I have another nice, long chapter for you! I've finally gotten away from the necessary drama, though (Well... mostly. There's still a little bit...). Anyways, I'm too lazy to write more notes than this, so meh...
Disclaimer: I don't own it... regretfully.
friend5: Thankies! I'm so glad you like! This chapter's even better. It's longer than the last one (like, ten pages on the word processor without the review replies...) Plus, I didn't take forever to update!
Angeloftheoperahouse: Hay for tuning in! (oops... I meant yay, but it's a funny typo, so it stays) And for beef stroganoff, too! I love beef stroganoff... Bad! No being anorexic! Wait a sec... why, exactly, do you feel like Carlotta? Are you shouting for your doggie and your something else that I can't understand?
Marianne Brandon: Thank you! Don't worry, I would never actually try to scar Erik by forcing him to watch Lizzie McGuire (besides, it'd be really hard to force him to do anything...). Honestly, what kind of mean, sadistic phan do you take me for? Oh! Moulin Rouge? I love that movie! It probably would put Erik in a terrible mood though... sigh I'll just have to wait until he's less sensitive...
DarogaDaae: It's the "fellowship of the rings". Hmm... I hadn't thought about the extended versions... Well, I'll just say it's extended, then, because I love the scene in Lorien where everyone is speaking elvish and they make Gimli mad... I have to ask... what goopy mess are you talking about:is confused:
Sandra: I really do adore bad-ass Erik... he's so fun to write! As for the creepy guy, you'll find out what happens to him in the next chapter (I think...). You know what? I hope he dies in the hospital, but then it would have technically been a murder on Erik's behalf... and it would screw up the plot if Mr. Creepo snuffed it...
Affirmed Hope: Ah! At first I thought you were talking about an Erik/ Hilary Duff pairing... man, that'd be sooooooooo weird, even for a humor fic! I know what else you could say! You could say ermfleschnarghghghghg moorlnock eigreickenskopel bladvot!... Okay, I have issues... I like them. They're my friends!
Gem: Yes, I agree. Carmen isn't really te type to own the Lizzie McGuire movie... You'll find out why she has it in this chappie, though. grins As for the seventh pineapple, it has absolutely nothing to do with the chapter. I was just too lazy to think up a coherent chapter name... so I didn't. I can't believe it! I read the blasted chapter over twice for errors before i uploaded it, and I still managed to call her "Georgia"! I am such a moron sometimes... I would change her name, but I'm currently co-writing another fic with the same person I based most of Ava's character off of and one of the main character's names is Georgia, so I can't change Ava's name.
RebbeccaTurner01: Go you! Go you! What? Cruel and unusual punishment? Where? Don't worry, I wouldn't dare try and scar Erik like that! I'm not that mean! I swear it!
Moon Avenger: Oh my god! Winnie the Pooh? Poor Erik! I can't even watch that without writhing on the floor... of course, I'm about as tolerant of things like that as Erik is... So, if I tell you that you have grammar issues, do I get a doughnut, too? Or is it just an Erik thing? Oh, and for the record, I'd like to point out the M. Le Phantom is very well-fed in this chapter...
AJNemo: Too entertaining for your own good? No, my friend, you can never have too much of a good thing. grows a beard in a pathetic attempt to look wise... ends up going all short and wrinkly like Yoda Use the force...
Chapter 10: A Skeleton in The Closet
As Erik watched the movie, Carmen watched the Erik, who was proving himself to be just as entertaining as the Lord of the Rings. He was so utterly immersed in the trilogy's first installment that he would frequently fail miserably in his attempts to eat popcorn and poke himself in the eye with a kernel. By the time the hobbits had reached Rivendell, Erik had, by Carmen's count, poked himself no less than nine times.
About halfway though the movie, their popcorn supply ran out, so Carmen reached for the remote control to pause the movie and declare an intermission, but as she felt around for it in the space that lay between herself and Erik on the futon, she realized that Erik must have moved it in order to prevent her from doing exactly what she was trying to do. Apparently, he was more interested in watching the movie than in hogging a second bag of popcorn.
