Those Nightmares Again, a crossing jordan fanfic

A/N: Hehe…nightmares. Reference there goes to the elevator scene in After Dark, when Woody starts 'stripping'. This idea has been haunting me for ages but it was just a matter of not being so lazy on my holidays, which is really quite hard.

All rights belong to Tim Kring, of course, for creating such a great show that I can feed off. This fic is officially disclaimed. Nothing further.

Rating is appropriately there for a few, very mild sexual references but they are there and can't be ignored.

Erm, watch out for how many times the word 'need' pops up. It kinda has some hidden meaning. And the lyrics are from the song Nightmare by Bob Welch. Enjoy it!

Those Nightmares Again

It was quiet as I made my way slowly down one of the many corridors of the city morgue. I passed only one of the late shift workers and I nodded warmly to him, smiling even as he left my sight. It was a false smile, though, and one of many that I always concocted every time I had to confront her. It wasn't that I didn't like her, though that was part of it; it was because we were increasingly creating something I didn't necessarily want to happen. An attraction some may call it; others appropriately used the word 'death-trap' to associate with it. I prefer the latter but that's just me.

I rehearsed what I was going to say to her over and over again in my mind, silently praying it would come out the way I wanted it to. I left some papers on your desk and I realised I need them tonight to work on. That was all it took. Just straightforward and to the point. Not even remotely flirtatious or hinting a drip of sarcasm that would ignite an argument. None of that. Cold and distant ought to win it.

I grinned to myself suddenly. Who was I kidding? Playing the indifference card with her never worked, and if it ever did, then something would have to be seriously wrong. It was inevitable there was going to be flirting. That's just the way it worked with both of us. It always just happens and that's the way it's going to be. Even tonight. Even when I walk in there and ask for those papers. She's not going to give them up without a fight enforced with unintended, though amusing, flirtatious remarks. She just wouldn't.

I rounded the final corner and took a sharp breath. This was it; her office. I say 'office' but it's really just a workspace because it leads to a forensic laboratory. Without thinking I opened the door and walked in intrusively, not meaning to stumble upon what I did. There she was, sitting in her chair, bent slightly over her desk and singing softly to the song playing on her computer. She must have been deep in her work because she hadn't heard me enter. For quite some seconds I just stood there, mesmerised by her sultry voice. That attraction was quickly becoming a death-trap that I wanted so much to fall into.

"Devan," I said suddenly, though gently.

I watched as she twirled around swiftly in her chair. Her eyes were wide with fright. "How long have you been standing there?"

"Not long," I said quickly, shrugging it off. "Don't know if you noticed but I left some papers on your desk…"

Her features lined into a frown. "Why would I have noticed?"

I cringed and leaned against the doorframe. "How did I know this would be difficult?"

"Because it always is," she replied somewhat coldly before turning back in her chair and returning to her ever-so-important work.

I frowned and looked over her silently. She seemed different, affected somehow. I gave her a few seconds before I cleared my throat deliberately. "My papers…?"

She didn't turn around to look at me. "I'm sure you're capable of walking a few steps to get them."

"Are you okay?" I asked carefully as I picked my way across the room and over to the side of her desk, where I saw what I wanted plainly on display.

"Fine," she countered stiffly. "Found what you need?"

I raised an eyebrow and stepped daringly towards her, not attempting anything too dangerous. "Have you?"

She turned around suddenly, her eyes dark. "Your pathetic attempts are not working tonight. Leave."

I looked down at her incredulously, almost chilled by what was unfolding. "Are you drunk?"

Her eyes softened for but a second and she seemed to hesitate, however before I could grasp the moment she slipped back to her work. "Wish I were."

I swallowed and turned to leave, but something stopped me. I couldn't leave her like this, not when I didn't know what was going on. I placed the papers back down on her desk and leaned over her, my head falling in beside hers. Yeah, I was attempting something new but hopefully this would work. I was unnerved by her indifference, as I had never really experienced it with her before. My hands easily found her shoulders and I let my thumbs rest on the back of her neck. She didn't move and for a time it was only our breathing and the soft song that pierced the silence.

-Have you ever had a nightmare every night?
Well it's been that way since you came around
I'm trying to fight this feeling down
Cause all of my dreams are about you now-

I looked down at her impulsively and found her eyes closed. I sighed and massaged her shoulders gently. She flinched. "This isn't like you."

