Chapter 7: The Middle of the End

"Sirius. Sirius. Sirius!"

He groaned. Someone was shaking him. He wished they'd let him sleep.

"He looks bad," said another, worried voice.

"He should be all right," said the voice which had been calling him. He ought to be able to remember a name to put with the voice, Sirius thought, but it just wasn't coming. "No signs of major internal damage, no broken bones – he was damn lucky. But I want him awake so I can see if there's been any damage to that thing he calls his brain..."

The memory finally drifted within reach. After a few moments of intense, and somewhat painful, concentration, Sirius got his mouth to work.

"Letha?"

"He knows me, that's a good sign," said her voice, sounding relieved. "Hey there, ugly partner. Think you can get your eyes open?"

"Mmm... 'll try."

When he had time, Sirius decided, he was going to find out who had attached lead weights to all his eyelashes and do it back to them. Right after he kicked the drumming circle out of his head.

Aletha's figure, leaning over him, swam into focus. "There you are," she said, smiling at him.

"Thought you weren' talkin' t'me," Sirius slurred, surprised at the sound of his voice. He didn't remember getting drunk...

"Well, I make exceptions. That was one heck of a brave thing you did tonight. Stupid, but brave."

"Wha'd I do?"

"You ran outside and fought two werewolves to keep them from killing your brother," said Lily, coming into his field of view – the other voice had been hers, Sirius realized. "Once one of them was under control and the other one was gone, you dragged Regulus back into the castle. Then you collapsed."

"How'd you find me?"

"Peter came and got us."

"Oh. Where's he?"

"In the hospital wing. We had him take Regulus up so he could get treated himself."

Something finally twigged in Sirius' brain. "How'd you know I's fighting werewolves?"

Aletha sighed. "Peter told us everything," she said. "Or at least he claims he did."

"He told us about Remus and Evanie," said Lily, counting on her fingers. "And about you and him and James. And about how Remus once tried to eat him. And..." She scowled. "About how James told him it was all right to let them loose on the grounds tonight."

Sirius smiled, then stopped because it made his face hurt. "See?" he said instead. "I don' have th'monop'ly on stupid."

"No, you certainly don't." Lily was looking towards the huge doors anxiously. "I hope he's all right..."

As if on cue, one of the doors opened, admitting a gust of wind and snow which swirled around the otherwise invisible figure of a human being. Lily marched over to the door, pushed it shut, and pulled the Invisibility Cloak off James, who was looking rather beaten up himself, cradling one arm to his chest as well as having several bleeding cuts on the portions of him Sirius could see.

"That's all of you, then," said Aletha in satisfaction. "Come on, let's get you upstairs to Madam Pomfrey."

She conjured a stretcher under Sirius. "Don't talk to me," she warned him. "I'm not very good at this yet, and I might drop you if I have to make conversation. But don't go to sleep."

"Don' talk, don' go t'sleep. Got it."

"Good."

Instead of talking, Sirius counted the cracks in the ceiling as they went by. He had reached forty-seven when he thought of an important question he needed to ask. Unfortunately, by the time they reached the hospital wing he'd forgotten it again.

He remembered it in the instant between swallowing the last of the Sleeping Potion Madam Pomfrey gave him after she ascertained it was safe to do so and actually falling asleep.

She said one of the werewolves was under control and the other one was gone. Which one was which?

And where did the other one go?

"So," said Lily to James, sitting on the end of his bed after he'd been treated. Madam Pomfrey had allowed her to stay, with strict orders that she was to be out of there in ten minutes or she wouldn't know her head from her toes for three days.

"So?" James smiled in his most charming way, but with an undercurrent of 'I'm-really-in-it-deep-this-time'.

"Illegal Animagus, are you?"

James winced. "Who told you?"

"Who do you think?"

"Wormtail." James sighed heavily. "He's never been good at keeping secrets."

"Let's see how good you are at keeping them when Letha and I both have our wands in your face."

"Good point."

"So. Remus and Evanie are werewolves. You, Sirius, and Peter are illegal Animagi. And you sneak out there every full moon to play with them. Do I have this right?"

James nodded warily.

"I won't tell anyone," said Lily, and watched James' face light up. "On two conditions."

