Chapter 17

Josh shifted restlessly in his seat. He hated this. This forced inactivity. The time to think about the situation at hand. Of the possibility of losing Donna. . . Groaning slightly he leaned his head back and closed his eyes only to groan slightly as his cell phone rang. "Lyman," he answered gruffly on the third ring.

"Sir you have a relay call. . ." the operator started.

"I know the drill. Go ahead and put her through," he interrupted tiredly.

"One moment please. . ." the operator replied as he heard the sounds of keys tapping and then her voice once again: "Thanks for the heads up."

"Sorry. Forgot," Josh muttered.

"So what's the story? The witch said something about a family emergency, not that I caught it. Does she ever look at anyone?"

Josh couldn't help but laugh at that, "You know that's why you have Kenny."

"Seriously, what's going on? The lesser of the witches looked fit to be tied when she stormed back into the office." Josh swallowed not knowing what to say in answer to that. Somehow, telling her would make it all too real. The silence continued till the voice cut through one more time: "Josh? You still there?"

"Yeah," he sighed as he leaned forward, elbows resting on his knees as he bowed his head. "There was some sort of accident. Donna's in the hospital. I'm on my way there now."

"How bad?"

"She's critical."

There was a pause and the words hung in the air. "How are you?"

Josh couldn't help but laugh bitterly at that, "how am I supposed to be?"

"You never told her did you?"

"Sometimes you're too damned perceptive, Joey."

"And you've always been an idiot where she's concerned, Josh."

"And your point would be?"

"Who saids I have a point?" the voice asked before a pause. "Don't get yourself too worked up. She sees you worried or looking like crap and it will make her feel worse and worry about you. Neither of which she needs."

"Don't you think I already know that?"

"Then get some rest before you dive in trying to save her."

"I only wish I had the power to."

"Hurts to realize you're not all powerful, doesn't it?"

"I know you meant that to be funny, but it's not. At least not right now."

"Fine. Just. . . well, let me know how she is. Contrary to popular belief I did like her."

"I think that went both ways."

"Hey, you can like your competition, just not let it show."

"It was never a competition."

"Because she already had your heart even if you were too stupid to realize it," he was told before a pause. "Try to get some rest."

"I will."

"Get some rest or keep me informed?"

"Joey. . ."

"That's what I thought."

"Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Get off my case will ya?"

"Someone has to be on it till Donna can again."

"Don't worry. There'll be people here to do the job."

"Give them my regards."

"Bye Joey."

"Bye Josh. . ." the operator started as he clicked the phone closed and contemplated throwing it before he leaned back again and let his arm fall limply at his side. Maybe she was right and he should rest a bit. He was tired--- no more than tired--- weary. Yeah that was it. Either way, closing his eyes to block things out couldn't hurt. It might even help him forget for a little while. Or better yet he'd wake up and find out it had all been a bad dream. . .

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She hated waiting rooms. That was the thought that repeated in her mind as she sat in the waiting room of a small private airport just outside of Pine Valley. But then her mind quickly amended that. What she hated was the waiting. Waiting gave her too much time to think, and during a crisis she didn't want to be thinking. She wanted to be doing.

Shifting uncomfortably in the plastic seat she stretched her long legs and leaned her head back so that it touched the wall and closed her eyes. As she tapped her foot she couldn't help but hear Toby's questions repeat in her mind: how was she acting? Did she seem different? Now. . . now all she could do was let her mind go back to that day as she wondered: had she missed something? Explained something away?. . .

CJ rolled her shoulders as she excused herself from Asa Buchannan and his latest wife. The ditz had been bad enough, but added to Buchannan's chauvinism. . . she gritted her teeth as she picked up a glass of champagne from a passing tray, amazed that she could hate anything more than state dinners. Well, she could. And they were ironically enough called Presidents Receptions.

As she downed the glass she tried to find an out, her eyes stopping on a figure arguing with one of the organizers Well, it has to be better than Buchannan. At least I should escape being called 'Little Darlin' ' she thought as she headed over.

"Look, I told you if you'd just ask. . ." CJ heard the blonde with her back to her say as she reached them.

"Ms. Cregg is far too busy. . ." Nora Gannon started.

"To what?" CJ asked as she came to a stop behind them, staring down the shorter woman who had annoyed her to no end the last few hours.

"Well, I was just. . ." Nora started as the other woman turned. "Hi CJ," she said softly, clearly embarrassed by the situation at hand.

"Donna!" CJ laughed, surprised as she impulsively hugged the younger woman, then as she stepped back added: "What in the world are you doing here?"

"Well. . ." Donna started as Nora cut in: "You actually know her?"

"I tried to tell you," Donna shrugged as CJ rolled her eyes.

"Nora, if you'll excuse us," she said dismissively as she signaled to Donna who fell into step beside her. "Was that what you two were arguing about?"

"She didn't believe that I knew you, so I asked her to just get you to verify that I did. She wouldn't. Guess she thought I was some rabid fan or something."

"Puh-lease, the only one with rabid fans was Josh," CJ laughed as they slid seamlessly into a corner. "So what are you doing here?"

"Well, one of my poly sci Professors was telling the class about your lecture here. . ."

"Really?"

"Actually he was rampaging about the fact that PCU couldn't seem to get some one of your caliber and LVU could. Anyway, I had a day off coming and thought I'd drive down and try to catch the spiel."

"Well, I'm glad you did. It's been a while since we chatted, or I had an intelligent conversation with a college student."

"That bad?" Donna asked.

"You have no idea," CJ said on a long suffering sigh.

