Title: Awakened

Author: Mitch

Series: Part 8

Rating: R

Pairing: Clark/Lex

Category: Romance/Angst

Feedback: Makes hurting my brain worth it.

**********

"What the hell is this?"

Lex looked up from his paper to see Martha Kent standing quite unhappily in his living room with a basket full of fruits and vegetables.

"I'm going to go out on a limb here and say it's my produce."

Martha rolled her eyes and impatiently plopped the basket down on the coffee table. Once there, she picked up the videotape that was sitting at the top and wiggled it in his face. "This, Lex."

"Thank you, Martha, I'm feeling much better. No, they haven't found the muggers yet, but it's sweet of you to ask."

She pursed her lips. "Lex, when I came to see you the servants said you were sleeping. And you wouldn't be sitting here if you weren't feeling better, now stop dodging the subject. I want to know what my son is doing with this videotape."

"Maybe you need to ask your son."

"Maybe you need to tell me why you filmed yourself telling my son that you love him!"

Lex's stomach twisted rather unpleasantly against his sore ribs. "Say that again?"

"You heard me, Lex."

He took a deep breath, processing this discovery. Clark kept the tape. Something resembling ecstasy flowered through his chest at the thought of Clark watching it, needing to hear its contents. But something resembling fear for his life grabbed his stomach, reminding him that somehow the tape had crossed Martha's path and the cat was out of the bag.

"Martha, I can explain..."

"I certainly hope so. Because if you think you can just toy with my son--"

"I wasn't toying! I-I mean..."

"Lex, he is a 17-year-old boy. He knows nothing of the world, of relationships--"

"I'm well aware of how old he is, Martha. If you would just--"

"And then you waltz in and drop these new ideas on his head, warping his sensitivities and--"

"Okay, warping is kind of a harsh word--"

"...using words like love and forever, making Clark think you want him--

"It was never like that! I--"

"...and then breaking his heart like it was a cheap wine glass!"

"I DIDN'T MEAN T-- wait, what?"

"That's right. I don't know what you said to him, but his heart is broken. I've never seen him so despondent, like he's just lost his... well, his best friend. What I can't understand is how you can do something as sweet as a video love letter, and then drop him the next minute like he doesn't even matter to you."

"A video what?" Lex stammered. "Martha, I think we've crossed lines here."

"He loves you, Lex."

Lex fluttered his eyelids trying to believe what he was hearing. "And... you're okay with this?"

"Well, I thought I was. Until I found out that Lex Luthor is nothing more than a player."

"Martha, you'll have to forgive me, but I'm still lost."

She put the tape down on the table next to the basket and sat next to Lex on the couch. "Lex, listen to me. I've known for a long time that things between you and Clark were a little more... involved than either of you let on."

"But I--"

"Okay, maybe you didn't even admit it to yourselves, but I could see it. Even before he went away, there was always a spark between you, a current running below the surface."

"So you just threw up your Pride flag and started marching?" Lex asked disbelievingly.

"Well, no. I can't say I wasn't uncomfortable with it at first. I didn't know much about you for one thing. As for Clark, I quietly hoped that it was just a little boy crush on someone older and wiser that he looked up to."

"And now?"

"Now, I know you. I know that you're a good person who puts those he cares about before himself. And after all that Clark has been through, I consider it a blessing that he is able to love in any capacity, and he couldn't have chosen anyone better than you."

Lex smiled at this. Martha reached up to gently touch his face, then quickly pulled her hand away, obviously remembering why she came over in the first place.

"That is until you decided to stop loving him."

"I will never stop loving Clark!" Lex bit his tongue, feeling his face start to burn.

"Then what happened? Lex, tell me! I know he was here that night two weeks ago when he didn't come home from school. He was practically floating the next time I saw him. But when he got home from school the next day, he was holding back tears and he has been ever since. Lana's name was mentioned, but I know it wasn't really about her. I know he would rather have you."

"It just won't work, Martha. There are so many factors you don't know about."

"It doesn't matter, Lex. Don't you see that? That's what makes love so wonderful. It can transcend any obstacle that the world throws at it."

"It's not that easy--"

"Lex. Do you love my son?"

Lex closed his mouth. Finally, he looked at the floor and nodded, unable to lie about the only truth he'd ever known.

"Then go to him. Love him. Let him love you." She kept her eyes locked on him for a moment longer to let the meaning of her words sink in, and then she got up to go.

Lex looked at the tape she left on the coffee table and winced. He knew what he had to do.

**********

Two weeks.

Clark sat in the Talon working on his third cup of coffee, staring absently out the window cheerily decorated for the 4th of July, with only two words spinning through his head. Two weeks.

