Title: Surprises
Series: Part 11
Rating: R
Pairing: Clark/Lex
Category: Romance/Angst
Spoilers: None
A/N: Takes places a few hours after the end of Jolt.
**********
Clark first became aware of the thin blanket wrapped tightly around his body, not even beginning to cover his legs. Next came the smells, the fresh scents of cut grass, saw dust, and hay, the old and comforting smell of the couch in the hayloft. Lastly, he realized that beneath the blanket, he was completely naked.
With this his features melted into a lazy smile. Without bothering to open his eyes, he stretched out his legs and pointed his toes, allowing the blood to begin the flow that had been cut off by sleeping on the small couch. He wrapped the blanket more tightly around himself and remembered his long night of love making with Lex. Not much of it had taken place here on the couch, but this is where they had ended up.
The night had started out intense and needful. Clark's emotional wounds had been irritated again and he took from Lex hungrily as Lex gave everything he had to make Clark whole.
After that, things had slowed down. Clark opened up a cooler behind the couch, revealing his stash of sodas, and he and Lex shared an icy can of Coke. They sat in each other's arms completely naked, a bold move on Kent property that neither would have dared to make had they not been in the midst of their post coital haze. Passing the can back and forth, they talked about nothing in particular.
And it was nice. Both Clark and Lex wondered why they couldn't be this way more often; no deadlines, no curfews, no disruptive outside forces. Just Clark and Lex, enjoying each other's company.
It wasn't until Clark started to dose off, that Lex took a drop of moisture from the soda can and gently massaged Clark's nipple with it. After that, the talking ceased, the Coke can was discarded, and they began the next round of blinding pleasure. Though it wasn't nearly as urgent as the first time, it was still unnerving in its beauty.
But now as Clark lay on the couch with the soft light of dawn glowing softly through his eyelids, he felt the inevitable disappointment that came with the combination of the stirring between his legs, and the knowledge that Lex had already gone home. That is until he opened his eyes and saw Lex gazing at him from the seat in front of the desk.
"There's my beautiful boy," Lex half-whispered.
"Lex," Clark lifted his head. "You're still here."
"Always," Lex said as he crossed the room to kneel next to Clark. He ran his fingers through the rumpled hair of his lover and kissed him deeply. "Get dressed."
Clark pulled at Lex's shirt with a sly grin creeping across his lips. "Wouldn't you rather get undressed?"
"All in good time, love. But right now, we have to go."
Clark sat up then, careful to keep the raggedy old quilt wrapped around his legs, and reached for the Coke can next to him on the floor. He took several long swallows to wash away the taste of morning, not even caring that the soda was warm. He emptied the contents of the can, and then burped softly as he rubbed the sleep from his eyes. "Go where?" he asked.
"The city." Before Clark could respond, Lex handed Clark a clean, neatly folded T-shirt and pair of jeans.
"Lex, I can't. I have chores."
"Not today, you don't," Lex responded with a wink. Then he picked up a small gym bag and headed for the stairs. "I'll put the rest of your things in the car. Be ready when I get back."
"My things? Lex--"
But Lex was already gone. Still too sleepy to go after him, Clark gave in and put on his clothes. He blushed slightly when he grabbed his folded pants and a pair of blue briefs fell out onto the floor. He picked them up and spread them out to get a better look. They weren't at all immodest, but they were definitely more revealing than any of the undergarments Clark wore, which mostly consisted of boxers. He slipped into them and closed his eyes happily at their snug fit, the way the expensive material clung to his skin.
Lex bought me underwear, he thought giddily as he laughed to himself. Lex Luthor bought me underwear!
He finished dressing just as Lex was coming back up the stairs. Clark sat down to put on his shoes, but Lex took them away.
"Do it in the car. We're going to be late."
"Late for what, Lex?" Clark asked with exaggerated innocence, really beginning to enjoy the mystery.
"Breakfast." Lex planted a quick kiss onto Clark's lips and grabbed his hand, leading him out of the loft.
Just as they reached the door, they kissed again quickly and disconnected, knowing that Jonathan was usually up before sunrise and not wanting to risk him seeing. A surge of regret ran through Clark's mind. He hated keeping things from his father. He was so happy and all he wanted was to be able to share it with those who meant the most to him. But until Jonathan became more accepting of Lex's role in their lives, the truth would just have to wait.
And sure enough, as Clark climbed into the passenger side of Lex's car, Jonathan watched from the field, sitting quite still in the seat of his tractor. Clark didn't notice and therefore didn't say anything, but Lex saw him. And there was something even more disconcerting than usual about his steely gaze; possibly the fact that they were making direct eye contact and Jonathan wasn't even attempting to hide the animosity he felt, as if without Martha in the way, he had no reason to.
