A/N: All hail Tonksie, she is the queen! Dunno why I said that but...huh :)

Tonks dragged herself down the kitchen stairs the next morning with a groan. She had to be at work in an hour. She felt a bathroom floor with her head in the toilet would be more appropriate, considering her state. Her cousin grinned as he saw her.

About bloody time she came off worse than I did!

"Wotcher, Poodle," she croaked as she sat down heavily, wincing at the sudden movement. Sirius gave her the once over and then burst into a fit of laughter. Tonks felt like scowling but couldn't quite manage it.

"Some night last night, huh?" Sirius asked her as he poured them both a strong cup of tea.

"I vaguely remember children," Tonks told him. "Though I don't remember how many. Just remember lots of red hair and puzzled face…oh and I recall becoming overly friendly with the basin over there," she indicated with a nod.

"Yeah, that and Remus," Sirius mumbled behind his mug. His cousin looked up sharply.

"What?"

"Oh, you don't remember giving my old mate a lap dance then?" Sirius beamed. Tonks cringed. Now she remembered, and wished she hadn't. "Relax Dora, he probably didn't even notice," Sirius chuckled. Tonks' mouth dropped indignantly.

"What? How could he not notice a beautiful, young witch…albeit a plastered one, throwing herself on him? I'm gonna be quite insulted if he didn't actually."

Sirius scoffed a laugh.

"Oh don't be ridiculous Dora…you're not beautiful," he teased. Seeing her eyes widen in anger he corrected himself. "Just kidding, you're a stunner. What I meant is that it's not you it's him. When it comes to women… hell people in general, Moony rarely seems to notice." He took a big gulp of his drink and then sighed loudly. Seeing Tonks' frown, he lowered his cup.

"What?"

"That name…you used it for him last night. What does it mean exactly?" she inquired out of curiosity.

"Ah," Sirius said simply, scratching his neck. "Can't tell you that dear cousin, it's a secret." The man emphasised the words with his fingers as speech marks. Tonks wrinkled her nose.

"What kinda secret…one that you're gonna tell me?" she asked hopefully. Sirius paused for a beat and then shrugged.

"Sure, why not. But you can't tell Remus I told you because I promised"

Tonks nodded eagerly, promising that she wouldn't.

"Remus is a werewolf," he announced. Tonks just blinked at him. "Don't freak out about it though. He's a really good guy and I'd hate for you to be funny with him because of it. Plus, if you were, I'd have to disown you," he remarked, sneering at her across the table. Tonks just barked a laugh, which startled him as it sounded very similar to his.

"Why would I be funny about it?" she asked mildly, leaning across the table with her chin in her hand. It was Sirius' turn to blink.

"Uh…well…some people are," he murmured.

"And I'm some people?" Tonks asked dryly. Sirius looked to the table.

"Well…no I guess not."

"You guessed correctly," Tonks said with a nod. The pair fell silent, finishing their tea.

"So is that why Remus doesn't notice women? Because he's a werewolf?" Tonks enquired. Sirius shrugged.

"Guess he doesn't really have the opportunity to get close to them. Women are rather small-minded…err, that is to say some women…which is definitely not you!" he rambled quickly, feeling Tonks' glare land on him. "Let's just say that I don't think he's that experienced with women," he concluded. Tonks' eyebrows shot up questioningly.

"What, is he…" Tonks limped her wrist suggestively. Sirius appeared baffled. His cousin rolled her eyes. "You know…G.A.Y," she spelt it out. Sirius' expression was that of realisation and then dismissal.

"No. No of course not…at least I don't think he is," he added, biting his lip and looking to the ceiling in thought. "No, I'm pretty sure he bats for my team…and by that I mean 'the hot chica' team," he quickly clarified as Tonks raised her eyebrows once more.

"Sirius, you really should stop talking," Tonks laughed. He nodded his agreement. Silence fell once more. Tonks' brow was furrowed in thought. Sirius was watching her, mildly amused.

"He would notice me," she declared after a while, with a firm nod. Sirius shook his head lightly.

"Ah, are you still thinking about that?" he complained. Tonks gave a 'humph'. "Let it go T. So what if one man in the whole wide universe of Tonk-ness doesn't bat an eyelid at you. I'm guessing plenty of others do…especially with knockers like those," he added with a grin. Tonks' jaw dropped and then she beamed.

"You're so right Cuz, you're so right. You know I reckon, with these knockers and my bubbly and beautiful character, I could get your mate Moony to notice me, especially if I turn on the charm," she said, throwing a casual wink in the older man's direction. Sirius looked stunned and then shook his head.

"Nah, I bet you couldn't," he smirked. If Tonks had ears like Padfoot, they would have pricked up at that very sentence.

"I bet I could!" she countered with confidence. Sirius was wary, but never one to back down from a challenge.

"Ok then Tonksie, you're on. I bet that Remus won't react at all to your advances."

"React? Hell, he'll return them!" Tonks told him. Sirius regarded her for a brief moment.

"All right, if he notices your pathetic excuse for flirting and returns it, which believe me will never happen, then I'll give you…8 Galleons! If not then you have to cough up the money!" he said boldly. Tonks faltered slightly.

"I don't have 8 Galleons," she muttered. Sirius blinked at her mockingly.

"Shouldn't matter if you aim to win," he jeered and she scowled at him.

"6 Galleons," she bartered with him. Sirius considered the haggle, rubbing a hand over his unshaven jaw. He gave a firm nod.