As she probed the space between them one last time in vain search of the remote, her fingers met Erik's hand, and they both received quite the shock. Erik was jolted from the movie just long enough to look at her as though she were completely insane and pull his hand away. Carmen, too, moved her hand as quickly as if it had touched something very, very hot, but instead of looking at Erik, she turned bright red... just like she always did whenever anything like this happened.
Erik mentally cursed himself for having moved his hand away. If he'd kept still, perhaps Carmen would have done the same, and– No! He wouldn't even think about that! Not again, and certainly not a mere one month, one week, and six days since his heart had been smashed into a million tiny pieces... not that he was keeping count or anything... Already, he felt disgusted with himself for almost having been so fickle! He'd spent so much time chasing Christine... How dare he forget her, even if it was only for a moment...
A loud, booming yell brought Erik's attention back to the movie just in time for him to watch the wizard who led the fellowship plummet into a black abyss. He wished the bridge would crumble just a bit more and send that annoying, blonde, foppy elf down into the pit as well, but he knew it wouldn't... fops always won. Damn them...
He spent the rest of the movie hating various fops... namely the Viscomte. However, he continued to follow the plot, and was properly annoyed when the first movie ended with everyone's splitting up, leaving the viewer to wonder what became of middle earth.
"That's how it ends?" he wondered aloud.
"No," Carmen explained, "There are two more movies that finish the story."
"Do you have them?"
"Yeah."
"May we watch them?"
Carmen grinned. "Why not?" After all, there was no way that she would be expected to be in classes tomorrow, not when she'd only been released from the hospital that day...
As so, they watched "The Two Towers", during which Erik's dislike for Legolas grew into a mad urge to kill the stupid elf, and then, "The Return of the King", during which the phone rang and scared both Carmen and Erik into next year.
Carmen wondered who in their right mind would be calling anyone this late at night, but then she checked the clock and realized that it was nearly seven in the morning... their little movie marathon had lasted all night...
And that stupid phone wasn't going to answer itself.
"...Hello." she yawned into the receiver.
She was answered by a woman singing as though she were in a garish, Norwegian opera. "HelloOoOo, CaAarmenNnNn!"
Carmen groaned. "Mom, stop it. You're hurting my ears."
"Sorry... I though it sounded pretty."
"Liar. That was painfully sharp and you know it... So, any particular reason you're calling, or did you just need someone to mentally scar?"
"Any particular reason? My oldest daughter spent monday night in a hospital! I think you know why I'm calling!... Oh yes, and we're coming to see if you're all right. Don't try to stop us, because we're already in Ohio and nothing you can say will make us turn around... We should be there in oh, say... a half an hour."
Carmen blanched... this was bad. Very, very bad! "Well... I'll um, see you then, okay? Bye!"
She didn't wait for a response before hanging up. Erik had obviously been watching her, because he was looking at her in a most concerned manner.
"What's wrong?"
"Parents... coming... thirty minutes... I am so dead!"
"Why?"
"Well, first of all, there's a strange man in my room and it's seven in the morning!"
"Why should it matter? Just explain the situation, and–"
"Oh yes, I can see it now! Hello mum and dad. This is Erik. He's from the late eighteen hundreds... Sure it sounds crazy, but I swear it's true. One day it was just like, poof! And all of a sudden he showed up and got himself tangled in my bathroom, but it turns out he was really summoned here by my witch ex-roommate, but now he lives with me because he doesn't understand traffic lights and almost got himself flattened by a semi truck! Oh yeah, I almost forgot to tell you, HE'S THE BLOODY PHANTOM OF THE OPERA!" All of this came in one breath, and by the end of her rant, Erik was worried that Carmen would keel over.
"Well, fine. I'm a fellow music major who came to visit you before class starts because you didn't understand the last few pages of your reading assignment."