Lex waved before getting into his own seat, but Jonathan remained motionless. He looked almost eerie in the early morning glow as he sat in the middle of the field, his shoulders slightly hunched, the silent tractor waiting beneath him. He reminded Lex of a rattlesnake, coiled and ready to strike. Despite the fact that he had already gotten the trip to Metropolis okayed with Clark's parents, he felt extremely uneasy about being watched in this way.
Taking a shallow breath, he started the car and turned to Clark who was smiling widely at him, his eyes still puffy from just waking up.
"What, no questions?" Lex asked. "You're not even going to try to figure this out?"
Clark shook his head. "I like surprises."
With that, Lex shifted into gear and smoothly pulled out onto the road toward the brightening horizon and the city of Metropolis.
**********
Taking the last few bites of his omelet and washing it down with a sip of coffee, Lex smiled at Clark who was ravenously shoveling forkful after forkful of pancakes into his mouth. They were in a quiet restaurant in Metropolis, right next to a window with a view so high and all-encompassing it made Lex dizzy, and somehow all he could look at was the hungry boy
before him. Finally coming up for air, and a drink of water, Clark noticed his audience of one.
"Wha?" he said through his mouthful.
"You're eating like you just finished a marathon," Lex chuckled.
Clark took several long swallows of his water, followed by a satisfied sigh. "Not a marathon," he said picking up his fork. "Just a night with you. What was it, four? Five times?"
"Sshh," Lex warned, though more for his own sake than for anyone who might hear.
"And with my parents next door," Clark went on. "I thought my heart would never stop pounding."
Lex dropped his hand onto Clark's, which was resting on the table, unable to speak through the surge of adrenaline the memory gave him.
"And then when you had me bent over the railing…"
Before Clark could go on, Lex leaned over the table and took a quick but very demanding kiss, leaving Clark somewhat dazed. Nobody in the nearly empty restaurant seemed to notice, but Lex wasn't sure he would have cared if they did.
"Careful," he told Clark mischievously. "You wouldn't want me to ravage you right here on the table."
"Wouldn't I?" Clark teased, slowly licking a drop of syrup from his finger.
Lex closed his eyes and took another drink of his coffee. "Finish your breakfast," he muttered in defeat.
Clark did just that, and when he had cleaned his plate, he joined Lex in a cup of coffee. Lex's hand resumed its position on top of Clark's, and they gazed into each other's eyes for a long time before Clark spoke.
"Thank you for this," he said softly.
"They do have good pancakes here, don't they," Lex said with a wink.
"Lex, I'm serious! Thank you for planning all of this, for thinking of me."
"Not a moment goes by that I'm not thinking of you," Lex said, his own voice softening. "Besides, we don't get enough time to just… be with each other. I mean, sure, you save my life once or twice a week, and horrifying circumstances seem to keep throwing us in the same general direction." Clark smiled at this. "But I think we both need some quiet time together, just to enjoy each other."
Clark's smile nearly began to glow as he was reminded just how well Lex knew him. But at the back of his mind, he felt a slight twinge of worry. There was just a touch of sadness in Lex's eyes, regret in his tone. But it was replaced so quickly with love and affection, that Clark forgot about it.
"I love you, Lex."
"I love you too, beautiful."
They shared another moment of silence, during which time Clark remembered his new underwear. Leaning in closer, as if anyone around them would even know what he was referring to, he said, "And thank you for the gift."
Lex seemed not to understand, but the light in his eyes soon turned on. "The first of many. Today is your day."
Clark shook his head. "Today is Our day. So what's next?"
"Why don't we go find out?"
Within the next five minutes, Lex had paid the bill, ushered Clark to the elevators, and they were on their way to the first floor of the immense building.
"Isn't your car parked on one of the basement levels?" Clark asked.
"Yeah, it is."
"So why the first floor?"
Lex smirked playfully. "Because we're not taking my car."
Clark knew he wouldn't get anymore out of Lex, so he just gave up.
"You trust me don't you?" Lex shot.
Refusing to dignify such a question with a vocal response, Clark grabbed Lex tightly in his arms and kissed him heavily, pushing him up against the side of the elevator and lifting him off the floor a few inches. Lex let himself be taken, opening his mouth willingly to the insatiable tongue that sought entrance. They kissed until Lex thought he would pass out from lack of oxygen, and as if sensing his discomfort, Clark pulled away from his mouth and began work on his neck. Biting and sucking a line up to Lex's ear, causing the skin to turn an almost nonexistent pink, Clark began to pull at the bottom of Lex's shirt, breathing loudly when he finally got to the warm skin of his lover's stomach.
