Chapter 5: The End of the Middle

Remus was a bit surprised, when he opened his Hogwarts letter (my last ever Hogwarts letter, he thought sentimentally), to find a note from Dumbledore, asking him to come to the Headmaster's office as soon as he arrived at school.

Don't we usually wait until the school year actually starts to get in trouble?

He was not surprised to find that he had not been named Head Boy. Making him prefect had been going out on enough of a limb. But he was surprised at who was named.

So were all his friends.

"You're what?" asked Sirius, backing away from James as if he might be contaminated. "How'd that happen?"

"I don't know," said James, staring down at the badge in his hand. "I'm not even a prefect..."

"You're a leader," said Remus. "Dumbledore knows that. I think he's worried that the school might be attacked, and he's going to need battle leaders in those positions."

"Positions?" asked Peter.

"Head Boy and Girl." The four of them were at James' house – Peter's mother had relented enough to allow him the occasional day trip, as long as he behaved.

"Do you know who the Head Girl is, then?" asked Sirius.

Remus smirked. "I have a pretty good idea... and if I'm right, it might just reconcile Prongs to his fate."

Remus was right, as he discovered on platform nine and three-quarters. Lily Evans was already there when he and the other Marauders arrived, directing traffic, the Head Girl badge gleaming on her black robes.

"Evans," said James, walking up to her and holding out his hand.

She took it and shook it in a business-like way. "Potter."

Sirius frowned. "That doesn't look good."

"Civil is a start," said Remus. "Let's find seats."

A loud whistle attracted their attention. Aletha Freeman was waving at them from the train. "Come on in," she called. "Got a compartment saved."

Sirius needed no second urging. Peter followed him, and Remus brought up the rear, musing on the summer just past.

His mother had made a full recovery, as would Aletha's – the Healers had been able to halt the spread of Teresa Freeman's cancer, and Muggle drugs were taking care of what was already there. Mrs. Freeman had lost some weight and her hair, but was otherwise doing fine.

The cancer and its treatment had another side effect as well, but this one wasn't on the patient. Aletha had introduced Sirius to her mother and father, and the first impressions had been favorable on both sides. Sirius apologized for not being able to reciprocate, but Aletha said that was quite all right, considering the reception she, a Muggleborn, would have received from most of the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black.

As long as Mrs. Freeman was taking treatments at St. Mungo's, Sirius had showed a strange disposition to hang around the place, to the point where Andromeda had given him the woman's treatment schedule just so he wouldn't keep showing up at random times. Once Mrs. Freeman's magical treatments were over, Sirius' obsession with the hospital had stopped, but he had of course wanted to be kept updated on her condition with the Muggle kind of medicine working on her, and he and Aletha had kept both their owls busy through the summer.

And now, here was Aletha, asking them to sit with her, when the year before she wouldn't have given them the time of day...

In another five years, she and Padfoot might actually admit they like each other.

Remus chuckled as he pulled his trunk down the hall after him.

"Hi there, oh great exalted one," said Danger, coming out of the compartment.

A gleam on her robes caught Remus' eye. He grinned. "Congratulations."

"Yeah, yeah, it's a nuisance and I didn't want it," grumbled Danger, but Remus could tell she was actually thrilled to have been chosen prefect. "You going to teach me the ropes?"

"If you need help, I'm here."

Danger flipped her hair out of her face with a smug little toss of her head. "I'll remember that. And the reverse is also true."

"And I'll remember that." Remus warred with himself for a moment, then gave in. "In case I ever need help from a furry midget."

"Furry midget?" Danger's wand was in her hand. "I'll show you furry midget!"

Remus managed to block her Shrinking Charm, but wasn't so lucky with the Hair-Thickening Jinx. Sirius had to reverse it, after he stopped laughing, since Remus couldn't articulate anything through the mustache which had grown to cover his mouth. Danger looked quite pleased with herself.

She'd better watch what she eats tonight. Or rather, she'd better not watch. I think I have just one packet of Purple Polka-dot Powder left...

The note in Remus' letter had included the current password to Dumbledore's office. "Pepper Imp," he told the gargoyle, and was shortly riding the staircase upwards. He knocked on the wooden door.

"Come in," called the Headmaster's voice. Remus pushed the door open.

Dumbledore was sitting at his desk, with a small group of people in front of it – a family, Remus thought, father, mother, and daughter, whom he vaguely recognized as being from Danger's year.

"Ah, Remus, excellent. Mr. and Mrs. Mead, this is Remus Lupin, a Gryffindor seventh year and a prefect. Remus, Mr. and Mrs. Mead and their daughter Evanie, a Gryffindor fifth year."

