paying attention, images of Hatoko swimming around in her head. She wanted to get something special for her. Noticing a Piffle Princess up ahead, Misaki dashed along to have a look inside.

Entering the Angelic Layer section, Misaki was instantly recognized by the many people in the crowd. She took a turn and disappeared down an empty aisle, remembering once again that all the Angelic Layer players knew her.

"Oh!" expressed Misaki in a somewhat hushed voice. She had spotted a particularly nice outfit for Suzuka, though she didn't want to draw too much attention to herself at the same time. It didn't really matter in the end, several people were already watching Misaki, though they were all relatively young and far too shy to approach her. Misaki pulled one of the outfits she had liked from the shelves and made her way out of the aisle, waving with a cute smile to the onlookers.

"She's going to like this," thought Misaki, but as soon as she had she noticed a particularly nice Angelic Layer themed frame for pictures, and she hurried over to have a look. "Hmm… I guess… I will get this too and put a nice picture in there of the both of us." Misaki removed a frame from the table and made her way to the counter.

Upon approaching the counter, Misaki spotted an Angelic Layer themed pencil case that she hadn't seen before, and alongside of this was themed pencils and erasers. What really caught Misaki's attention was the fact that some angels Misaki had never seen before were on the box. Gazing at it intently, she noticed that the angels had names under them.

"Isn't that a nice item? It has the angels from the regional tournament on it, see?" explained one of the attendants that had noticed Misaki looking at the box. Now that Misaki thought about it, she remembered seeing at least one of them in the national competition. Misaki turned to look at the young lady in front of her, who soon recognized her. "Why, it's Misaki-sama!" She smiled sweetly. Misaki turned pink and looked back at the pencil case, and then at the pencils and erasers. She took a few of each before picking out a case.

"Umm, I think I'm ready to buy these things, Miss," explained Misaki softly, and the attendant nodded her head, and still smiling, began to push buttons of the register in front of her. By now the entire store was taking furtive glances at her, but she didn't mind. Hatoko was still fresh in her thoughts.

"It looks like you're getting someone a few presents," said the attendant pleasantly. Misaki blushed, and failing to find words, nodded her head instead as she placed a few bills on the counter to pay for her items. After finishing up and saying goodbye to smiling lady, Misaki went off to find her mother and Yuuko, who were waiting just inside the entrance for her.

"How was it, Misaki?" Shuuko asked as they left the store.

"I had fun, and everyone was looking at me, and the lady behind the counter was really nice…" Misaki explained, eyes peering into the bag with the items she had purchased for Hatoko.

"I'm glad, though it is almost time for us to start heading back… Perhaps a stop in the chocolate shop wouldn't hurt though…" Shuuko replied with a smile. Misaki nodded, still red in the face, feeling anxious as her mother took glances at her every once in awhile.

"These things are for someone special, Misaki?" Shuuko asked finally. Misaki nodded again.

"Someone very, very special."

.o..o…O…o..o.

Sorry! It took me awhile to write this one ne? Oh wells, me be writing another chapter soon!

.oO Munkii