Title: Harry Potter and the Staff of Merlin
Author: Legolas-gurl88
Disclaimer: Nope, not J.K. Rowling and not even close!
Author Note: I have posted another story… well, actually a poem… a sonnet, dedicated to a very good friend of mine, Mistopurr. It's called 'Brother Enmity' and is a Shakespearean Sonnet on Misto's wonderful story 'A Brother's Jealousy', so please check our stuff out! Also, check out 'As Fate Would Have It' if you haven't already! Still begging for reviews and appreciate all those people that did go read it!
Story Time!
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21. Throwing Rats
"What?" gasped Harry, hardly believing what he was hearing. Ginny gave another sob in the corner.
"Arthur was murdered last night." Dumbledore repeated calmly.
"No." Harry breathed, suddenly feeling dizzy. He turned to find a chair behind him and dropped into it, rubbing his head in his hands. After he was silent for a minute, he looked up at Dumbledore again. "And Mrs. Weasley?"
"She is alive." Dumbledore answered. Harry breathed a sigh of relief, but felt as though his heart had been ripped out of his chest, thrown on the floor and trampled on by a herd of Hippogriffs. He was silent again, as was Dumbledore, sitting there, as he had when Harry demolished his office at the end of the previous year, calmly and quietly. Harry felt anger rise in chest and his breathing became more rapid.
"This is all my fault." Harry said, his eyes searching for nothing. "It's all my fault."
"Nothing is your fault, Harry." Dumbledore said. For the while Harry had completely forgotten that the Weasleys all stood in the corner of that same room, feeling, if it was possible, worse than Harry was feeling at that moment. It seemed unreal that anyone could feel worse than Harry felt, yet he was sure the Weasleys felt that way. He suddenly became terrified of what they would think of him.
"It is. Voldemort went after Mr. Weasley to get to me!" Harry yelled.
"Why would you think that?" Dumbledore asked calmly.
"Because--" Harry started. He had said too much… there was no going back now, "because I had a dream that Voldemort said he was going to kill everyone that I cared about to get to me."
Dumbledore's faced stayed the same, yet his eyes seemed to flicker with worry.
"When did this happen?"
"Last-- last summer when I took a walk outside."
"And you told no one of this." persisted Dumbledore.
"Er-- Ron and Hermione," Harry said, knowing that this was not what Dumbledore wanted to hear. Dumbledore bowed his head in thought and Harry took this opportunity to turn and make eye contact with Ron. Ron, however, was looking blankly at the portrait of Dippet so Harry did not get that chance.
"I think," Dumbledore said, raising his head to face Harry and the others, "that given the circumstances, I shall send you, Ron and Ginny to Grimmauld. I want you to stay there until I bring further word. Do not leave Grimmauld for any reason but to return to Hogwarts-- not even with one of the Order, do you understand?"
Harry nodded silently, feeling the air in his chest get trapped in his lungs.
"Now," the aged wizard continued, rising from his seat, "I am afraid to say that I have run out of Floo Powder. I'll send you by Portkey. Bill, Charlie, Percy, Fred, George, you may accompany them if you don't have anything else to do."
The older of the Weasleys all nodded, then walked to the desk as Dumbledore walked to the chair Harry was sitting in and tapped it with his wand once Harry stood up. He whispered "Portus" and then stood back.
"Remember, heed what I have said. Do not stray out of the sight of the Order. And you three--" he said, facing Harry, Ron and Ginny, "I shall send your things along later this evening. And stay put, for you are all in danger now. The war for sanity has begun."
He gestured to the chair and the eight others touched out a hand for it.
"Three… two… one…" Dumbledore whispered and Harry felt the familiar jerk behind his navel and the whistling in his ears as he was carried away from Hogwarts, wishing he could just give up.
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Harry's feet hit the ground hard, and he swayed, but did not fall over. Lupin and Tonks came rushing from around the corner, both pale and looking concerned.
"Are you alright?" Tonks asked, pulling Ginny to her feet, but looking at Harry. He nodded grimly.
"Dumbledore just sent Fawkes and told us what happened." Lupin said, but no one was listening. Ron walked over to one of the cushiony chairs and dropped in his, covering his face in his hands, his shoulders visibly shaking. Ginny put her arms around Tonks and buried her face in Tonks' shoulder, sobbing and the other Weasleys' chins began to quiver. Harry, who knew he couldn't feel their pain, walked to Ron and sat down in the chair next to him, silently watching his best friend realize his own grief.
Ginny and the other Weasleys were led to chairs and they sat in silence for what felt like a millennia to Harry, but was maybe half-an-hour. He remembered being in this same position about a year ago, grieving for the same person. Only Sirius had been there.
Sirius…
No, Harry said, blinking back tears, not now. Ron needs you…
For another quarter of an hour, they sat, almost motionless and Harry began to feel a slight ache in his shoulder blades at sitting still for so long. He didn't make a move, though, wanting to be there for his friends during their moment of anguish, not wanting to disturb them.
