Disclaimer: I do not own these characters. If anything, they own me.
A/N: The title for this story was taken from the Phil Collins song "I Wish It Would Rain Down" which inspired me to write this fic.
Sam walked into the wind. Steadily, head held high as if oblivious to the rain that beat down on her, stinging her skin. She walked on, driven by an inner need. A gust of wind blew through her, chilling her to the bone. And the sick feeling in the pit of her stomach was spreading into her head. But she pressed on. Because she was so far from home, and anything was better than going back.
Jack sat in an armchair in his living room staring at the window. He'd tried turning the TV on but after all the silence, the noise had just irritated him. Jack zoned out as he watched the water flow off the window in sheets, and listened to it pound the roof with a fierce intensity. Jack's trance was interrupted by a knock on the door. He got up slowly, wondering who would be crazy enough to drive in the rain. He opened the door.
"Hi" She smiled tentatively. "I was just out for a walk and the rain picked up…" She explained.
"A walk?" Jack looked at her like she was nuts. "It's thirty-two degrees out there. Are you trying to catch pneumonia?" As if in answer an involuntary shiver ran through her body. "Oh hell" Jack muttered, realizing she was still standing in the open doorway. He stepped aside so she could come in.
Sam wanted to say something but now words came. She had her teeth locked together to keep them from chattering. Jack looked at her standing there and without even a jacket on, water dripping off her hair and her soaked clothes, which were plastered to her body by the wind. Even her shoes squished. She looked beautiful, but completely pathetic.
"Look, you've got to get out of those wet clothes." Jack stated. Sam started to object but he anticipated her. "No arguing" He said firmly. Then asked "You remember where the bathroom is?"
Sam nodded and started toward it obediently. She felt cold to the bone, like there wasn't a single warm place in her entire body.
"Why don't you take a hot shower while I find you something to put on?" Jack suggested. A 'suggestion' he expected her to follow, judging from the tone of his voice and the way he was mothering her. Jack turned the heat up on the thermostat and started coffee before he went to look for something Sam could wear.
In the bathroom Sam peeled off her wet clothes. There was a rap on the bathroom door. "Yes?" She asked, suddenly self-conscious over the fact that she was standing naked in her commanding officer's bathroom.
"You might want to let the water heat up before you get in the shower." Jack advised
"Thanks" Sam cranked the shower lever to the left and waited. Her skin was pale and prickly like gooseflesh. She looked around. It was a very masculine bathroom. Void of any feminine touches like color coordinated towels, bath oil, perfume, and hair conditioner. He didn't even have a lot of the usual 'guy stuff' like cologne or aftershave. Just bar soap, safety razors, shaving cream, one bottle of shampoo…
The water was hot. Sam turned it down a little before she stepped in. The warmth startled her body, causing tiny pinpricks everywhere as it gradually warmed her skin, feeling so good her body ached. She tilted her head up, letting the water flow over her face. Sam closed her eyes and sank to her knees, letting the hot stream thaw her body. She knelt under the water until her legs felt numb.
She knew she should get up, but she wasn't warm yet. So instead she shifted her body -only briefly letting herself wonder how often Jack cleaned- and sat in the tub with her knees to her chest. She wrapped her arms around her legs and rested her head on her knees. The water poured over, around and through her, the heat fogged the bathroom and the chill in her bones started to wash away. She wanted to stay there forever, or at least until she had been under the hot shower as long as the cold rain. She longed to be as hot as she'd been cold. She wanted life to have as much joy as it had pain. So she cried, curled up in Jack's bathtub, until she fell asleep.
Sam woke up with a start when the water began to cool. She pushed the shower lever all the way to the left until it was hot again. She sighed and forced herself to stand. The last thing she needed was to run out of hot water and have to wash cold. Sam missed her razor. She would have borrowed Jack's if it had been in the shower instead of on the sink.