"Clark, we have to stop. We'll be on the ground soon."
"Don't worry about it," Clark said as he reached for the emergency stop button.
Grabbing Clark's hand, Lex shook his head. "If you stop the elevator, the emergency bell will ring."
"Well, this is an emergency," Clark said breathlessly, barely able to keep his eyes open in the fog of his arousal. "We haven't made love in almost six hours."
Lex looked down at his wristwatch. "Actually, it's only been four and a half. Besides, that doesn't come until later."
"Leeeeex!" Clark whined.
"Good things come to those who wait, Clark. I promise I'll keep you occupied in the meantime."
Lex gave Clark a sweet kiss on the tip of the nose, and they barely had time to straighten out their clothing before the elevator opened on the ground floor to a large group of people waiting to get on. Clark gave Lex an embarrassed smile and felt his ears go hot as he made his way through the
cluster of men and women, thinking of what he had almost done on the elevator they were about to board.
But he didn't have much time to think on this, because just as they were going through the revolving doors at the front of the building, Clark noticed the stretch limousine that was waiting by the curb. He stopped in his tracks, astounded by the size of it. He couldn't even remember seeing one that big on television.
"There must be a star in town or something," he half whispered to Lex.
"There is," Lex replied pointing toward the limo.
Clark's gaze followed the extended finger and saw the chauffeur standing next to the back door of the limousine, holding up a sign that said CK in elegant, cursive letters.
"This is for me?" Clark felt his throat constricting.
"Calvin Klein actually," Lex said matter-of-factly. "I wonder if I can get an autograph."
Clark shoved Lex's shoulder slightly. "Tease me all you want, Lex. I still love you."
Lex's smile widened and he held up his hand, gesturing for Clark to go ahead and climb in the door that the chauffeur was now holding open for him. Clark practically jumped inside and Lex followed quickly after him, relieved to shut the door on the world and enjoy the quiet privacy of the limo. Lex used to love the crowded feel of Metropolis, the constant shoving of people
on the sidewalk, the congestion of the traffic during peak hours of the day. It all made him feel so connected, like he was really part of something, no matter how insignificant he was.
Nowadays, the only thing that made him feel that way was Clark. And the hustle of the city streets around him only seem to get in the way of their connection, cluttering up their shared energy like static from a radio getting in the way of a favorite tune.
As if reading his mind, Clark started messing around with the buttons on the console next to him until he finally found the one that raised the partition between the driver and the back of the car. It hummed pleasantly and closed with a barely audible shup and Clark was immediately at Lex's side, wrapping his strong arms around Lex's slender torso. He kissed Lex's neck lightly.
"Clark, I told you we'll get to this part later," Lex said breathily.
"What? I can't even kiss my boyfriend's neck? I thought we were just enjoying each other today."
Lex thought this over, finding his brain a bit cloudy from the warm sensation of Clark's mouth. "Well, I suppose a kiss on the neck wouldn't hurt. Just as long as it doesn't get too..."
"Mmmm," Clark hummed as he started to suck.
"...wet," Lex whispered. His resolve was getting weaker and weaker by the second. It was sheer will power that gave him the strength to pick up the telephone and ask the driver how much longer it would be. His voice cracked slightly, but the driver didn't seem to notice. Placing the receiver back in its cradle, Lex gently pushed Clark away.
"Baby, we have to stop. We're almost there."
Clark pouted. "Where?"
"You'll see."
"Somewhere we can be alone?" Clark's face lightened up.
"In a manner of speaking. But if you don't behave I'm going to have to turn this limo around and head back to Smallville."
"Cross my heart," Clark said, grabbing Lex's hand. Lex took the few remaining minutes of their car ride to take some deep breaths and settle his nerves. No one had ever been able to affect him the way Clark could, and being teased like that without a final payoff always seemed to make him tense.
At last the car stopped and the chauffeur came around to open their door. Lex kissed Clark's hand and they both stepped out of the car in front of an enormous building of concrete and stone with a wide staircase of cement leading up to the front doors. Clark squinted at the building and then at the surrounding area, feeling strongly as though he had been there before, when sudden recognition came shooting through his mind.
Clark and Lex were standing outside Luthor Hall. The same museum where Phelan first came into Clark's life after seeing Clark stop the bus with the force of his shoulder outside. He felt his palms start to itch and his breathing speed up as he turned to Lex with fear in his eyes.