Harry made eye contact with Lupin, who was sitting next to Ginny, allowing her to sob loudly on his shoulder as he rubbed her back soothingly, to Tonks, who was sitting between the twins as their stony gazes met the floor. After a while, Harry's head began to buzz with questions. Why were they sitting there? What were they waiting for? Then, onto his dream… Why didn't Voldemort kill Mrs. Weasley while he had the chance?
Another hour passed… and another… Harry was beginning to feel drowsy, but stayed awake. He couldn't remember another time he had been so devoted into being there for his friends. Ginny had fallen asleep twenty minutes ago and was carried up to her room by Tonks, who returned to sit between the twins again. Harry coughed and the Weasley's jumped, glanced at him for a moment, then returned their gazes to the floor, the walls, the ceilings, or, in Ron and Charlie's cases, replacing their heads in their hands. It wasn't long until Harry couldn't keep his eyelids open anymore and slowly drifted into a fitful doze, waking up in the morning in his and Ron's room. Sitting up, he glanced at Ron's bed to find it empty.
He checked his watch. Seven thirty. He jumped out of bed and rushed down the stairs, finding Ron sitting in exactly the same position as Harry had left him in. Everyone else had left. Harry suddenly felt like an intruder. Lupin and Tonks had had the courtesy to leave Ron in peace… maybe Harry should as well. He crept towards the kitchen door where he could hear Lupin talking to Tonks when he heard Ron speak behind him.
"Harry," Ron croaked, "wait…"
Harry sighed, and turned around to face Ron. Ron's face was still pale and his freckles showed up even better than they would have had it been a normal day. Harry walked back to Ron and sat in the chair, turning a bit to face Ron better. Ron did the same.
"I-- I-- blimey… I don't even know why I wanted you here." Ron said, sighing and running a hand through his red hair and standing up. Then, he began to pace. He did this for several minutes and Harry watched silently, not knowing if he should leave or stay.
"Did--" Ron tried again. He gulped. "Did you feel like this when-- you know-- when Sirius…"
Harry, who wasn't expecting this kind of question, stood up, feeling (and probably looking) shocked. Ron, who had stopped pacing, resumed it again, looking at the floor.
"Well…" Harry said awkwardly. "Yeah, I suppose."
"I never knew anyone could feel as bad as this." Ron said, sitting down. "I'm sorry I never helped you more when you felt like this… I had no idea, you know…"
"Forget it." Harry said.
"I can't." Ron said. "All those times… I just threw your sadness in the trash like it didn't matter… I never knew…"
"Ron," Harry said. "Forget it."
"But-- your mum and dad-- Diggory-- Sirius…you've seen them all die and you just acted as if it never--"
"Yes, I did." Harry said, wondering where on Earth this conversation was going. "If you've noticed, every time you or Hermione tried to talk to me, I'd start yelling--"
"I don't-- I can't-- I'm just so-- so confused." Ron admitted. Harry's heart went out to him-- he'd never seen Ron in such a state like this.
"Damn it!" Ron said, slamming his fist on the arm of the chair. "It's not fair! It's just not fair!"
Harry said nothing, letting Ron vent.
"I want it to end! I don't care about anything anymore!" Ron said and Harry recognized the same words he'd spoken to Dumbledore. Harry was glad Ron decided not to demolish Grimmauld Place. Just then, he felt a tear run down his face and wiped it away as though ashamed by it. But all this talk of death brought back fresh memories of Sirius and Cedric and his parents.
"None of this would have happened!" Ron said, standing up and Harry jerked his head up.
"What d'you mean, Ron?"
"None of this would have happened if-- if you and I had never become friends."
"Hang on, this isn't my fault!" Harry said, standing up.
"Yes it is!" Ron shouted. "It's all your fault!" Harry was shocked-- Ron had come to such a horrible conclusion, but it hurt Harry that he himself had thought the exact same thing. Maybe Ron was right. But Harry's pride made him defend himself.
"It's you're fault that he's dead! Voldemort's after you and it's because of you he's killed Dad!"
Harry now stood in front of Ron, grabbing Ron's shoulders to stop him from pacing.
"Ron, calm down."
"It's your fault!"
"Ron, there's nothing you can do--"
"It's all your fault!"
"Ron, you're dad's dead! There's nothing you can do!"
"Just because you never gave a damn about Sirius-- because you just forgot him like he was nothing, doesn't mean I have to do the same with Dad--"
WHAM!
Harry's fist collided with Ron's jaw and Ron stumbled and fell over, his hand instantly going to his mouth. Harry stood there, fuming, not caring that his fist hurt like mad, not caring that he'd just struck his best friend.
"Don't ever say I didn't care about Sirius! He's the only proper family I'd had since my parents died! I care a lot about Sirius, even now! You have no idea-- you don't-- you've never-- you've never felt the way I did!"