Sam ran her hand over the barely noticeable blonde hairs on her legs and saw a few short, gray hairs clinging to her skin. She washed Jack's hairs off her body and back to the shower floor where she'd picked them up, then shampooed her hair, and stepped out of the shower onto the rug. She found a towel and dried herself off. Sam was wondering what to do about clothes when she noticed some things hanging off a hook on the back of the door.
She realized Jack must have put them there while she was dozing. She hadn't even heard him open the door. She took the sweatpants -most likely selected because they had a drawstring waistband- and cinched them up. Then she put on the men's XXL fleece pullover, noting that once again she had a few of his hairs on her, and that it was so big she was practically swimming in it. But she was really warm. Sam put her towel around her shoulders to catch the water dripping from the ends of her hair -Jack wasn't a blow dryer owning kind of guy- last of all she saw a pair of thick socks on the counter by the sink and pulled them on smiling to herself, Jack thought of everything.
Sam emerged from the bathroom. The rest of the house felt cool by comparison, but she could hear the furnace running, a sure sign Jack had turned it up just for her. She looked in the living room but didn't see him so she went by the kitchen and found him pouring two cups of coffee. He must have heard her turn the shower off and known she'd be out. "That smells good" She said
Jack turned around and couldn't suppress the grin that spread across his face. Sam stood there forbearingly, knowing she must look ridiculous. After all, Jack tended to like his clothes loose fitting when he wore them. Not to mention the five inch height difference that meant she had rolled up the legs of his sweatpants a little and they were still dragging on the floor. Jack handed her one cup, took the other, and led her into the living room.
"Here, let me hold that" Jack held her coffee while she sat down and covered up with the blanket he'd brought out earlier. "You warm enough?" He asked, handing back her mug.
Sam nodded. "Thanks, but if I was any warmer I'd be burning up."
Jack put a hand on her forehead.
"I just meant…" Sam objected as he checked her for fever.
"Hey you can't be too careful, especially after that stunt you pulled." He scolded. Sam's face fell, and Jack softened. "Want to tell me what's wrong?"
Sam just looked at her coffee. "Jacob?" Jack guessed, looking worried. Sam just shook her head. Jack waited.
"It's my niece"
"Oh no" Jack breathed
"She's alive" Sam tried to sound hopeful "But she's in a coma"
"What happened?" Jack asked gently.
"She was hit by a car. She was playing by the curb when the car drove off the road."
"You know, kids are tough." Jack tried to encourage her "I was hit by a car when I was a kid"
Sam looked up from studying her coffee. "Really?"
"Yup" Jack said casually. "I was eight years old, playing street hockey with the guys, we're in an alley, this car comes through way faster than it should have and wham, I'm out like a light, in and out of consciousness for two days."
"Wow"
"Yeah, doctor said he figured I was gonna be all right though. I don't remember any of it but he said I kept asking who won"
Sam smiled, that sounded like Jack. "Who did win?"
"You know, I never did find out."
They sat in silence for a while, both their thoughts returning to the little girl in a coma.
"So when do they think they'll know more?" Jack asked.
"Mark said he'd call me around six and tell me it they learned anything."
Jack looked at his watch. "It's ten after"
"What?" Sam threw off her blanket. "I've got to get home."
"Do you know the number?" Jack asked "You could call them from here"
Sam nodded. "Yeah, I know the number" Jack brought her his cordless. Sam dialed, glad she had such a good memory for numbers. "Mark it's me" Sam said into the phone. Jack wasn't sure whether to leave or stay. He opted for lingering in the doorway. "I'm sorry," Sam was saying. "But when I heard I was so upset, I couldn't stand just staying home and waiting so I went for a walk. I didn't mean to be gone long but it started raining and I really don't remember much after that." Sam rubbed her forehead. "No, I'm fine now. I'm at a friend's house." "Yeah, the important thing now it how…" "Well you'll call me as soon as you hear anything?" "Oh, Right, I'm with Jack O'Neill. I gave you his number once in case you needed me and couldn't reach me…" "Okay. What? Why? Yeah all right. Love you. Okay, bye" She held the phone to Jack. "He wants to talk to you." Jack raised his eyebrows. Sam shrugged.
