Chapter 38

Toby shrugged out of his suit jacket as the door to what had been Tiffany's office closed behind the security guard who had showed him the way, wondering why the man even bothered as he took in the office whose one wall was made of glass.  "All I need is Sam across the way," he muttered as he sat in the chair and reached for his briefcase, putting the laptop on the desk as he rolled his neck, hoping to ease some of the tension forming in the muscles there.  Once his laptop was set up, he rose and went to turn out the main light.  He always worked better in a darkened room, and he had a lot of work to get done.  There were the faxes from INN lying on the desk for him to read and probably an inbox full of e-mails.  He had a handful of calls to make to ensure that things in DC were running smoothly.  And then there was the research he needed to do. But before all that, he had a call to make.

Sullenly he sat down at the desk and pulled his phonebook up on the computer screen before reaching for the phone.  With the phone between shoulder and ear he quickly dialed the number, rolling up his sleeves as he waited for an answer, his eyes going to a clock above the door to check if it was too late to have tried to make the call.  No, he thought, it wasn't.  It just felt like the day was never ending because of all that was going on. 

"What?" an annoyed voice answered.

"And a good evening to you too," Toby shot back as he swiveled in his chair and grabbed one of his rubber stress balls from his briefcase.

"You know I don't hear from you in g-d knows how long, only to get two calls from you in one day.  Tell me, do you just do this to be thoroughly annoying or what?"

"Is it working?" he asked as he turned the chair to an actual wall and released the ball in its direction.

"What do you think?" the voice groused. 

"I wanted to thank you for your hospitality," he said as he caught and released the ball automatically.

"That couldn't wait till morning?"

"Since when do you go to bed so early?"

"I don't.  My daughter does.  I was in the middle of reading her a story when someone decided to annoy me with the phone."

"Should've had your answering machine on."

"I'll remember that the next time you harass me," she sighed in exasperation.  "Which you are doing you know.  I suppose to you have a better reason then your eternal thanks for calling me?"

"Now, Tiffany, I haven't offered my eternal thanks up to you yet."

"Ok, what do you want?"

"Who saids I want anything?"

"How stupid do you think I am?" she laughed.  "What else do you need, or are you backing out of our deal.  Because let me tell you, if you do you aren't going to like the results."

"And you're in a place to make me pay?"

"Whose studio are you sitting in, there?"

"Point taken.  And I really do appreciate it."

"Good.  Now drop the other shoe."

"Tiffany. . ."

"Now, Toby."

"G-d, talking to you is frighteningly like talking to CJ sometimes."

"Why thank you."

"I didn't necessarily mean that as a compliment."

"I'll be sure to tell her that."

Toby groaned, but didn't retort, knowing one would more than likely get him into even more trouble.  "So, moving on," he said, unconsciously quoting the former President, "you're right.  I do need something else."

"Repeat that would you?"

"Repeat what?"

"That part about me being right."

"You apparently already heard it so why would I have to repeat it?" he shot back.

"Just wanted to make sure I heard it right."

"Sure."

"So what is it you need from me?"

"Actually it's not necessarily you I need something from."

"Then why are you talking to me?"

"Because I was hoping I could use your husband."

"Now that just sounds wrong."

"As do a lot of things," Toby replied dryly.  "But I'm serious here.  I'm interested in hiring him, and I need you to help convince him to let me."

"Whoa, did you just say hire him?"

"Would it just be easier to tape this conversation so you can play it back? Yes, that's what I said."

"He's retired."

"From what I heard he still consults."

"Which I hate," Tiffany groused. 

"And this will be a hell of a late safer then anything they involve him in.  I just need help gathering some information and since you two already know most of the players," he shrugged, letting his words sink in, knowing that Tiffany's curiosity would probably get the best of her.

"This have anything to do with what you're doing in Port Charles?"

"Everything."

"I thought you said that some 'former aide' was in the hospital."

"I actually said a friend was."

"And they happened to have been a former aide," she pushed.

"Yes, she did."

"She huh?" Tiffany couldn't help but tease.

"Don't even go there.  She's the younger sister I didn't have alright?"

"Whoa there, Tobias.  What is going on?"

"I'm not talking about it on a phone."

"Years in the White House make you a little paranoid there?"

"In this situation I think erring to the side of caution is called for."

Tiffany sighed into the phone as she heard the door to her daughter's room close and Sean's voice wishing the young girl a good night, turning slightly to watch his progress down the hall she couldn't help but ask Toby the question he knew she wouldn't be able to resist: "who do you want help getting information on?"

"The Quartermains."

