The Perks of Being Sixteen

Summary: Alright, so she's a little angry. She's sixteen; she's allowed to be a little emotional. Especially when she has a best friend who won't get off her back about a certain wizard, all the gods who want to put her together with said wizard, the certain wizard who keeps acting strange, and a mum who tosses her a notebook instead of taking the time to listen to what she has to say. She reasons she has every right to be just a tad insane. J/L.

Chapter 1: The Torture that is Lily Evan's Life
September 1 1975
Train Compartment 10
10:04 AM

My mum gave me this journal. She says, and I quote, "Darling, you have some pent up anger."

It's nice to know my own mum has at least a semblance of interest in my life. Darling, you have some pent up anger. Write down your feelings. It'll help you feel better. I resisted the urge to throw said notebook at her head.

Ellie grinned broadly when she hears of my mum's present. She snorted, "Some anger? Some? Really?

"It's not funny."

"I'm not laughing," she said, suddenly seriously, "but you know what I heard? There was this witch in London who was under this tremendous pressure with her job, but she refused to get angry, and all the anger inside of her built up and built up and one day she blew up to twice her size and floated away. No one ever saw her again."

She paused dramatically, "That could be you! You can be my friend who blew up in anger and was never saw again! I'm sure that'd get you an article in The Daily Prophet."

I resisted the urge to throw notebook at her head.

I do not have incontrollable anger. I am the most compliant person I know. I am nice to everyone.

A certain James Potter not included.

11:00 AM

The inevitable James Potter conversation #1:

Ellie prattled, "I think you fancy him. Sitting in a tree, snogging senseless, marriage, baby pram sort of fancy."

"Are you sure you aren't James Potter secretly disguised using a carefully brewed polyjuice potion? Where did the sudden Potter arrogance come from?"

"Lily and James sitting in a tree… S-N-O-G-I-N-G."

"Snogging has two g's."

"It didn't fit the bloody rhyme."

The inevitable James Potter conversation #2:

"Have you kept in touch with him over the summer?"

"Why in the world would I do that?"

"Because I heard a nasty rumour that you two were caught shagging passionately in the broom closet at the end of last year and you got pregnant and the two of you had to get married in a secret ceremony even though both your families hated each other and James manages to kill someone of importance and got banished and you pretended to be dead to bring him back and…"

Ellie took a giant breath.

"…he thought you were really dead and took a potion and slaughtered himself but then you work up and realized what he did and in a fit of passionate dismay you killed yourself as well and it was all very romantic I heard."

Peach snickered quietly in the background. I am disappointed in her... I would have thought she would have at least tried to stop Ellie in her tirade.

"First, I am a VIRGIN, Ellie. V-I-R-G-I-N. No sex has been going on…"

"Or so you claim…"

"Second, do I look pregnant? Or for the matter of fact, dead?"

"Looks are deceiving," she chimed.

"Third, a good portion of that charming tale you told was in fact stolen from Romeo and Juliet."

"Wait a minute now—Shakespeare got the idea off me."

The inevitable James Potter Conversation #3:

"I don't think your mum knows what she is talking about. You express your anger very well. Especially towards a nice wizard by the name of James Potter."

"Why do you insist on bringing him up? The gods are punishing me by sending you as my friend!"

"You complain about him a lot, you know," Ellie chuckled.

"Brilliant deduction, Sherlock!"

She ignored me, "And there are some that say there's a fine line between love and hate."

"I am not one of those daft cows, Ellie," I deadpanned.

"Honestly Lily, don't vent your anger out on me."

"You just said that I vented my anger out on Potter."

"Ah, I'm not going to talk to you if you're going to get into such a fit," she said smugly and the turned around. I can feel my mouth gape open as I sputtered indignantly.

I need to get new mates.

Particularly ones that are not mad.

Now I am on the train trying to ignore Ellie's loud snores. Every so often she snorts, and shuffles over and bangs her head against the wall, and then inadvertently manages to kick me (hence the weird marks all over the page). I feel some anger towards her. Do I write it down?

I am angry at Ellie.

Oh, I can feel enlightenment fall over me instantly. That helped a great deal. Thanks mum.

I don't have pent up anger.

It's most definitely at least pent up rage.

11:14 AM

Peach said that it doesn't work if I don't write down why I am angry at Ellie. I am angry at Ellie because she is a daft cow that thinks she knows all like that damnable James Potter.

2:00 PM

I figure my mum has it completely backwards. I'm bound to be a little angry. After all, I am sixteen, and being sixteen I am entitled to a little moodiness. I mean, think of all the things I have going on in my life…

1. My best friend thinks I'm in love with a wizard who is the prat of all prats.

2. Said arrogant prat probably despises me now because I dressed him down thoroughly after the Defense of Dark Arts O.W.L. (although I do not know why I care, but I'll chalk it up to delirium).

