Plans
Chapter 3
The cold was going away, it was going away and he didn't want it to. It was going away and with it everything else was going away too. Lloyd closed his eyes, every day it was harder to remember. There was a black wall in his head, a wall he couldn't touch or see, but he felt, and it was in his head. It never went away, it made him forget more and more and he didn't wanna. He lay by Noishe having slipped out to star gaze and think about the wall. One finger absently followed the circles in Noishe's fur, one of the silver spinney circle things that stood out against the white only in the star light. Noishe didn't care, didn't mind, only looked at him and at the sky.
"Daddy usta star watch with me didn't he?"
It was hard to say that, the wall in his head didn't want him to think about Daddy, and neither did the dwarf or the towns peoples. He'd heard them talk, saw them smile when he asked them if they'd seen his Daddy. It was a sad smile, a kind of sad that made him squirm. He gulped back on the tears he felt in his eyes, he'd already cried on Noshy he wasn't going to do it again. Noishe only nodded, licked him on the head and whined.
"It hurts Noshy."
Noishe looked to him in understanding, he knew it wasn't an ouch ache or missing ache. It was a wall ache, an empty ache and it hurt worse then and ouch he'd ever gotten, ever. Mr. Dirk while he was really nice didn't understand. The mayor, and the doctor in Iselia who were not so nice didn't understand. Only Noshy did.
"Daddy isn't coming, that's what all the smart people tell me. Daddy isn't coming back..." Tears squeaked out past his eyes and he shivered, tried not to cry. Other people got sad when he cried so he had been trying really hard not to cry no more. Noishe whined, licked him, and that was enough to bring out the tears. He buried himself into the silky softness of Noishe's mane and bawled. He looked up, saw bobbing light of a candle in one of the windows, and he knew Mr. Dirk was coming. He gulped, shivered, and whipped at his eyes hiding all his tears away deep down inside. He snuggled into Noshy, stroked Noshy's scratch spot and a huge leg reared up and started scratching where his hand was. Lloyd giggled, scooted over so the leg stopped smacking him and buried Noishe in a hug.
"Playing are you lad?" Dirk's voice was soft, rumble-y, like a tummy that wasn't full.
Lloyd only looked up from Noishe and smiled, nodded.
"It's late, you should head inside."
"I wanna star gaze Mr. Dirk, just a little longer... please?"
Mr. Dirk muttered some not so nice words at the cold under his breath than sighed.
"I don't feel too comfortable about you doing it alone, how 'bout I fetch us some blankets and pillows and we make an outing of it?"
Lloyd frowned, star gazing was a thing for him and Noshy and... And Daddy. It was secret, special, he wasn't sure he wanted Mr. Dirk to join. Lloyd shook his head, stood. He patted Noishe on the head to say good night then with a smile at Dirk shook his head again and went inside.
"What'd I say?" Dirk scratched at his beard and the dog whined at him, those dark eyes were locked on the blanket Dirk had brought. "There are times I wish you could talk you know that?" Dirk growled as he threw the blanket over the side of the stall. Noishe happily snatched it and bundled himself under it as much as he could. "Something tells me you could tell me a great deal of what I'm doing wrong here."
Noishe half hidden by blanket looked at him with somber brown eyes and Dirk got this chill feeling that the dog would have a lot to say if it could talk, and that same feeling said Dirk would not wish to hear it all. Tilting his head to the heavens the dog stared at the stars, and the stars glittered in it's eyes twin shards of false sky. Dirk turned, looked up, and wondered for not the first time what reverence Lloyd put to the sky. It was beautiful, no doubt about it, but it didn't hold his attention like it did his boys.
" 'Spite all the backtalk you'd be giving me I think I'd like to know what you think a time or two." Dirk admitted to the dog, and he was surprised to see Noishe turn his gaze back onto him. Looking into those fey star filled eyes Dirk backed up a step. He went back to his home eager to put those alien eyes far behind him and think of anything but that creepy dog creature that had come with his charge.
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Lloyd frowned, paced, his small features scrunched up in concentration. The wall was making his head hurt lots now. He glared at the floor, glared at the pain and forced every stinging tear down. He knew, somehow someway, he knew that he would keep forgetting until everything was gone. It scared him the wall and the pain, it scared him because he didn't want to forget. Yet holding onto memories hurt, remembering hurt.
Forgetting hurt worse, it hurt a lot worse.
He was supposed to be sleeping. He'd gone in here let Mr. Dirk tuck him and he'd pretended to sleep. But when Dirk went away Lloyd had kicked off the covers and started walking around and around the room. Daddy did that lots, or Lloyd thought he had. Daddy used to walk back and forth and chase his own shadow with a scary look on his face some nights. Now Lloyd knew why Daddy did it, he wondered if his face was as scary as Daddy's had been sometimes.