"Two problems: One; that sounds exactly like one of my more pathetic excuses, and two; my parents have known me long enough to understand that I never fail to understand anything I read" Carmen muttered as she hastily tidied the room, taking special care to get all of Erik's clothes out of sight... If her father came in and saw a pair of boxers on her floor... Her college career would be over before she could say "What? You don't like my new shorts?"... not that Erik was enough of a slob to leave his boxers on the floor, of course, but he wasn't exactly neat, either. "."
Erik sighed, "Really now, that can't distrust you as severely as that..."
"Normally, they wouldn't, but they're so scared of me going off to college and coming back pregnant that the second they see anything to suggest that there has been a man within a hundred feet of my room, they'll immediately think I've sold myself into prostitution." Carmen explained.
"I see... perhaps I should hide in Jessica and Ava's room..."
She shook her head, "They'll be in classes by now, and they've been locking their door ever since Stella broke into my room..."
"Well, I suppose I'll just have to make an excellent impression, then." said Erik, resigned.
"I guess... Help me pick things up, would you?"
Erik sighed and help Carmen find all of the tiny, ripped-up bits of paper that had somehow managed to find their way into every nook cranny, and obvious corner. What he failed to mention, however, was that the only reason the tiny pieces of paper were there in the first place was because he'd gotten bored while she was in classes and tried to make a giant mosaic on every flat surface in the room... It had looked rather nice, but he'd forgotten to close the window before he started working, and the first gust of wind produced an effect not dissimilar to being inside of a snow globe... He'd cleaned most of it up (while subconsciously humming "The First Noel"), but the opera ghost had never been one for cleaning any spot on the floor that one would not use for walking.
By the time Carmen's room was satisfactory, the half an hour was nearly up. An idea as to where she could hide Erik popped into Carmen's head, but before she could tell Erik, they heard voices in the hallway.
"Blast! Of all times for them to be early, they pick now!" Without another word, she turned and headbutted Erik into the closet unceremoniously.
"What the–?"
"You're hiding."
Erik's response came in the form of a curse and some incomprehensible muttering.
"Erik, shut up! They're nearly here!"
No, that was a lie, her family was right outside her door, waiting to be let in.
The second Carmen opened the door, she was nearly tackled by her mother, who didn't have the self-restraint to warn her before she rushed at her with a hug. "We were so worried!"
"Actually, she was the only one worried." muttered Alyssa, the older of Carmen's two younger sisters. "We're just here to get our DVD back..."
"Aww... do the poor wikkle preteens want their wittle Lizzie McGuire DVD back?"
"I'm not a preteen! Give me back my movie!"
"You should have thought about that before you left it in my room..."
"That's enough!" snapped Carmen's mother. "Carmen, give them back their movie."
"Fine..." Carmen pouted and handed the Lizzie McGuire movie back to it's rightful preteen owners, a little disheartened to have lost her tool of Erik torture. "Well, come on in, then– Sarah and Alyssa, stay out of my stuff or you will both die a slow and painful death."
"So?" Alyssa asked, making herself at home on the futon while she finished off the rest of Erik's third bag of popcorn. "Got yourself a boyfriend yet.. A real one, that is?"
"Shut up."she growled... when would that preppy little brat tire of reminding her that she, as a seventh grader, had been asked out to a dance before Carmen had?
"Alyssa! Your sister just got out of the hospital. Don't irritate her." snapped Carmen's father, a tall imposing man that owned his own corporation and smiled only when business deals came through and when watching Saturday night live bash Michael Jackson. Carmen was actually very surprised that he had come. Helping her move into her room had been one thing, but coming to see her for something less than a life-scarring tragedy... it was just too much...
"So, have they gotten any suspects yet?" he asked her.
"Um, they had one, but that was when I was still unconscious. As soon as I woke up, I had to inform them that the man they'd arrested was actually a friend of mine, who had actually defended me... But when the police got there, he had the guy knocked out, but since he was the only conscious person on the scene, they arrested him... But I got that all cleared up right away."