"It's okay, Clark."
"No, it's not! This is where--"
"I know." Lex took both of Clark's hand in his. "And it's all over now. Nothing here can hurt you."
"I don't want to go in there," Clark whispered.
"I want you to, Clark. I don't want you to be afraid anymore. And I don't want this place to always be a symbol of something horrible for you. We're going to make new memories here today, good ones."
Clark didn't respond, instead merely pleading with his eyes. Before Lex was too tempted to give in, he put his hand on Clark's back and started guiding him toward the steps.
"They've put in a new exhibit that I think you'll be interested in. It will be just the two of us and I promise I won't leave your side."
With a last look into Lex's eyes, Clark finally nodded his head and let himself be led up the stairs. Once inside, he immediately began to look around for remnants of that fateful night in January of 2002, but found almost nothing. There weren't nearly as many people in the main foyer, and the people that were there were dressed much more casually than the night of the Grand Opening. Clark looked to the middle of the room where the ornately jeweled breastplate had been on display, and saw that the armor and even the display case had been removed. That was a small relief, but Clark was still apprehensive.
"Relax," Lex said into Clark's ear. "Nobody here knows you."
Lex squeezed his shoulders and Clark let his muscles loosen at the touch. Once he felt like he was ready to go on, he nodded his head and Lex lead him straight forward down a long hallway full of more displays of ancient artifacts. They stopped on the right where a young man in a vest and bowtie was standing next to a ticket box. He straightened up slightly when he saw Lex coming toward him.
"Good afternoon, Mr. Luthor," he said nervously.
"Same to you," Lex responded. "My friend and I would like to view the new exhibit if that's all right."
"Oh, absolutely! Come right in."
The young man disconnected the velvet rope that was blocking the doorway behind him, and stepped aside so that Clark and Lex could go through. Inside was another small area that appeared to be a waiting room. There were several generic pieces of art on the wall, but nothing fitting of a museum, and the room was full of other people who seemed to be waiting. Clark leaned to Lex, slight worry creasing his brow.
"I thought you said we'd be alone."
Lex's heart nearly broke at Clark's sudden shyness and resisted the urge to kiss him. "We will be, babe. Just give me a second."
As Clark was starting to realize that the people in the room were in a line, Lex walked to the head of the line where the attendant stood, seeming to be waiting for something himself.
"Bob," Lex said.
"Lex!" Bob shot back. Bob had been working a lot longer than the usher outside and was quite a bit older. He was loyal to the Luthors, but he didn't seem to be intimidated by them. Lex always found that impressive. "Finally came to see our new set up, huh?"
"I knew I had to eventually. My friend and I were wondering if you could squeeze us in."
"Not a problem, my boy." Then without any warning, Bob's voice took on an air of authority that was almost startling as he addressed the other visitors. "Okay, ladies and gentleman, can we back up a little here? VIP coming through, make way, make way!"
There was a small rustle of protest among those who had been waiting, but everyone shuffled a few steps backward. Lex turned around and motioned for Clark to come over, and just as he did, a small car, not unlike one found on a roller coaster, jetted out of a hole in the wall and rode along a little track on the floor, stopping just in front of Bob.
"Step right up, boys!" Bob chirped. Clark got in the car, more confused than ever and Lex got in next to him. Immediately, it picked back up and they were off along the track. Headed straight for a solid wall.
"Um, Lex?" Clark asked.
"Just watch. And put these on."
Lex motioned to a pair of 3D glasses that were sitting on the hand rest in front of Clark, as he put on his own pair. Clark put them on and shifted in his seat slightly as the wall came closer and closer. Then with a sudden jerk, the car shot forward and there was an amused gasp from the onlookers as the car shot straight at the wall-- and right through it.
"Ah!" Clark gasped, as he found himself in darkness. "What the hell was that?!"
"Hologram," Lex said, the smile audible in his voice. "The wall wasn't really there to begin with."
"Okay, Lex, what is this? I don't understand--"
Just then, the darkness gave way to a soft glow. He looked at Lex whose pale skin was illuminated softly by the dim light coming from above, and when Clark looked up, he gasped again. Above them was an exact replication of the night sky complete with a crescent moon, the Big Dipper, and several other constellations that Clark knew by heart. And with the effect of the 3D glasses, he had to remind himself that he wasn't actually seeing the sky.
"Lex..." he whispered, momentarily unable to say anything else.
"I hoped you'd like it."
