Chapter 1
By: Eliv
Disclaimer: I don't own Shaman King
Please Read: These are NOT the real dubs. They're just random ideas that some of my friends and I made up to make fun of the dub version. ^_^ Throw tomatoes at 4Kids!! I will try my best to mention what episode these random 'dubs' came from. Oh, and I will use their REAL names. Not the stinky ones that 4Kids came up with! LOL. Now, on with the story!!!
Episode 3Another Shaman
*Yoh and Ren's first talk with one another as they are crossing the street*
Manta: That's him! That's Tao Ren!
Yoh: Really? What's with his shorts? AAAAAHHHHH!!! MY EYES!!! THEY'RE SEEING SOMETHING THAT THEY'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE SEEING!!
Amidamaru: *covers Yoh's eyes with his hands* NOOO!! YOH-DONO'S VIRGIN EYES!!!
Yoh: AMIDAMARU! YOU'RE HANDS ARE SEE-THROUGH!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*light turns green and people cross*
Yoh: *walking like a duck with Amidamaru covering his eyes*
Manta: *to Yoh* Stop that! You look like you're drunk!
Ren: You're Yoh right?
Yoh: ……
Ren: What are you – AHHHHHH!!! MY SHORTS MUST HAVE SHRUNK IN THE WASH! *desperately trying to pull down his shorts so they don't look quite as short*
Manta: He doesn't seem so evil now…
Person: Hey you two! Walk!! You're blocking traffic!
Another Person: What's with his shorts?
Another, Another Person: Look at his hair! He looks like he was attacked with a lawnmower or something.
Person: Well there were various reports that a mutated lawnmower was attacking the region…
Another Person: Really? I have a lawnmower at home… what if it tries to eat me when I'm sleeping?
Ren: What did they say about my hair????
Yoh: It is kinda bad. For a minute there, I thought you were a shark.
Amidamaru: A shark on land?
Yoh: Yah! He could have been a new 'smart' shark. You know, like the kind on the coffee mugs, with the beach shorts and glasses.
Ren: Are you saying that sharks are stupid?
Manta: Well, they're not the smartest creatures in the world. Dolphins on the other hand are much smarter…
Yoh: See.
Ren: You said you thought I was a shark… now you're saying that sharks are stupid… ARE YOU CALLING ME STUPID???
Yoh: Well… you might be for all I know.
Ren: What???
Yoh: Yah. You could have escaped from a mental hospital or something and now you're attacking innocent people and taking big spears out of your pants and stuff like that.
Ren: I don't take spears out of my pants!
Amidamaru: Let's rewind the tape! *rewinds* There! When you cut the truck in half.
Manta: It does look like you took it out of your pants.
Ren: I DIDN'T TAKE IT OUT OF MY PANTS!!!
Yoh: Then where did you take it out of?
Ren: A… suitcase!!!
Manta: You didn't have a suitcase!
Amidamaru: What's your excuse now??
Ren: It's just the… angle! Yah the angle is bad!
Manta: *takes out his laptop* Well, we can download the episode off the internet and then I'll adjust the angle using my computer! *does all that* See, there was no suitcase.
Yoh: Adjust it so we can see if he takes it out of his pants.
Manta: Sure.
Amidamaru: Wow… moving pictures!
Ren: *mumbling to himself*
Yoh/Manta/Amidamaru: YOU DID TAKE IT OUT OF YOUR PANTS!!!!!!!!!
Ren: I DID NOT!!!
People: *watching the episode* Blah, blah… spears… out of pants…weirdo… police… nut-house… straight-jacket…
Ren: GAAAAA!! THAT'S IT! I CHALLENGE YOU TO A SHAMAN FIGHT!
People: A salmon fight? Are they going to fight with salmon?
Ren: Meet me in the graveyard.
People: That's an interesting place for a salmon fight…
*later when Yoh goes to fight Ren for the first time*
Yoh: I thought this was a party…
Ren: It is! It's your funeral!
Yoh: *shocked* Really?? I didn't bring any of my family members!!!
Ren: That's okay. I'll send your remains to them.
Yoh: But what if they get lost in the mail!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ren: I'll get them insured then.
Yoh: For how much?
Ren: Uh…
Yoh: AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!! YOUR SHORTS!!! YOU DIDN'T CHANGE THEM!!!!!!!!!!!
Ren: What? *looks down* NANI!!??? DID ALL OF THEM SHRINK???!!!
Manta: *to himself* I bet he didn't even change them.
People: *carrying torches and salmon* WE'RE HERE FOR THE SALMON FIGHT!!!!
Amidamaru: Yoh-dono! It's the attack of the rabid people with mutated salmon!!!
Ren: I can take care of them! *takes out his spear*
Yoh: YOU TOOK IT OUT OF YOUR PANTS!!!!!!
Ren: Uh… *waves his hands in front of Yoh* It was an illusion! An illusion!!
Yoh: @_@ I'm dizzy…
People: We thought this was a SALMON fight. You have a SPEAR that is NOT a SALMON. *tosses Ren a salmon* There. Now we can fight.
Ren: *catches salmon* Uh…
People: ATTACK!!!!!!!!!!
Ren: AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yoh: *watching the angry mob chasing Ren around with the salmon* I didn't think he could run that fast.
Manta: …
Amidamaru: *in cheerleading uniform* LET'S GO SALMON LET'S GO!! LET'S GO SALMON LET'S GO!!
That was the first chapter… but since I'm so nice, the second chapter is about Lyserg joining the X-Laws. This will be fun *evil grin* Please Review!