A/N: Italics equal internal monologue. This chapter overlaps with chapter 2, but I've tried to keep the repetition to a minimum. And I know I've said it before, but thanks again to everyone who's commented on this story. I'm a total feedback junkie, and you keep me from getting the shakes.

"This is a brand rescued from the fire." Zechariah 3:2

"Well, we're all entitled to our own religions, Veronica."

September 14, 2005

3:22pm

Veronica sat near the back of her AP Physics class, struggling to keep her eyes open.

Why does he have to explain kinematics again? We learned this in regular physics. Mr. Friedman teaches regular physics, so he knows that we already know it. Why should we repeat it in AP physics?

In truth, Friedman was not a bad teacher. In fact, had Veronica been pressed on the issue, she would have had to concede that he was one of the teachers she despised the least amongst Neptune High's faculty. But between tailing Mrs. Caroline Moore to the Camelot and the stress of Aaron Echolls' sentencing hearing, Veronica had not been getting a lot of sleep lately.

Why am I still worrying about this? I should be able to relax. Worst-case scenario, Aaron doesn't get the death penalty, but he still spends the rest of his life in prison. I know I'll be satisfied with that. I told Miss James I'd "find closure" when Lilly's killer was rotting away in prison, and I meant it. Getting him executed is just icing on the cake. So what's the matter with you, V?

For the last five nights, Veronica had lain awake in bed, reliving her testimony at the sentencing hearing. The D.A., in deference to the fact that Veronica had had to start school again, had done his best to make life easy for her by calling her to the stand first. She'd been questioned for four days straight by the both the prosecution and the defense on various potentially aggravating or mitigating circumstances surrounding Aaron's crimes.

The jury already heard me give the same answers to the same questions during the fact-finding phase of the trial. Why did we need to go over it all again?

Since her testimony had concluded last Friday, however, Veronica had been turning it over in her mind, struggling to see if she's slipped up somewhere, left something out, or accidentally added something, anything that might incline the jury toward mercy.

What if I wasn't good enough on the stand? What if my testimony would have done more good coming later? Why did the D.A. have to care about my well-being? His job is to put Aaron Echolls in an urn, not to worry about my welfare. If I get justice for Lilly, then any sacrifice is cheap. Not that being absent from this place is what I'd call a sacrifice.

The bell rang. Veronica shoved her books into her bag and headed for the parking lot.

Free at last. I have got to get out of here.

At 5:30, Theodore Moore, Caroline's husband, would be stopping by the office to pick up the evidence that would get him out of his prenuptial agreement. Her father would probably only be getting back around then also, since he would probably be in court all day, so Veronica had nowhere to be for the next two hours. Just as she got to her car, Veronica decided that she did need to be somewhere, and drove off.

I never told my dad where I've been going every Sunday morning since December 14, 2003. It's not that I think he'd disapprove, even though he and Mom were never very religious. It's just that that's the same week I hacked off all my hair. The same week I took seventeen showers. How Dad was able to ignore what that meant, I don't know. Maybe he just didn't want to see it, but he's much too good a detective to ignore three textbook signs all at once.

3:54pm

Veronica parked her car in front of St. Mary's and walked inside. But for herself and Fr. Santiago, the church was of course empty in the middle of a Wednesday afternoon.

"Well, Veronica Mars, good afternoon. What brings you here today?"

"I don't know exactly. I've just been feeling…ill at ease, I guess."

"Would you like to talk about it?"

"Talking about my feelings won't make them better."

The priest arched an eyebrow at her and headed over to the confessional booth. "Confess. It's good for the soul."

"Got me there," replied Veronica with a bit of a grimace as she followed him over to the side of the church.

3:59pm

"Bless me Father, for I have sinned. It has been three days since my last confession."

"Go ahead"

"I've had, I don't know, twenty impure thoughts."

"You didn't act on them, I hope."

"Not with another person."

"How many times?"

"Just once."

"Is that all?"

"I guess."

"Look, Veronica, you know you're always welcome here at any time, but I can't help but feeling that you haven't told me what is keeping you up nights."

"Who says anything's keeping me up nights?"

"The circles under your eyes say it. Do you want to tell me what's wrong?"

