Chapter 51

Toby headed into the office he was using only to pause at that door when he saw the derriere of a woman sticking up from under the desk.  As she shifted the bit of hair that moved into view gave him a pretty good idea of who the snoop was.  "Find whatever the hell you're looking for and then get the hell out," he ordered gruffly as he moved in and threw his balzer onto a nearby chair, choosing not to acknowledge the thud and slight moan he heard as the body crawled out from under the desk.

Pushing to her feet, Felicia sulkily rubbed her head, "I dropped a file," she replied huffily as she showed him the papers that were fisted in her other hand and gestured towards the chair that held the rest of the file's contents. 

"Before or after you snooped through mine?" he shot back as he threw his hands up at the mess that was now the desk.

Felicia only smirked slightly: "I had left some important papers in here for a story I was working on.  Had to find them.  Sorry, if it inconveniences you."

Raising only his eyes, Toby glared at her.  "Don't worry your pretty little head.  I'm not the one who's going to be inconvenienced."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Shifting through the files on his desk, Toby found the one he was looking for and sat down: "Just that if you want to put your nose into things that don't concern you you're going to find yourself in a whole hell of a lot of trouble."

"Saids someone whose doing just that," Felicia countered.  "I wonder how Tiffany would feel knowing that you were stabbing her in the back by trying to bring down her good friends.  You know Sean and Monica go back a long way.  I doubt that they'd be so receptive to you using their resources if they knew."

"You'd be surprised what they know that you don't," Toby said evenly, refusing to look at her.  "But on the same token I wonder how Tiffany would feel knowing that she has a snoop working for her.  Someone who doesn't know better than to go looking in personal and confidential material.  Perhaps you thought you'd find a story you could steal.  Perhaps that's the only way you know how to do your job.  If it is, I frankly could care less, as long as you're harassing other people when you do it.

I'm here as a friend of Tiffany's.

Even more so I'm here as a professional courtesy.  Too bad you don't seem to know what either word means," he paused as he put aside the folder, and stood, staring her down.  At his look Felicia involuntarily took a step back, "stay out of this office while I'm here.  Stay out of my way, or you will be sorry."

"You know, I don't have any idea who you think you are.  See Tiffany doesn't let her friends be treated this way by any one.  And unlike you, I'm one of her best friends.  So let me tell you something.  You're not going to do whatever you're planning to do to the Quartermains.  I won't let you.  They won't either.  No outsider is going to come into town and take them down.  It's impossible."

"I've done the impossible before."

"Well, not from this office you won't," Felicia said cockily.  "You'll see that once I get around to talking to Tiffany."

"If you're so hell bent on getting me thrown out, why not do it now?" Toby challenged, seeing through Felicia's act.  "I mean, I'm sure your wandering eyes saw more than a few notes I have on a possible non-story, including where I usually conduct my business.  And even in your ineptitude I'm sure you know just what WLPC has at stake if it chooses to not do business with me.  So, go right ahead and call her.  See where it gets both of us," he continued as he picked up the phone and held the headset towards her. "I'll even dial. . ." Felicia only swallowed as she held the file she had been working on at her chest.  "No? Well, then you know the way out.  Forget the way back in," he finished as he sat down and picked up another file.

"You'll regret this."

"So I've been told by more important people who didn't make me regret it either.  Close the door behind you."

Biting her lip, Felicia stomped towards the door and blew through it, slamming it hard behind her as she moved down the hall, mentally forming a plan of how to contact Tiffany in her own way, and with enough ammo to blow the interloper out of WLPC.

Back in the office Toby testily threw the file onto the pile and buried his head in his hands.  A pesky, inept, reporter was the last thing he needed to be dealing with right now.  Especially one who had ruined the organization he had managed to gain of the papers that needed his attention and would probably go running to the people that they all were trying to keep from finding out about their presence.  At the sound of the door opening, he didn't even look up: "Now what?"

Frowning at him, Ginger blew into the mug she cupped in her hands: "coffee's ready," then added: "what the hell happened to your desk?"

"Pain in the ass reporter," Toby muttered as he looked up to see her holding the cup.  "That for me?"

"You wish," she replied on a slight laugh.  "But I will make a sacrifice.  You go get a cup of coffee and I'll put your desk in order before I head back to the archives."

"I'll take what I can get," he sighed as he pushed back from the table and moved towards the door and past her.

Placing her mug down on the desk Ginger started to shift through the files on the desk, choosing to ignore his comment. . .

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

CJ sat in the chair watching Josh pace the room, his eyes drooping slightly.  "Aren't you supposed to be getting some sleep?" she asked.

He pivoted and looked at her, shaking his head to try to clear it and gather his thoughts.  "I'm too wired too," he answered as he crossed the room and pivoted again.

