Title: A Hunting They Will Go
Author: Jaygoose
Rating: PG-13
Characters Claimed: Brutter, Grim, and Pecker
Pairings involved: None… Oh god. No. Just… No. Oh yeah, but there is a brief mentioning of some Torn/Ashelin
Warnings: Stupidity. And lots of it. And some mild cussing on Pecker's part. /grins/
Short description: The annual Haven City scavenger hunt is on and sadly it doesn't look like Pecker will be getting the prize again this year. Oh and yes, I'm definitely going to hell this time. Um… yep. This is for Sdroid's "Random Pick Challenge".
Sweaty, grimy, thin fingers griped the edge of the map while bigger, thicker, furrier fingers griped the other side.
"Me just no understand dis thing. What you think, friend?"
"Uh… I don' get it neither. That 'X' there means we're suppose ta be here, I think, but I don' know where here is?"
"Oh for the love of… Ark! You two wouldn't know where your /squawk/ asses were if they didn't itch from time to time!" Pecker finally erupted. "How does this keep happening to me? Every year it's the same thing!"
"No worry, friend Pecker. Brutter figure everything out even if kills him."
The monkaw rolled his eyes. "It just might, buddy. Ark! It just might."
Grim snickered.
"And just what do you find so funny, genius?" Pecker asked.
The monkaw had settled on the top of Grim's head. Using the man's helmet as a perch, he was leaning over now staring the man right in the face with a frown firmly in place. This was the second year in a row he'd ended up on Grim's team and the tall Ex-KG was still just as useless as he remembered.
"Maybe if you took off this /squawk/ ridiculous helmet, you'd be able to read the damn map!"
"Oh no, no. I couldn' do that. This here is my lucky helmet. If I don' wear this there's no tellin' what could go wrong."
Grim nodded sagely at this and went back to putting all his effort into deciphering the dastardly map. It seemed every year these things got more and more confusing. Sweat beaded on his brow, not that anyone could tell but it was there, and his tongue peaked out of the corner of his mouth. Yes, Grimly S. Murdock was the perfect picture of intense concentration.
"What about you fuzzy?" Pecker said. "Got anything?"
"Oh yes, friend Pecker, Brutter now know 'xactly where we be!"
The lurker was so proud. So much so that Pecker had even had a brief thought of not crushing his fuzzy hopes and dreams. But then again, this was Pecker we were talking about.
"Of course we already know… Ark! …where we are, you idiot! We are in the stinky, filthy, nat infested port of glorious… Ark! Haven City. And we are trying to find the first item on this blasted list of crap!"
"Oh, yeah." Grim nodded enthusiastically. "We're 'posta find sumthin' 'bright an' round an' not easily found'."
"Oh for Precursor's sake!" Pecker groaned. "Who wrote these /squawk/ 'ing clues this year?"
oo0oo
"I don't know about this Ashe." Jak muttered. "I don't think I'm the best person to write the Scavenger hunt clues this year. I'm not real good when it comes to riddles. Or writing. Or um… stuff that involves thinking ahead."
"Just write the damned clues Jak so we can get the hell out of here!" Torn growled.
"Yeah, Blondie." Ashelin added as she wiggled to make herself more comfortable on the tattooed commander's lap.
oo0oo
"Wow, I know, right." Grim said, mouth wide in unadulterated awe. "These are some tough ones. Who ever wrote these has got ta be some genius or sumthin'."
Pecker just stared.
"No, no, tall friend Grim." Brutter chuckled. "Is very simple. Round is like a ball, no? So bright is like sun. So if we turn west an' stare direct at round sun den answer should come to our brains, no?"
And then Pecker's mouth nearly dropped to the ground, as he watched Grim and Brutter turn west in search of the answers that eluded them, which according to Brutter lay in the sun itself.
"Ow!" Grim whimpered. "How long is it gonna take?"
"Oh /squawk/ this!" Pecker said jumping into the air and taking off. "You guys have got to be the dumbest…"
But before he could finish his sentence a speeding zoomer clipped him.
"Watch it, bent beak!" A familiar voice yelled.
Pecker righted himself in mid air and glared in the direction of the now hovering zoomer and into the beady eyes of his arch nemesis.
"Daxter." He growled low in his throat.
"How's scavenging, feather brain?"
The ottsel was balancing something 'bright and round and not easily found' in the palm of one of his hands and was perched atop the massive shoulder of Sig. On the other side of the zoomer steering the vehicle was that mechanic girl.
"Opps, sorry about that Pecker. I didn't see you there." Keira blushed prettily.
The monkaw opened his mouth to reply but was cut off once again.
"Sorry, we can't sit around and chat but me and my crew got some more junk to scrounge up." The ottsel cut his eyes over to the tall man and the huge lurker that were still staring at the sun. "Look's like y'got a doozey of a crew there yourself." Dax chuckled. "Real masterminds I'm bettin'. Don't want y'guys getting' the better of us. So I guess we'll be off."
The zoomer was gone before the monkaw had a chance to counter the verbal attack, but it did keep him from trying.
"Ark! Well, you just watch your back rat boy! Because…"
Why did he even bother? He begrudgingly flew back down to his temporary perch atop Grim's head and squinted in attempt to shield his eyes from the sun, o' keeper of all the answers.
Who was he kiddin'. He was doomed.