Samara: Yep! You were right.
Kaori: I knew it...
Disclaimers: WE DON'T OWN: Monopoly, Dora The Explorer, Abraham Lincoln, Ghostbusters, Scooby Doo, the song 'Roses Are Red' by Aqua, Robin (or anything else from 'Batman'), Grandpa Joe (or anything else from Willy Wonka), Mozart, Michael Jackson. And still Tokyo Mew Mew, and everything else we said in previous chapters. WE DONT OWN ANYTHING PEOPLE!
Chapter Six: Drama Time!
0000000000000000000000000000000000000000
CAFE
Ryou moon walked out on a stage. He was wearing ...uh...an umbrella? Sure, that sounds random enough.
Keiichiro walked out with the monopoly guy in his arms. "My Baby!" he screamed. "We may as well call you Pie 2, it's sure as hell shorter than 'Keiichiro'." Umbrella man said, hands on his hips.
The monopoly guy started to have a heart attack, and with 2.73 minutes, he was dead.
Keiichiro wailed, "I'll never forget his last words: 'That elephant ate my Lamborghini!'"
"Well he like 8 billion years old." Ryou pointed out.
"BUT HE NEVER ATE MY YAMMMMS!" Keiichiro whined.
"Oh suck it up! We got a bigger problem. Zakuro and those two Love Muffins are blackmailing us!"
"I love muffins," Keiichiro sighed. Ryou stared.
"Can I light you on fire?" he asked, one eyebrow raised.
"Anytime," he responded.
"Actually, before that, let's go on a mission to steal the blackmail!" Ryou said, ripping off his umbrella to reveal a Speedo, which made Kaori scream in disgust across the world. Samara was still laughing over Ryou calling Pudding and Tart 'love muffins'.
"That's a piffle in an ocean of buttercups," some English guy pointed out.
Keiichiro came out in a black uniform. "TIME TO SWIPE!" they jumped into action...
Zakuro, and Love Muffins
They were watching 'Dora The Explorer Goes Porn', and just after they told 'Humper No Humping!', they heard a crash upstairs.
"Holy heat waves, batman!" yelled Robin.
Pudding looked up at Robin. "Wow, you're almost as ugly as Pie!" she yelled.
"Just because I wear tights and my underwear on the outside, doesn't mean- JUMPING JAGUARS BATMAN!"
"Why do you keep yelling Batman? He's not here!"
"And what's with these gay phrases, JUST MAKE UP YOUR MIND ALREADY!"
"That's it! You're deleted!" Zakuro pushed a button, and he went away.
Right then, Ryou and Keiichiro rolled down the stairs. "AH! RUGBURNS ON RUGBURNS ON RUGBURNS!" Keiichiro screamed, still not getting the point that rug. burns.
"Well you just blew out cover," Ryou complained.
Pudding whipped out her sickle. Zakuro took out a gun. Tart was dazed by the sickle again. Captian Zoom pulled out a tazer. Keiichiro laughed at the thought of a kitten with a weapon. Zoom tazed him, resulting in severe brain damage...which he already had anyway. Then Ryou pulled out a wrecking ball with spikes on the end! OH NO!
For some strange reason, he did not notice one of the spikes had gone straight through his leg. When he tried to throw it, he only tripped himself, landing on the wrecking ball and getting stabbed some more.
So he pulled a sledge hammer from his back pocket.
"Although I am currently stuck to a ball of terror and pain, I will continue to smash the living daylights out of your blackmail file proving that I'm gay. Which I'm...not." he said weakly.
"You suck at lying, " Zakuro said flatly, snapping a picture of him basically beating the living crap out of himself.
Pudding was holding the sickle up to Keiichiros neck and he was pinned to a wall.
"Any last words, little dutch boy?" she asked.
"Pudding...y-you wouldn't kill me, would you?"
"Damn straight I would, lil man-woman." she said angrily. The others gasped.
"Not if I get to it first!" Tart screamed lunging, knives in hand.
The 'Love Muffins' cut Keiichiro up into tiny squares, and sent him off to be made into cheese cubes.
"Wow. Those Love Muffins are violent!" said Ryou.
Pudding and Tart gasped. This was the first time they heard someone actually call them Love Muffins.
"Okay, here's the rules on the Love Muffin thing: We can only call each other that. NO ONE ELSE!" Tart explained.
"And ya know what the consequence is...?" Pudding said, arming her sickle behind her back.
"No I don't, do tell me." Ryou actually said innocently. An evil grin spread across their faces and in one quick motion they sliced Ryou up into beef jerky bits and shipped him off.
"Well there goes our blackmail plan...hm...Lettuce has yet to be blackmailed..." Zakuro let out an evil laugh.
Pudding was polishing her sickle, Tart was once again dazed, and Oompa Loompas were cleaning up the blood stains.
LETTUCES HOUSE
Lettuce was home alone singing 'Roses Are Red' in her very own opera version. She was typing up a school report...right when the BMS (black mail squad) jumped in the scene!
"Boy am I glad we're not called the Pink Mail Squad!" Pudding laughed. It took a few minutes, but when Tart finally got it they had to use chloroform on him he was laughing so loud.