"Why?" she asked as she let out a breath. "Just because I'm not throwing you a curveball? Listen Woody, you don't know me so don't-"

"Where is this coming from?" I stopped the short-lived massage and waited for her answer.

She sighed reluctantly and shrugged off my hands, standing suddenly and leaning against her desk, facing me squarely. "Ever had recurring nightmares?"

I nodded slowly, bowing my head. Then I looked up at her with a raised eyebrow. "It's not about Bug being naked in your shower is it?"

I saw a small smirk tug at her lips then it disappeared quickly, hiding behind her serious eyes. I studied the way she couldn't meet my own eyes for more than a second before looking away, and when she did, her eyes fell towards the top of my chest. I frowned and shivered, cursing myself for not wearing anything over my light blue shirt. I then realised the two top buttons were undone, revealing exactly what Devan remained staring at. This attraction was fast becoming something else.

-What kind of curse makes me want you so?
Just a need of you that I can't let go-

"They're not about Bug, are they?" I asked quietly, putting together the broken pieces skilfully.

She shook her head and looked down, avoiding my eyes as well as…well, me. "If they were, I wouldn't be acting like this."

-Oh how it's strange what a nightmare can put you through-

I smiled and took a step forward. "Great, you've noticed a change in your behaviour. That's the first step."

I said this only as a joke but she didn't offer me a laugh or even a solid smile. Just continued to look down. This was going to be a bumpy ride, indeed.

-Yeah it's two in the morning
I don't know what to do
The rest of the city is sleeping
But the nightmare rides on through
Yeah it's three in the morning
I can't sleep without you
In the dead of the night-

I shrugged again and took another daring step towards her. "Did you want to talk to me about them?" I offered soothingly. "It might help."

She looked at me sideways with a disbelieving look, but obliged and let out a single word, "Chippendales."

That made me laugh as I carefully slipped in beside her to lean against her desk. We were only inches apart. "At least tell me how I look in spandex."

She smiled at that and turned her head to look at me. Her eyes fell to my lips then met my own eyes with a look that I couldn't quite comprehend. "Don't think you'd appreciate a woman's point of view."

I looked at her intently. My hand slipped from the edge of the desk suddenly, ruining the warm moment. I righted myself and cleared my throat on impulse. I looked towards her again and found her once again staring at me. This time she didn't look away. I did.

-Here comes a nightmare
Destroying my solitude-

"This isn't going to work," I said as gently as I could, looking into her emerald eyes.

Even then she didn't look away but I saw a change in her eyes. I couldn't read them but I noticed they clouded over. I didn't want this attraction to spill over into something we were both going to regret. That wouldn't be fair to either of us. I stood to leave but her voice stopped me.

"We're like this," she began in a strained voice. I knew she was talking about her nightmares. "You're standing there, talking and saying how much this would be able to work out, that there's nothing stopping us. I'm the one trying to convince you otherwise."

Her voice cracked suddenly and I wondered what was beyond what little she cared to share. I felt a sudden pang of guilt for telling her that we couldn't work out. What was stopping us? Self-control, that's for sure. But what else? Maybe a small cloud of fear?

-Late at night
I can't forget you
I'm not psychic
I'm just scared
I could get to sleep if I knew you cared
Instead I'm dreaming of you
It's the same nightmare
What kind of curse makes me want you so?
It's a need of you that I can't let go-

I leaned back against the desk again and listened, waiting patiently for her to say something more. "I won't tell anyone," I urged, half-jokingly.

She sighed and tilted her head back, closing her eyes. "I think you can pretty much guess the rest. You're a smart guy."

"Thank you," I said carelessly, watching her as she vaulted up onto the desk, her legs dangling over the edge. She zipped up her light brown jacket to as far as it would go.

Her eyes seemed to sparkle mysteriously as she whispered, "If you want details, there's a video store down the road."

I laughed at the reference, grateful for the ease of tension between us. "As you know, I'm also a nice guy."

