Everything goes Nutso, Ratchet and Clank style
By Soulfulzen
A Robot and his Lombax
Continuing the Everything goes Nutso series, after Ratchet and Angela's "incident" and Clank's first piss, everything will get even crazier. PG-13 for drug references, random insanity, language and slight offensiveness.
Disclaimer: Only the plotline is mine. Ratchet and all subsidiaries belong to Insomniac studioes. Text denoted with underlining was inspired by communications between myself and Warior.
Warning: If you do anything that Clank does in this fic, you will be seriously messed up! Don't do it! And don't drink in excess or smoke anything! If you do, you are beyond my help! I am a strong anti-smoker, anti-drug dude. Seriously, though, don't repeat what Clank does or says.
The day after the rastaurant incident, in the morning, Ratchet was about to wake up to a serious oddity.
Ratchet: (yawn)
He awokened and loosened up.
Ratchet: Good morning Endako.
He yawned again and tried to crack his metal fists.
Ratchet: (sound of metal scraping against metal) What the... Holy Hell!
He finally noticed that his hands were metal. He pulled off his covers and discovered metal feet and a metal torso in additon to hands. Fortunately his boxers were okay and everything under them was in mild discomfort due to his metal torso.
Ratchet: Oh...my...god! I gotta call Clank!
He ran to his videophone, being thankful for a reassuring warmth touching his legs. However, at Clank's apartment, things were worse off. Clank's legs and arms were missing half of the ring-shaped segments, from which yellow-orange tufts of fur stuck out. Clank was already up and running to his videophone. As he was about to pick it up and call Ratchet, it rang.
Clank: Hello?
Ratchet: Clank! Trouble! I'm turning metal!
Clank: Well, Ratchet, unless you are quite blind, you can see that I am growing fur. I am turning organic somehow.
Ratchet: Alright, it seems you're turning into something living, and I'm turning into a robot.
Clank: Wait! The planets! Remember how we turned up in the wrong seats?
Ratchet: Oh yeah! So maybe you're turning into a lombax! Okay, let's not panic. Let's...
He stopped. Clank's metal exterior, with the exception of his head, fell off, revealing a miniature lombax body with his head, wearing absolutely nothing. At the same time, the reassuring warmth against his legs went cold and began shrinking. He reached down and felt only a cold, hard, smooth surface.
Ratchet: START PANICKING! AAAAAHHHHHHHH!
Clank: AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
It had been two weeks since the insanity begun, about a week and four days since the incident where Ratchet realized what was happening, and Angela has finally left the hospital, and she has her tongue back. Ratchet is a robot, and looks like a metal statue of his former self, minus the fur, which he has been shedding furiously over the last week. Clank has become a mini Ratchet-clone. Angela, once home, planned to call Ratchet up and asked what the hell happened. In her apartment on Grelbin, she decided to make the call.
Angela: Well, here goes nothing. (dials Ratchet's house)
Over at Ratchet's house, about an hour earlier, he was working on disabling the videophone screen temporarily. He even hooked a button up to activate and deactivate it. Suddenly, Clank walked in the door, cringing.
Clank: Need...bathroom...and...food!
Ratchet: One at a time!
Clank: Oh. Yes.
Of course, Clank's organic voice box gave off his old voice perfectly, as did Ratchet's new mechanical one. After Clank relieved his bowels and stomach, he began to chat with the complacent Ratchet.
Ratchet: Man, you were hungry!
Clank: Yes, well, I have been inhaling the fumes of a burning plant.
Ratchet: What? You've been...smoking?
Clank: I don't recognize your terminology.
Ratchet: Alright, what plant did you burn?
Clank: The man I bought it from called it "Cannibis".
Ratchet just gawked at the now-stoned robot, er, lombax. Interrupting the conversation was a ring on the videophone.
Ratchet: I'll get it.
He picked up the phone and heard Angela on the other end.
Angela: Ratchet?
Ratchet: Angela! Hi!
Angela: Hi Ratchet. First off, what happened at the restaurant?
Ratchet: Alright, this may take a while. What was happening was really weird. Maybe a visual would be more effective...
Clank: I would agree in the utmost.
Angela: Yeah. And what's wrong with the video camera on your phone?
Ratchet: I added an on/off switch.
Angela: But why?
Ratchet: You'll see. It's really weird.
Angela: Just turn on your video camera.
Ratchet: Okay.
He turned on his video camera, giving Angela live, streaming video of him as a robot and Clank as a midget lombax. Angela just stared.
Angela: Uhh, is your camera messed up or have you become a robot and Clank a lombax?
Ratchet: Uh, it's the second one.
Angela: Oh.
And she fainted. Ratchet and Clank raced over to Angela's house on Grelbin to make sure she was okay, and chappie 3 ends as the sun sets on the robot and midget lombax flying into the sunset.
Author's Note: The contest to take over this fic is OVER. I'm going to finish it, as it's gotten quite a bit of praise. Everyone who has reviewed is one of the beautiful people. You all rock.