"Pleased to meet you," said Remus, shaking hands with the family. The mother was openly sizing him up, the father looked somewhat skeptical and the daughter embarrassed.

All right, what's going on here?

"Miss Mead was bitten by a werewolf during last month's full moon," said Dumbledore gravely. "Her diagnosis has been confirmed. I have assured her family that her education here can continue, but they wished to hear from someone with, shall we say, personal experience." His eyes were somewhat apologetic – he knew how much Remus hated to have anyone find out about his condition.

But this is legitimate. She's going to be scared out of her mind this coming month – I remember how I felt, starting here, and I'd had years to get used to transforming by then. As much as anyone ever does get used to it.

"Would you mind telling the Meads about the precautions which are taken to ensure your, and our, safety at the full moon?" Dumbledore finished.

"Of course." Remus turned in his chair to face the family. "The Shrieking Shack in Hogsmeade is not actually haunted," he explained. "That's where I spend my transformation nights. There's a secret passageway to it from the Hogwarts grounds – no direct access to the castle, so even if I did find a way out while I was transformed, I wouldn't get into the school itself. As well, the passage is guarded by the Whomping Willow, which keeps the students out and me in at the same time."

Evanie smiled hesitantly. "I always wondered what that was for," she said quietly.

"So, will Evanie spend full moons in this Shack too?" Mr. Mead asked Dumbledore.

"It is the safest place we have, and I am sure Remus will not object to sharing."

Sharing.

Sharing the Shack.

With another werewolf.

The implications of that hit Remus like a ton of hippogriff dung.

The others can't come anymore. There's no way they could let me out and keep her in – she'd want to come with us, and James and Sirius can't possibly control two of us, they have a hard enough time with me – we can't go exploring anymore...

"So, you two will be spending time together," Mrs. Mead was saying as Remus brought his mind back to the present, grateful for his long practice in keeping his thoughts off his face. "Perhaps something will come of that, eh, dear?" She poked her daughter in the side and winked. Evanie blushed and shot an apologetic look at Remus.

And that's something else I didn't think of. A male wolf and a female, confined in the same space for a night... oh, very bad things could come of that...

"I believe you two will want to join your friends now," said Dumbledore, looking at Remus and Evanie. "The feast is currently underway, and I can answer any further questions you may have." This last was addressed to the Meads.

"Thank you, sir." Remus got up and opened the door for Evanie, making her mother chuckle knowingly.

"I'm sorry about her," Evanie blurted as they rode the staircase down together. "She thinks it would be romantic if I fell in love with another werewolf."

Remus had to laugh. "Do you think it would be romantic?" he asked.

"No," said Evanie frankly. "You're very nice, but I don't think I could love you. I'm not a very good student, and you are. You're always reading and studying. Besides, you're..." She broke off, blushing even harder.

"What?" asked Remus, honestly confused. "I'm what? Ugly?"

"No!" Evanie stared at him. "Do you think that?"

"Not really, but I have no idea what could be making you so embarrassed that you can't even say it. I don't take offense easily, trust me."

"But... it's nothing to do with you, really it isn't. I shouldn't even have brought it up. I'm sorry."

"It's all right. Shall we just forget it?"

"Please." They walked a short way in silence.

"I know about you and your friends," said Evanie after a little while. "But I don't really know you. There's you, and there's the captain of the Quidditch team..."

"That's James. James Potter. He's Head Boy this year as well."

"Oh, is he? I knew Lily Evans is Head Girl, but not about him... and then there's the other boy who plays Quidditch, the Beater..."

"Sirius Black."

"And he likes the other Beater," said Evanie with certainty. "Aletha. But she can't stand him."

"You might be surprised," said Remus. "I think they may have come to at least a truce over the summer."

"Good." Evanie nodded. "They'll play better that way. And then there's the other boy. Peter Pettigrew."

"So his name you know," said Remus in slight surprise.

Evanie nodded. "We work together sometimes at Danger's study sessions."

"I see."

They had reached the Great Hall. "Do you have people you always sit with?" asked Remus. "Or could I tempt you to sit with us?"

"Really?" Evanie brightened. "I'd love to sit with you. Thank you."

"You're welcome." Remus spotted James and Sirius about a third of the way down the table and waved at them. James waved back and scooted down on the bench, making room between himself and Peter. But there was only room for one...

"You take that seat," said Remus. "I'll go around."

"She was right," said Evanie almost to herself.

"Who was?"