"I told you before, I don't know what's wrong. I should be happy. Aaron Echolls is going to pay for what he did, even if he doesn't get the death penalty."

"Veronica, you know the Church teaches that the death penalty is wrong."

"'Here stand I. I can no other.'"

"Alright, so if you're not bothered by the fact that you could be sending a man to his death, is it possible that you're upset over the fact that you could be making your boyfriend an orphan?"

"No, I feel pretty good about that, actually."

"Well, look, I hate to bring this up, but is it possible you're wondering about what your friend did?"

"What do you mean?"

"I know what you went through to get justice for your friend, and then you found out what she was doing with Aaron, and if I were you, I'd be pretty angry with her."

"I know what you're thinking, but that's not it. I know what Lilly did was wrong, but I love her anyway, and I know she's in heaven now. I'd have gladly given more than I did to get justice for her. I still might have to, but I don't care how high the cost grows."

"Okay."

The two of them were silent for several moments.

"Veronica, is it possible that that's what's bothering you?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean that you've been on this mission for justice for your friend, and I know, well no, I can't say I know what you've been through, but I do have some inkling, and I know that it's this mission of yours that's been giving you the strength to go on. And I wonder if now that you've come almost to the end, you're wondering what will give meaning to your life when it's over."

Veronica was silent for almost a full minute. When she finally did speak, her voice was shaking.

"What's the point of going on? I've done what I set out to do. Why can't I just rest?"

"Veronica, what I'm about to say may be a blessing or a curse, I don't know. What I suspect though, is that, whatever you think now, there is a reason you are still here. I have a feeling that God is not finished with you."

"Thank you Father. Although I'm not sure whether that's exactly a blessing either."

"Well, I only hope it helps somewhat. Why don't I assign you your penance, and then you can take Communion."

4:22pm

Veronica rose to her feet. When she turned to leave, she saw Logan skulking in the back of the Church.

"Logan, what are you doing here?"

"Nothing. I just—I followed you here." He had his arms folded across his chest, his eyes downcast.

"Why did you follow me?"

"I wanted to see what you were up to. You've been so quiet lately, I just wanted to know what was going on in your head."

What's going in my head? I'd like to know the same thing about you.

"Well now you know. Confession. It's good for the soul."

"Like you have any sins to confess."

Ha. Coming from the boy who's responsible for the eight 'Hail Marys' and six 'Our Fathers' I have to say, that's a laugh.

"My dear boy, you have no idea."

"So when did you start coming here? I mean, I know I haven't been there in a long time, but I remember we both used to go to St. Thomas'."

I haven't been to St. Thomas' since I was a kid Logan.

"I stopped going to St. Thomas' a long time ago."

"After…."

"After."

And when I needed to reconnect after what happened at Shelly's, it's not like I was going to go back there.

7:26pm

Veronica sat in one of the pews, waiting for Logan to emerge. She had just gotten off the phone with her father for the second time that evening. She had called him right after five to let him know that she would not be home until later, and that the Moore file was in his desk drawer. She had called him again just to let him know that she was alright. She turned again to look at the confessional booth.

Wow. I know he hasn't been in a while, and he's certainly been a naughty boy, but he's really been in there a long time.

At last, Logan staggered out, ashen-faced.

"Logan, are you alright? You look terrible."

"I feel worse. I can't believe I survived that."

"I'm sorry. Maybe you should have gone to St. Thomas'; Father Santiago is a little, well, stricter than Father Paulsen."

"No, I'm a big boy now. Best to just take my medicine. Look, Veronica, there's something I need to tell you…."

"Veronica, I can't help think that maybe I'm like him. Like my father."

Oh God, what do I tell him? How can I get through to him? Whatever you do V, tell him the truth.

"Logan, look at me, and listen." She put her hand under his chin and lifted his face to hers. "You are like your father."

"Then you definitely shouldn't be with me."

"That doesn't mean you are your father. You can choose to be different. You don't have to do what he did, anymore than I have to be a drunk, a thief, or an adulteress."

"That's different. You have your father."

"Logan." She got down on her knees to face him, and looked him in the eye. "You have me. I love you, and I believe in you." With that, she embraced him as he wept in her arms.

To be concluded….