AN: Mini-update. Finale coming soon. I swear.

Summer was startled to find Ryan at her door when she opening it. "Ryan? Is everything okay?"

Ryan's eyes were unreadable. But dark.

"Chino?"

"Are you fucking my brother?" he asked quietly.

She couldn't think of the right answer fast enough so she knew he knew. He was looking through her.

He turned and started to walk away.

"Are you mad?" she called.

"No. I'm not mad." He stopped suddenly and turned to face her. "Does it mean anything to you?"

"No." The honesty came quickly.

Ryan turned again.

"Don't walk away, you came here for a reason…" she said.

"I came to find out why people were lying to me. What you do is your business."

Ryan had finally dozed off in his bed when he heard the doorbell ring. He didn't get up. Sandy and Kirsten were both up and his day of surfing had worn him out.

He felt like he was getting his balance again. Despite the revelation of Summer and Trey's 'intimacy' and all the confusing feelings it entailed, he was internally relieved that it wasn't something worse.

He didn't like people lying to him period but when he wasn't stable, it only made everything shakier.

Summer and Trey's 'relationship', whatever it might be in reality, had nothing to do with him. They were both totally capable of making their own decisions.

He could tell that Trey was honestly beginning to care about Summer. He wouldn't hurt her. Ryan trusted Trey to treat the women he cared about reasonably well.

Summer was more of a mystery. He didn't know what she was doing. She wasn't the type to 'slum' out of rebellion or hatred for her wealth. And he knew that she was still in love with Seth.

He closed his eyes. They'd figure it out.

"Ryan. I need to talk to you. We need to talk," Summer's voice snapped his eyes awake.

"Summer?"

"Who else? Did you really think I'd let you walk away?"

"I'm not mad, Summer. Really."

"I don't care. Now that you know…I probably need someone to talk to about it all…Coop's gone another month…"

He sat up and she settled on top of the covers sitting beside him. "Okay."

She started to cry before he even knew what was going on. He put his arm around her and she cried into his chest.

"I'm sorry…I just…I needed to do something to try and get out of this…this hole I'm in…Cohen's the only person I've ever slept with and I needed to try something different…get out of myself for a little while…"

"Its okay, Summer…"

She pulled away, wiping her face and stifling her tears as she steadied herself. "I'm using your brother. I'm sorry…"

"He's a big boy. He knows what he's doing…"

"It doesn't make it right. Being with him…it's not like Seth. Trey's…quiet. Like you. He listens to me and doesn't make fun of me…and he doesn't touch me like Seth did…Trey's been around, you know? He makes me feel good and I don't have to think when I'm with him."

Ryan nodded.

"But I don't love him. He knows that."

"He cares about you."

"Which is exactly why I have to stop. I don't want that." Summer looked at him seriously.

"What?"

"The whole reason I started this thing with your brother is because I wanted to feel something. And the whole reason you won't take Lindsay back is because you don't want to feel anything…"

The idea fluttered through his brain for a short moment. "No. I won't take Lindsay back because she doesn't mean it. She doesn't know me well enough."

"She loves you…" Summer whispered.

"No, she doesn't. Not the way I need her to. I'm not emotionally capable of being anyone's boyfriend right now."

"I get that," Summer agreed.

"I'm not mad, Summer. And you can talk to me about anything…and I'm sorry that I snapped on you about it…I could just tell that something was going on and I panicked…it's your business."

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you."

"It's not my business. I know better than to get involved in Trey's sex life," Ryan smirked. They'd gone plenty of rounds in Chino.

"So…we're okay?"

"Yeah. Are you?"

"Am I…"

"Are you okay?" he whispered.

"I don't think so…I don't think I've been okay in a long time…"

He kept his arms around her, comfortingly. "I know the feeling. But I think…I think it'll get better. We can't push ourselves."

"I know…but…it's not just me, right? This is really hard…"

"Yeah. It is."

"I'm sorry…"

"I know. Everything's going to be okay."

Kirsten was in the kitchen sipping coffee when Summer appeared. She hadn't even known that the girl had stayed over. "Hey. Want some?"

"Please," she nodded, sitting down. Kirsten poured her a cup and set it in front of her. "Thanks."

"You okay?" Kirsten asked.

"I don't think so. But…I'm better than yesterday. It's like…nothing that I do is making this better. I know it's going to take time, but…it's already been months since it happened and I know that I shouldn't still be in mourning," Summer replied.