With a burst of overflowing joy, Clark leaned over and kissed Lex loudly on the cheek. Then without looking away from the ceiling, he searched for Lex's hand, finally grasping it firmly in his own.
As he soon found out, the stars were only the background to the actual exhibit. From the walls around them, there were realistic projections of each of the planets with a man's voice giving dozens of interesting facts about them all. Everything from temperature and distance from the sun to the number of moons and the length of their orbits.
Then there was a commentary on some of the more recent comets, with startling visuals of the comets flying by right in front of their eyes. Clark flinched more than once at the spectacle and Lex laughed softly, pulling the younger boy closer to him.
Once the narrator had finished all of his facts about the known solar system, he began to list some of the predictions that renowned scientists have made. To set the mood for this section of the tour, there were suddenly stars everywhere, all around them, as if they were in the middle of outer space.
"Let's jump ahead a little bit," the man said.
And as he did, the stars start to pass them, faster and faster until they were just a blur going by. A strong wind blew at the car, making it seem even more real, and Clark grabbed for the hand rail in front of him, hardly able to laugh through his breathlessness. Finally the stars slowed down and the image faded into a group of fictitious solar systems, distant galaxies where an even balance of sunlight, air, and water could support life, and just how much time it would take for an Earth spaceship to get to one of these places. The facts were dizzying and suddenly Clark wondered just how long he had traveled before landing on Earth. Suppose he was just a newborn when he was placed in his small ship! Could he possibly have spent the first three years of his life unconscious? And that was assuming that he was in fact three years old when his adoptive parents found him. They really couldn't know for sure...
Sensing his tension, Lex squeezed Clark's hand and gave him a soft kiss on the ear.
"It's just speculation," he said soothingly. "They don't realize that some of these ideas have actually come true."
Clark smiled at Lex gratefully as the tour guide's voice was reaching the end of his speech. They turned a corner and a vast faraway view of Earth came into focus. The wind picked up again as the small planet became bigger and bigger, as though they were plummeting straight for it.
"Deja vu," Clark said with a snicker.
"Here's hoping for a safe landing," Lex nearly yelled over the wind.
Clark leaned into Lex's ear. "I'll keep you safe," he said.
They faced each other, suddenly oblivious of what was going on. As their lips neared each other, the planet neared their car and just as it looked like they were about to crash into the ocean, everything around them disappeared and they were suddenly jetting back into the room where they started. Lex quickly pulled away when he realized they were once again among other people, and Clark couldn't hide his disappointment.
"How did you like it?" Bob asked with a smile.
"Unbelievable," Lex replied. "Thank you for letting us in."
"My pleasure, Mr. Luthor. Come back soon."
Lex promised that he would, and he and Clark began to weave their way through the line of people and back out into the hallway. The usher outside the door offered a clumsily eager goodbye and before long, they were back in the limo, headed to their next destination. Clark had hardly said a word since getting out of the museum.
"Everything okay?" Lex inquired.
Clark nodded without lifting his eyes from the floor.
"Talk to me," Lex persisted.
With a long sigh, Clark gave in and began to talk. "It's just that what you did for me… taking me to that exhibit, making the museum seem like a safe place again. I don't think anyone has ever done something so kind and so perfect. You know me so well and when I was with you under the stars and we were alone in outer space, I felt like I could do anything, like the world belonged to me, you know?"
"I know exactly," Lex said, kissing Clark's hand.
"But it's a lie, Lex. The world doesn't belong to me."
"It can…"
"No, it can't! As long as we're together and we live in the world that we do, we can never be really honest. You were going to kiss me, Lex, and the second you realized people were watching, you pulled away."
"I want to protect you, Clark."
"Well, that's just it. I wish I didn't have to be protected. Why do people have to be so small-minded? I'm in love with the most wonderful man in the world, and I can't even tell anybody!"
"Do you want me to give you permission, Clark? If I said it was okay, would you tell everyone?" Lex asked. Somewhere in his mind, there was a desperate voice, pleading with Clark to say yes.
After a long moment, Clark shook his head. "It's not your fault, Lex. I just wish the world were different."
"It will be some day, with the help of people like you," Lex said. "And I hope you know that I would do anything to save you from unnecessary pain. I never want to see you suffer."
Lex's voice took on the same sadness Clark had noticed in the restaurant that morning, this time much more poignant. He searched Lex's eyes, caressing the older man's face softly. He silently prompted Lex to confide in him, but Lex brushed the moment away with a smile.
"Come on. We're here."