"Oh – er, my mum. She said you looked like a really nice person when you came in."

Remus shrugged and let it go, crossing the Hall to find some space across the table from his friends.

"Have you heard the news?" asked Sirius, sitting on the table about a week later at breakfast.

"Get your bum off this thing, unless you want us to eat it," said Aletha, punching him on the leg.

"No, what's the news?" asked James, passing Lily the toast.

"Danger's not going with Bevington any more."

Aletha, Lily, and Evanie all snickered. "That's not news," said Lily. "She hasn't been going with Bevington for a long time."

"So who is she going with?" asked Remus, attempting to make this question sound completely offhand and casual.

Sirius frowned. "Dunno."

Peter made a noise, but when Remus looked at him, he was concentrating on his kippers.

"Well, I did see her in the library with someone," said Evanie. "But I don't think she's actually going with him. He doesn't seem like her type."

"Who was it?" asked James.

Evanie shrugged. "I don't know his name. He's your year, but I think he's a Slytherin."

"A Slytherin?" Aletha sounded amazed. "Danger would never go out with a Slytherin!"

"Oh, come on, Letha, they can't all be bad," said Lily.

"As long as it wasn't my horrid brother," said Sirius.

"Can't be," said James. "Our year, you said, Evanie?"

"Snape."

Six heads turned towards Peter. "She was in the library with Snape," he said in a tone of unburdening himself of all his bad news at once. "They were talking quietly and looking at a big book together."

"I don't believe it," said James.

"Believe it," said Sirius, staring towards the entrance to the Great Hall.

Everyone turned to look.

Danger Granger and Severus Snape had just walked in, side by side and deep in conversation.

"Well, I suppose he could just be getting study help," said Lily, but as if she didn't even believe herself.

"Snape? Need study help?" James snorted. "He may be a git, but he's an intelligent git. He doesn't need help – she's more likely to need help from him."

Remus hadn't thought he could ever feel as bad again as he had felt when Danger had spurned him in his fifth year. He'd been wrong.

He stared at them, watching every movement of their hands, Danger's brown eyes earnestly fixed on Snape's greasy face as he explained a difficult point, with the usual expression of not-quite-sneering that the Slytherin wore when he had to speak with a Muggleborn perfectly in place.

I would never have expected this from him, with his standpoints on Muggleborns. He hasn't exactly bothered to keep them secret.

But if anyone could change his mind, it would be Danger. No one could resist her.

Maybe she'll be able to un-git-ify him. That would be like her – noble, kind, and apparently impossible...

But more likely, she'll just throw her life away on him.

Better on him than on you, said the most cynical part of his mind. At least he can support her and give her children. Be honest – she'll have a better chance at happiness with him than she would with you. And you want her to be happy.

So quit staring at them like that will change anything. It won't.

He tore his eyes away just in time to see Evanie giving Peter a thumbs up, and Peter grinning back at her. He would ordinarily have been interested in what that was about, but not today.

He missed Aletha's wink to Lily completely.

Remus found some time to do some research in the library before his and Evanie's first full moon together, and what he found relieved him greatly. Studies had been done on werewolves – with their prior permission, Remus devoutly hoped – which showed that male and female werewolves in wolf form were not sexually attracted to one another. It probably had to do with the sterility, Remus thought – since they didn't reproduce that way, there was no reason for them to have that kind of drive.

As well, he and Evanie likely wouldn't attack one another. It was even possible that they might have the same kind of calming effect on each other as the animal-Marauders did on him...

And I still haven't told them.

Remus shut his book and went to find his friends. They'd have to be told; full moon was in two days, and they were all expecting to go out with him as usual.

They're not going to like this.

"Why the hell not?" exploded Sirius when Remus told him it might not be a good idea for the Marauders to join him in the Shack this month.

James was slightly more restrained. "Are you suddenly turning into a masochist or something, Moony?"

"No. Just trust me, all right? It's a bad idea for you to come this month, or the rest of this year, come to think."

"What's going on?" asked Peter, coming into the dorm.

James told him.

Peter looked at Remus. "Is this because of Evanie?" he asked.

"What does Evanie have to do with anything?" asked Sirius blankly.

Remus nodded. "You know, then," he said.

Peter smiled shyly. "When I asked her to go to Hogsmeade with me, she said there was something I should know first..." The end of his sentence was drowned out by the other boys' noises of congratulations.

"So you finally got around to it," said James, pumping Peter's hand. "Well done, Wormtail."

"I hope you told her it doesn't matter," said Sirius, taking his turn.

