Something was beeping, far away.

The steady sound gave him something to focus on, and helped him to push the fog from his mind. His shoulder didn't hurt any more. His arms and legs were no longer bent at odd angles. He seemed to be lying down, but he could feel from the warmth at his back that he wasn't in the tub any more. He was dry; someone must have turned the water off.

But something still wasn't right. He tried to breathe, but something was stopping him. Something was in his throat. He tried to lift his right hand to push whatever it was away, but he couldn't move his arm far enough. He tried to lift his left arm then, only to find that he couldn't move it at all. He repeated the process again with his legs, but discovered that he couldn't move them either.

He was tied down again.

Carter's eyes shot open in panic as he started pulling at the restraints that held him down on the gurney. He tried to call out, but the tube in his throat wouldn't let the sounds escape. He felt his heart pounding in his chest as his distress grew. He knew there was someone else in the room, but he couldn't turn his head far enough to find them, and that only served to reinforce his struggles.

"Carter!" he heard a familiar voice cry beside him. "Carter, stop! Calm down!"

Susan looked down at him, at the brown eyes that stared back up with her, wide with fear. She tried her best to smile at him, and placed her hand against his cheek. "You're all right, Carter. You're safe now." She saw him pulling against the restraints again, and moved her hand down to his arm. "I'm sorry about the restraints. We were worried about you. We gave you Narcan, to reverse the heroin."

At the mention of the drug, Carter's eyes filled with horror. He shook his head as vigorously as he could, and Susan leaned forward. "Carter, it's all right. We know. We know it wasn't you."

Carter seemed to relax a bit, but after a few seconds, he was pulling at the restraints again. "I can't, Carter. I'm sorry," Susan replied. "They're only there to keep you safe. And you ARE safe. You don't have to be afraid here." Carter pulled his arm again, more insistent this time, motioning in the direction of the tube. "No, that has to stay too. At least for a while. You need the oxygen. And with everything else..." Susan let her voice trail off when she noticed the darkness that filled his eyes. "No, Carter, don't..."

He pulled against the restraints again, harder than before. He shook his head and tried to lift it from the pillow, wanting nothing more than to remove the tube from his throat so that he could breathe, so that he could talk, so that he could tell them about Dave. He wanted to be able to move his arms and legs again, to be free again, to feel safe and not just be told he was.

"Oh, Carter, no..." Susan pleaded, leaning across him, trying her best to hold him down without re-injuring his shoulder. "I'm sorry, Carter. Haleh!" The nurse ran through the door almost immediately, and Susan turned to her. "Two of Versed. Now."

Haleh quickly drew the liquid into the syringe, stepping to the side of the gurney to tap the air from the needle. Carter froze when he saw her do it, his mind flashing images of another face, another person he trusted, doing the same thing. He began to thrash about wildly, Susan's continued effort to hold him still beginning to fail.

"Hurry, Haleh," Susan urged. "I can't hold him..."

Haleh looked down at Carter's face, at his pleading terrified eyes, and smiled softly. Before she gave him the injection, she laid her hand against his cheek. "I'm not gonna hurt you, baby. I'm not doing this to hurt you."

Haleh looked up at Susan, who nodded, and pressed the syringe against Carter's arm.

Carter felt the sting as the needle punctured his skin, and he tried to pull away. The combination of the restraints and Susan's hands held him fast, and all he could do was close his eyes as a single tear rolled down his cheek.

Haleh wiped the tear away gently, and Carter opened his eyes again to look at her. "No one's gonna hurt you here, baby. I promise you that."

Abby jumped out of the SUV before Peter had even pulled to a complete stop. She ran down the sidewalk and into the ambulance bay as fast as her legs would go. She burst through the doors and into the ER, completely breathless. "Randi!" she called, rushing to the admit desk. "Randi, where is he?"

"Trauma Two," Randi answered. "But Dr. Weaver wants you to talk to her before you go in there!" The second statement was shouted down the hallway, as Abby dashed toward the trauma room. "Abby! Abby, wait!"

Abby didn't stop until she'd reached the doors to the darkened trauma room. She walked toward them slowly, looking through them at the scene before her. She saw Haleh standing by the gurney, chart in hand, taking notes on his vital signs. Abby's eyes roamed across the various machines: the ventilator, the heart monitor, the blood pressure monitor, the pulse ox machine. She followed the cables to their end, raising her hand and pressing her fingertips against the glass.

Taking a deep breath, she swallowed the lump in her throat, and pushed the door open slowly. She kept her pace slow and steady, almost forcing her feet to move forward. She still hadn't seen his face, and somewhere in her mind she thought that as long as she didn't, she could pretend it wasn't real.