Clark followed Lex out of the limo and found himself standing outside an enormous apartment building, soaring so high that Clark couldn't see the top. Without a word, Lex put his hand on Clark's back and led him inside where they walked through a lobby fitting of a four-star hotel, to a bank of elevators. In place of buttons were slots and Lex produced a plastic keycard to insert, granting them entrance. Once inside, Clark spoke.
"Where are we?" he asked quietly.
"We're on our way to my penthouse."
Clark nodded his acknowledgment, refusing to make eye contact. The elevator continued its slow rise to the higher floors and Lex finally reached out to lightly touch Clark's arm. As if he had been hoping for the touch, Clark collapsed into Lex's arms, resting his head on Lex's shoulder.
"I'm sorry," he said.
"You didn't do anything wrong, Clark. Everything is okay."
They remained that way for the rest of the elevator ride, Clark gripping Lex tightly, Lex stroking Clark's back. At last the bell rang and the doors soundlessly slid open revealing a short hallway of only about four doors. Lex took Clark by the hand and led him to the third door, and they went in.
The penthouse was even more breath-taking than Clark had imagined. The living room had a high ceiling with a crystal chandelier hanging down over a tan leather couch. Beyond the couch, across from the front door, was a huge window overlooking the streets and buildings of Metropolis. Clark went to the window, hoping the view would take his mind off things, but it only upset him more. He looked out at that big, wide world and was reminded of how much he had to hide in his life, how he would always remain just two steps outside the circle.
Gripping him from behind, Lex planted warm kisses up and down the side of Clark's neck. "I'm here," he said comfortingly. "And I understand."
Clark nodded, not wanting to speak for fear of the tears that threatened to fall.
"Come on," Lex said, pulling him away from the window. Clark let himself be guided past the kitchen and down a hallway that led to Lex's bedroom. This room was just as lavish as the one they had just left. The bed had a towering headboard of oak and a thick comforter of deep burgundy, and Clark wanted nothing more than to fall into it. Lex began to lift Clark's shirt off.
"Lex, I don't think I'm in the mood…"
"Sshhh," Lex replied as he succeeded in removing the shirt. "We're just going to sleep. We were up very early and I think we both need to rest."
Clark gave a tired smile, realizing just how right Lex was, and allowed himself to be undressed. When he was down to the new blue briefs, Lex had to stand back a moment and admire the beauty. Clark was too tired to even blush and he stood completely still, allowing Lex to appreciate his body. After a few moments, Lex took two steps forward and put his thumbs under the
thin waistband of Clark's underwear.
"May I?"
Clark nodded and Lex slowly pulled the underwear to the floor as Clark stepped out of it. Lex folded it up and put it neatly on the rest of Clark's clothes, then led Clark to the bed where he turned back the comforter revealing silk sheets of the very same color. Clark climbed into the bed and after quickly undressing, Lex joined him.
Clark snuggled in as closely as he could, needing to feel Lex's naked skin against his own, and let out a deep sigh of relief. He buried his face in Lex's chest and Lex kissed the top of his head.
"I'm here," Lex whispered again.
"Will you be here when I wake up?" Clark asked, quickly losing coherence as sleep surrounded him.
"Always."
Seconds later, Clark was snoring lightly. Lex, however, was still awake and he was pretty sure it would stay that way. He ran his fingers through Clark's hair slowly as he thought with exquisite sadness about how much pain his relationship with Clark was causing the younger boy. Something would have to be done. He had known this for a while, that a time would come when
he had to start letting go.
Just then Clark's breath hitched, and without waking up, he curled his legs around Lex.
But not today, Lex thought. Today is our day.
**********
For the second time that day, Clark woke up alone. Slightly annoyed, he sat up and attempted to run his fingers through his hair, but the sleep-induced snarls proved to be too much for him. He wished Lex were there to do it for him. Lex always loved to run his fingers through Clark's hair, no matter how messy it was. He would really have to talk to Lex about all this running away. Was it so much to ask to have your lover next to you when you first wake...
Then with a flutter of his heart, Clark remembered the conversation he and Lex had had before lying down. He suddenly got a sinking feeling that Lex had finally grown tired of his whining and run out, leaving Clark to find his own way in this cold world, a world without...
"Lex?!" He cried out, jumping from the bed as the comforter fell to the ground around his feet.
"Just give me a second," Lex said from the other side of the bedroom door, clearly not noticing the desperation in Clark's voice. When Lex came in, he was dressed in one of his finest suits complete with a lavender shirt, and holding a large gift box in his hands. But when he saw the expression on Clark's face, when he saw Clark standing in the middle of the room naked and afraid, he dropped the box and went to his lover, pulling him tightly into his arms.