"Conditions?"

"First off, you swear to me never, ever, to let them out of there again. Regulus could have died tonight, and it would have been your fault. The way it would have been Sirius', if Snape had been killed that night."

James flinched and held up his right hand. "I swear. No more letting them out."

"Good."

"What's the other condition?"

Lily grinned. "Teach me how to do it."

"Do what?"

"Become an Animagus, you twit! If you can do it, I can!"

James stared at her. "I can't believe this. Lily Evans, the most rule-following person I know, is asking me to help her break not just the rules, but the law?"

"I wouldn't be breaking any laws," said Lily, just a trifle haughtily. "I'm of age. And I'd register with the Ministry beforehand. But since you've already done it, it would be stupid of me not to have you help me. So tell me. What goes into becoming an Animagus?"

James scooted himself up in his bed a bit. Lily could tell this was one of his favorite topics, and obviously not one he got to talk about a lot. "Well, first there's a very simple spell. I think even a first year could do it. It's a scry, to find out what your form would be, and you do it with your wand and a mirror or a bowl of water or anything else you'd use for scrying. Revelaro Animalis is the incantation. But like I said, that's the easy part. After that, the real work begins."

"Is it a wanded spell, or a potion, or a combination?"

"Combination, and there's lots of bookwork involved too. You have to go looking for spells to transfigure each part of your body. Front legs, back legs, top half, bottom half, tail – Sirius spent hours growing and ungrowing his tail, it fascinated him – and head. You need a couple of extra spells for the head, too – one so that you can still think like a human, and one to turn it back after a set length of time, because if your head is animal you obviously can't talk. That's one of the most common ways Animagus goes wrong, is people getting stuck with animal heads."

Lily shuddered.

"Exactly. Plus, you need spells to make sure your body can handle the new things you're changing it into, and spells to make sure you don't accidentally poison or crush yourself – and you have to find them all on your own, because they're a little different for everyone. It takes bloody forever – took us more than a year. And then, after you've changed every part of your body individually, comes the potion."

"What's that do?"

"It tells your body that, all right, you've made all these changes to parts, now you want all of it to change that way at once. And it helps make the changes permanent, so you can do it wandlessly." James made a face. "It is the most complicated, picky-perfect, horrendous potion I have ever brewed."

"Oh, you did it?"

"Think about it, Evans – would you trust Sirius or Peter with a cauldron? Or Remus, for that matter? Remember the hot pink hair incident?"

Lily groaned. "Never forget it."

"So yes, I brewed the potion. And I had to do it four times."

"Four?"

"The first batch ate through the cauldron – we couldn't use our school ones, they would have been missing for three months, that's how long it takes to brew, so I bought a cheap one at a junk store and it turned out not to be acid-resistant. The second batch blew up halfway through because I added one too many acorns, and we waited too long to drink the third batch, so it curdled. You have ten minutes to drink this stuff after it turns clear, and we couldn't find Wormtail in time to do it. So I had to start all over. But the fourth batch came out fine."

"Is that the end of it?"

"No. Then you need one last incantation, for your full transformation. You can use a prewritten one or write your own – we found this old book in the library with suggestions for all sorts of forms, and a Latin dictionary to help you write one. Peter used a premade one, with a little customization, but Sirius and I wrote our own. You need to recite the full incantation when you're first transforming all the way, but as you get better at it, you can cut it shorter and shorter, until finally you don't need it at all. That's when you're really an Animagus."

Lily nodded thoughtfully. "Think I will," she said. "But maybe I'll wait until after N.E.W.T.s."

"Good plan." James moved a little closer to her. "I've been doing a lot of talking. Can I ask you a question?"

"All right."

"When did you stop hating me?"

"Hating you?" Lily stared at him in confusion. "I've never hated you."

"Ahem." James forced his voice into a falsetto. "'I'm surprised your broom can even get off the ground with that fat head on it. You make me SICK.'"

"Oh, that." Lily laughed. "Don't you know why I was so angry with you?"

"Because I was being a total prat?"

"Well, that. But I was madder than I would have been if it had been just Sirius doing it. Do you know why?"

"Er, no."