He had to do something! This head wall hurt and the only person who could make it better was Daddy. But all the smart people said Daddy couldn't find him, couldn't get to him cuz the bad people weren't letting him. Stupid bad angel people weren't letting Daddy leave home and find him. Well if Daddy couldn't get to him and Dirk and none of the nice Iselia people couldn't find him maybe he should help look too!
Comforted by that thought he went to sleep.
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There was a loud crash, a thud, and he was already out of his bed before his mind could tell him where the sound was. He threw on last night's clothes, and was out the door in a heart beat. There he came to the site of Lloyd on a chair hopping up and down trying to reach something on the "adult" table. The adult table was actually a human sized table, one that he had taken on as a project but his client had been killed be Desian's. Having no person to give it to Dirk had kept it for himself, not really knowing what else to do with it. Watching Lloyd scramble on top of that table, obviously looking for something, Dirk decided that he'd have to either shorten it or dispose of it. It was far too dangerous to keep, a tumble from up there would hurt Lloyd. Trying to keep the fact that his heart was pounding so hard he could hear it in his hear Dirk barked at Lloyd to get down "this instant". Lloyd ignored him, continued with his search! Sputtering a few warnings Dirk barked at Lloyd to get down, and almost felt his heart stop when both the boy's legs dangled off the side and he had to scramble back up.
"You have the count of three till I go up after you one..."
That got a response, though not the one Dirk wanted. Lloyd squeaked, then slid off the edge of the table and landed at Dirk's feet with a laugh. Gods of earth did the boy have no sense in him! Dirk's question was then answered when the boy went to the stove and eyed it like he was thinking of climbing.
"No!" Dirk barked, it was a short stove, meant for a dwarf, but that still did not make it any safer. He wasn't such a fool to keep the fire burning at night, but if Lloyd got the idea it was safe to climb on now he would think nothing of it when there was a fire going. He snagged Lloyd's arm, spun the boy around and glared at those playful eyes. He began to scold the child, to use words to bring the boy up short, but Lloyd paid him no heed, spotted something of interest and broke free of his grip and went after it. Something, some calm not as shaken up part told him to calm, to see what Lloyd was so intent on finding. The rest of him want to yell at the boy, scold him. For once Dirk listened to that calm part of him, he watched as Lloyd pushed aside a small bird house Dirk had been carving for the shopkeep's wife. Lloyd had knocked it, and several other projects over in his wanderings and come up with... Paper? Anger lost in confusion Dirk joined the boy who was almost as tall as he was. The dwarf watched as Lloyd opened up the folded parchment, and in the boy's hands was a map. What in Gnome's name did the child want with a map that he was willing to wreck the whole house to find it?
"Pictures!" Lloyd chirped, unfolded the map with surprising skill and then promptly turned it upside down.
"A map, my map." Dirk corrected, reaching out he turned the map over so it was going in the right direction. "Now what did you want this for?"
Lloyd only stared at it for a long time, then he folded it and handed it back to Dirk. When Dirk again asked Lloyd only stared at the dwarf, and it reminded the craftsman of the look he'd give to those whose cloak he tugged. It was a lost sad look, a look that said that the questioner would not understand because the child did not understand. It was unnerving, so much so that when Lloyd asked to go outside to play with Noishe Dirk let him, forgetting his lecture. Alone the dwarf looked around. Every craft that had rested on the table had been knocked down, the pantry door had been opened in the kitchen and all their rations spilled out. Lloyd had quite literally ripped the house apart so he could stare at a map for all of ten minuets.
"I'll never understand children..." Dirk sighed, then set himself to cleaning up the mess and working on breakfast, trying his best to forget those lost and empty eyes.
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"Night Noshy!" Lloyd patted the dog's head, he was strangely subdued, sad even. Noishe it seemed picked up on it to, whined, and stared at Lloyd. The dog did not give the boy a good night lick, but tried to snag the scruff of Lloyd's tunic to wheel him back in. Dirk smacked that huge snout when Lloyd wasn't looking, and the dog glared daggers at him, both put on their masks of friendliness when Lloyd returned. Dirk's charge spent a length of time stroking his dog's face, then almost wistfully left the pen. He ate all of his dinner, did not protest the dwarven vow as was his habit, and seemed... extraordinarily well behaved. He tried to help pick up after dinner, succeeding in only dropping his plate, then decided to push it over to the oversized bucket that served as a sink. In the dwarf's home almost everything was oversized. What he couldn't make he had to buy, and humans always made stuff in their size with no thoughts of someone smaller coming along with need. It was -the pun was inevitable- short sighted, but understandable to some extent so Dirk made do with little complaint. The young dwarf, young in the eyes of his people old in the eyes of humans, stared at his human child in confusion. In his one hundred years he had never seen someone so young become so obedient and quiet in a short span.