"Remind me to introduce you to my study group then," Donna deadpanned earning a slight laugh from the older woman.

"Let's just get out of here and find some place where we can catch up."

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Half an hour later CJ walked out of the bedroom of the hotel suite she was staying in dressed in a more causal pair of slacks and shirt to see Donna closing the door on a bellhop. "You didn't have to arrange this. We could've found someplace."

Donna shrugged, "it's not like it's the first time I've ordered for you," she said as she handed CJ her dinner and picked up her own.

"That's not what I meant," CJ sighed as they moved towards the bed to sit on it and ear.

"I know," Donna sighed. "I'm just not in the mood to put on appearances," she added earning a slight frown from CJ. Shifting uncomfortably, Donna decided to change gears. "Nice ring," she commented grasping for the first straw she could.

"I happen to like it," CJ demurred as she unconsciously ran a finger over the ring on her right hand.

"Sure it's on the right hand?" CJ's eyes widened slightly as she coughed on the mouthful of wine she had just taken, causing Donna to grin slightly. "How is Toby anyway?"

"How's Josh?" CJ shot back, earning an eye roll which caused her to laugh. "And Toby was fine the last time I spoke to him."

"Well, last time I spoke to Josh's mother so was he."

"You haven't spoken to him recently?"

"Does voicemail count?" Donna asked then shrugged as she speared a piece of chicken. "Besides, you know how Josh is."

"But I thought. . ." CJ started but then trailed off shaking her head as she tried to remind herself that it wasn't her job to explain them to anyone any more.

"Thought what?"

"Ummm, nothing. So do you talk to any of them?"

"Charlie and I exchange e-mails. Most of them tend to be comparisons between what our Professors are teaching us and what we learned in practice. Sam on occasion. When he's not too busy with a case. He's supposed to come up one weekend, but. . ." Donna shrugged as she took a bite of a french fry. "He's been saying that and canceling for the last month, so I'm not holding my breath."

"Well, he won't even return my calls."

Donna smiled slightly at that, "CJ, do you really think that any of us can keep up with your schedule enough to return your calls?"

"Toby does."

"You really want me to ask, don't you?"

"We're friends, Donna."

"AH huh," she replied unconvinced as took a sip from her own glass of wine.

"So you hear who Leo's dating?" CJ asked wanting to change the subject.

"Mal called me at two in the morning the night she found out to tell me," Donna replied with a shake of her head.

"Leo said she wasn't taking it too well when I saw him last week."

"Let's put it this way, Leo took her dating Sam better although Mal's more subtle in how she lets her displeasure be known."

"More subtle than. . ." CJ started as she went into a story of one of Leo's paybacks.

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Half an hour later they sat laughing over remembrances although Donna had grown more subdued at CJ's comments on Josh's reaction to one of the 'local gomers' she had gone out with. As she caught Donna's stillness CJ's demeanor changed as well, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"Donna. . ." CJ said in a tone Donna knew meant she wouldn't be put off.

"It's just. . . Is my taste in men really that bad? Do I just naturally attract losers?" she asked surprising CJ.

"They were bad, but not that bad. I dated worse." CJ shrugged.

"I. . .it's. . ." Donna shook her head, trying to figure out how to broach the subject of AJ.

"Donna, what's going on?" CJ asked as a knock sounded on the door. Turning slightly, Donna rubbed her eyes with the backs of her hands. "Get the door, CJ."

"Trying to give me orders?" CJ teased as she rose, hoping to get rid of whomever it was quickly. The hope was dashed when she opened it to see Rae Cummings and Nora Gannon on the other end. "We were wondering where you disappeared to," Nora said testily.

"I just bet," CJ replied evenly, fighting the urge to roll her eyes.

"We wanted to make sure you got to the party at Asa's OK," Rae put in.

"Actually," CJ started as Donna approached, her coat already half on and purse in hand. "It's OK, CJ. I've take up enough of your time."

"Donna, wait."

"Tell Toby I said hi when you talk to him. If you're up by Port Charles call me. I'll try to track you down," she said, the joke forced as she started to slip out.

"We were in the middle of something," CJ commented pointedly to the other two women.

"It's OK, CJ. IT really doesn't matter. You have more important things to worry about than me. All of you do," Donna sighed cynically as she slipped out of the room and hurried down the hall, leaving CJ to wonder about what she meant.

The sound of her name and the touch of a familiar hand on her cheek brought her out of the memory. She swallowed back the pain as she looked into Toby's concerned eyes. "She needed help and I didn't even realize it, Toby," she started in way of explanation.

"CJ. . ."

"No. She was close to asking for it that day, but we were interrupted. I should've picked up on it, Toby. Hell, in a way I did! I should've pushed her to tell me."

"It wasn't your fault."

"Wasn't it? I could yell and fight for women in Qumar but not see that there was more to her questions about her taste in men? Toby, I told her I had dated worse."

"You had."

"That's not the point," CJ sighed as she straightened up and ran a worried hand through her hair. "You know why she didn't tell anyone? She said we had more important things to worry about!"

Toby's face registered surprise before he quickly masked it. "We'll get to the bottom of this. We'll fix it."

"Not everything can be fixed. Not even by us. We're not invincible."

"No, but we're one hell of a team," he said as he rose to his feet.

"Toby. . ."

"She's important CJ," he started as he looked down at her. "We can remind her of that at least," he sighed as he closed his eyes momentarily against the pang of guilt he felt. Hadn't he just had his secretary send her flowers for her birthday? He hadn't even taken the time to write a note to go with them.

"If we get the chance," CJ sighed.

"We will."

"And what if we don't? What then, Toby? What then?"