"Because I liked you, you big idiot! I liked you, and it was driving me nuts that a boy I liked could do such awful things – and that I didn't even have the sense to stop liking him! So I overreacted, and made things worse – I know Letha and Danger had to stop you after I left, because you were mad at me and taking it out on Snape."

"Speaking of Danger, where is she?"

Lily shrugged. "She wasn't in her dorm. She might have slipped out to the library for a midnight study session."

"Or a midnight snog session," said James in disgust. "With Snape."

Lily looked away to avoid showing the expression on her face to James. "Possibly."

"Shouldn't we do something about that? Being Head Boy and Girl and all?"

"We probably should. But right now, I want to keep talking to you, because I still haven't answered your question." Lily thought back. "There wasn't one big thing last year that made me change my mind about you. It was a lot of little things, I think. Like the way you coached the new Chasers and Seeker on the Quidditch team – you were so patient and never yelled at them, even when they dropped the Quaffle or missed the Snitch at practice. Or the way you could take a joke on yourself. Not everyone can do that."

"You mean the time Padfoot and Moony levitated my bed down to the Great Hall and left me there?"

"With a big lighted message over it saying 'James Potter sleeps with a teddy bear.'" Lily laughed aloud. "And you did."

"And I still do," admitted James. "His name is Mr. Pookums."

"Mr. Pookums?"

"There, my big secret is out at last." James looked relieved. "Now you know everything about me."

"Should I run up to the Tower and fetch you Mr. Pookums, so that you'll sleep better?" asked Lily naughtily.

"No thanks – but I might like a goodnight kiss."

"In your dreams, Potter." Lily stood up. "Sleep well."

"Thanks. You too." James pulled his glasses off and set them on the nightstand, lay down in the bed, and closed his eyes.

Lily bent over and brushed her lips against his cheek.

James' hazel eyes flew open again. "What the–"

"You must have been dreaming," said Lily, smiling wickedly at him.

James shook his head. "Flirt."

"Only with you." Lily wiggled her fingers in a sweetsie wave goodnight.

Remus came awake feeling odd.

Cheated, he decided as he drifted closer to full awakening. He felt as if he'd been cheated out of something, although he couldn't remember what it was.

"Moony?" asked a voice close to him.

He opened his eyes. Peter was leaning over him.

Remus groaned. "You are not the first thing I want to see in the morning, Wormtail," he said hoarsely.

Peter grinned. "He's fine."

"Good," said James' voice from somewhere nearby. Remus located him after a moment of looking, in the next bed to the right. He was looking anxious about something. "Moony – how much of last night do you remember?"

Remus thought back. "Not much," he said. "I was looking for Padfoot. And I went down the passage and told Wormtail to open it so we could go out – but we didn't, did we?"

James smiled, though it looked more like someone was forcing his lips back. "Actually..."

"We did," said Remus resignedly. "What went wrong?"

"Nothing," said Lily, startling him considerably, as he hadn't known she was there. "Luckily for everyone involved. But there are a few mysteries left to solve, and we were hoping you could shed some light on them."

Remus sat up and looked around. Lily was curled up at the foot of James' bed. Peter was now sitting on Evanie's bed, across the aisle from his own. Evanie herself was propped up in bed with pillows, but looked more or less well, as much as that was possible for a werewolf the day after full moon. Sirius was lying in the bed on his other side, seemingly still asleep, and Aletha was sitting cross-legged on the bottom of that bed.

Then the full impact of Lily's words hit him, and he turned to stare at her.

"We know, Remus," she said, looking squarely at him. "Letha and I both know now. And it doesn't matter – except that I rather wish you'd told us before this, we might have been able to help."

"As it was, we had to hear the full explanation before we understood exactly why Peter was so convinced that he couldn't take this to any of the teachers," Aletha took over the conversation. "But as far as we can tell, no one suffered for it. Regulus already left, he's perfectly fine, though Dumbledore will be having a word with him about what he should and shouldn't tell people."

"Regulus?" asked Remus in confusion. "Padfoot's brother? What does he have to do with anything?"

"He was out on the grounds last night," said Evanie. "When we were. We nearly attacked him." Her face was grim.

More flashes of memory came to Remus. The scent of prey – the prey's defender, the dark one, once a friend, now by his actions declared an enemy – closing in on the dark one with the female by his side, ready to attack, to kill –

He shook himself out of those thoughts, appalled.

