Standard disclaimers apply, the characters don't belong to me, nor does the song, this is just for my amusement. Hopefully yours to.
To say that Harry was pissed, would be an understatement. Fresh from the battlefield, defeater of the dark lord, Harry watched in amusement as his headmaster chatted merrily with professor Snape, as if nothing extraordinary had happened mere hours ago. He switched his attention of to the Gryffindor table where his two ex best friends Ron and Hermione were, quite literally, wrapped up in each other. He sneered, but they didn't notice. He had sold him out to Dumbledore, telling him of Harry's latest plans. He knew Ron did it for the power of becoming a honorary member of the order of the Phoenix and Hermione, of course because Dumbledork convinced her it was the right the to do. He then turned his attention to his ex girlfriend Ginny, who was snogging Michael Corner. She had dumped him two weeks ago, ripping out his heart and throwing it back in his face. Fuck 'em. Fuck 'em all. They would get what was coming to them.
He looked back to the small crowd behind him and nodded.
Let the show begin.
He took a small stone out of his pocket and transformed it into a stage, and while the rest of the people were setting up, Harry looked to the head table and watched Dumbledore look on with interest. When Harry was sure that he had the attention of the entire hall, and that nobody was going to try and stop them, which they couldn't. He adjusted the microphone and began to sing.
I had visions, I was in them
I was looking into the mirror
To see a little bit clearer
Rottenness and evil in me
Fingertips have memories
Mine can't forget the curves of your body
And when I feel a bit naughty
I run it up the flagpole and see who salutes
(But no one ever does)
Meanwhile behind him, Shamus was playing him, donning a black wig, glasses and looking into a fake mirror. Soon Cho came out wearing a red wig, and was dancing seductively around Shamus.
I'm not sick but I'm not well
And I'm so hot because I'm in hell
Cho smacked Shamus on the face leaving him looking broken and confused.
Been around the world and found
That only stupid people are breeding
The cretins cloning and feeding
And I don't even own a TV
Then two other actors walked out on stage holding hands. Neville who played Ron, and Luna who played Hermione was carrying a fake doll, they played the part of being in love but were acting stupid. Meanwhile Shamus, who was standing away from the two, was sitting down trying to turn channels on a fake TV. When he realized the remote wasn't working he started hitting the TV with a bat.
Put me in the hospital for nerves
And then they had to commit me
You told them all I was crazy
They cut off my legs now I'm an amputee, god damn you
I'm not sick but I'm not well
And I'm so hot cause I'm in hell
I'm not sick but I'm not well
And it's a sin to live so well
Next Dean who plated a slightly mad looking Dumbledore, dressed in neon pink and purple robes came on to the stage flanked by Draco Malfoy who was dressed in Death eater garb, Neville and Luna. Dean pointed a finger at Shamus and then Draco started to hall him away while Neville and Luna pretended to be laughing like mad. Draco pushed Shamus into a chair, while Dean took a fake axe and pretended to cut Shamus's legs off, which was done by a well placed charm.
I wanna publish zines
And rage against machines
I wanna pierce my tongue
It doesn't hurt, it feels fine
The trivia's sublime
I'd like to turn off time
And kill my mind, you kill my mind
The next scene showed Shamus in a padded room in a straight jacket throwing himself against the walls, screaming at the top of his lungs, while the dementors played by Denise and Colin Creevy danced around him.
Paranoia paranoia
Everybody's coming to get me
Just say you never met me
I'm going underground with the moles
(stupid moles)
Hear the voices in my head
I swear to god it sounds like they're snoring
But if you're bored then you're boring
The agony and the irony, they're killing me
Shamus was now backed into a corner of his padded cell with Dean and Draco now dressed at Voldemort coming at him wands raised ready to attack. In another corner of the room, Neville Luna and Cho were pointing their fingers at him and laughing.
I'm not sick but I'm not well
And I'm so hot cause I'm in hell
I'm not sick but I'm not well
And it's a sin to live so well
Now Harry, (the real one) was alone on the stage singing the last verse of the song, looking evilly at his so called friends.
And as he played his guitar, the rest of the band finally was coming into view, the student body, minus a few obvious people jumped out of their seats and applauded. Harry smirked at Dumbledore who was also standing, but looked about as mad as anyone had ever seen him. Harry Potter slung his guitar over his shoulder and left the great hall, never to be seen in the Wizarding world again.
end