"Hello" Jack answered.
"Jack O'Neill?"
"Yes?"
"Mark Carter. I'm Sam's brother."
"Right. What can do for you?"
"Well, Sam would probably kill me if she knew I was doing this but I need to know, if she's really okay? She says she is but…"
"She has a way of saying that when it's not necessarily true" Jack finished, easing his way out of the living room.
"Exactly. And she didn't sound so good"
"Well she's taking this pretty hard. Which is understandable, and she got quite a chill
earlier but she'd gonna be fine."
"Good" Mark was relieved "Oh there's one more thing"
"Hmmm?"
"You're in the Air Force right?"
"Right"
"Well Sam might be a little distracted for a while so, I know you have ranks and regulations, but if you can see that her commanding officer doesn't give her any crap…"
"I can guarantee it" Jack assured him
"Thanks Jack"
"No problem. And don't worry about Sam, she's in good hands."
"I appreciate that"
"Mark"
"Yes?"
The words caught in Jack's throat. "I hope your little girl gets better."
"Thanks" Mark said huskily, and hung up the phone. Jack sighed deeply as he hung up the phone. That had been even harder than he'd thought. He walked into the living room.
"What did Mark want?" Sam asked curiously.
"Oh he just wanted to make sure you were okay"
Sam looked at him like she didn't quite believe him.
"Really" Jack assured her. "He wanted to be sure you were really fine."
"And what did you tell him?" Sam asked
"I told him I was taking personal responsibility for you." Jack said lightly.
Sam started to tear up. Jack sat down at the end of the couch. "Are you okay?"
She nodded and wiped her eyes on her sleeve, or rather his sleeve. "I'm just tired"
Jack stood up. "I'll get you something to eat."
"Maybe I should just go home" Sam suggested wearily.
Jack looked out the window. It was pitch black and the rain hadn't let up. "Visibilities zero out there. I've driven in storms before, but you don't want to risk it unless you have to"
"All right" Sam acquiesced
"So, you like canned soup?"
Not really, Sam thought. "Sure" she said instead. She was finding it hard to care about food right now anyway. It took Jack ten minutes to heat up supper and she was dozing when he got back.
"Here ya go" he handed her a bowl "I didn't have any chicken noodle, so I took a gamble on beef vegetable..." He looked at her hopefully.
"This is fine" Sam smiled at him. The hot bowl warmed her fingertips, and it did smell pretty good. "Thank you" She hated feeling helpless but she had really needed someone to lean on today. And Jack had been there for her.
Jack seemed to realize she was too tired to talk, so he just ate with her in companionable silence, each thinking his or her own thoughts. "You know what really kills me," Sam said aloud. Jack looked up from his food. "I keep thinking maybe I could help her. Maybe a Gou'uld healing device, or an alien medicine…I may be in a better position to help her than anyone and I can't do anything."
"Sam" Jack tried to find the right words. "You've helped more people than anyone I've ever known. Sometimes you have to accept that there's nothing you can do." Sam struggled with his words. "But" Jack added "I promise, if she really needs it, we'll do anything in our abilities to help her okay? I don't care what protocol we have to breach we'll do it. Okay?"
Sam swallowed "Thank you" tears trickled down her face. Jack handed her a handkerchief. Sam looked down at her soup which was almost gone. "I don't think I can eat anymore"
"No problem" Jack took her bowl to the kitchen. When he came back she was asleep again. "Hey" he said, waking her. "Why don't you go to bed?"
"I thought I'd sleep here"
"I can sleep out here" Jack offered, "You'll be more comfortable"
"I can't take your bed sir"
"You can sleep between the blankets. They're clean, I promise."
Sam blushed. "That wasn't exactly what I meant"
"C'mon" Jack persisted "I promised Mark I'd take care of you."
Sam sighed. She was loosing her will to argue. "All right" She stood up, leaving him her blanket. "You don't like to lose do you?"
"Nope" Jack smiled.