"Nothing happened," said James quickly. "But I don't know why. Let me tell you what I saw?"

Remus nodded dumbly.

"Sirius stopped just you from attacking Regulus the first time," James began. "I was trying to control Evanie, until she took out one of my forelegs. Then she got away from me, and Sirius had you both stalking him. It was Peter who saved the day first."

"Really?" Remus looked at his mousy friend with interest.

"I bit her tail," said Peter, coloring up as James snickered. "I ran up her leg and bit it hard, and hung on."

"And I had no idea what was going on," Evanie said. "All I knew was that something hurt, and I had to get it off. I forgot all about the human."

"But – how did Sirius stop me?"

"He didn't," said James. "About the time Wormtail bit Evanie – you need a nickname," he said to the girl in an aside. "Anyway, about that time, there was a howl, but I don't think it was either of you. Actually, it can't have been, because you oriented on it, and it was coming from the Forest. You ran off that way without even looking back."

"That doesn't make sense," said Remus in confusion. "Nothing distracts a werewolf from human prey. Or, at least, nothing should."

"Evanie got rid of me about that time," said Peter. "She rammed Sirius and gave him a concussion. But I bit her paw and got her attention again before she could bite Regulus, and she started chasing me around."

"It was either desperation or genius," said James, "but Wormtail ran right under me. Evanie followed him, and I lay down fast, on top of her – pinned her flat. She couldn't get her teeth or claws into me, and she couldn't get away, so we just stayed that way until Padfoot came around and dragged Regulus into the castle. Then I let her up and got her back into the Shack, and then I went out to look for you."

"With a hurt foot?"

James shrugged. "Think of it as my punishment for being stupid enough to let you out in the first place. I have no idea what I was thinking."

"Or if you were thinking," said Lily acerbically.

"Touché. Anyway, I looked for you for at least an hour, but I couldn't find you anywhere, so I ended up going back to the Shack – and there you were, lying on the floor, polite as can be. You must have gone back in on your own somehow. Do you remember any of this? What you ran off after, or how you got back?"

"No," said Remus quickly. "Nothing."

"Nothing at all?"

"You know I never remember anything if I'm not with you."

James nodded. "True enough."

It was one of the only times Remus had ever lied to his friends. He remembered why he had run off into the Forest, all right – but it made no sense. It was impossible. Werewolves didn't think that way.

And the only other thing he remembered made so little sense that it had to be a dream.

He was running, chasing her. She might be playful, but he was stronger than she. He would run her to earth at last, and then he would have his way with her.

He bounded into a clearing and stopped. There she was, standing poised in the moonlight. It lit up her long fur, the clean sweep of her neck and head, her pricked ears and long straight tail.

She was beautiful. He was consumed with desire.

He started forward, snarling in such a way as to make it clear that he was the master here. He would have dominance over her, and take what he wanted, whether she would or no.

But she was faster than he had reckoned.

In an instant, she was over him, teeth fixed in his scruff, and shaking him like a mother would shake a cub. He tried to break away, and she shook harder, growling. Eventually he submitted.

As soon as he did, she released him and pranced around to his front, where she lay down and rolled onto her back. It was a clear invitation for him to dominate her, and he was confused. She had just proved her dominance over him – what was she doing, setting it up the other way?

But he took the invitation, standing over her and placing his jaws around her throat, holding them there with just enough pressure for her to feel it. She held very still until he had finished. Then she was rolling in the snow, whining in enjoyment, and giving him looks that meant Come join me.

As he did, understanding of a sort came to him. She wanted neither dominance nor submission from him – at least, not either all the time. She wanted something different. Something like a partnership.

A mating.

And even as he thought that, she rolled over and licked his muzzle, slowly, teasingly. She wasn't in heat, he could smell that, but there were games one could play even when no cubs would come...

But nothing happened. Nothing like that, anyway. We played a little more, then she took me back to the Shack – she used a stick in her teeth to freeze the Willow – and left. And then I don't remember anything else until this morning.

It has to have been a dream. I've had some strange ones before on full moon nights. Like the one I always used to have, about being swept out to sea by a riptide and nearly drowning – I haven't had that in a long time. Not since the others started coming.