The earth was rumbling with hint of a quake, and he was going to find out what this all was about before it bucked under him and knocked him from his feet.
"That's enough lad!" Dirk took the silverware from dinner from Lloyd before it went into the cupboard uncleaned. "I'll handle all this, you just go on and umm play in the main room."
"Yes Mr. Dirk."
Dirk threw the dishes into the bucket filled with water and took up the brown cake of soap. He lathered up a rag he'd set aside for cleaning, and went at it for all of a minute, the lack of sound though from the other room was positively un-nerving, he could not concentrate well with the racket but it's absence was so disturbing he could not function it seemed. He abandoned his task, after all dishes weren't the most important thing in the world, and strolled into the main room. Lloyd was only sitting by a window, staring that the setting sun.
"This doesn't look like playing to me." Dirk said quietly, and the boy turned to him and started, as if in guilt. "Aye, something's the matter, out with it, are you feeling bad, any aches of pains?"
"Nope."
"Dwarven vow number eleven lad 'Lying is the first step to the path of thievery.' Now out with it."
Lloyd only looked at him helplessly, shrugged, this time Dirk wasn't going to let the matter drop so fast.
"Lloyd the truth never hurts, Lying does, you're hurting me with this Lying, so tell me the truth alright?"
"al..alright.."
"Now then, what's wrong?"
"My head hurts."
"I'll make you some of that headache tea that the doctor made for you then. If it was something like that then why didn't you say so sooner. You've been having that headache all day when you could have had it only for a little bit." Dirk scolded gently, going to the kitchen to fetch the medicine.
"No, not that!"
"I know it tastes bad but..."
"No!" Lloyd shook his head frantically. "A inside head hurt... not a sick head hurt or a ouch hurt!"
A dwarf is one of the most practical creatures in the world. There intelligence is a slow piling of facts and logic into a great wall that the capricious nature of change can not penetrate. Intuition is an avalange of that pile, a destruction. The past is revered, honored, and the main goal of a dwarf's life is to stray as little away form the past as they could. Dirk was different, believed in intuition as a tool though he never much had a care for it himself. He enjoyed the present as it was and wondered at the future from time to time.
Yet if Dirk was different then Lloyd was alien to the dwarvish thought. He discarded logic, knowledge and just jumped into things, tried to explain to Dirk these things that he jumped into. Because these things, nightmares, dreams, star chases, and tales, they were a part of Lloyd, a part that had no connection to that pile that Dirk had set his life around. Slow and steady was the rule, the stones of life and thought to keep out dangerous change and contamination were still around Dirk. That wall kept him from seeing as Lloyd did, would not allow him to understand what Lloyd was saying.
"Nonsense, you just bumped your head this morning that's all, I'll get you your medicine."
Lloyd only looked at him with those sad sad eyes and shook his head.
"I don't wanna, I'm gunna go to sleep now, Night Mr. Dirk."
"Good night lad."
Lloyd made no reply and the dwarf only heard the soft pitter-patter of human feet struggling up stairs.
Reveiwer responses:
MizzDarkness: Does that mean you're going to stop writing your fic? Ijust startedreading it... Wellthankyou for the praise.
Laistar an eas: Yeah Ilike the factthat Noishe is intellegent as well, it makes chapters funner to write if Noishe plays a prank in them.
Eevetta: There are a lot of walls/differences between Dirk and Lloyd and this ishow one of them get's forcible torn down. I'm trying to make this as realistic as I can.
HomocidalSnowbunnies:Thanks.
Lady Daemon: Thanks... this chapter it a bit of a fore shadow of what's to come... and a little sad. You'll understand why I had to put it in after I get the next chapter up.
MoonCanon: Levels of writing of fanfic? Okay... Well thanks for the praise, and yeah I'm waiting fopr the world to end too...short fics are definatly new for me!
ArkNavy: Actually Dirk is rather young... only a hundred or so, but his reasonsabout why he treats Noishe as he does are explainedinthis chapter.
Gamecubegirl1: Too many ideasactually :) Noishe and Dirk will come to respect each other and care, but I don't think they'll become the best of friends. What I doknow is what Lloyd does will draw them together so that the snipping between them dies down. (Well except the ocasional Dirk river dunking on Noishe's part but that's for a later chapter, day, or fic.)