"Clark, what is it? Did you have a nightmare?"
Clark shook his head against Lex's shoulder, breathing heavily and seemingly trying to push himself closer to Lex than the laws of physics would allow.
"I thought... I thought that..." Clark trailed off as he felt soothing fingers combing through his hair.
"You thought what, babe?"
Taking a deep breath of Lex's scent, he shook his head. "Nothing. It was just a dream."
Lex took a step back to look Clark in the eye. "Are you sure you don't want to talk about it?"
"Yeah, I'm sure." Clark had a hard time meeting Lex's worried gaze, feeling a little silly about thinking that Lex would just take off like that. And yet... he was sure he had heard something in Lex's voice earlier, a quiet sadness that he hadn't noticed before.
"Okay," Lex said, interrupting his thoughts. "Well, I have another gift for you."
Lex retrieved the box from the floor, where luckily it hadn't sustained too much damage, and held it up for Clark.
"What is it?" Clark asked.
"Take it into the other room and find out," Lex said, motioning to the master bathroom.
Clark's face lit up with a smile and he jogged into the bathroom with the box held tightly against his chest.
When he got to the bathroom, he sat down on the edge of the gigantic bathtub with the box on his lap, and opened it. Inside he found a suit, not unlike the one that Lex was wearing, except that instead of Lex's signature purple, the silk shirt that Clark found in the box was his own signature red. There were a few other touches to the suit that made it more fitting of Clark's style, and he felt his stomach fill with warmth as he rubbed the soft fabric to his face.
He emptied the box onto a nearby counter so he could begin to get dressed, and at the very bottom, he found another pair of underwear, very much like the blue pair Lex had given him. But this pair was red, the very same shade as the shirt.
Clark put it on feeling as though his own face must be about as bright Then he put on the rest of the suit with super speed, trying desperately to avoid the beautifully dirty thoughts the briefs were putting into his mind. Once he felt like he was calm enough to face Lex, he stepped out into the
bedroom, but he certainly wasn't ready for the look of pure adoration on Lex's face.
"Is it… okay?"
Lex made a noise somewhere between a laugh and sob and stepped forward to cup Clark's face in his hands. "Beautiful," was the only word he could manage.
Then they lost themselves in each other's lips, feeling for all the world like they were kissing in slow motion. Finally Lex pulled back.
"Come on. We have a reservation."
"Where are we going?"
"Dinner. And then to the theater."
Clark smiled, knowing that he wouldn't get much more out of Lex. They walked to the front door hand in hand and then down to the ground floor where, as always, the limo was waiting outside. Once they were safely tucked inside, Clark kissed Lex on the cheek.
"What show are we seeing?" he asked.
"Angels in America."
Clark turned to Lex. "A fluffy musical?"
"Hardly." Lex winked, but refused to say anymore.
**********
Dinner was interesting to say the least. For some reason, Lex had selected a restaurant that specialized in Russian cuisine, and Clark found himself faced with a line of portions he couldn't even pronounce. But he was a good sport, and he was so hungry that he didn't let himself be intimidated.
But as he and Lex were on their way back to the penthouse, what really stayed with Clark was the show.
"Angels in America," he whispered to himself over and over. "Angels. Angels in America."
After watching such a powerful story acted out in front of him, even the title seemed profound. He had cried several times during the show and now could feel the dried tears on his cheeks as he pondered the meaning. But the only thing he could decipher was the loneliness.
Every character in the play suffered with some form of unimaginable loneliness, an obstacle so huge that they were convinced they wouldn't make it through. But they all kept trying. Clark decided that was what made it so powerful. No matter how bad it got, they were all still trying with all of their might to achieve something good, something real.
Then there was the fact that all of this bone-chilling realism was a backdrop to something magical, to the imminent arrival of a Heavenly Angel in New York. It was all so beautiful in its tragedy, each flaw perfectly placed, and it reminded Clark so much of his own life. Not that he or any of his friends had it as bad as the characters in the play, though most of them had at one point or another, and yet they all kept fighting. With their last breath they would be fighting to make things right. Clark knew this was true of everyone he loved, including himself.
But that didn't scratch out the loneliness. Despite all of Lex's love and all the people that cared about him, the sense of penetrating isolation never really left him, and Angels in America really drove that home. There were some things that only he would ever really understand. And there were aspects of himself that he didn't even know about, that he feared and despised with every ounce of his conscience.
