Random Events from the Shaman King

Chapter Four

Revenge with Tomatoes

By: Eliv

Ren: When will I get my own chapter?

Eliv: Maybe… I'll let you have… does chapter 150 sound good?

Ren: You probably won't get that far.

Eliv: ……. So?

Ren: I'LL NEVER GET MY CHAPTER!!!

Eliv: Fine… but you had chapter one!

Ren: No my shorts did! T_T

Eliv: But I was going to give this chapter to Lyserg. He hasn't got one yet.

Ren: But….

Eliv: I'll give you…. The next one… maybe.

Ren: Okay… ^_^

In a land were Shamans live, one man, will herd a pack of tomatoes to unleash total destruction onto another man. That is our story:

Lyserg: I must get the tomatoes…. *sees tomatoes* ^_^

Revenge with Tomatoes (Including commentaries by Ren)

Lyserg: La la lalalalalalalalalalaaaaaaaaa~! I'm going to get some companions and then I'm going to kill Hao, with this!! *holds up lots of tomatoes*

Merchant Guy: Wait a minute… What happened to my tomatoes??!!

Lyserg: Oops… gotta go!

Merchant Guy: Come back here! Gimme my tomatoes!!

Lyserg: *throws tomatoes in the air* Be free!!

Tomatoes: *falls splat on Lyserg*

Lyserg: NOOOOOOO! You aren't supposed to attack me!!! *sees the red* I'm… bleeding… help me… GGGGGGGGGGAAAAAAAA!!!!! I'M TOO YOUNG TO DIE!!!!!!! I'm bleeding to death!! Help me!! *crawls over to the feet of nearest person* I need help.

Person: Uhh… you want a napkin?

Lyserg: Will a napkin heal me?

Person: Yeah?

Lyserg: Okay!!! *takes napkin*

(Ren: WAIT A MINUTE!! LYSERG WAS IN FRIGGIN CHAPTER 2!!!! YOU KNOW? "TALES FROM THE X-LAWS?!!" YOU'RE CHEATING ME OUT OF MY CHAPTER!! WHY DOES HE GET SO MANY??!!)

Person: No problem?

Lyserg: I'M SAVED!!! Now I just need more tomatoes…

Merchant Guy: Don't look at me.

Lyserg: *puppy dog eyes*

(Ren: That pitiful being. He's not worthy of another chapter. I would have beat the stoopid guy until he gave me more tomatoes.)

Merchant Guy: ……. Oh alright. Stop that!

(Ren: WHAT THE ----!!! THAT STOOPID TACTIC WORKED??!!)

Lyserg: Thank you! *takes tomatoes* Now I just have to find Hao's hideout…

~*Later*~

Lyserg: This must be it!!!

Sign: Fluffy Kitties Parlor.

Lyserg: I know it's not that place across the street.

Sign Across the Street: Hao's Pants Pub.

Lyserg: *looks at signs again* Yep. Hao's headquarters is definitely at the Fluffy Kitties Parlor. *walks in* *runs out very fast* WHOA!! I did not want to go there…. *walks very fast to Hao's Pants Pub*

(Ren: What was in there? I wanna know!!!)

Pub: *noisy*

Lyserg: Hello? Is Hao here? Anyone??

Pub: *noisy*

Lyserg: I really need to kill Hao with my tomatoes. Can anyone tell me where he is?

Pub: *noisy*

Lyserg: Okay, I'll just find him somehow… *looks around*

Guard: Halt! This is Hao-sama's restricted area!

Lyserg: Oh, he can't possibly be there if it's restricted. Okay. *goes somewhere else*

Guard 2: Halt! This is Hao-sama's pants' restricted area!

Lyserg: Pants? I HAVE PANTS ON!!! ^_^

Guard 2: Well… he did say that anyone with pants were cool…

Lyserg: Can I go in then? ^_____^

Guard 2: I guess so… *lets Lyserg in*

(Ren: That guard is stoopid! GAA! This is not right!)

Lyserg: *sees Hao's pants on a pedestal* Wow… pants… *reaches out finger to touch the pants*

Des (rabid Hao's Pants fan-girl): STOP!!!! DO NOT TOUCH THE PANTS!!!!

Lyserg: I… can't help… it… they're soooooo… pretty!!

*slow motion start*

Lyserg: *goes to touch pants*

Des: NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lyserg: *is about an millimeter away*

Des: *runs up in slow motion and grabs Hao's pants away from Lyserg's touch in time* Ha! *realizes what she's done* NOOOOOOOO!!! I HAVE TOUCHED HAO'S SACRED PANTS WITHOUT HIS PERMISSION!!!!!

*end slow motion*

Lyserg: So?

Des: He'll… have his bunny eat me!!

Lyserg: Bunny?? I like bunnies!!!

Des: I must go and worship Hao-sama's pants so he won't feed me to his bunny! *runs off*

Lyserg: UUUUU!! Pants…

(Ren: Why does Hao get to be in this story? He was in… Chapter 2 too!! Not chapter tutu! Chapter 2... Forget it… Chapter 2 also, there we go! This isn't right! I expect to get a refund! …… WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T GET PAID!! OH SOMEONE'S GONNA DIE!!!!!)

Hao: DON'T TOUCH MY PANTS!!!!!

Lyserg: IT'S HAO!!!!!! DIEIEIEIEIEIEEIEIEIEIEIEIEIEIEIEIEEIEIEIEIEIEIEIEIE!!!!!!!!

Hao: What?

Lyserg: DIEIEIEIEIEIEIEIEIEIEIEIEIEEIIEIEIEIEIEIEIEIEIEIEIEIEIEIE!!!!!!

Hao: okay….

Lyserg: Wait… you said… AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! *covers eyes* YOU'RE NOT WEARING YOUR PANTS!!!!!!!!

Hao: …….. So?

Lyserg: ……………. MY EYES!!!!!!

Hao: What? I'm wearing shorts…

Rabid Hao Fan-girls: *sigh dreamily*

Lyserg: Put on your pants!

Hao: But I don't wanna!

Lyserg: Do it!

Hao: But I don't wanna!

Lyserg: DO IT!

Hao: I DON'T WANNA!!!

Lyserg: THEN DIEIEIEIEIEIEIEIEIEIEIEIEIEIEIEIEEIIEIEIEIEIEIEIEIEIEIEIEIEIEIEIEIEIEIE!!!

Hao: But I don't wanna die!

Lyserg: *starts pelting Hao with tomatoes* TAKE THIS AND THAT YOU EVIL FEIND!!

Hao: GGGGGGGGAAAAAAAAAA!!!! I'M BLEEDING!!!!!!!!

Lyserg: Oh Yeah!

Hao: Two can play that game! *grabs bologna* TAKE THIS AND THAT YOU EVIL PANTS TOUCHER!!!!!!

Lyserg: AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! IT'S THE ……. BOLOGNA OF DEATH!!!!!! *grabs spaghetti* TAKE THIS!!!!!!

Hao: *ducks* I LOST MY POOR MEATBALL BECAUSE YOU SNEEZED!!!!!!

Lyserg: I didn't sneeze!

Hao: Yes you did!

Lyserg: DID NOT!!!

*food fight continues*

To Be Continued

I know this chapter- along with the one before it- seem utterly unfinished… but oh well. Basically, they have a food fight and then there's some kind of outcome that you can make up and imagine happened. Okay, so… Read and Review and stay tuned for Chapter 5!