Lurks in the hearts of men
by Ang Griffen
July 5, 2005
Disclaimers: DC's, sucka. With apologies to Roy Thomas.
Ratings Note: Discussion of incest. Non-explicit m/f.
Spoilers: Set around/before Infinity, Inc. #31, before Todd & Jennie-Lynn move in with Molly. I don't think I've spoiled too much, but I may have let something slip. References a few things from Todd's backstory in Infinity, Inc. #33.
Summary: If Hank doesn't know, it's just a matter of time. Obsidian/Jade.
Author's Note: Written dealing only with Infinity, Inc. canon. Does not take any further developments/retcons of any of these characters into account. Unbetaed.
Hank knows. There is practically no way that Hank doesn't know, and in that increasingly unlikely event, he will know if he spends much more time at Todd and Jennie-Lynn's apartment.
Todd never had to be told that Hank was a telepath; Hank can be incredibly obvious about it. And really, Todd can't blame the guy. Hank may be the son of a super-villain and kind of a whackjob at times, but Todd's adoptive father sure was no Green Lantern, and Todd knows everyone thinks he's moody enough to give Morrissey a run for his money at the best of times. Todd even kind of knows what it's like to get an eyeful of the worst of people when that's what he least expected; it's no telepathy, but it's pretty darn close sometimes.
None of that means that Hank doesn't make him nervous, because Todd's not used to being the one being read. He's not used to being the one whose darkest corners are being inspected.
And it's not like those corners don't freak him out a little --okay, a lot-- even without his sister shacking up with a telepath.
Todd's tried to stop feeling this from the first time he saw her. At first he'd just thought it was shock, because of all the things he'd expected from a long-lost twin sister, it had never occurred to him that she might be pretty. Then, on top of that, Jen turned out to be funny and sweet and driven, and Todd was pretty much in love with her before they ever even spoke.
Of course, when he phrases it like that it sounds innocuous, almost sweet, because people are supposed to love their sisters, and it took Todd a while to realize that as sweet as it might sound, as nice as he might be able to play it, people aren't supposed to be in love with their sisters. Not the way he is.
He thinks about her now, on those rare times he breaks down and touches himself in the shower. Not about doing anything to her or with her. Just-- her; her smile, her hair, her hands, the way her body curves.
Afterwards, Todd feels sick. Not physically ill, just sick of himself.
Todd's never been any good with girls. There's something that's kind of off-putting about him. He knows that. Secretly, he thinks it's a part of his super-human abilities. It's nice to think that his inability to attract girls has more to do with being a creature of shadows than it does with some failure in his personality; it's nice to think it's something that he can't fix. But that means Jen's the first girl who's ever really touched him, even to put her hands on his shoulders and stand close, or to hug him that way she does, that way that means there isn't something else she'd rather be doing just then.
This all makes it seem like he's blaming Jen, and a horrible part of him wants to, but it's not her fault. It's not her fault that she's everything any guy could want. It's not her fault that sometimes Todd's willpower breaks down and he thinks about these things. Todd's thoughts are no one's fault but his own.
Todd hasn't gone to church and confessed his feelings, hasn't repented, and he tells himself it's because it will stop soon enough, but it's been over a year, and it hasn't stopped yet. In fact, it's mostly gotten worse because now Hank's on the scene, and it's not like Hank's a bad guy. He's a better guy for Jen than Todd is, if Todd wants to be objective about it, because at least Hank's not her brother.
That doesn't mean he wants Hank staying at their apartment. Todd wants Hank to keep his damn hands off Jen, and his damn mind in his own head.
Territoriality is a new thing for Todd, too. He's not sure he likes it.
The more time Hank spends at their apartment, which these days is most nights, the less comfortable Todd is staying there himself. In part because he feels like he has to play protective brother, and that feels way too much like jealous boyfriend, and Todd hates thinking like that. Thinking like that is exactly what he tries to avoid around Hank.
Thinking about Jen at all is something he tries to avoid around Hank. Because Hank's a mind-reader, and Todd's having a hard time keeping that skeleton in his closet.
What if Hank knows about all those times he thought about kissing her? What if he knows the things he's thought about her body, the things he's thought about her legs and her mouth and her hands? What if Hank knows how Todd felt about that locket he gave Jen for Christmas, or-- Hank probably knows everything.
Being around Hank makes Todd all the things he doesn't want to be: angry, shamed, argumentative, deceitful... Todd hates being around Hank because he's scared of what he might know.
It's not that Todd's worried about making Hank a little queasy. Not really. Hank's got to learn to stop being affected by what he turns up in others' brains sometime, and Todd's gotten used to being something horrifying after all this time as Obsidian.
No, the thing that makes it horrible, --moreso than it already is-- is that one day, probably sometime soon, Hank's going to tell her. He's going to tell Jen every last filthy thought he found in Todd's mind. Then, it won't matter how hard Todd's tried to stop; it won't matter how many times he's confessed, or how many Our Fathers he's said. None of that will matter.
Because if Hank knows (and he must), then Jen will know, and if she knows...
Todd really doesn't know what he's going to do when she isn't around anymore, but he'd probably better figure that out soon.
It's only a matter of time.