"And you said there wouldn't be a story?" Tiffany asked, not quite surprised. After all, if there was trouble brewing in Port Charles there were only a couple of suspects as to who could be causing it.

"Who's that?" Sean asked as he sat on the couch.

Putting up a finger she turned towards him. "And before you say anything else, hold the thought.  Sean just walked into the room," she explained before covering the mouth piece and looking at her husband.  "Believe it or not, Toby Ziegler.  Aside from thanking me for lending him the use of WLPC, he wanted me to talk to you about taking on a job for him."

"Doesn't Andi have security of her own?" Sean asked after a moment, coming up with the only reason he could for Ziegler wanting to hire him.

"Oh, this has nothing to do with Andi.  He wants to hire you to gather some information.  Hasn't told me why.  All I know is it has to do with a friend of his who's in the hospital."

"What sort of information?"

"The sort that's on the Quartermains."

Sean looked at his wife in surprise as he whistled under his breathe, "Guess they're still winning friends and influencing people," he muttered.  "Tell him I need a reason before I'll do it," he shrugged.

Nodding she removed her hand from the mouthpiece: "Toby, he'll consider it.  He just wants more of a reason."

Back in the office at WLPC Toby nodded slightly, having had gathered as much from the muffled voices he'd over heard.  "Like I said I don't want to do it over the phone.  Considering who I'm asking about I'm sure you understand."

"Yeah.  So how do you want to do it then?"

Toby scratched his head for a moment mulling over the possibilities.  "I guess the easiest thing would be for me to come up there, huh?"

"Probably."

"I want to get this done as soon as possible.  Tomorrow sound good?" he asked.

"If you can arrange it."

"I'll find away to.  I'll call you and let you know the details," he said, then belated added: "think you two will be able to clear the time?"

"For this.  Definitely."

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Tony Jones shrugged into his lab coat before moving to his desk and reaching for his glasses and the file he had on Donna Moss, wondering how one woman could cause so much trouble.  Sinking into his chair he shook his head at the thought.  In truth, he knew that what was happening more than likely wasn't her fault or, at the least, what she had intended. 

Sighing, he leaned back and looked up at the ceiling, trying to get his thoughts together.  True, he didn't know her that well.  Hell, all he really knew about her was that she was friends with Carly and had attended The Nurse's Ball as Chris Ramsey's date, neither of which were strong character references in his book, and yet. . . well, there was just something about her that he had liked the few times he had met her.  Something in the way she held herself, or smiled, he wasn't sure what. 

Besides, even if she had done something to lead AJ on, well, she didn't deserve the other.  Closing his eyes as he inhaled and exhaled a couple of times, Tony straightened in his seat, and looked back at the file.  He couldn't stop the tests from being postponed, insurance papers from being misprocessed or other papers from disappearing, but he could do his duty as a doctor and make sure that she got the proper medical care when he could.

iBut what about your promise to Bobbie?/i an inner voice seemed to mock him.  iDon't the two contradict each other? How do you hide what she might have done--- might do--- and still do your duty as a doctor? /i

And he knew there in lied his dilemma, because he had no answer to the voice.  To what he would do if he had to choose between the welfare of his patient and the woman who had been his best friend and wife. . .

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Jason sighed as he used his keys to unlock the door to the house he lived in.  No, not his home, he thought, because he didn't think he had ever had one.  Or at least not in a long time at any rate.  He knew Jason Quartermain had had one, but he couldn't remember that, and in truth didn't want to contemplate it.  He hated not being able to remember that life at times.  In truth that was actually why he held so much contempt for the family, because they could and wouldn't accept that he couldn't, or rather, wouldn't stop trying to give the memories back to him through their distorted ones.

Closing the door behind him, he tried to think of a time when he felt at home somewhere.  Sure he had made places for himself.  With Sonny.  With Carly. . . he laughed hollowly at that as he threw his keys onto a nearby table and started to pull of his leather jacket.  Who'd have believed that one? But he did, and from the few sessions that Elizabeth had talked him into attending with Kevin Collins he knew the reason was because she accepted him as was.  She didn't try to find the remnants of a man he used to be because she had never met that man before, but she wasn't right for him.  They both knew that.  They both used each other over the years.  Both took and gave what no one else could at the time. Both trying to help the other find and keep the dreams they wouldn't share with people, and usually sacrificing others in the process.  Dreams like Robin. . .

Shaking his head he threw his jacket onto a chair and started to pace.  He knew he couldn't really blame Carly for Robin. He had made his decisions.  That's something no one got.  Although from a recent letter, it seemed that Robin just might be starting too. . .