"What you are, Mi Amore, is dead on your feet."

"Since when are you in my body?" he asked as he turned again.

"You're picking a fight with me and expect me not to think you're ready to keel over?" she asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Maybe I'm just looking for a different way to hurt," he replied as he came to a stop, his back to her.

At that, CJ looked down and sighed. Shifting slightly, she reached down to pick her purse up from the floor.  "Well then, I'll go get some coffee while you use the phone."

"I don't need to. . ." he started to protest stiffly as he watched her reflection rise in the window.

"Make the damn call, Sparky, before I have to lay a smack down on you," she ordered as she came up behind him.

"Like it would make me feel any worse than I already do?"

CJ sighed at the dejection she heard in his voice and crossed to him, placing a hand on his shoulder.  "She needs you most of all," she told him softly.

Josh only laughed hollowly at that as he pulled away from her.  "Yeah, I noticed how I was her first call."

"And that's what really pisses you off, isn't it?"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You know damned well what I mean by that, Joshua."

"No.  No, I don't.  I don't know anything right now except that she's in that bed because some guy was harassing her and that she felt like she couldn't ask me for help with that and yet she put her life in my hands," he ranted as he turned towards her.  "What the hell am I supposed to do with that?"

"Whose hands did you put your life in?"

"What?"

"It's an easy question.  When Mrs. B hammered all of us to fill out that paperwork after that night, who did you choose?"

"You know who, CJ."

"Yeah," CJ smiled as she looked towards the bed and then back to him.  "You know, I put mine in Toby's hands."

"Big surprise there, Claudia Jean."

"Shut up and let me finish," she chided as she bumped his shoulder with her own.  "You know I've known him for years.  How many I'm not sharing but, there's been a lot of pain in the ass guys in my life that I never told him about.  That I'd complain to a girlfriend about, or some acquaintance."

"This is different."

"Not really," she sighed.  "Remember the e-mails?"

"E-mails, Ceej?"

"Yeah.  The threats after the fire in that girls school in Qumar? The ones I showed Donna but wouldn't tell anyone else about till she called your nosey ass in?"

"Oh, those e-mails."

"Did you know I didn't tell Toby? That he found out after Leo and the President brow beated me into signing the papers to accept protection."

"No.  I didn't know that.  Should I take it he wasn't that happy about it?"

"He didn't talk to me as anything more than a colleague to New York."

"I still don't see. . ."

"No, of course you don't.  The thing is, the reason I didn't tell him then--- or with those pain in the ass boyfriends--- was because I didn't want him to think I was weak.  I trust him with my life but not always with my weaknesses. Not to mention that I didn't want to be dependent on anyone--- especially him."

"Whatever," Josh sighed as he brushed past her and moved to the seat she vacated.  "I still don't want to make that call."

"I didn't want to report those e-mails," CJ reminded as she turned and glared at him across the room.  "You made me then, and helped to save my life. I'm returning the favor now. You either call or I do."

"CJ. . ."

"If you don't want to do it for yourself, do it for Donna.  You do have her life in your hands. . ." she finished stiffly as she turned and walked out.

Josh watched her go and buried his head in his hands, muffling a laugh.  Lifting his head he stared at the ceiling before turning his attention towards Donna's still form.  "They just don't understand, do they?" he asked her.  "They think that they're so smart.  That they know what's wrong with me.  But how could they?  How could they understand? 

They think that I'm going to fall apart.  And g-d help me Donna, part of me wants to.  But how can I let myself when I hold your life in my hands?  When I know that you need me to be strong?

A call to Stanley isn't going to change what I'm feeling or help me understand it better.

The only one who can is you.

You're the only one who can explain to me why you didn't call me.

Why you didn't let me help you.

Why you had to be so damned independent!" he ranted, a touch of anger in his voice as he pushed to his feet and started to pace, his hands running nervously through his hands as he continued, his voice growing softer: "I don't know.  Maybe CJ is right.  Maybe I do need to make that call.  It's too late for me to call Gail, no matter what she saids, and I can pretty much guarantee that they have Stanley expecting my call.  And I can't screw this up.  You're too important for me to chance that." Moving towards the chair he sat down and picked up the phone.  "Everyone will probably be surprised that I actually know the number.  I always knew most of the numbers, I just needed a way to show you how much I needed you.  I still do Donna, so you don't stop fighting.

You fight for me like I did for you.

See the one thing I never told you is that in every plan I ever thought up I knew you'd be the one. . .I could never do that to you. . . This might not be the time or place to tell you, but without you. . . If you leave me. . . like this. . .I'll have a plan. . . there'll be nothing to stop me. . ."