"Woah, it wasn't that funny," said Lettuce, still in opera voice.
"SHUT UP YES IT WAS!" yelled the love muffins. Then Lettuce went to the bathroom. " Don't bother MEEEE!" she sang.
The BMS looked at each other with sly smiles. Zakuro threw gasoline at the door and Tart lit a match. Pudding sang "Triumph by fire..." Tart threw the match and they ran away. Zakuro counted down. "3...2...1!"
BOOM!
They ran into the bathroom (or what was left of it) and saw Lettuce eating soap. "No! Please don't tell Ryou! I love him!" she sang.
Zakuro was already busy snapping pictures.
"Wait a minute!" Pudding thought. "What does Lettuce have that we want?"
"The code to get into the legendary land of candy!" Zakuro shouted.
"Duh," Tart rolled his eyes.
"Okay, we got our blackmail," said Zakuro. They left Lettuce and her soap ALONE.
BACK AT ZAKUROS PLACE...
"I don't think I'll ever look at soap the same," Pudding gagged when they later gathered to go over the days events.
"Okay, copy and paste time!" Zakuro furiously went to google and searched for Abraham Lincoln. "MUHAHA!" Zakuro laughed.
"Woah. That coffee has definitely done something to her brain," Tart whispered to Pudding and she nodded.
"Let's check out sales of the Ryou beef sticks and Keiichiro cheese cubes," they skipped off to a laptop.
Just then the TV turned on with an important news flash. "It seems that a rash of child poisonings are spreading through random countries," it announced. "Those who survive turn cannibalistic. Scientists are suggesting it's the jerky and cheese cubes recently shipped in. Their origin is being investigated."
Tart and Pudding looked at each other. "Uh...let's just ignore that...heh heh..." They turned off the TV.
Just then, the ghost of Ryou and Keiichiro came down the chimney!
"Ho ho ho I'm Santa Claus!" Keiichiros ghost boomed. Ryou's ghost slapped him "We're not supposed to be seen, idiot,"
"Oh. Okay well WE'RE NOT HERE, OKAY!" Keiichiros ghost screamed.
"I specialize in ghost exterminating," Pudding grinned, looking at them, grabbing her sickle.
"GAH SICKLES!" both ghosts yelled in terror. "I never did like wheat..." Keiichiros ghost muttered.
Suddenly the ghost busters song started to play and a Scooby doo type chase broke out.
Tart was singing the ghost buster theme. Pudding was on a sickle rampage. The ghosts ran.
Suddenly, Ryous ghost tripped and Pudding cut him up into a million ghost-bits. Keiichiros ghost managed to jump out the window, even though he could walk through walls.
"Damn ghosts..." said Pudding.
Tart was still singing. "You can stop now Tart."
"STOP!"
"Oh okay," he said, embarrassed.
Suddenly Mozart started to play and Pudding and Tart plopped over asleep. Zakuro didn't hear it because she shoved q-tips in her ears to shut out Tarts horrible singing.
MORNING
Zakuro had huge bags under her eyes, for she was up all night working. "GET UP YOU MUFFIN BERRIES!" she yelled, half asleep.
"Oh I love your muffin berries, dear grandmother!" mumbled Pudding, still asleep.
"I second that motion. Let's raise a cheer for the Moose foundation!" Tart groaned, also still sound asleep.
"What is up with you guys and saying random things as you sleep?" Zakuro asked.
"Thank you, Algernon!" Pudding pointed.
"Sure I'll eat those cream puffs, if you put chocolate on the sprinkle ma bob," said Tart.
The random quotes just kept coming:
"Michael Jackson at your window!"
"Woah I think my cancer is eating itself!"
"I swear that fluffy bunny had a ray gun."
"I secretly eat my poop and watch gay children shows."
"I'm addicted to gambling."
"I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE BATMAN!" That time, it was really Robin who flew though the window and kept pouncing on them till they finally woke up.
"ROBIN! BATMAN IS DEAD! GET IT TOGETHER, BOY!" Grandpa Joe yelled.
"What the hell?" Zakuro asked.
"Ooh I'll take him on," said Tart.
"Hey! I'm the one with the sickle!" complained Pudding.
"There's more of enough of me for two love muffins!" Grandpa Joe said.
GASP!
"OH IT'S ON NOW!" They pounced on him and sliced him into soy tofu.
"That was so easy it was disappointing," said Tart angrily. Pudding agreed and they blasted off into space to fight purple space monkeys.
"There go my ninja children!" cried Zakuro.
Then a note fell from the sky saying:
Zakuro,
We'll be back to get the code for the candy land place. Call if you need up sooner.
-P and T
Zakruo scribbled a note to reply on a napkin and threw it into the sky for Pelly the magic Giraffe to delivered. I said:
P and T,
Take your time, monkeys are ugly anyway. I'll be practicing my arrowism while you're gone. There's leftover macaroni in the fridge.
-Zakuro
Zakuro went off, so let's visit Mint now, shall we?
0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000
Samara: I bet you never would have guessed that Pudding and Tart were assassins.
Kaori: That was a real shocker.
Samara: Anyway, next chapter will be up really soon again. Look for it.