Whatever the case it was the truth.  He had chosen to take responsibility for Michael because he represented what he had wanted.  Secretly dreamed of.  A family. 

Of course part of him had truly wanted it with Robin, but she wasn't there at the time and it seemed karmic to take it when Carly offered it to him.  To ensure them both of the dream they wanted.  To have someone to love unconditionally and who would return that love. But his love for Robin was always there, and they were given another chance.

True, he hated things she had done.  Like testifying for Tony, but he couldn't have hated her, and then, while Carly was in Ferncliff, his dream had shifted and it seemed like he had everything.  Because for a while fantasy took over and he and Robin and Michael were a family.  And THEIR dream was the reality. 

Of course he should've known that Carly would fight for hers.

And he now realized that Robin had been doing the same.

Both fought dirty.

Both caused more pain then anything else, although Robin had used the most damaging artillery when she had told AJ the truth. 

A truth that they were all still reeling from.

And yet, he still loved her. . .

Collapsing onto a couch, he reached for a pillow and held it, trying to figure out where his mind was going and why?

Maybe it was the whole mess going on around them.

The fact that he saw himself changing more and more to be the man that Liz wanted him to be instead of whom he really was.

There were lots of signs, he knew now.  The forced visits with the Quartermains. The catalogues from PCU with his name on them. Cutting Sonny out of his life more and more.  The accusations he now threw at Carly without thinking.  The words that were everyone else's but his.

Sitting up straighter he couldn't help but replay the day's events.

Carly's reaction to his words.

Liz's to Alexis taking Michael elsewhere--- how she couldn't accept the restraints Carly put up where Michael was concerned, even if someone like Alexis, or even Angel Ellis, had been able to.  Her own words about and to Carly.

For so long he had looked at them as a rehash of Robin and Carly, that he never really considered it.  No, he now realized, this was worse.  Because the damage wasn't the same.  The damage was more than he had bargained on. 

"What the hell am I doing?" he wondered out loud as he looked around the living room.  Pictures he could barely comprehend, but made himself try to, stared back at him from the walls as footsteps sounded down the stairs.

"Hey, I thought I heard you drive up.  Did you find AJ?" Elizabeth asked as she came up behind him and wrapped her arms around him.

"Yeah.  He was passed out at Jake's."

"Well considering the mess Carly and her little friend started I'm not surprised," she said as she nuzzled his neck and he pulled away.  "What's wrong?"

"Why are you so sure that it's their fault?" he asked her as he turned to face her.

"Oh come on Jason. You know how Carly is, she'd do anything to keep Michael.  You know what Sonny did to AJ to get him to sign over his rights.  I mean, I still can't comprehend how you won't help your family get that over turned."

"We're not talking about that.  We're talking about why you're blaming them."

"So was I.  Jason, no matter how doe eyed that woman seemed she is not some innocent.  I mean, she's friends with Carly for pete's sake! That should tell you something right there!"

"Really, what does it tell you about me?"

"What?"

"I'm friends with Carly.  So tell me, Elizabeth, what does it tell you about me."

"You're civil with her.  There's a difference.  I mean, you've gotten past her manipulations, or at least I thought you had."

Jason frowned at that as he got to his feet, "Maybe it's not her manipulations that I need to get past," he muttered.

"What was that?" Liz asked indignantly as she put her hands on her hips.

"Never mind," Jason responded as he shrugged into his jacket.

"Where do you think you're going?"

"Since when do I need to give you my itinerary?" he asked as he pulled the jacket into place and glared at her.

"Don't do this.  Don't let what they're doing to AJ ruin what we have," she pleaded through tears.

Sighing Jason looked down and zipped his coat, "I'm going to get some answers."

"Let me help you find them," she said simply as she crossed the room and placed a hand on his arm.

"Can you tell me who Dawn is or was?" he asked, at her puzzled frown, he pulled away from her touch.  "That's what I thought.  Don't wait up," he added as he spun around and grabbed for the keys he left on the table by the door.

As he opened it, he couldn't remember something else from that day. 
From when he had gone back intending to apologize to Carly for his comments about Michael only to find her discussing him with Sonny, the words he had over heard still surprising him: "iI really wish Robin would come back to town and they would get back together. . ./i"

Getting onto his bike he reached for his helmet, wondering why they had gotten him so much.  Perhaps because she had unknowingly spoken to one of his dreams. . .

Tightening the chin strap, he looked at the house, catching Liz in the window.  "Maybe I'm still living fantasies instead of dreams," he muttered as he started the bike and took off down the drive, looking for answers to more than who Dawn was. . .