"No one can tell you how long it's going to take for you to get over Seth, Summer. I still have days when I can't get out of bed. I still see him everywhere, hear his voice," Kirsten said gently. "Seth was your first love. Even if he wasn't…dead…he's always going to haunt you. I still hear songs on the radio that remind me of Jimmy…what you need to do is focus on making yourself happy because Seth…he wouldn't want you to be unhappy…"

Summer nodded. "I know. It's nice to hear it sometimes, though."

"Anything I can do, Summer?" Kirsten asked.

Summer sighed. "I…I talked to Ryan. He's…entirely too forgiving. I've been…I've been seeing Trey."

Kirsten was surprised. "Trey? He doesn't really seem like your type…"

"I was using him…trying to experiment a little…trying to snap out of this funk…it was a mistake and I hurt him, Trey, I mean. And even though Ryan says it doesn't matter…I know it does. I don't want to hurt either of them, Kirsten but it's a little late for regrets," Summer said.

"Oh, honey…I'm sure Ryan will understand. And Trey's a grown man, he'll understand, too. Have you talked to him?"

"Not since the last time I saw him. He…he was upset. He ended it, said he didn't want to hurt Ryan…or me. He's a good guy, like Ryan, but harder. Darker. I shouldn't have taken advantage of him," Summer sighed.

"I'm sure it wasn't all your fault. But you should apologize if its bothering you this much," Kirsten said.

Summer nodded and visibly steadied herself. "I think I'll go back to school next week. Distract myself. And I need a new project…"

"I hope you aren't considering Trey a project," Kirsten smiled.

"No, but…Ryan's birthday's coming up soon and I think we should do something. Something that will cheer him up and not remind him of Seth."

"We've been trying to get hints from him about what he wants, but he won't ask for anything. He says he has everything he needs…"

"Birthdays aren't about needs, they're about wants. I'll run it by Trey when I go to apologize. See what he can come up with," Summer said.

"Thanks. And Summer? I'm here for you."

"I know," Summer smiled.

Ryan was having lunch with Lindsay when he spotted his brother across the quad. "I'll be right back, okay?"

Lindsay nodded through her mouthful of pasta and watched him hurry across the grass.

"Hey, man, what's up?" Ryan asked, giving his brother a friendly hug. He noticed the bag in his hand and the idling taxi behind him.

"Nothing. I just came to say goodbye. I need to get out of here for a while," Trey replied.

Ryan studied his face. "Summer?"

"It's…complicated. You know about Summer?" Trey asked, surprised.

"Yeah. I, sort of, figured it out. You're leaving because of her?"

"It's…complicated, Ry. I know I said I'd stick around to help you out but I ended up…falling for her. And she's not for me, I don't even know her, I'm just…starved for attention, I guess," Trey said, shuffling uncomfortably.

"Have you told her?"

Trey snorted. "Like she'd care. I know she's your friend, but…she wasn't ever really my friend. She got what she wanted from me, you know?"

Ryan nodded solemnly. There was nothing he could say.

"But I'm not going back to Chino. Sandy got me this job in a halfway house out in Fresno, set me up with a new P.O. and everything. It should be cool. A new start."

"I know all about those. You'll call me, though, right?"

Trey held up a shiny new cell phone. "Sandy got me this, too. He's a good guy."

"Yeah. He is. Take care, Trey. And…thanks for coming. You really helped me out," Ryan said honestly.

Trey embraced him and held him for a long time before letting go. "Take care, baby brother. And you better come and see me."

"Ditto," Ryan smiled. He waited until Trey got into the taxi before turning and walking back toward his table.

"Everything all right?"

"I guess. Trey's leaving. Moving to Fresno," Ryan said.

"Oh, I'm sorry, Ryan…"

"He needs to move on with his life, too," Ryan replied. "I mean…him coming here was just what I needed. But I can't hold him back. He's not happy here, he needs to get his life straight."

Lindsay was still watching him with fierce concern. "Are you sure you're okay?"

"Yeah. Actually…I am," Ryan replied. "I'm going to miss him…but at least he's staying out of trouble and getting his life together. I know where to find him."

Lindsay seemed relieved. "Good…that's good."

"Letting go of the time
In this other world that spins around for one…"
--The Cure

Ryan came home from school and found Kirsten and Monica chatting in the garden. Monica hadn't returned to work, spending her time with family and friends while she recuperated. He gave them both hugs and retreated into the house to start dinner.

School was better. Lindsay and Zach were filling his time between classes and he'd missed just enough school that he had to pay attention in class.

Distraction was working.

He felt better. More capable of dealing with day to day life, which was something he hadn't been able to do in a while.