"And I hope you didn't tell her why," said Remus. "It is still illegal, you know. What are you planning on doing about that, by the way? Someone's eventually going to find out – the girls are going to have to know, if you plan on staying with them..."

"We can pretend to study for it after we leave school," said James, waving a hand airily as if dismissing such a mundane detail. "And then break all records for how fast we pass the Ministry tests."

"So what did Evanie have to tell you before she'd go to Hogsmeade with you?" asked Sirius.

"She's a werewolf too."

"Oh." Sirius nodded. "So you have to share now, Moony. That's no big deal, is it?"

"No – but it means we can't go out like we usually do."

"Why not?"

Remus sat down on his bed. "Padfoot, be sensible. You and Prongs had enough trouble keeping me back the last time we ran into someone out for a late night walk in the moonlight. How are you going to handle two of us? It isn't going to work – so just stay in the castle. Or, if you do come out, we all have to stay in the Shack."

"Aww," complained James. "I hate that place. My antlers always catch on that one chandelier."

"Fine, stay in and study for Potions," said Sirius. "I'm going. Wormtail?"

"I'm in." Peter grinned.

"And I don't have a choice," said Remus.

They all looked at James.

"Oh, fine," he said in his best whiny little boy voice.

"There's only one problem," said Remus. "If you three have the same effect on her as on me, she's going to remember you. At least a little."

Sirius shrugged. "Tell her it's common to have hallucinations of other animals or something. She doesn't know any better."

"I don't want to lie to her, Padfoot."

"Don't lie. Just bend the truth a little. Tell her you saw them too, and you always see them on full moons, but never any other time. That's true, isn't it?"

"More or less... though I seem to recall a certain time last year when McGonagall caught three boys and a dog drunk in a classroom at ten o'clock..."

"And who was it that suggested the Tower might not be the best place to drink?" demanded Sirius.

"I didn't tell you to transform and start dancing, that was your idea."

Evanie's first full moon passed more or less quietly. She bore the pain, beforehand and after, stoically, and from Remus' admittedly foggy memories, she made a handsome wolf. True to what he'd read, he had felt no spark of desire towards her, except perhaps the desire to play. And play they had – up and down the stairs, down the halls and through the rooms – one of the upstairs bedrooms had a new door in it, where the two of them had crashed through a wall together.

Sirius had joined in their games wholeheartedly, but Peter was too small to keep up, and James had the problem he'd mentioned – antlers really weren't meant for indoor use. So the two of them had stayed on the main floor, in the one room with a nice high ceiling and nothing hanging from it, and the two wolves and the dog had brought the games to them when they had run off some of their energy.

Overall, it had been a decent full moon. Not like some of the ones they'd had last year, of course, the ones where they could roam the entire Forest, go hunting, play a proper game of hide-and-go-seek...

But he couldn't have that any more, Remus told himself sternly, and it was foolish to wish for what he couldn't have.

So why are you still thinking about Danger? asked a snide little voice in his head.

Shut up. Danger didn't seem in a hurry to replace Bevington. She and Snape had been seen together a few times, but never in any really romantic-looking place or pose, and even the most avid gossipmongers were starting to lose interest in them. In fact, Danger hadn't been seen very much at all lately.

Maybe she and Snape found a nice private place, the voice suggested. Somewhere where no one will bother them. And they're sneaking off together and...

I said shut up.

The voice didn't listen. Instead, it provided particulars of what Snape and Danger might be doing together. This in itself was rather disgusting to think of, but it was made worse by the fact that just about everything the voice listed, Remus would have been only too happy to do with Danger himself.

He was greatly relieved to be distracted by the arrival of Peter, who said he had come to visit him, Remus, but spent most of his time glancing over at Evanie – and the flowers he produced from behind his back certainly weren't for Remus.

I think he's been taking charm lessons from Sirius.

One term, a few Hogsmeade weekends, and three full moons later, the situation hadn't improved at all. If anything, it had gotten worse. Danger was almost never seen in public anymore, except in classes and at meals, and even those she hurried out of as if she had somewhere vitally important to be. And Snape was often missing at the same times she was.

It didn't help that all three of Remus' friends were so happily in love it was sickening. James had asked Lily, very politely, if she would go to Hogsmeade with him, and been floored when she said yes. Sirius had asked Aletha the same night, and Peter and Evanie's date had been made long beforehand. They were the newest, hottest couples on the Hogwarts gossip chain, and odds were being laid on who would be the first to pop the question.