"Hm... sounds like you've made yourself some decent friends. What's his name?"
"Erik." Obviously, her dad had expected a last name as well, but to be truthful, Erik had never told Carmen his last name, and she wasn't about to make one up for him.
They rambled on for some time about the attack, but Carmen wasn't paying much attention to the conversation. She was too busy forcing herself not to look at her closet... Poor Erik, cooped up in her closet with all the shoes and coats and other random things that didn't look right just sitting out in her room. How much longer would he be able to stand it in there? What if he had to go to the bathroom? She really hoped he wasn't mad at her...
"Hey, Carmen!" cried Sarah, "You built a really awesome house on the sims!"
"Sarah! Get off of my computer!"
"But... I was bored."
Carmen looked over her sister's shoulder at the house that was apparently so impressive. Funny, she couldn't remember having built it... It was impressive, though. Far more impressive than she usually made her houses. It looked as though it had been designed by a professional architect-- of course... Erik must have discovered the sims and built it...
Now everyone was looking at the house. "Well, now I can say that I'm impressed by both of your houses, the one on the computer... and this room. Carmen, have you finally outgrown your messiness, or have you stuffed everything in the closet?" her mother joked.
"No, I cleaned up a bit when you said you were coming, but I haven't had a chance to really trash this place yet."
"Well, I think I'll have to check the closet, just in case."
Maybe her mother was laughing, but Carmen was doing nothing of the sort. If she kept them from looking in her closet, they would get suspicious, but if she didn't...they'd find Erik...
The closet door creaked open...
Now, I could be cruel and end the chapter right now... But that would be incredibly mean! On the other hand, I am mean!... Hmm... what to do, what to do...
Oh fine, I'll continue, then. Please ignore any horrid grammatical oopsies on my behalf... I'm so tired that I am repeatedly misspelling the word "I"... I know you're laughing at me right now. It's not nice... you're going to make me cry! Then you'll feel bad! Ha!
Like I said... very tired... BUT I'M DETERMINED TO UPDATE IN A TIMELY MANNER! ONWARD HO!
Erik had no warning! All of a sudden, the closet door opened, and a strange woman was standing in front of him with her mouth hanging open wide enough to rival even the fabled chops of his angel!
"Hello..." he said, not knowing what else could be said to break the awkward silence.
Carmen gave an unhinged, nervous little laugh. "Hi there, Erik..."
"What were you doing in my daughter's closet?" Carmen's father demanded.
Erik shuddered, in front of him stood the most intimidating man he'd ever laid eyes on... except perhaps for himself, but most of his intimidating-ness was due to his reputation, which had not followed him into the twenty-first century. "Well, I came by this morning before classes to see if Carmen had gotten back from the hospital alright, and when I got here, she said she wanted an extra pillow, so I went into her closet to fetch one, but I accidentally knocked the door closed and got stuck in there because the door only opens from the outside... I assume you must have fallen asleep again, Carmen, because I tried to tell you I was in here, but you didn't respond..."
He prayed that his excuse would be accepted. It was bad, he knew, but it was the best he could do on such short notice...
"Oh, Erik! I'm so sorry! I fell asleep before you locked yourself in, or else I swear I would have let you out! How long were you in there?" Carmen asked in an assumed tone of concern.
"Not too long..." Erik mused, trying his best to sound like a college student, "maybe an hour, tops?"
Carmen's dad was obviously skeptical, but apparently, he didn't want to make an idiot of himself by interrogating the man who had just saved his daughter from a "mugger"
"... So, you like The Phantom of the Opera, do you?" he began awkwardly, trying to find something upon which to start a normal conversation.
At first, Erik thought he'd meant the person... as in, himself... but that would make no sense, so he assumed Carmen's father was talking about the book. "Oh, you mean the mask? Actually, I really was born with a rather unpleasant deformity, so I wear this as not to disturb those around me. But yes, I have read the book, and naturally, I loved it."