It had been two weeks since he last talked to Lex, since Lex had told him to never call again. He cried himself to sleep that night, thinking that the pain couldn't possibly be more unbearable. But in the following days, he had been overtaken by the same numbness and detachment that he thought he was finally escaping, which, he soon discovered, was much worse.

He didn't have Lex to turn to, and he didn't feel comfortable discussing much of anything with his parents anymore, so he turned to Lana. He had no intention of playing on her feelings for him, but he needed to feel cared about, to stay in touch with his emotions despite the pain of Lex's rejection. To outrun the chilling emptiness that blurred the edges of his consciousness.

Lana approached the table with a fourth cup.

"Not that I expect anything more than the usual monosyllable answer, but are you sure you're okay?"

Another perk to Lana's company. She could be concerned without being pushy.

"Yup."

She sighed. "Okay. But you know I'm here when you're ready to talk."

"I know." He smiled at her genuinely and she squeezed his shoulder before going to check on her other tables.

It was in those moments he felt Lex's presence. The moments of feeling important, like someone was willing to devote their life to him and him alone, that he thought back to the heavenly hours he had spent in Lex's arms. The moments that Lex made everything perfect.

He nearly choked on his coffee when he saw a flash of white scalp outside the window, thinking that his flashbacks were finally turning into hallucinations and that he was at risk of being locked up for the second time in his short life. He soon realized that he wasn't hallucinating at all, and that Lex was actually entering the Talon, face still slightly bruised, and managing to look just as stately as ever leaning gracefully on a black cane.

Their eyes met and it was like fire. All the emotions Clark feared were leaving him came flaming back through his stomach, his heart, and his face, leaving him unable to move. He knew Lex was feeling the same thing by the sudden quiver of his cane, but Lex's movement clearly remained intact as he abruptly turned around and left. Before the door closed behind him, he lost his balance on the cane and started to topple. As always, Clark was there to break his fall.

No one inside the Talon even noticed Clark go, and he wouldn't have cared anyway. The only person he wanted to notice him was in his arms, inches from the ground, and looking up at him with those enchanted grey eyes. On a sudden impulse, Clark leaned down to kiss him. The instant their noses brushed, however, Lex turned his face to the side, leaving nothing but ear for Clark's lips. Clark sighed, discouraged, having no idea that his breath on Lex's ear sent chills up the older boy's spine.

"Help me up, Clark."

Even with such a cold tone, the sound of his name on Lex's lips made Clark want to sing. Instead, he did as he was told and soon he and Lex were standing face to face, close enough that Clark was tempted to try the kiss again, but resisted.

"Why, Lex? Why don't you want me?" He knew it sounded lame, but the heartache had returned with renewed vigor and he couldn't help himself.

"It's complicated. You're too young and... and it's complicated, okay?"

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"This." Lex held up the issue of the Inquisitor Clark had dropped in the mansion. "I got my guy at the Inquisitor to pull all the unsold issues, but who's to say another paper won't do the same thing? Your involvement with me will only make things worse."

"Worse for you, you mean," Clark spat, suddenly angry. "Everything was fine when I was a secret, but now that I'm back in the public eye, you don't want to risk it."

"Clark, there are more risks than just this. For both of us."

"It's all business with you, isn't it? Who cares how perfect things could be between us, or how wonderful you make me feel? Just as long as you look good to the press and you aren't written out of the inheritance."

"I'm thinking of you, Clark! A relationship between us would never work!"

"You didn't even give it a chance! You stuck with me even when I was being an asshole to you, and then when I started coming around, you dropped me."

"You weren't being an asshole, Clark, you had every right to hate me. I violated you. I... I raped you."

"No!"

"Yes, Clark. You never would have given into me in Seattle if you hadn't been under the influence of the meteor rock. You were right when you said I brainwashed you."

"No, I wasn't, Lex! I was angry and scared and I was lashing out. But I've had a lot of time to think since then and I finally understand my feelings. You didn't plant the idea of loving you into my head. You awakened it."

"What?"

"I had feelings for you long before any of this started. I just didn't want to admit it to myself. You made me realize it was more than that, and that it was okay."

Lex stood still, knowing he should argue further, but not being able to do it. Clark reached out tentatively to touch his face, and Lex let himself be soothed. Never before had he been so vulnerable to another person, so unable to control his feelings as he was with Clark. But he knew that a relationship between them would be harder on Clark than anybody else, and he had to at least try to spare him that.

"Clark, stop," he whispered through half-formed tears.

"Lex, do you love me?"

Again with that damned question. What was it with the Kents and knowing exactly which buttons to press?

Lex bowed his head, letting the tears stream down. Clark embraced him possessively and breathed into his ear again.

"I love you, too," he whispered.

Without another word, Clark lifted Lex into his arms and carried him back to the car. Lex felt a distant feeling of déjà vu as Clark lovingly situated his legs in the passenger seat, then ran around to the driver's side and started the car.

