Part 13: One Moment in Time
Summary:
A look at some of the quiet moments that defined the relationship between Janeway and Chakotay during their fifth year in the Delta Quadrant (J/C, CT)
Pairing:J/C, CT Rating: PG-13 Type of Story: ReflectiveLevel: 3
Part 13: One Moment in Time
The Future
He found it there frozen on the floor of her quarters. It must have been thrown on impact, and as it was, it was preserved. He picked it up and gently wiped the frost off of it as if he had found a treasure, or maybe a talisman. Chakotay felt as if he could channel his spirit through it. Maybe it was just the ship, being here again, finally finding her after all these years of searching and looking, it was like a dream.
But in some ways it was a nightmare. The halls that once housed a family, now housed the dead, and the not so dead. There were ghost here, floating about, not all at peace by how this had ended. He was one of them. Part of him remained here and his ghost will always be here, on this ship, on Voyager, until they did what they had set out to do 20 years ago. The voices of the ghosts were muted, voices that only he could hear, mingled together to form white noise. Except for one ghost. One ghost's voice could be heard loud and clear above the rest…..
"Get this crew home." It was his thought but he heard it in her voice.
Chakotay closed his eyes and concentrated. He could feel the engines underneath his feet, the way that he had for five years fifteen years ago. He could hear the muted voices of the crew as they went along the corridors and he could still feel her. Kathryn's energy, her spirit had always been a part of the ship even before it was lost and even then it was like a force of nature. Her spirit was especially strong here in the room that he was currently in. He moved around her quarters looking at the various artifacts that she kept there. He could feel her hovering, impatient, wanting him, wanting them to hurry up and get on with it. To do what he had promised her that he would do, to be at her side as she guided them through the Delta Quadrant. To help her get her crew home, to be there for her……
Always.
He brought he PADD that he had been holding in his hand to his mouth to make contact with it, intimate contact. It was cold, frozen, but he felt it warming up as his lips were blistering with the frost. He was infusing life into it, just as they would infuse life to this ship. He brought the PADD down to look at it. It was dark, the power cell on it burning out years ago. He didn't need to infuse the PADD with power to know what the most recent data file on it was. And he didn't need that knowledge to remember why it was here instead of in his quarters or in his office. He kept the memory alive for fifteen years, freezing in time how he was and how they were then.
The Past
The first thing he noticed were the candles, they were everywhere. Then there was the smell of dinner. He didn't think that they were going to have any so that when the smell confirmed it, it caught him off guard. It was a good thing that he was so intent on going over the data on the slip stream strive that he had missed dinner. He didn't think that they would be celebrating anything tonight.
"Commander, I hope you've got an appetite." Her voice seemed soft and relaxed, but he could hear the edge in her tone.
"Famished, but I assumed you called me here to talk about the slipstream flight." Chakotay was holding his own PADD with the information that he had just reviewed.
"No reason to cancel our dinner plans. I've programmed a dish my grandmother used to make back on Earth…vegetable biryani." He took his seat as Kathryn poured Terrilian Ale. She was really celebrating. The clarity of the beverage let him know that it wasn't replicated. She must have had some in storage.
"Sounds delicious. I didn't know you could cook."
"Normally, I draw the line at a pot of coffee, but tonight is a special occasion."
"Oh?" He didn't need to say it, he already knew what her answer was going to be
"Our last night in the Delta Quadrant. I'd say that's special enough," It was softly said, with Kathryn giving him a measured look. Chakotay didn't know why. He knew her and she knew him. He knew that whatever the risk of getting home, she would take it and in this her blind spot he would act as her voice of reason. Or at least he would try, if she would listen.
"You've made your decision." Matter of fact, resigned to what is to come.
"We launch tomorrow at 0800. You and Harry will take the Delta Flyer. Voyager will be right behind you."
"The crew will be pleased." That was the end of that, and he was hungry so he spread the napkin on his lap and began to look forward to his meal.
Kathryn rested her head on her elbows, her eyes never leaving him. "What about you, Chakotay? What do you think about my decision?" Her voice didn't increase, and she didn't seem to be preparing to battle with him. She was watching him, gauging him. Whatever she decided, she was the Captain, but he knew this was her blind spot. Kathryn for her part didn't care that this was the area in which she had made most of her mistakes. They were so close, too close to home for the first time in a long while and Kathryn could feel it. This was going to work. She was going to get them home. This wasn't beyond her and her crew. They had outsmarted the Borg and manipulated species 8472, what was one short flight. They would make it. They always have and they always will. She made it so. She didn't want to fight him like she did in during that period, but she knew him and he knew her.
Chakotay picked up his PADD. "I've analyzed Harry's flight plan. The theory is sound, but there are just too many variables. If something goes wrong in that slipstream..."
"It could be our only chance to use the quantum drive," Janeway reminds him.
"True, but if you showed this data to any Starfleet engineer they'd think we were out of our minds. We can find another way home. We've waited this long……" Always to bring her back. To be the contrary voice to what she wanted to do. To make her step back and to examine what she was doing, why she was doing it and how.
"Long enough," She hated this argument, because they had it so often. Sometimes it seemed to be the biggest ritual between them. But with 154 lives in the balance, it was a necessary ritual; a kind of safety protocol. It engaged every time she began taking what he considered extreme risks to get her crew home. "We've waited long enough. I know it's a risk...probably our biggest one yet...but I'm willing to take it."
"Are you with me?" Tentatively asked because she didn't want to be alone in this. When they got home, she didn't want to be the one to hold it over him that she was right and he was wrong. She wanted to be together with him for this. They had been through so much, worked together and apart. When they crossed the finished line, she wanted him to be at her side as he was in during the entire journey
In his gut, he wasn't, but there was something bigger at stake here. With no one to be hurt besides themselves if they failed, the risk was theirs and theirs alone. What was at stake now was not the fate of countless alien races, but the commitment that he made five years ago. That commitment resonated in his heart and it superseded his gut.
"Always." He placed the PADD on the table. It was over, tomorrow they would be home.
Kathryn let the tension out of her body slowly. No arguments, no disagreements, just quiet acceptance. He would be behind her as always. She got up and went around the table, her smile restrained, but her joy radiating outward, and whispered in his ear. "Speaking of risks...are you ready to try some home cooking?"
Chakotay smiled at her. "I'll alert Sickbay." Chakotay felt Kathryn touch his cheek briefly as she stared in his eyes and after a while she was gone. Chakotay stared at the viewport as she went to get dinner. He wondered what he would be doing tomorrow at that time. And what in his life to come would ever compare to the extraordinary journey he had made with this woman? Would he ever serve in the manner that he was serving now? It didn't matter. He had for five years and that was enough.