Holy Crap!
Chapter 9
Take a seat, and listen good. I don't own KND. I never have and never will. But I do own the hobo. He's my hobo! Go get your own!
"Father, I've been told that you will be at my wedding." the kid said as he walked in. "I want you to give me this paper when time comes to recite the vows." he said handing 4 a paper. 4 grinned as he saw the paper. "You cant memorize your own vows?" "No, I'm afraid not. Bad memory." the kid handed 4 the paper and walked to the front of the alter where he kneeled folded his hands, and bowed his head. "You wouldn't possibly be the fiance of the cute little 10 year old Japanese girl now would ya?" 4 asked. He ignored him. He blessed himself and walked out the door saying, "Just about everyone in Japan is Japanese, idiot."
Next day. The big day. The music plays and 3 walks down the isle. She stands next to her husband and looks around. "Where's the priest?" she asked her dad, next to her. The front church door slams open and everyone turns.
"Ya, i-i-i'm real s-sorry I'm just a wee late for da... da... why are we here again? I'm sorry, I-I had a wee little waaaaaaaay tooooooo much ta drink last night. Yaaaaa. I still got some if ye want it." "But that's grape juice in a bottle." "Ya. It is ain't it? Ya see? That's how drunk I am. I can't even tell I'm drinkin'! Blahahahahah! Hehehehehehaaaaaaaaaaaa!" this caused chatter amoung the people attending as the "drunk" preist walked up the isle dizzily. He pulled off the bible from the altar and opened it. "Pee and poo, tea for two, wit a little side a chacolete! Oh, sorry wrong page. Ha ha ha. Myyyy bad. Okay okay, I gotts the real thingy. Uhum, And today, this day, not yesteryear, or or or, pie! Stop spinning! Darn you all! Blah! Today, we gather to wed these two, hehe, these two, hahaha, two... pe-o-ple. Now they will extange vows." the priest pulled out the paper and handed it to the kid. he cleared his throat smiled at 3 and read, "Cheese, milk, bread, shaving cream, laxitives, ... um this is a shopping list." "Hahaha! That's were I put that darnedest thing! I couldn't find joy, or love, or a life at the store. So don't try lookin there. Anypoo, you all who disagree with this here marriage, well, ya better say your mind now so I can knock your teeth out or or or say, 'Hey you! sit down and and shut the heck up!' hahaha! Or never say anything again about these two who, 'love' each other. Any buyers? huh? any one? No one? Oh, come on! There's plenty to say!" and at that moment, he jumped out of his drunk act and became serious.
"There's plenty ta say! Ya! You see these two kids up here? Your forcing these two to wed each other. Is that right? They could already be in love with some one else! Like, maybe I'm in love with the bride!"he shouted to the audience. Everyone gasped as they heard this. He turned to bride and scooped her up into his arms. "Ya, that's right! I'm in love wit the bride! And ain't none of ya gunna stop me from marring 'er! Muhahaha!" he laughed evilly and ran down the isle and out the door.
The people at the wedding agreed to form an angry mob and try to get the bride back.
3 kicked and screamed in 4's arms but he kept up the act until he brought her to an airport. "Let go of me you freak!" she yelled. "Calm down, numbuh 3. I'm bustin ya out of your tradition. Ya should be thankin me!" He dropped her and she just looked at him, stunned. "Mr. Preist?" "Mr. Preist? Nah. It's me! Numbuh 4!" he looked back and saw the angry mob running after them. "I'll explain lateh!" 4 said, and grabbed 3's hand and ran onto a plane, just before it took off. The two sat down in seats and gave a huge sigh of relief. "You know, my mom can always come back and take me back to Japan." but as 3 was saying so, a voice came over the loud speaker and said, "Um... we're kinda... under attack, so buckle your seat belts, and... don't smoke!" the speaker turned off and everyone looked out the window. They saw the angry mob from the wedding hijacked a plane and tied up the pilot. And they were trying to shoot down the plane with missiles. When the two saw, they ran to the pilots room and saw the pilot, screaming like a girl and pulling his hair out. The two just looked at each other and tossed the pilot out the window and he smashed into the other planes wind shield. "Hey angry mob! What's up?" "Turn on the wipers!" "It won't come off!" "I think you need to spray a little water." "Ya. There we go."