"Goodnight sir"
"'Night Carter"
Sam headed toward his room and sat down on the bed. She moved the telephone on his night stand closer to the bed so she could reach it if Mark called in the night. Then she pulled the chain on the lamp and crawled into his bed. She pulled the blanket up to her chin, and fell asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow.
The clock read 9:00am when the phone rang. Sam grabbed the receiver.
"Hello?"
"Sam?"
It was Mark. He sounded like he was crying. Sam felt a flood of panic.
"Mark what is it?"
"She woke up" Mark choked on tears of joy.
"Oh Mark" the tears streamed down Sam's face.
"What is it?"
Sam looked up to see Jack standing in the doorway. His clothed were wrinkled, his hair sticking up and his face was ashen.
"She's okay" Sam told him. "She's gonna pull through"
Jack leaned back against the wall for support. He felt like the weight of the world had been lifted off his shoulders. Facing the agony of loosing a child, even someone else's, was more than he could bear.
Sam's heart ached with relief. She felt it in her heart, her body, and soul. The strangling fear that tormented her was gone. "Oh Mark" she said again.
"The doctor says she'll be back to normal in a couple of weeks."
"Wonderful" Sam breathed. Jack looked at her. "Doctor says she'll be good as new in a couple of weeks" She relayed to Jack.
"Yes!" Jack expressed his relief by slamming his fist on his wall.
"Was that Jack?" Mark asked, recognizing the voice.
"Yeah" Sam replied, ready to explain the fact that he was in her room, or rather, why she was in his room.
"Tell him I said thank you for thinking of my daughter. And the flowers you two sent."
"I-I will" Sam was confused.
"And Sam, she loves that bear you had sent up from the gift shop. It was here almost the moment she woke up. She wanted me to thank you for her."
"Tell her it was my pleasure. And that I'm thrilled that she's better. And that I love her, and I'll call her soon as she's feeling better."
"Will do"
"Thank you"
"Love you"
"Love you too"
"Bye"
"Bye Sam"
Sam hung up the phone. Jack sat down on the end of the bed. Sam wiped the tears of joy off her face, then looked at Jack. "Flowers? Stuffed animals? Gift shops? What were you doing while I was asleep?" Jack shrugged "I never even thought about that." Sam said, shaking her head.
"You were upset" Jack told her.
"How'd you know she'd wake up?" Sam asked quietly. She couldn't believe that Jack would risk hurting the parents by sending flowers to a room where the child might die.
"I didn't" Jack confessed. "I bribed the woman in the Gift Shop to check up on her every few minutes."
Sam burst into tears. "What?" Jack was perplexed. Sam just sobbed. Jack hesitated briefly, then moved closer and put and arm around her. Sam rested her head on his shoulder and cried until the tears stopped coming. Sam cried until she'd cried as much from joy as she had from sorrow, until the rain stopped sounding like tears and pounded the roof with an immense torrent of joy that made it better than any sunshine. Sam got up and ran for the door. Jack followed after her, confused, but not bothering to ask her what she was doing because he knew it would be pointless.
She opened the door, the day had warmed from yesterday and as the rain flowed through the streets and sank into the ground it filled the air with the smell of clean earth. Sam stepped outside the house. Jack held her arm to keep her out of the rain, but she pulled away. She needed to feel it. Sam tipped her head back and opened her mouth, drinking the rain as it washed the dried salt tears off her face. Sam felt, more than heard, Jack stand beside her. He was wearing just a t-shirt and jeans and was already drenched through to his skin. Sam waited for the inevitable scolding, but Jack had given up on reason.
"Here" he offered her a coat, holding it open while she slipped into it, even though she was already soaked. Jack wrapped his arms around her from behind and rubbed her arms to keep her circulation going. Sam looked up at the sky.
"Lovely day isn't it?" Jack remarked cheerfully.
"It's perfect" Sam said contentedly. Maybe life was more bad then good, more pain that happiness. But there were also days like today, when joy was overwhelming, and even the uncertainty of the future couldn't mar the feeling that she would never be cold again.