"Abby?" Haleh asked softly, hanging the chart on the rail of the gurney and walking toward her. "Abby, honey, are you all right?"

Abby bit her lip and nodded her head silently, reaching out her hand as she neared his side. She touched his leg first, brushing her fingers against his thigh lightly. Slowly, gently, she grasped his hand, wrapping her fingers around his. Shaking now, she used her other hand to push his hair away from his face lovingly before allowing herself to lean down and lay her forehead against his.

"You can talk to him, honey," Haleh reminded her from the door. "He can hear you, and it will do him good to hear your voice."

Abby closed her eyes against the tears that were running from them. "Thank you, Haleh," she answered softly.

"I'll be right outside if you need me." Haleh walked out the door.

Abby released her grasp on Carter's hand and slowly moved her own hand up until she cupped his face. Gently, trying to force herself to stop shaking, she pressed her lips against his forehead and kissed him. "I thought I'd lost you, John..." she whispered, her voice breaking. "I love you so much... I can't... I don't ever want to feel like that again..." She stopped, biting her lip again, ignoring the tears that fell from her eyes and onto his face. "You promised me you wouldn't go away. Please... please, don't ever go away, John. I don't think... I know... I can't live without you..."

Kerry stopped outside the doors before she entered the darkened room, exchanging a few words with Haleh and watching Abby through the glass. She nodded her head a few times in acknowledgement of the nurse's words, then slowly pushed the doors open and entered.

"Abby?" she said quietly, not wanting to startle her.

Abby lifted her head from the silent prayer she'd been offering, and wiped a tear away from her cheek. "He looks like he's sleeping," Abby said.

"He is sleeping," Kerry replied, walking to the other side of the gurney, keeping her eyes on Abby and resisting the urge to look at Carter's still face again. "The Narcan worked. The initial danger has passed. He's just sedated now."

"If he's out of danger, then why is he still on the vent?"

"It's just a precaution, Abby. You should probably know...he never stopped breathing on his own. Peter made sure of that."

"Yeah," Abby replied, running her fingers up and down Carter's arm absently. "Peter saved him. He's a good friend to him."

"He is," Kerry agreed. She took a few moments to compose herself, trying to think of the best way to continue. "Abby, the reason I'm here...Peter told you that this wasn't a suicide, didn't he?"

Abby nodded quickly, brushing another tear away.

"The police will be here soon, and they'll want to talk to you. I think it's probably best if, when they do arrive, you talk to them in the lounge rather than in here."

Abby cocked her head to the side slightly, a puzzled look on her face. "Why's his throat bandaged?" she asked suddenly, reaching out to touch the edge of the white gauze that circled John's neck. "A heroin overdose and slit wrists. That's what Peter said."

Kerry opened her mouth to answer, but closed it again quickly. What should she tell her? As a nurse, she would understand the implications, but as a woman? More specifically, as the woman who loved the man on the gurney between them? "Abby, there's more than you know..."

"Then tell me," she returned calmly.

"I don't think that would be such a good idea."

"Why not? If this were any other patient, you'd tell me."

Kerry nodded in agreement. "You're right; I would. But this isn't any other patient, Abby. This is John. You're not a nurse right now; you're the woman who loves him. And there are certain things that...well, to be honest, I don't know that it would do you any good to know right now."

"If it's going to affect him, Kerry, in any way at all... I need to know."

"And you will. But not right now. Right now, just be here with him."

Abby shook her head. "All those times, Kerry... all those times I said, 'He can hear you,' or 'He knows you're here.' I'm sitting here now, and I realize... I don't know that. I don't know that he even knows I'm here."

Kerry smiled softly. "He knows. Don't you ever doubt that he knows."

The door opened again and Kerry looked up. "Peter," she said in greeting to the man who had just entered. "Dave..."

"Kerry," Dave returned, his voice clipped.

"Kerry, the police are here," Peter reported. "Abby?" He stepped forward and placed a gentle hand on her arm. "Abby, they want to talk to you."

"Right now?" she asked him, grasping John's hand in her own once more. "No, I can't. I can't leave him. What if he wakes up? I have to be here when he wakes up."

"I'll stay," Dave volunteered. "If anything changes, I'll come get you. I swear."

"Abby?" Kerry prompted.

"Abby, come on," Peter said, helping her to stand from the stool she'd been sitting on. "The sooner you talk to them, the sooner you can be back."

Abby nodded quickly and turned to leave. Suddenly, she pulled away from Peter and leaned back down, kissing John's forehead again. "I'll be back," she vowed. "I'll be here when you wake up."

Dave watched them leave the room, and walked to Carter's bedside. He leaned down until his lips were right next to Carter's ear. "I'll be here when you wake up," he hissed. "And I'll take real good care of you."