**********

It's never been this beautiful, Lex thought drowsily.

He sat between Clark's legs on the couch in his bedroom, looking through the large window next to the balcony doors as the sun set outside the mansion. It was a hypnotic swirl of gold and pink and Lex shivered at the combined sensations of Clark breathing in his ear and strong hands rubbing over his stomach.

How a thing as ancient as the sun can seem new in the arms of love...

Clark's hands stilled and his breathing became uneven.

"Clark?"

"What does it mean, Lex?" he asked timidly.

"What does what mean?"

Clark lifted the front of Lex's shirt and rested his hand on the bandage covering the frightening symbol.

Lex's protective instincts kicked in, and he nearly changed the subject, not wanting to upset his young friend. But Clark was so warm against him, so true, the need to confide overrode everything else.

"My father calls it the Eye of Exile. I'm not really sure where it came from. I looked for it in history books and on the internet, but I never saw anything like it. I guess he designed it himself."

Lex took a shaky breath and Clark kissed the back of his head comfortingly, giving him courage to continue.

"Lionel always prided himself on how he never let his heart rule his head. He believes that the key to power is being in complete control of your emotions at all times, never letting your enemies see you vulnerable. He used to say 'The eye of desperation sees what it wants to see. The eye of exile sees the truth.' That's how he knows so much. That's why nobody can ever do anything without his knowledge of it. Because he never lets his feelings cloud his judgment. It's almost as if he was born heartless."

Clark shivered behind him, closing his grip around Lex until it was almost painful.

"Clark? Clark, what's the matter?"

"I'm okay," Clark said with a deep breath. "Go on."

"The, uh... The symbol became an obsession to him, like some kind of deranged religion. He decided to make it his trademark. Whenever one of his enemies - or even someone close to him - tried to do something behind his back..." He swallowed back his tears before going on. "...he sent his men after them. To carve the Eye into their skin so they knew--"

"The Eye of Exile sees all," Clark finished for him. Lex nodded as Clark leaned forward to rest his chin on Lex's shoulder. "What did you do, Lex? What made Lionel so angry?"

Lex took an anxious breath to respond, and Clark closed his eyes tightly, wondering if he really wanted to know.

"I... I can't talk about it. Please, Clark, just hold me. Let's just enjoy what's left of the sunset."

Strangely relieved, Clark squeezed his love and kissed his ear. They watched the sun finish its downward path and Clark smiled at the tightening in his heart as Lex drifted to sleep against him. "I love you," he whispered as he too fell asleep.

A short while later, they both awoke to the sounds of distant cracking and colorful light. Wordlessly, they rose from the couch and walked toward the balcony doors, Clark never once letting go of Lex's midsection.

They stepped out onto the balcony and Lex rested his head back on Clark's shoulder, smiling. Fireworks were exploding in the sky above a nearby park and a band playing the Star-Spangled Banner could be faintly heard.

Clark smiled too as he bent down slightly to rest his cheek against Lex's. They were thinking the same thing and they knew it. Although the fireworks were for Independence Day, they couldn't help but take it as a sign. A sign that the universe had witnessed these two lost boys finally come together in love, and saw that it was good.

Lex turned around and wrapped his arms around Clark's neck, spellbound by the brilliant reflections in those haunting eyes. "Clark."

"Yeah?"

"I love you, too."

Clark smiled brightly, squinting against the glare of his happiness. He inched toward Lex slowly, giving the older boy plenty of time to turn away if he wanted to. But he didn't. Their lips met like a pair of disembodied feathers meeting in a windy sky, one from a crow, one from a dove. So different in every aspect, but beautiful in their own ways. Perfect contrast, a truly magnificent union.

The kiss deepened and Clark finally backed away, breathless. "I need you, Lex."

"I need you, too." Lex pushed forward to kiss him again but Clark held him back.

"No. I mean I need you. Like we were before." Lex studied his face and Clark smiled again, drunk with desire. "Sometimes, when I think about it long enough, I can remember what it felt like... I can still feel you in me. Let me feel it again."

Lex thought he would go mad. But he managed to take Clark by the hand and lead him back into the bedroom where they reconnected at last, gently, yet urgently, the fireworks illuminating the room all the while.

Outside, a figure stood behind a gathering of trees, and saw it all. Saw the young couple come outside to see the spectacle. Saw the love between them, the passion in their kiss. Saw the desperation of their retreat into the bedroom.

"Lex," Clark panted, "it's like fire."

The figure pulled a key from a pants pocket...

"For you, Clark," Lex replied, "only for you."

Slipped the key soundlessly into the front door of the mansion...

"Fire," the boys said together as the heat of their passion drove away the darkness and their exile finally ended.

Entered...