3. The gods are against me.

4. I just spilled pumpkin juice down my shirt.

5. I'm sitting in the dullest Prefects meeting in the world.

6. Remus Lupin keeps shooting me looks like I am the devil and will attack him at any time.

7. My mum would rather give me a notebook than talk to me about my feelings.

8. The Head Girl is currently giving me evil eye.

The Great Hall
7:30 PM

Scene. It's a dark, stormy night. The rain is falling horizontally. The wet, bedraggled students pile into the Great Hall gasping in hunger and shivering from the chill in the air. The hall is candlelit, the light throwing deep shadows to the corners. I am sitting in a chair, back pressed against the high arch, hands clenched tightly onto the arms. Lightening flashes, thunder booms. The lightening illuminates the Hall briefly casting an electrifying mood into the air.

The milling and shuffling of the students get louder, and louder, the sound pressing on my ears until I feel as if I can no longer take it.

Silence. He appears, a bright spot in the midst of a dark crowd. He is walking towards me. The room spins. Lightening flashes. His hair has fallen in his eyes in a delicious manner. His eyes are dark; serious.

Lightening flashes again and my breath quickens; my heart races.

He reaches me. I feel like I am falling, falling into his eyes.

Then he says, "Can I have this chair?"

And I nod.

8:00 PM

Ellie says she thinks I'm insane but I can't really blame her. She has known me for six years, exactly. We met on the train to Hogwarts and we were instantly friends, even if she can be a little annoying, and even if I can be a little insane. (So she has been telling me since we've first met). We've been through thick and thin, bad accidents and happy accidents, crushes, uncrushes, heartache and heartbreak.

And I love her, I really do.

But she can be a giant prat when she wants to be.

Like when I told her I liked Michael Sawyer and she went and dropped little hints everywhere that I fancied him and then James Potter got wind of it and bothered me about it for weeks.

Or like now, when she had somehow managed to skillfully maneuver it so that Potter has a clear view of me throughout dinner and I'm so self conscious I keep looking up to see if he's staring at me and when I do catch him staring at me I look down quickly because I'm afraid he thinks I'm staring at him.

Although he's not hard on the eyes.

But I would never tell him that because his ego would get too big.

And I would never tell Ellie that because she would never let it go.

And I don't know why I even wrote that because James Potter is as big as a prat as Ellie and I don't like him in any way, even in a purely platonic way.

8:30 PM

Potter and his cronies just exploded the turkey. Prats.

September 2 1975
Transfiguration class
9:25 AM

The Torture that is Lily Evan's Life
A short play

Scene I. Transfiguration room. First class of the year

Enter LILY, JAMES POTTER, SIRIUS, the resident arse, ELLIE, PEACH, THE EVIL PROFESSOR and THE GODS.

THE EVIL PROFESSOR:
Welcome back to the wonderful world of magic and to your wonderful sixth year Transfiguration class! Lets all enjoy your last few moments of freedom before I rip you apart shred by shred and feed you to my eighty-pound cat, Wookie!

CLASS:
We look forward to it, Evil Professor!

SIRIUS:
Look at me, I'm an arse!

Class laughs.

CLASS:
We love you, Sirius Black!

THE EVIL PROFESSOR:
As you know, in sixth year, I, being the evil genius that I am, assign all of you a major project that is to be presented and handed in by the end of the year! Being the evil genius that I am I have decided to force you to work in pairs that I will choose because I am such an evil genius and I would like to torture you in anyway possible!

CLASS:
We look forward to it, Evil Professor!

THE EVIL PROFESSOR:
So I will pair you up now and assign you this project in which I plan to fail all of you no matter what!

JAMES POTTER:
Evil Professor, I think if you want to be even more evil than you already are, you should pair me up with Lily Evans because that's a surefire way to be evil in the most evilest manner!

LILY:
Please, gods, please be nice to me for once!

THE GODS:
We spite you, Lily Evans!

ELLIE:
Wouldn't it be just radical if she paired you up with James Potter?

PEACH:
Now, now, I'm sure the Evil Professor can't be that evil!

THE EVIL PROFESSOR:
I agree James Potter! You and Lily Evans are partners! Spend as much time together as possible now or I shall fail you even more than you would've failed! Muahahahaha!

LILY: Anguished.
Nooooooooooooooooo.

THE GODS:
We spite you, Lily Evans!

JAMES POTTER:
Excellent! I get to torture Lily for the rest of the year now! Muahahahaha!

SIRIUS:
Look at me! I'm an arse!

Class laughs.

THE EVIL PROFESSOR:
Oh Sirius! We really do love you!

Exit all.

Being sixteen does not have its perks. Being sixteen is like repeatedly stubbing your toe on a History of Hogwarts textbook, or bashing a hammer into your thumb a million times, or falling off a cliff and being impaled by that sharp jagged rock that just happens to be jutting out at the bottom erasing any chance of survival. Being sixteen is like death.

So, please excuse me now while I go bash my head repeatedly in the nearest wall.

Notes: My lame attempts to procrastinate from studying for exams. Read, review! Crap, uncrap? Delete, undelete? Did anyone even make it this far before falling asleep from boredom :P Let me know, I'm in desperate need for validation and an excuse to procrastinate.