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Hair-Care Products

Chapter 2: Kain's Big Mistake

The brethren stared at their father… Stare… Stareeee…

Two hours later…

Stare…

Then out of the blue, Rahab, the sensible one, suggested "Hey guys… Look… My handy dandy… First aid book! It says here that to wake someone it is best to wet him or her with fifty drops of water!" Okay… So maybe he's not that sensible after all.

"Hey good idea!" Someone in coughcough purple said, so he fetched fifty drops of water (his measuring took another two hours) from the outside giant flush toilet and poured it directly over Kain's spread-eagled, face-down figure.

"YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!" Kain started jumping around clutching his butt. "It burns it burns it burns!" Then he slipped on the Legolas' Leave-On Conditioner and fell on his butt. "OWWW I poked my butt with my claw!"

The brethren walked around, innocently whistling. When the screaming subsided, they risked a look at Kain. He was back in his dignified manner.

"I will KILL that Legolas. If only I could get to Middle Earth! Damn." Kain muttered.

"Dad, what's so bad about it? "Turel rummaged in his pocket for a spare cotton bud.

"BECAUSE I WANTED INSTANT KILL ARROWS! They were supposed to have poison tips which are fatal to humans but not to vampires. Then we vampires can still drink their blood afterwards. I meant it for the fledglings."

"Awww… How sweet!" Melkiah held his cute little human-teddy bear.

Kain shot a glare at him.

"Uhh… Dad? Why don't er…. You try those hair things?" Zephon scuffed his foot on the floor, thus leaving a claw mark.

"How many times have I told you, Zephon? NO scratching the floors!"

"Sorry."

"But, well, maybe I should try it." Kain said. Not caring about the Legolas' Leave On, he got the quiver and shook another bottle from it. This time it read:

Root Crop's Extreme Hold Hair Gel 3000

Will hold your hair in a desirable position for 1000 years.. GUARANTEED!

Not reading the rest of the print, Kain dumped a handful of hair gel to his hair. Then he arranged it in his usual ponytail. And then..

"AAAAHHH! MY HAIR!"

Five of the brethren rushed toward his screaming, flailing figure. Turel was too busy cleaning his ears to hear Kain.

"What is it dad?"

Kain's hair had turned rock hard. And when I say rock hard, I mean rock hard. It was so STIFF. He read the fine print on the hair gel bottle.

Stiffens your hair for one millennium.

Shock registered on Kain's face. Then anger (This is not pretty). Then…

"MY HAIR! MY beautiful beautiful silver hair! I brush it 100 times a day, and now THIS! I BAN THESE HORRIBLE THINGS FROM NOSGOTH! WAAAAAH!" Poor Kain sat on the floor and. Bawled.

In their mad rush to comfort their dad, the brethren led him out of the room to the pillars. They would comfort him with stories of King William the Nemesis.. er—Just. Ahh… those tales he told them. The brethren would tell it to him in return. Well, five of the brothers, at least.

Turel was humming with his eyes closed, cleaning his ears. The perfect time to be cleaning ears, don't you think? Turel suddenly stopped humming and opened his eyes. But that was only because the cotton bud got wedged in his ear. When he saw the room empty, he started running because he was afraid Kain might be angry at him for not trying to comfort him. And in the process of running, he slipped on the fateful magical quiver.

Turel gingerly picked it up…