Written: 6/23/05
Word Count: 100, 200, 200
Rating: K+ all the way through
Plays: Romeo and Juliet, Two Noble Kinsmen, and all the comedies
Notes: Non-challenge drabbles. Balantly ripped off from the Reduced Shakespeare Company, and just in general abuse of the Bard. Chernobyl was a town in the former Soviet Union that had an accient involving a nuclear reactor meltdown. Not a pretty thing.
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"This is ridiculous, Hakkai."
"What? Romeo and Juliet? It's one of the best-known and most tragic plays ever written."
"But it's stupid!"
"Do tell."
"Well to start off, they're not even fourteen!"
"So?"
"So, they got married after what, a day? Two?"
"People often confuse lust with love."
"What about killing themselves when they think the other is dead?"
"It's romantic, the idea that they couldn't live without each other."
"It's stupid. I'm glad they died. Imagine what their kids would have been like!"
"I don't think it's possible to be stupider than you."
"Shut up, kappa!"
"Now, now"
---
"Goku! Are you even paying attention?"
The demon jerked up from behind his book and smiled sheepishly at Hakkai. "Yes."
"Really?" The emerald-eyed tutor crossed his arms. "What are we studying?"
Sanzo's glare over the newspaper was not phased by reading glasses. Goku gulped. "Something Kinsmen."
"What Kinsmen?"
Damn it, monkey, think! "Uh... Cher... nobyl. Yeah, that's it. Chernobyl Kinsmen."
Amethyst and emerald exchanged looks. "What is Chernobyl Kinsmen about?"
"It's a geopolitical play."
Brunette eyebrows shot up to Hakkai's hairline. He wasn't expecting that. "A what?"
"Geopolitical play. I enjoy Shakespeare's geopolitical plays."
"Really now?"
"Yeah. Chernobyl Kinsmen was way ahead of its time."
Hakkai bit his bottom lip to keep from laughing.
Sanzo put the paper aside, focusing his attention on Goku. "Continue."
Goku racked his brains for everything Hakkai had taught him about geography. "It's a play... about nuclear power usage in the former Soviet Union."
Sanzo stood and crossed the room.
THWACK.
"Damn it, Sanzo, what was that for!"
"You stupid chimp, TWO NOBLE KINSMEN is about a girl who goes insane with the fear that her boyfriend is going to be eaten by wolves and her father hanged."
Pause. "And was Boris Yeltsin in it?"
"NO"
---
"Hey,
Hakkai? No offense, but these are all really confusing. I mean, even
the titles are strange. Much Ado About Nothing, how can nothing be such
a big deal? And what about As You Like It? What, did Shakespeare just
go, 'Here guys, if you don't like it, screw you'?"
"Hey monkey, I got a secret for you. Shakespeare used the same plot devices for all his comedies."
"Really Gojyo?"
"Yup. You see, originally, he wrote one big play, then milked them into sixteen."
"You're kidding."
"Wanna know the original title?"
A brunette head nodded furiously.
"The Story of Two Well-Measured Gentlemen Lost In The Merry Wives of Winsor On A Midsummer's Twelfth Night In Winter."
"Wow, Gojyo, that's a mouthful."
"It's got another title too."
"What is it?"
"Pericles Taming The Tempest of Love As Much As You Like It For Nothing."
"I don't think I'll be able to remember all of that."
"You could just call it by it's common name, though. It's really short, even you could remember it."
"A-ha."
"Oh, you don't want to know it?"
"Pleeeeeeeeeeease, Gojyo!"
"Three Weddings And A Transvestite."
Hakkai hit Gojyo over the head with his textbook. "Ignore him, Goku"
---