A/N: Well, I haven't updated in eons, I know. But we got a new computer, and so my dad told us to save all our files from the old one on floppies. And then what did the old man forget to do? Order a floppy drive on the new computer? Exactly!

(growls in irritation)

But we got a floppy drive for Christmas! Yay! So now I can go on an updating splurge! Enjoy!

"Robert has gathered allies to himself." I spit wine out of my goblet and all over my new blue gown, feeling the hot red liquid dribble uncouthly down my chin. William of Gamwell, glorious in all his perfection, blinked a few times in surprise at my lack of manners. I simpered and dabbed the corners of my excessively lengthy sleeves against my chin, salvaging what little delicacy I could. He shrugged and arched an eyebrow. "Does this surprise you?"

I shook my head. "Robert is always drawing people to him," I replied, letting my light arm rest coquettishly against his own. He peered curiously down at it for a moment, as if considering how fine it was, and then quickly removed his own arm and stood. I allowed myself a slight purse of the lips, and then regained my former glittering smile. No man turned me down. I was the most gorgeous girl in the shire, and he was going to know it soon. I sidled slowly towards him, forcing my hips to sway as I placed one foot in front of the other. He would be mine. "Do you miss him?" I asked. Robert and William were very close friends (though not boy-lovers, thank God), so Robert's foolish venture was a lovely way to start conversation.

I let my head rest suggestively against his strong shoulder, satisfied by the superior height that was so lacking in Robert. "For I do," I murmured, gliding my fingers through his hair and closing both eyes, letting my lower lip tremble ever so slightly. If this didn't get him, I'd have to resort to some serious courtship effort.

William nodded deliberately, Adam's apple quivering deliciously. "That I do. Robert is forever doing foolish things to cause himself problems." He tried to ease himself from my lean, but I clutched his shoulder vehemently, letting my hair trail into my eyes. "So unlike yourself," I whispered, smiling rakishly at the surprise in his eyes. Innocence looked so very good on him.

He suddenly ducked down, and I tripped over his hunched form, knocking my chin against the wall. Will, in an extreme show of rudeness, pretended to be searching for something while I righted myself. Well, this was an unexpected turn. But I was not so easily dissuaded. I was gorgeous and brilliant and witty and, well – I was me. No matter his loyalty to Robert, I was Marian of Whitby. He'd have to be queer to resist my charms for long. And we had all day to go at this.

"Pardon, milady, but are you saying you disapprove?" He blinked in false surprise, hands folded behind his back. An innocent smile played at the corners of his lips. My mouth dropped open. The weasel. The handsome, strong, masculine little weasel! He was acting! Play-acting! I grit my teeth, feeling my eyebrow twitch. Did he think he could fool me? Oh, bring it ON, lord's son. You have no idea who you're up against. I've had competition; you're obviously used to being the one and only liar in your house. His pride would be his downfall.

I brushed my unkempt hair from my face. "I – well, I disapprove in a way, you understand. My dear Robert places himself in such dire danger." I pursed my lips and dropped my head, sighing disconsolately at my feet. William frowned, crossing his arms. He didn't like being played for a fool. I felt a grin spread across my face. Something competitive was gnawing at me, and a plan began to form. I didn't have to watch Robert; someone else could. Someone who was also wealthy…

"I – I also worry for him, milady," he replied cautiously, "but I do believe the peasants of Nottinghamshire deserve his aid." My head darted towards him, and I forced a delicate tear from my eye. "And would you join him if asked?"

He eyed my suspiciously, but then nodded. There was the "protective best friend" act to keep up, after all. He thought he could use it as an excuse to stop my advances. After all, what kind of friend would steal his buddy's love interest? It would seem all went in his favor.

SUCKER.

I grinned adoringly at my fellow noble. "Then I must make a request – would you watch over my Robert? You are not related to him, I understand, but since you are both such good friends…" William's chin nearly met his chest (the latter of which I had been staring at in fascination). But he saw the glint in my eye – a professional challenge. His eyebrow convulsed once – only once, I give him credit – but then he met my eyes, solemn promise acted out brilliantly in them.

"That I will."

A wry conqueror's smirk lit the corner of my lips.

Oh William, that would be peachy.

Just ever-so peachy.