"Oh really? Carmen tells me the phantom dies at the end, after losing the love of his life, having lived a hellish life of torment and misery. I'd have thought you might have made a connection with him because of the whole mask thing..."
Oops... Erik thought. Wait! I die! Well, no time to ponder upon that... he had to fix his little... mistake.
"But the phantom himself is a highly admirable character. Throughout his life, he remains nothing more than a tormented and shunned mastermind who wants nothing more than to live like everyone else. The fact that fate turns his life into a twisted mess of trials doesn't change the fact that he is, in character, an excellent fellow."
"I see..."
Carmen sniggered. How amusing it was, to see the two men discussing a book that neither of them had read. She couldn't help but laugh at Erik's blatant self-flattery... excellent fellow, indeed! Just so long as he didn't try to add modesty to the list of the Phantom's positive characteristics...
"Well, I think we should take these two out for breakfast." suggested Carmen's mother, "That is, if Erik won't be missed in his classes."
No, Erik thought They won't even notice I'm gone... Mostly because I was never supposed to be there in the first place...
"No, I'm far too late to come now. Even if I were to try, they wouldn't let me in." he lied. He positively hated trying to speak like a college student... The sheer awkwardness of it made him want to cringe...
"Well, that settles it." said Carmen's father, as though his opinion were the deciding factor... which it probably was. "Does anyone have any favorites?"
Carmen said she didn't, so her mother turned to Erik, who really hadn't expected to have a say in the matter. However, he did not know any good restaurants, so it hardly mattered.
Eventually, they ended up in a relatively comfortable place, situated in the city's "wealthy quarter". Erik was surprised the atmosphere rather to his liking... Unlike every other public building he'd been in so far, the interior was tasteful, with sparkling crystal statues gracing the otherwise uninteresting corners of most of the rooms... The ceiling was painted much like in his own operahouse. Hanging in the middle of the main dining room, Erik gleefully noted, was a large, elaborate, crystal chandelier. His mind flew back to the opening night of Don Juan Triumphant, the opera that had quite literally "brought down the house"... He would have found that entire ordeal extraordinarily funnyhad the situation not been so terribly dreadful. After all, the chandelier crash itself had not been all that fatal. He distinctly remembered reading that there had only been three deaths during the disaster, one killed by the chandelier as it plummeted into the audience, another trapped backstage and consumed by flame, and the third (for which Erik took no responsibility whatsoever) shot when a policeman had fired his musket in order to try and gain the attention of the masses. Meanwhile, Erik had noticed the fools behaving in a most amusing manner, running headlong into columns, trying to barge through the doors armed with music stands, and even shouting insults at the flames as though doing so would hurt the fire's feelings and send it home in tears... Okay, perhaps it wasn't all that funny, but Erik had always sported a rather twisted sense of humor.
"Sir? Your order. Please?"
Erik was jolted out of his reminiscence by a waitress. A little embarrassed, he quickly ordered the first thing he spotted on the menu, chicken noodle soup.
"Earth to Erik..." muttered Carmen, who was seated in the chair to left of his own.
Her final order collected, the waitress sidled back to the kitchens, leaving Erik alone as the only non-Lenoir at the table. It was rather unnerving, he decided, to have Carmen's father watching his every movement as though something as simple as scratching the unmasked half of one's nose could betray some explanation of the precise nature of one's relationship with the daughter of a certain prominent businessman...
He was testing him, Erik realized. That was why they were in such an exclusive establishment; Carmen's father clearly wanted to see if Erik could behave like a gentleman... It was almost insulting, to think that he would have any difficulty in the well-mannered turns of high society!
He wanted to speak up and reassure him that he and Carmen were friends... and nothing more, but to do so would mean failing dismally at the test set before him... and if there was one thing Erik hated even more than people staring at him, it was losing!
The first item to be brought out to them was their drinks. Erik had resisted the temptation of the fine french vineyard selects that he missed so adamantly in favor of a cup of tea, not because he preferred tea, but because it would have been horridly impolite of him to order something so costly... and at the moment, sticking to those obnoxious guidelines of proper etiquette was his first priority.
