Sorry about the delay in getting these chapters out, but along with writing them I was working on a character list.  If any one is interested in getting a copy of it, please e-mail me.  I don't want to interrupt the flow of the story by posting it in the middle.

Thanks for your continued support in this endeavor.

MissDevon

Chapter 46

Edward poured himself a drink at the bar of the family room.  Recapping the crystal decanter, he put it to the side and picked up the glass, turning away from the wet bar as he took a sip and looked around the room.  Shaking his head, he started to walk slowly towards the patio doors, well aware that a drink wouldn't change anything.

Nothing would.

He came to a stop just before the patio doors and gazed out, hoping to chase away the ghosts chasing around his mind.  Staring at the garden that was dimly lit, he couldn't help but wonder when he had become the man that was reflected back at him through the glass.  When had he become a distorted image of what was? A man who would let someone be hurt and put the bottom line ahead of someone's life.

Drinking deeply, he couldn't help but think that if things were different.  If it had been Emily who had been hurt he'd be out for blood.  He could understand the need for it, and yet he was helping to perpetrate the crime that had been committed against that young woman.

He had no choice but to.

AJ was his grandson no matter what and he'd always protected his family--- that's the story he'd stick to.

Only it was more than that.

He had things to make up for.

He had played a part in making AJ the way he was, he might never admit it to anyone, but he knew it in his heart. And while he would make it seem like his motivation was ELQ, it wasn't.

His motivation was quilt.

He had to help AJ now because of all the times he had failed him in the past.

Because it would hurt Lila too much if he couldn't now.

Because it would break his heart too.

He understood they point of view of the people he was at counter purposes with, but he knew that they would never understand that.

Would never understand his point of view.

He supposed he could understand that, if not, he could certainly live with it.  It was the additional guilt that he would carry that he wasn't sure he could live with.

Because if it had been Emily. . .

He shook away the thought and reminded himself that it wasn't.

And there was nothing he could do but protect his own.

That was his job.

And he knew that this time he couldn't fail, that all he could do was stand there, drinking and staring out the window, wondering what if. . .

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Jax sat in his car staring past the image of himself reflected in the windshield and back to the gatehouse.  He knew that his reactions to McGarry and Co. were irrational, but he couldn't help it.  This was his town.  He knew the people, the hidden rules, and the politics that needed to be played to accomplish something he had to do.  He had to fix this because there were things he had done that Ned and Carly didn't know about.

They didn't know that he had seen signs there was more going on than Donna had told them, and he hadn't pushed her to tell more.  They didn't know that she had wanted a day off to see a friend who couldn't make it into Port Charles, but that he hadn't granted the request.  He had justified it at the time as there being too much work to get done on the merger they were finalizing, and that he was unable to spear her.  They didn't have the image if her reaction in their minds of when he had distractedly asked if it was really that important as he looked over her from the top of a file. The resigned sigh and slump of her shoulders as she answered in a tone he didn't pay enough attention to that "it can wait."  They weren't the ones who should have known better since she never called out or took time off.

He knew he couldn't change that now, but he could do something to make up for it. He had to.  He needed to bring down the Quartermains to make up for what he hadn't done as much as for what he had.

After all, he was the one who had pushed her towards Ned that night, which led to AJ pushing her down those stairs.

Shaking away the images that haunted him, Jax started the car, making a vow that he would see that the next fall was one taken by the Quartermains and that he would be the cause.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Carly moved around the living room of the gatehouse shakily straightening and rearranging things.  From the door leading from the kitchen, Ned watched her tiredly before coming into the room, "You don't need to do that," he admonished from behind her.

Gasping, she jumped and turned to glare at him, one hand over her heart and the other punching him lightly in the chest, "you scared me to death," she accused.

"Sorry."

"S'OK," she shrugged as she went back to what she had been doing.

"Carly, you really don't have to. . ."

"Actually, I do," she said softly, refusing to turn and look at him.

"Oh," he answered softly as he fought the urge to touch her by putting his hands in his pockets.  "Where's Michael?"

Carly looked over her shoulder at him as she replied: "he's spending the night at Sonny's."

Nodding slightly, Ned took his hands out of his pockets, "and what do you plan to do? You can't straighten up my already straightened living room all night."

Turning away from him again, she looked down at the papers she had restacked and tried to swallow back tears, "yeah, I know.  I just. . ." she shrugged, unable to say anything else.

"You could stay here you know," Ned suggested, surprising them both.  "I mean, I ummm. . . I don't exactly want to be alone either."

Carly turned and stared at him, raising an eyebrow at his words, "are you propositioning me?" she asked half-jokingly. 

"I'm offering you my guest room," he smiled back with a shake of his head and half-smile. 

"How disappointing," she returned on a mock pout.

"Really?"

"Yeah.  Wouldn't it just scandalize your family if you were?"

Chuckling slightly, his smile grew a bit.  "Well, for that reason alone it might be worth it."

"Oh, it would be and for more than that," she shot back on a wink.  "So are you going to show me the way or what?"

"Just let me put away my laptop."

"Now that's one I haven't heard before."

Biting his lip, Ned went about shutting the computer down as Carly perched on the arm of the couch.  "So, were you able to find out anything on them?"

"I just started googling when you and Jax showed up, and didn't get the chance to check the returns."

"We could look now," Carly suggested even though Ned was in the process of coiling the plug.

"Yeah, because I really want to see you more punch drunk than you already are."

"I am not punchy," she pouted, earning a laugh from Ned.  "What?"

"Nothing, I just now know where Michael gets it from."

"Apparently I'm not the only one who needs sleep."

"Well, at least she admits it."

Shaking her head, Carly got to her feet, "just show me to my room, would you?"

"Well, since I'm a gentleman, of course.  In fact, I'll even lend you one of my shirts to sleep in."

"My hero!" she mock swooned as they started up the stairs.

Ned swallowed at her words, growing serious.  "I don't fell much like one now."

Stopping at the top of the stairs, Carly put a hand on his arm to stop him, "You're a good man, Ned.  Don't ever doubt that about yourself."

Ned swallowed and nodded as he stepped away from her, "your room's right there, I'll get you that shirt."

"Thanks," she replied softly as she moved to the door and went to open it, watching silently as he went down the hall to his own.  Inhaling deeply, she straightened her posture and walked in, turning at the knock on the doorframe, "that was fast," she said as she turned.

Ned didn't answer immediately as he threw her one of his shirts, "there should be everything you need in the bathroom."

"OK."

"Let me know if you do need anything else."

"Sure."

Not sure what else to say, Ned turned and started out, only to pause and turn in the doorway, "Oh, and Carly.  If and when I were to proposition you, you'd know it," he said softly before adding a "good night," as he turned and continued out.

Confused and surprised, Carly staggered across the room and fell onto the bed. "Oh my," she muttered as she stared at the ceiling.  "Oh my. . ."