Remus was in a foul mood as he left his last class of the term. It didn't help that James had slipped a note to Lily while the professor was distracted, or that Sirius had spent the entire period doodling ACF + SVB all over his parchment, or that Peter had practically dashed out the door when the bell had rung, probably heading for some rendezvous with Evanie...

And just as Remus thought that, he turned a corner and saw them.

They were kissing behind one of the suits of armor. No, not kissing. This was full frontal snogging, and from the position of Peter's hands, Remus was willing to bet it was going to go a bit farther soon.

He backed quickly away before either of them could notice him, put down his schoolbag, removed a spare piece of parchment, and reduced it to fragments.

I hate this. I bloody hate this. I really, truly, bloody hate this.

What do you hate? asked a voice in his mind – for a wonder, a reasonable-sounding one. Seeing Peter be lucky in love? He deserves some happiness, doesn't he?

Yes – that's not what I meant...

Ah, it's Peter being lucky while you're not, isn't it?

Remus growled under his breath, then decided to be honest with himself, since he couldn't be with anyone else. Yes.

Tell me something. What makes Evanie special?

You mean apart from her being interested in Peter?

Yes.

Well, she's a werewolf...

There!

There what?

Being a werewolf doesn't necessarily mean no one will ever love you. We've just proved it.

Remus snuck another look around the corner, then pulled his head back hastily. They had indeed moved on, and he rather hoped they moved, full stop, before Filch caught them.

Go on, he said to the voice.

All that's needed is for the other person to be understanding and flexible. And Danger fits those categories, doesn't she?

Well...

Doesn't she?

Yes.

Fine. Get her alone, tell her the truth, and see what she says.

What part of the truth? The "I'm a werewolf" part, or the "I want to snog you until we both pass out from lack of air" part?

Both.

Don't you think she might have a bad reaction to that?

Which part?

Both.

No. Girls love hearing stuff like that.

They do? If I'd known that, I would have told the world long ago...

You know which one I mean. And you do know that talking to yourself is one of the first signs of insanity?

"In that case, I've been insane for years," muttered Remus aloud.

"At least you have the courage to admit it," said a voice from behind him.

Remus spun around. Danger was leaning against the wall of the hallway, grinning. "Hi," she said.

"Hello." Remus felt his breath coming a bit short, and not just from the shock she'd given him. She was so beautiful...

"We haven't seen each other much lately. I thought I'd come say hi before we all leave for home."

"Thanks." Remus couldn't think of anything else to say.

What am I thinking? Of course I have something to say to her!

"Danger, can I talk to you for a moment? Alone?"

Danger looked around. There was no one else in sight.

"I mean, somewhere we won't be disturbed," Remus explained quickly, cursing inwardly. This was going to be awkward, but he finally had his courage up, and he was going to get this done and damn the consequences.

"All right." She turned and began walking down the hall. Remus followed her.

An empty classroom wasn't hard to come by. Remus shut the door behind himself and turned to face her. "I have something to tell you," he began. "Something important. I probably should have told you a long time ago, but I was always too scared."

Danger was sitting on one of the desks, one knee drawn up to her chest, arms wrapped around it, and looking at him intently.

"So it's time for me to stop having secrets. Time you knew." Remus took a deep breath to say the three words that would change her view of him forever.

The door flew open.

"I've been looking for you," said a deep, heavily enunciated voice. "You're needed."

"What, now?" Danger looked highly unhappy. "Can't it wait?"

"You know it can't." Severus Snape looked at Remus. "Lupin," he said with a curt nod.

"Snape," Remus answered, keeping his face impassive.

Danger slid off the desk. "I have to go," she said, looking at Remus imploringly. "I really have to go – it's important – I want to hear this, whatever it is, but can it wait?"

"Yes, of course," said Remus. "It can wait."

But in his heart he knew it couldn't.

If I was ever going to tell her, it had to be now.

I don't think I'll ever have that much courage again.

And as he watched Danger follow Snape from the room, it seemed he might never again have any courage at all.

(A/N: So here's a nice long chapter to make up for no update last night! I hope Alex got my message through... if not, I'll get him for it...

Of course I did, what do you think I am, a stupid Gryffindor?

I thought you said you weren't going to write in my author notes.

I lied.

Of course you did.

Anyway. I had a good time at the wonderful house of my wonderful boss, who served us this delicious thing with shrimp – I thought she was just going to order pizza or something – and then I played Frisbee and caught fireflies (not at the same time). And more chapter will come tomorrow... speculations on what Danger's actually doing with Snape are quite, quite welcome! Correct speculations will be rewarded with hugs!)