It was like he was finally coming to the surface for air.

Kirsten and Sandy were better. He'd interrupted them kissing or snuggling at least three times in the past 24 hours alone.

They were working on the house, they'd finally decided on a satisfactory design for the rebuilding.

Summer was still a concern. He was getting better. He was 'getting over it'.

But she was regressing. He could see it last night when she cried in his arms. He could feel it in her glance.

And he didn't know what to do about it.

Summer opened her door with a sigh. "Ryan?"

"You didn't call or come over all day. You okay?"

She stepped aside to allow him inside her room.

"What's up?"

She walked over to him and hugged him impulsively. "Bad day."

"I'm sorry. Want to talk about it?"

"Not really. Trey's gone."

"He came to say goodbye. Sorry he didn't call," Ryan said quietly.

She was surprised. Trey hadn't even bothered to tell her he was leaving. "I guess I didn't give him much reason to think I'd care," she replied honestly.

"Want to go out?"

She was surprised again. "What? Do you want to?"

"There's this big game tonight, championship game and I figured we could go somewhere and watch it on the big screen," Ryan said.

"Sports."

"Yes. Please?"

"What do I wear to watch sports?" she asked, gauging his reaction. She laughed at his perturbed expression. "Joking. Give me ten minutes."

"I'll believe that when I see it," he laughed.

The sports bar was crowded with people but Ryan and Summer snagged a table close to the screen.

"Drinking?" the bustling waitress asked, pausing beside their table.

"You want to?" he asked her.

Summer shrugged. "Sure, can we get a pitcher of Miller and a large order of your hottest wings?"

"Beer?" Ryan asked, visible startled.

She shrugged again. "We're at a sports bar, we have to drink beer."

"Coming up," the waitress said, disappearing.

"I didn't even know you drank beer," Ryan said, relaxing.

"I can do a keg-stand like a professional frat boy," she said.

"You never cease to surprise me."

"Why'd you bring me out?" she asked.

"Because. You didn't let me wallow, so I'm not going to let you."

"Wallowing is so underrated."

Ryan laughed. "Come on, aren't you sick and tired of being depressed?"

"True…but…"

"I'm not saying that it's going to just go away…but I think we might have to work a little harder at moving on. Start doing things that we don't associate with Seth. I'm never going to forget him and it's always going to hurt that he's not here, but…we're still here."

Summer nodded. "I see your logic. But putting it into practice…"

"Summer, you taught me this. Taking me to Santa Monica, snapping me out of the funk…I'm here for you, too. You're my closest friend these days and I can't afford to lose you," Ryan said.

The waitress returned with two frosty glasses and a pitcher of beer. "Ten minutes on the wings."

Sandy had just dozed off on the couch when he heard the front door open. It was after midnight on a school night and Ryan wasn't home.

"Shh…you're so busted if they hear us…" Summer's whisper carried to his ears.

Sandy tiptoed to the foyer and peeked out. Ryan was steadying Summer by the shoulders.

"Maybe if you hadn't finished that third pitcher we wouldn't be late," Ryan was saying.

Sandy could see that Summer was drunk, but Ryan seemed sober as he led her to his room. Sandy followed them, knowing that Ryan had spotted him.

A few minutes after taking Summer in, Ryan stepped out. "Sorry."

"Drinking?"

"We took a cab home. Summer had a lot more than I did, I stopped drinking at ten. It was stupid and I'm sorry, but…we had a good time."

Sandy was glad that Ryan had a good time but he was very upset about the drinking. "You promised me that you weren't going to drink anymore…"

"I wanted to see the game and…I don't have an excuse. It wasn't like before, I wasn't drinking to forget or to cope…I was just drinking because…"

Sandy waited for him to finish.

"Because it was nice to be a normal guy for a little while," Ryan said finally.

"You're grounded. And you have to tell Kirsten. But I'm glad you took a taxi and stopped drinking when you did," Sandy said, patting him on the shoulder.

"Thanks, Sandy. For understanding…I know it was a bad idea…but I really think it helped," Ryan said quietly, nodding toward his closed door. "She was pretty messed up, but she seems much better now. Despite the intoxication."

Sandy nodded. "I trust you, Ryan. And…it's good to see you having a good time…but I don't want you drinking."

"I'm sorry."

"Get some sleep, kid. We'll talk in the morning," Sandy said.

"I'm going to take the couch," Ryan said.

"Oh. Want to watch some TV, then?" Sandy asked.

"Sure," Ryan smiled.