Was it possible that whatever was trying to emerge could cause him to lash out and hurt the ones he loved? All of the chaos and confusion that lead to the coming of the Angel in the production could just as easily have been caused by the coming of the Angel. Perhaps the sense of something unnatural, some superhuman presence had caused all the characters to act the way they did, to be caught up in a mixture of unfortunate circumstances and unwise decisions. What if the coming of Clark's unnatural side hurt somebody? What if his superhuman nature caused some kind of disturbance in the natural flow of things and the world started to fall apart around him?
"It's only a story, Clark," Lex said, knowing exactly what Clark was thinking.
"I know. But it's just so close to everything that's going on right now."
"I'm sorry. I should have thought before I got the tickets. I just figured…"
"No, Lex, it's okay. I really enjoyed it. It was just kind of sad."
Lex smiled softly and ran his fingers through Clark's hair. Clark half-expected another of Lex's infamous lessons, this one on the fact that not all stories need to be happy to be worth hearing, and that even in the form of tragedy, art is still art. Blessedly, though, Lex kept his silence. But for Clark, it wasn't so easy.
"What if--"
"Don't," Lex cut him off before he could even begin.
"But, Lex, I--"
"Don't," he repeated, a little more sternly.
Clark sat for a few moments in silence, allowing a complete thought to form in his head. "I don't want to hurt anybody," he finally said quietly.
Lex kissed him in response. "You won't hurt anybody. Clark, it was just a work of fiction."
"But my life isn't, Lex. I'm just like that Angel. Yes, I'm powerful and most people would assume that I was sent here for some noble cause, but nobody knows for sure. There is a darkness in me that I don't even dare to think about, and what if it gets loose? What if I lose myself like I did before, and never come back this time?"
"Clark, do you trust me?"
"You know I do, but--"
"But nothing. I will keep you safe. And you will keep everyone else safe because that's who you are."
Clark went on, his voice beginning to shake. "But what then? We go on living our happy life together in secret?" Lex lowered his eyes, stricken. "Lex, this has been the happiest day I can remember. I have never felt so fulfilled and so loved and I can't tell anyone!"
"Why is telling everyone so damn important to you?" Lex shot back, beginning to lose his cool.
"Because I hate sneaking around! It's like we're giving in to the negative perceptions, like we know how dirty our relationship is and we're ashamed of it!"
Lex pulled back slightly. "Are you ashamed, Clark?"
"No!" he screamed. Then he quickly lowered his voice. "No. I want more than anything to be able to touch you in public, to show people how in love we are and how beautiful it is. I want to show you off, Lex. I want to show everyone what a perfect boyfriend I have and how much he means to me. But just like everything else in my life, I have to keep it a secret. I have to lie to complete strangers, best friends, and now even my own father. I... I just..."
Clark broke off into a series of ragged sobs. He turned his back to Lex and leaned his head against the window, letting his tears fall into his lap. Lex remained where he was, too hurt to say anything for a long time. He knew what Clark was feeling, but he hadn't realized how bad it was. For Lex, keeping his personal relationships a secret was second nature. He had been raised to keep his private life out of the public eye, and this was just one more exercise in that discipline.
He hadn't realized how much it was hurting Clark.
When he finally felt calm enough, he put his hand on Clark's shoulder and pulled lightly. Clark was only too willing to turn around and melt into his arms, and Lex felt his heart break at his innocence.
"I have another surprise for you," Lex whispered into his hair.
Clark shook his head. "Lex, not now."
"It needs to be now. I think you'll really appreciate this one."
Clark sat up and looked into Lex's eyes expectantly. Swallowing back his sadness, Lex wiped the tears from Clark's face and then reached into his pocket, producing a small box. He handed it over, and Clark opened it without ceremony, clearly too exhausted to feign excitement. Inside he found a small gold ring imbedded with a circular gem of brilliant blue-grey. The color of Lex's eyes. He looked up at Lex, too touched to speak.
"I know it's not exactly a coming out party," Lex said. "But you can wear it in public, kind of as a way to show people that someone loves you. It's big enough to fit on your middle finger. I thought the ring finger would be a little too obvious."
The ring shone in Clark's grasp and he shifted his gaze from the jewel to Lex's eyes. Lex nodded.
"I did that on purpose. So that even when we're apart, you'll have a part of me with you."
As a fresh stream of tears flowed onto Clark's cheeks, he slipped the ring onto his finger and nearly jumped on Lex, embracing him tightly. "We'll never be apart," he said, crying happily. "We'll never be apart."
Lex returned the embrace, unable to do anything but cry softly into Clark's shoulder.
We'll never be apart, he thought miserably. If only that were true.