"Spit shake," he announced and they spat into their own palms before bringing them together in a shake. Cringing slightly, they gave a laugh.

"All right, 6 Galleons it is. Prepare to lose that hard earned cash dearest cousin."

"Oh we will see Black, we will see!"

"Hello, Mr Lupin," he heard her voice sing from the study door. Of course, he had expected her, having heard her boisterous arrival into the house only five minutes ago. Remus lowered his book and turned his head to greet her.

"Hello, Nymphadora."

The witch plopped herself down heavily onto the sofa beside him. The bookshelf to their right was filled ceiling-to-floor with decrepit and yellowing books; mainly on the topic of the Dark Arts. Tonks looked down at the book in the man's hand in curiosity. He saw her looking.

"Have you ever read Utopia?" he asked mildly. The witch shook her pink-spiked head.

"Nope."

"Don't," was his simple response. He dog-eared the corner of a page before placing it on the desk beside him.

"Have you read it before?" Tonks asked. Lupin nodded.

"Oh yes, 23 times to be precise." This response caused Tonks to laugh, in both shock and amusement. "I'm still finding perplexing aspects to it. It's not a book that should be read out of interest… and I dare say you would find it rather…well, boring."

Tonks blinked at him. Did he think she wasn't mature enough to appreciate works by…she leant across him to snatch the book. Thomas More? Never heard of him, she crinkled her nose and forehead simultaneously. Reading the blurb, she decided that Remus was probably right after all and placed the book back down.

"So…recovered from last night's activities?" he asked. Tonks froze and then smiled apologetically.

"Oh yeah…about that–"

"No need to apologise, Nymphadora. I'm letting it go, this time. But, if it happens again in future, well let's just say you have been warned," he said sternly but his eyes twinkled mischievously. She gave a giggle.

"Oh come off it, Remus. I know you enjoyed it as much as I did, if not more."

"Perhaps," he said lightly.

"And to think Sirius told me you were gay," she teased and he stared at her. Tonks pressed her lips together to prevent herself from laughing at his stunned expression. "Just teasing," she laughed. Tonks began to tap her fingers onto the worn arm of the sofa. Dust rose from the fabric and she gave a little sneeze. Remus was watching her in curiosity. She was rather interesting to observe, her thought. Sirius was right, she should be studied, but not because of her morphing abilities…no, because she was such an interesting person to know.

"So, you're a werewolf?" she asked suddenly, breaking him out of his reverie. His mouth dropped open. Tonks faltered at his silence. "Oh, please tell me you are." Remus remained baffled. "Sirius already thinks I'm gullible. I can't believe I fell for that," she said with a groan.

"No, no I am," Remus croaked hoarsely, eventually finding his voice. Tonks gave a sigh of relief and patted him on the shoulder lightly.

"Phew," she grinned at him. Remus was rather taken aback by her reaction. She really was strange, he concluded. "Well, it didn't seem like a lie at the time," she was saying to him matter-of-factly. "And he was rather protective of you. He told me not to tell you he'd told me because it was a secret." She shrugged. "Guess I'm as bad as him when it comes to keeping secrets."

Remus continued to stare at her, blinking in a vain attempt to keep up with what had just happened.

"So…you hungry? We could get take out." She rummaged through her bag, ignoring the bewildered man beside her. It was 9 o'clock in the morning. He decided against it.

"Er, no maybe later," he said quietly.

"Ok," she sang. "So…got any other things to tell me? You're not secretly married with seven adorable but slightly hairy children are you?" she asked. Remus laughed.

"No, no I'm not married."

"Goodo," she grinned.

"How about you? Is there a …Mr Tonks?" He felt stupid for wording it like that, but too late, he had already said it now. Tonks shook her head and wrinkled her nose once more.

"Nah, only my dad," she laughed. "I've dated a lot of weirdoes in the past… and coming from a Metamorphmagus that's saying something! I've come to the conclusion that good, honest men can only be found in the cheesiest of romance novels. I've told Sirius all about my past 'mistakes'. They were lucky he wasn't around to meet them, believe me. No one's good enough for his 'little girl.'" She snorted a laugh. "He'd rather I be alone and miserable."

"I'm sure that's not true," Remus ventured sympathetically. "There must be someone out there who Sirius would approve of."

"Oh really?" Tonks said cynically. "I don't think so Rem. I mean…even you wouldn't pass the Sirius-trial, and you're his best friend," she scoffed. Suddenly, her face fell as a thought hit her. She smirked to herself. " I bet … I bet Sirius would go crazy if he thought you and I were an item."

It was Lupin's turn to scoff. "Oh I don't think so Nymphadora. Sirius doesn't even think I notice women. I doubt he'd even realise, let alone react," he said shortly. Tonks licked her lips.

"I bet he would," she countered casually. "In fact, I'm willing to bet…ooh, say 6 Galleons on it, that my dearest cousin would freak out at the thought of you and me together. His best friend, the werewolf, with me…his shy and innocent baby cousin." She bit her bottom lip, impishly. Remus cocked his head, considering her bet.

"Alright, Nymphadora, you're on. But I don't have 6 Galleons," he added quietly.

"Shouldn't matter if you aim to win," she teased him, using her cousin's own words.

"5 Galleons," Remus spoke up. Tonks pretended to consider it, before shrugging. She offered a small hand, which he accepted and shook gently before bringing it to his lips in a gentlemanly way. She giggled. This should be fun. The game was on!

A/N: Prepare yourself for some craziness!