Pairings: Multiple Sam pairings. If you're a fervid S/J shipper, proceed with caution
Season: set in season 7
Disclaimer: not mine
A/N: Written for the Teal'cathon! (bounces) I was asked for Teal'c arms, Sam and perhaps groping, no slash please. Many thanks go to fallenbelle for beta'ing and general hand-holding, and also to Ryuu for her encouragement.
He was always watching her.
She knew it wasn't really anything personal – he always watched everyone, and people were so used to him being a silent observer that they didn't really notice it any more. She still noticed though, and his gaze left her feeling exposed. She tried to convince herself that he merely wanted to gain deeper insight into Earth culture and the social behaviour of the Tau'ri, but deep down she knew he was constantly evaluating the people around him, assessing who could be counted upon in battle and who was worthy of his loyalty and respect.
She watched him too, though she hoped that her attention to him was subtle enough that he didn't notice – after all, she was an officer in the US Air Force and was pretty sure she wasn't supposed to notice things like arms or dark eyes, or a muscled back that drew her attention every time he stretched. Still, being an officer didn't preclude being a woman, much as she might wish it did. The world would be a much easier place if she could hide away all her unprofessional thoughts in a drawer of her bedside cabinet, only retrieving them when she was off-duty and it was safe to let her mind wander. Maybe some of them could even stay there permanently: that would certainly make for an easier life.
Because Sam prided herself on being professional, and because Teal'c didn't make a habit of wandering around shirtless, she managed to lock away all thoughts of his back, for the most part. She didn't feel guilty about staring at his eyes; though he'd mellowed during his time on Earth and gradually relaxed his mask of impassivity among those he cared for, she still found that his eyes were the best guide of how he was feeling. Being attuned to her teammates' moods was part of her job, so she allowed herself to glance at his eyes with impunity.
It was harder to persuade herself that the way she gazed at his arms was job-related, hard to the point where it was impossible; still, she never stopped trying, and yes, she'd always been an over-achiever. Unfortunately, even over-achievers couldn't help wondering sometimes, wonder why he was so fond of those sleeveless shirts that fitted him so well. Maybe he liked the freedom of movement that came from not being encased in cotton, or maybe he enjoyed the feel of air moving over his bare skin – she certainly liked the touch of the breeze on her shoulders, or the caress of a man's breath on her neck. Sadly, she suspected it all came down to his need to appear intimidating, as if showcasing his muscles somehow proved that he was still a strong and powerful warrior, even without his symbiote. She understood his need to hide any sign of weakness or vulnerability all too well.
As his teammate, she truly valued the strength of those arms. They'd carried her to safety through enemy fire when she'd been wounded, and they'd fought to defend Earth and its people against an enemy the world had no knowledge of. She wasn't the only one to appreciate them either – their power was legendary in the SGC. More than one arrogant young officer had strained a muscle while trying to beat Teal'c's record on the weight machines, only to suffer both Janet's muttering as she assigned them to light-duty and the mockery of everyone in the cafeteria as they tried to carry a tray of food one-handed. Jack and his team always made a point of trying not to snicker, but they made more effort for some of the young officers than others.
She could pretend that she watched Teal'c lifting weights from a professional interest into how many kilograms he could lift, but she'd be lying. He moved with a grace that belied his size, all his muscles flexing and tensing beneath gleaming dark skin, and it was beautiful to see. Sam wished that she could spend a little less time in her lab and a little more time training with him and concentrating on aesthetics as well as functionality, but until the war was over, honing her combat skills had to take precedence over tai-chi lessons. As it was, if she sometimes felt a little too aware of Teal'c's body as he corrected her stance or the positioning of her hands, then no one had to know.
Sometimes at night, lying in the dark with her arms clinging to a man's shoulders and her legs wrapped around his waist, she pretended that it was Teal'c who lay above her, pressing her down into the mattress. It was wrong to think of another man as her boyfriend thrust into her, but she told herself it could have been worse: she could have pretended it was her commanding officer who was using her body and whispering endearments to her as she came. Then again, Jack wasn't really the 'honey' or 'babe' type. Neither was Teal'c, but she could get past that if she closed her eyes and concentrated hard enough.
She loved Pete, or at least loved the normality that he represented, but that wasn't enough to give her satisfaction in his arms when the lights were on. The way she looked at it was, if he was too stupid to realise why she insisted on always fucking him in the dark, then he deserved everything he got. It wasn't as if he was being hard done by – there were plenty of men who'd be thrilled to have a hot, talented and inventive blonde warming their beds on weekends and special occasions. Her commanding officer was probably one of them.
No one was going to get hurt. She was very careful, and it helped that she'd never been one to cry out her lover's name in the grip of orgasm. Sometimes though, while she sparred with Teal'c in the gym or lingered with him over lunch in the cafeteria, she'd meet his gaze and the look in his eyes would make her flush; but it was okay because he didn't know, he couldn't possibly. Because he didn't, she could imagine his arms around her and the feel of his body over hers without fear.
Unless he did know already and she'd just been fooling herself all along. The thought made her shiver.