Holy Crap!
Chapter 5
Hi! Chapter 5! Still alot to come. It's all in my head. My sugar rush is going away. So i'm not as crazy. Time for more rock candy! Yummy! I never did find out if crap was in the dictionary. i'm too lazy to do that school stuff. instead I write these stories with crazy titles. And smelly hobo men. Later.
Hobo man want to ride a moose, plane crash, 4 still in girls cloths.
"This is the hotel we'll be staying at." 3's mother said. "Looks fancy." 3 said. "Don't you have to get back to America?" "No I've got time. And I need to take a shower. I smell bad." 4 said walking into the hotel. "No kidding." "I was wondering if I could share a room with you? I don't have any cash with me." 4 asked. "Why not?" The parents got a separate room. so it was just the two of 'em.
They walked up to the room and 4 took a shower. When he got out he saw 3 had gone to sleep. He lay next to her, his face red. 3 flipped over and faced 4. She was asleep but grabbed 4 and snuggled with him. Now his face was blood red. She whispered in his ear, "Say your prayers before you go to sleep." And pushed him off the bed.
So he did , "God, I'm gunna stop this wedding. I need your help though, so help me. I hope Kuki was happy today. If not I'm mad. Thank you though for everything you've done so far to help me. I see you want me to stop this stupid wedding.. Thank you." and he fell asleep.
Next morning. 3 wakes up. "Where's miss flight attendant?"
4 woke up earlier and ran to the nearest wedding dress store and asked were the bathroom was so he could steal a guys uniform and stuff him down the toilet. They showed him were to go, and you know what happened next. So now he was waiting for 3 and her family to come.
The walked through the doors, and 4 was there to greet them. "Konichiwa, mates!" he said. "Hi! Are you miss flight attendant?" 3 asked. "I don't know nothin' 'bout planes. I'd probly crash 'em. especially if the crazy pilot jumped out the window and I had to fly over seas to Japan from America. We'd all die." he replied. "So ya here to find a weddin' dress are ya? Who's gettin' married?" "Me!" 3 said. "Oh. Why? You only look 10. Wait. Let me guess, it's a family tradition, and an arranged marriage. See? I'm so smart. S-h-n-e-r-x. Smart." "But that spells-" "Okay, like all unprofessional like me, I'm gunna need your measurements." "Okay, arms, legs, head, neck, stomach, waist, butt. Okay, all done." "Don't you have to measure the bust?" 3's mother asked. "Um, no I, I mean yes, no no I don't , yes I do, no need, yes there is, no no no! Yes yes yes! NO!" "Um, are you alright?" "I'm sorry, i just get like that sometimes when I get a stinky ol' brain fart. Any who, what kinda' dress ya afta? Green? Red? Purple? Orange?" "I was thinking black and white." "Kuki, Kuki, black and white? Are you sure? You look more like a ...oh I dunno, maybe-" "Blue." her mother shouted. "Blue?" "Yes, you heard me, Blue." "How'd you know my name?" "What, Kuki?" "Ya, I've only just met you and you know my name." "Well, um, I'm a part-time stalker." "Oh. That explains it." "You know, blue is for smelly hobo men. I like her idea of black and white." "But you just said-" "Why don't you try this dress on?" 4 said as he randomly picked a dress on a rack behind him. "Changing rooms are back that way." So she left to change in the dress.
"So, would she have a chance ta get hitched to a poor little Australian boy? Any chance at all?" "No." "Oh. What about a poor little Australian-American boy?" "Nope." "Oh. What about Spanish-American gaucho?" "How did you... I mean, mabey." "Aha! I knew it! It's that Spanish freak from the tube-a-thon that was flirting with Kuki! That gaucho jerk idiot freak. I'll show 'em!" "You know him?" "Oh, no, I'm just psychic. yep. And I predict that da wedding will be interrupted by an unwanted visitor. And he'll stop da wedding and get married ta Kuki! Muwha Haha! But that's just a prediction. Hey look a smelly hobo man riding a guy in a moose suit!" "Ya. Scary."
"I'm back but I can't zip the back." 3 said. walking back. "Let me help ya." 4 said. He zipped it up, skimming 3's skin. "Such soft skin." he thought. And A chill went up his spine. "Well, how do I look?" 3 asked. 4's nose started bleeding. "is your nose bleeding?" she asked. "No, I'm not a pervert." he said wiping his nose on his sleeve. "Dad, is your nose bleeding?" "What? No, I'm not a sick freak!" he said wiping his nose on 4's sleeve. "I think.. I think you look... oh what the heck! you look gorgeous! I love you! I mean... it!" "I dunno, it's kinda tight on the bust." "Oh. um, that's a good thing. It... it makes it look... I told ya I'm not a pervert right?" he said holding his nose. "Besides that, I really like it." "See, I told ya I was smart!" 4 turned to the parents again. "So will dat be cash or check?" he asked.