So he drank his tea with his pinky out, kept his elbows off of the table, abstained from crucifying the side dishes, and above all, kept his condescending comments to himself as mealtime conversation was dominated by Carmen's little sisters... Now, Erik? He'd repeatedly asked herself, How would it look if you were to make these little girls cry... There's probably no quicker way to lose... Yes... all he had to do was focus on winning.
After what seemed like an eternity, breakfast was finally over. He'd done it! Carmen's dad had been glaring the entire time... just waiting for make the wrong choice... to use his dessert spoon in his soup... and Erik had successfully shown him up! He risked a little smirk that said, quite clearly, I win!
After breakfast, they returned to Carmen's room (as her mother had not wanted her to be standing for too long). Her father was still glaring at Erik, who was beginning to get the impression that his eyes had gotten stuck in that angry-looking half squint... It made him look something like a very peeved avocado... raisin... thing...
Meanwhile, Sarah was playing the sims. Erik was positively horrified to find that she had taken to "finishing" his house. Yes, perhaps he hadn't quite gotten around to putting in wallpapers and floors, but that did NOT mean that she had the right to put lime green carpeting with ugly, bright blue walls! The humanity of it all!
He'd reached for solace in his unfinished bag of popcorn, only to find that Alyssa had taken the liberty of finishing off the last kernels right before his eyes! How dare she!
Then, just Erik's fingers were about to succumb to their longings to wrap themselves around the throats of Carmen's intrusive, popcorn-eating, ugly-house-making, little sisters, a phone rang. It sounded nothing like Carmen's phone, so he simply assumed it was coming from another room... until Erik's father whipped a tiny silver thing out of his pocket and started talking to it. His conversation, although Erik didn't bother to listen to what he was actually saying, grew gradually more and more heated, and eventually, the man put the tiny phone back into his pocket.
"They're having problems back at the shop. We need to get home, pronto!" he announced.
Erik's insides did a joyous backflip. They were leaving! Oh happy, happy, happy day! Carmen's mother seemed a bit miffed that they had to leave so soon, but she obviously knew that her husband was the authority, and thus, she said her regretful goodbyes.
The Opera Ghost waited until the foursome had been gone for a good five minutes before rushing the computer and frantically fixing the hideous carpeting-wallpaper combos. It almost hurt his eyes just looking at them!
Carmen giggled (something Erik had never heard he do before). "You should see what she's done to some of my houses. That's pretty tame, if you ask me."
"Tame! This is an assault on all that is tasteful!" Erik cried.
"She didn't have time to put objects in... it makes everything about a thousand times weirder and takes twice as long to get rid of."
Erik shuddered... "You were right, I might add, they did jump to ridiculous conclusions! You must have noticed that your father's gaze never left me while we eating breakfast."
"Did you notice that my mom kept kicking him underneath the table?" she laughed. "It looked like an extremely violent game of footsie."
Erik raised an eyebrow. "I didn't... and what is footsie?"
"It's when you kick at someone beneath the table and try to annoy the hell out of them."
"Pathetic..." he muttered, "absolutely pathetic..."
Well, maybe it isn't the greatest place to end the chapter, but if I don't stop now, I'm going to end up writing another ten pages and then this chapter will never get up... so I'll just end now.
I don't know how soon I'll have chapter eleven up. This week and next week are going to be completely chaotic, but after that, I'll have nothing to do, so updates will be nice and speedy.
I really like reviews... really, really like them... they make me update much quicker and spur me on the write more really long chapters like this one.
Oh yes, I just thought I'd point out, for your appreciation, the enormous amount of willpower it took to not crack any "coming out of the closet" jokes. I almost did, but then I realized that i would be taking that chapter in the entirely wrong direction if I did... so I refrained.
I was wondering, what does everyone think of the new star wars movie? I'm supposed to be going to see it sometime soon, and I'm curious what people think. (Come to think of it, I should probably watch the other movies, too...)