A/N: see first chapter for disclaimer. It will probably be a few days before the next chapter is up (don't ask, for some odd reason, I have chapters 1-3, and 5-7 finished. I need to segue into chapter five, so it will take a few days to work that out. I hope this tides everyone over until then!)
Thirty minutes later she was curled up on her couch at home under an old afghan of her grandmother's, surrounded by Kleenex. After she had finished in the ladies room, she rushed out to her car, not even bothering to stop at her locker. She fought back tears the entire drive home, barely making it through her front door before she collapsed sobbing in her living room. It was too much to handle at once, though part of her was relieved that she had been spared the task of telling the rest of the team.
She laughed bitterly to herself through a tear induced headache. What she wouldn't have given to see the reaction on their faces when they realized what had happened. Cynical, lonely Sara Sidle, knocked up by a one night stand. Fresh tears poured from her eyes and she pulled the blanket up over her face, hoping to hide from the rest of the world as long as she could.
"I'm sorry," she moaned, briefly touching her stomach, "You didn't ask to be brought into the world like this, or to have a screwed up mom. I'm so sorry."
Sara closed her eyes and tried to picture herself as a mother. Midnight feedings, strollers, daycare, lullabies. Brief pangs of excitement were quickly overtaken by doubt. She knew nothing about raising a child, let alone raising a child by herself. Would she know what to do when the baby cried? Hell, she had never even changed a diaper.
A loud knock at the door brought Sara out of her reverie. She considered ignoring it, but she knew it was probably Catherine, who would break down the door if she didn't answer. Pushing herself up from the couch, she made her way to the door, preparing to yell at Catherine for knocking so loudly when she had a throbbing headache.
She wasn't expecting to see Nick standing on the other side of the door, holding a grocery bag and wearing a worried expression. She let him step through the doorway, letting his eyes meet her tearstained face and red rimmed eyes briefly before she walked back to the couch. He followed her silently, dropping the bag on the table before sitting down beside her.
"So…a baby, huh?" Nick asked after a few awkward minutes of silence. He winced as soon as the comment left his mouth, but it served its purpose. Sara opened her mouth, but her voice disappeared somewhere in the back of her throat. Tears slipped down her cheeks as she nodded. Nick grasped her hand in his, squeezing it gently.
"I still have to go to the doctor to confirm it, but I took a pregnancy test between shifts…"
"Yeah, Catherine told us." A panicked look crossed Sara's face, and Nick squeezed her hand again. "She didn't want to break your confidence, but Sara…when you ran out of the room…well we're all CSIs for a reason, and we were worried about you. She did bitch Sophia out though, and Grissom threatened to write her up for unprofessional conduct."
They sat in silence for awhile, Nick rubbing gentle circles on the back of her hand with his thumb while trying to figure out what to say.
"Hey Sar, everything will be okay. All of us are going to be here for you; for both of you. Unless…" Nick trailed off, unsure of how to broach the subject.
"Nick, I'm so scared…but I know I have to keep this baby. I couldn't…"
With hormones in overdrive and the stress of the day she had endured, Sara dissolved into a puddle of sobs. Nick wrapped an arm around Sara and drew her to his side, rubbing her arm as he held her close and let her cry.
"Shh," he murmured into her ear, "There's no need to cry, Sar. You are going to be a good mom."
"How do you know that?" she whimpered, letting herself lean against him and bury her head in his side.
"Because I know you. You're Sara, and you're good at everything you do." He got the desired reaction from that statement when he felt her smile against his side. "Well maybe not everything, because the team can't have two of us who are perfect…"
He yelped in surprise at the fingers suddenly digging into his side. "I'm kidding! Ow! Is this how you treat the guy who brings you ice cream?"
Sara lifted her head at his mention of 'ice cream'. Her eyes were shining with tears, but Nick was happy to see the smile still on her face. "You brought me ice cream? Have I ever told you what a good friend you are Nick…"
"That's all I had to do for your appreciation?" he teased, grabbing the bag he had brought in with him, and pulling out a pint of mint chocolate chip ice cream. "What if I tell you there's a big bag of mini Snickers to accompany that ice cream?"
Sara's face shone as she watched him open the carton before handing her a spoon and reaching back into the bag for chocolate. She eagerly dove into the ice cream while Nick watched with amusement.
"I think I'm in love," Sara mumbled through a mouthful of mint chocolate chip.
"Glad to see the mood swings haven't started yet. Ow!" Nick received another well deserved jab in the side before Sara returned happily to her ice cream. "I'm going to put the rest of this away before you assault me again."
As Nick stood up, Sara looked at him curiously. "What other stuff?"
"Well, I know that you don't really like milk, so I got you some calcium fortified orange juice, and some oatmeal because you really need to start eating breakfast, and there's some yogurt and saltines in here too…"
"Nick, you didn't have to do that."
He flashed Sara a grin as he put away the groceries. "I know, but I wanted to. You're not in this alone Sara. Catherine is probably going to tell you more than you'll ever want to know, and I've learned a thing or two from my sisters…"
She returned the smile, grateful that she had him to help her through this.
Sara polished off the rest of her ice cream while Nick studied her DVD collection, trying to find a movie that wouldn't send Sara's already emotional state over the edge. He decided on Empire Records and settled onto the couch next to Sara. Twenty minutes into the movie, Sara was curled up with her head in Nick's lap as he absentmindedly played with her hair.
She could feel herself drifting off to sleep when she heard Nick begin to softly speak. She almost opened her eyes before she realized he wasn't talking to her. His hand reached out tentatively to touch her abdomen, resting there for a brief moment. Sara had to suppress a smile as she listened to Nick talk to her stomach.
"Your Mom would kill me if she knew I was doing this," he whispered conspiratorially. "I'm your Uncle Nick, and I'm going to spoil you rotten. There are so many people out here waiting for you. And if you're anything like your mom, we're gonna have our hands full."
Nick let out a deep chuckle, and Sara found it hard to hold back the happy tears she could feel forming in her eyes. Still, Nick kept talking, unaware that she wasn't asleep. "You have an amazing mom. She's going to love you and protect you with everything she has. I know she's scared now, but she'll get past that. The past few weeks, she's had this…gleam in her eye, and I didn't know why. But now I do. She's excited, we all are." Nick's voice took on a mock stern tone, as he continued, "Now, you've got to be nice to your mom for the next couple of months, okay? Try not to make her too sick, or too grouchy. Please, for Uncle Nick?"
Sara felt Nick drop a kiss on her forehead as she smiled to herself and happily drifted off to sleep.
See that pretty button? Yeah, right down there...you know you want to click it!