"I don't remember anything," he repeated. "Not after running off into the Forest."

James sighed. "Well, whyever you did it, I'm bloody glad you did. It's probably all that kept this from being the biggest disaster of the year."

"No, it wasn't," said a raspy voice from Remus' left. "I could have taken him."

"BS," said at least three people at once.

"No kidding." Sirius opened his eyes. "Hey, Letha."

"Hey," she said, smiling at him with what looked suspiciously like tenderness. "You're going to be all right – feel like crap for a few days, but you'll recover."

"Thanks for the warning."

"I owe you a huge apology, Padfoot," said James from Remus' other side. "I screwed up even bigger than you did, and you saved all our butts."

"It's not me you need to apologize to," said Sirius in a sing-song tone.

"True." James sighed. "Moony – Evanie – Merlin, what can I even say?"

"Start with the basics," Remus advised.

"I'm sorry. I am so sorry." James even looked sorry, Remus noted. His face was pained and drawn. "That could have been the worst thing that ever happened to any of us – you could have killed Regulus, or been outed publicly – and it would have been all my fault."

"But it didn't happen," said Evanie. "No one died, a few people got hurt, and now we're all smarter."

"Just don't do it again," said Remus. "Ever."

"I won't. I swear." James smiled a little weakly. "Already swore to Lily. Now I'll swear it to all of you. I will never release a werewolf again."

"James Potter," said Peter suddenly, in a surprisingly good impression of Professor McGonagall. "How many times must I tell you – put the werewolves back where you found them when you're done playing with them!"

Madam Pomfrey emerged from her office to scold them all for laughing far too loudly.

Severus Snape looked up from his book as footsteps approached his table in the library. "Black," he said coldly.

"Snape." Sirius Black looked uncomfortable, which suited Severus just fine. "There's something I need to say to you."

"Speak."

"Alone."

Severus looked pointedly around the empty library. Even Madam Pince was absent, having gone to a staff meeting. They were most definitely alone.

"All right." Black took out his wand. Severus surreptitiously fingered his own, but all Black did was cast a Privacy Spell around them.

"I am listening," said Severus, leaning back in his chair.

"I'm... sorry. For telling you how to get into that passage. It was the dumbest thing I've ever done, and I've done a lot of dumb things."

No argument there.

"I don't like you, that's no secret, but I don't want you dead. I should have thought twice, or three times, or a hundred times, before I told you that. So I'm sorry."

Severus took care not to let his astonishment and gratification show. This was promising; perhaps he could milk it a bit. "I don't believe you," he sneered. "You'll have to do better than that."

"How do you mean?"

"On your knees, Black. If you truly mean what you're saying."

To his delight, Black slowly and apparently painfully went down on one knee. "I'm sorry," he started again.

"Both knees," said Severus sharply.

Black winced as he put weight on his other knee. Severus wondered idly if Lupin had injured him in some mad fit of werewolf rage.

"Now, begin again."

Black repeated his little speech.

Severus considered asking for it with the other lying prostrate, but decided to let it go. He would always have this moment. "You may rise," he said.

The expression on Black's face was gloriously sullen as he got to his feet.

"And if there is any retaliation for this," Severus warned, "full details of what you tried to do to me go straight to the Daily Prophet."

Black actually blanched. "You wouldn't," he said. "This is about me, don't drag Remus into it."

"As if he weren't involved." Severus looked down his nose at Black, which took some doing, since he was seated and Black was standing, but he managed it. "You cannot convince me that he knew nothing of this plan."

"Maybe not." Black lifted the Privacy Spell. "But it's the truth."

He turned and walked away, limping on his right leg.

Severus allowed himself a genuine smile, since no one was around to see him.

Sirius Black, on his knees begging for my forgiveness.

Which I never actually granted him.

Nothing can ruin this day.

He rose to leave the library and stopped at the sight of the person standing in the doorway.

"We need to talk."

(A/N: What is it with me and cliffies these days? Might I be trying to soften you up for a big one to come? And what does everyone think about pink plastic cups? Let me know – review! Oh yeah, I disclaim the one OotP quote in this chapter.)