-Ain't it strange what a nightmare can put you through?-

Silence reigned for a moment and it seemed as though we were the only two on the earth. An old-fashioned cliché, maybe, but that's what it felt like. That last sentence resounded in my mind. I was a nice guy. And what I was about to do, it would be breaking all of my rules. I straightened, forgiving the dependence I had on the desk. As I moved around to stand in front of her, my eyes caught on a glimmering object in the centre of her desk. It glittered in the dim light and when I looked at it completely, I almost gave way to laughter. It was a small, purple plastic turtle with stumped legs.

I nodded to it and she turned around. "Never too old to be playing with toys, right?"

She grinned and picked it up, tucking her blonde hair behind her ears as she straightened up her sitting position. "Depends on the kind. Turn around."

I raised an eyebrow but obliged obediently, momentarily forgetting about what it was I had thought of doing. Some called it procrastinating; others said it was creative foreplay. I flinched suddenly as I felt the turtle sliding around my back. It was a tingling sensation, exactly like when someone drew on your back with a single finger. This was different, though. The feeling was softer, more carefully placed. I closed my eyes and smiled when she ran the turtle over my shoulders, then it fell quickly down to the small of my back. I silently knew what she was doing: exploring. And that was fine with me.

I stepped forward then turned around, snapping her back to reality. The turtle rested in between her fingers and she quickly placed it behind her on the desk. I studied the faint red blush that came creeping up onto her cheeks and chewed my lip thoughtfully. Thoughts mingled with stray images of what might happen and I shook my head sharply, casting them out. Instead of thinking about it, I should just do it and let it take us wherever it wanted.

Stepping up to her, I took her hands in mine and noted the fact that they were shaking. I looked into her eyes as I massaged her hands gently. What I saw I couldn't be sure was real. She was blinking, her eyes searching my face for something. What was she trying to say? It didn't really matter now. I let go of one of her hands and reached up to brush along her face with my fingers. I felt for her neck and drew her closer, kissing her forehead lightly. A troubled sigh escaped her lips and she drew back suddenly, though my hand remained around the side of her neck.

She shook her head slowly. "You were right," she managed to whisper. "This isn't going to work."

I leaned down again, my face nearing hers dangerously. "I don't want you to be scared," I countered her own incredibly low whisper. "I don't want you to resist anymore."

She frowned and looked down. "There are so many jokes I could make now about that but they won't come out."

"Don't try to make them," I said, smirking.

Her laughter died as I leaned forward and quickly brushed my lips over hers. I moved my head back slightly to see her reaction and smiled when I saw her lips twitch. I leaned forward again and kissed her harder, pushing down on her lips with more force than initially intended. But she responded equally and in the end that was all that really mattered. I slowly moved the hand that was around her neck down to her waist and my other hand tugged gently on hers, pulling her up from the desk.

"You know," I whispered after momentarily breaking the kiss, "nightmares can be quite fun."

She nodded and kissed me again. "Absolutely."

-I know I should be sleeping
I tried to go to bed
But in a dream I wake up screaming
You're the nightmare in my head-

The fear didn't exist anymore. After another quick kiss, I stepped back and looked at her squarely, narrowing my eyes thoughtfully. She frowned and reached up a hand to lightly stroke my face. Her hand was warm and no longer shaking. From the small distance between us I could still feel the heat of her lips and I instantly craved it.

I blinked, clearing my vision. "Whatever you need."

She nodded, understanding my soft whisper. I knew what her silent answer was but didn't press her into saying it. She didn't need to. I reclaimed her lips after a reassuring smile and she willingly returned the passionate kiss. I felt her fingers lace around my shirt and she unbuttoned the rest of it gradually. I flinched when she ran the back of her fingernails down my chest slowly, but quickly surrendered to her touch.

-Yeah it's two in the morning
I don't know what to do
The rest of the city is sleeping
But the nightmare rides on through-

The kiss was broken all of a sudden when I felt her bite down into my lower lip. I opened my eyes and raised a surprised brow, but she could only smirk at me. I shrugged and let her kiss my neck, then her lips found mine again.

-Yeah it's three in the morning
I can't sleep without you
In the dead on night-

It was strange in a compelling way. Only one thought roamed my mind through this, and that was nightmares were powerful things. They could possess you, make you do things you wouldn't normally do. But most of all, nightmares brought on an addiction. Something that you find yourself longing even if it scares you to death. Nightmares were extremely powerful things, indeed. And hers was just one out of many.

-fin. Oh and Ellen, you still have my CD and phone, hun.