"Prove it!" Ron snarled getting to his feet. "How d'you think I feel now!"
"You've only lost your dad!" yelled Harry back to him. Though they were standing only a few feet away from each other, they were yelling at each other as though they were standing at different ends of the Quidditch field. "I've lost my parents, my godfather, and I've had to live with three crazed relatives who treated me like rubbish, and, as of six years ago, had the pressure of having a raving lunatic after me, to kill me! You don't know what real pain is like!"
"Why you--" Ron said, jumping at Harry and knocking him to the ground, balling his fist up and sinking it into Harry's stomach. Harry gasped.
"Don't you talk like you don't know how I feel!" Ron yelled. "You-- you--"
But Harry pushed Ron off him and clambered to his feet, pulling his wand out from his robes and Ron did the same.
"Give me one reason--" Harry hissed at Ron, "And I swear I'll curse you as well as I can--"
Ron looked outraged. "You wouldn't."
"Try me." Harry said.
"Expelliarmus!" Ron shouted, pointing his own wand at Harry and Harry felt his feet leave the floor and he crashed into the opposite wall, crumpling to the floor in a heap, remaining still for a few seconds to rid his head of dizziness before climbing back to his feet and shouting "STUPIFY!"
"No!" Another voice shouted and Lupin ran into the room, deflecting Harry's spell and it hit the wall, causing a burn mark to appear. "Expelliarmus!" he said and both Ron and Harry's wands were jerked out of their hands. Both the boys were panting, staring at each other as though wanting to run at each other and cause the other as much pain as possible. Harry could see blood dripping from Ron's mouth, but Harry could feel a bruise forming on his stomach and a lump on his head from where it hit the wall.
Tonks appeared behind Lupin.
"What the bloody hell were you two doing?" she said.
"Not now, Nymphadora." Lupin panted, as though he too had been entangled in the fight. "I want you to take Ron to his room and stay there. Harry, come with me."
Harry cast one more heated glance at Ron before stomping off into the kitchen behind Lupin.
"Sit." Lupin said and Harry slumped into another seat, weary from his fight, anger still rising and his fist turning red. He remained silent, waiting for Lupin to start yelling at him.
"Harry, I am very disappointed in you." Lupin said.
"He-- that-- that dung brain said I didn't care about Sirius!" Harry said defensively.
"Do you think I care, Harry?" Lupin exclaimed, pocketing his, Harry's and Ron's wands. "Ron's father just died. Don't you think that was his outlet? To vent on someone? If I'm much mistaken, you were doing the exact same thing this summer! And did I complain? Did I throw a punch at you or tell you that I didn't care or to forget about Sirius? No! You, of all people, should know what it feels like to lose someone!"
"I have more going on than he ever--"
"Can't you find even an ounce of sympathy for your best friend?" said Lupin, throwing his hands in the air frustratingly.
"Is that what he is?" Harry laughed coldly.
"I assumed that, by the way you sat with him for hours last night."
"He wasn't being an idiot then." Harry said, folding his arms stubbornly. Lupin began looking infuriated, then took a few calming breaths. Then, as evenly as he could, he spoke.
"I thought you were smarter than this, Harry." he said delicately. "Smart enough to know that everyone is an idiot at times. You just need to be patient--"
"You know what?" Harry said, standing up and kicking his chair aside, "I don't need this. I'll see you at dinner." With that, he turned and flung the door open, letting it swing on its hinges as Harry ran up the stairs. He was just about to open the door to his room, ready to hurl himself into his bed, when he stopped, his hand on the doorknob. He could hear Ron's voice inside.
"Why can't he just understand how I feel?" Ron's voice said angrily.
"This is hard for him too, Ron." Tonks said.
"That backstabber? Nothing's hard for him. Everything has to come easy for him, doesn't it? I mean, Dumbledore gives him special attention and makes him a teacher and lets him bend the rules all the time. Everything comes easy for him! I'm not even sure if he really does care about Sirius--"
Harry was so mad that he kicked the door hard and the voices stopped from inside. Then, he ran up more stairs and found himself at Buckbeak's room, opening the door and slamming it behind him. Buckbeak flailed around, startled but when he saw who it was, the Hippogriff quieted, allowing Harry to approach him and pet his beak.
A bit after Harry had a chance to calm down, he walked to the wall and put his back against it, sliding down until he was sitting on the floor. Buckbeak followed him and squawked quietly as though concerned for Harry's sanity.
"Not you too." Harry said, ginning slightly as he pet the Hippogriff's beak again. "It's not that I don't care about Mr. Weasley or Sirius… I just-- I don't know what came over me. I got so mad, you know?"
Buckbeak cocked his head.
"You were lucky. You got to spend so much time with Sirius."
Buckbeak squawked again.
The door knocked and Harry heard a voice from outside.
"Harry, can I come in?" It was Ginny.
"Sure." Harry said at the sound of her weak and scared voice. When her red hair was visible from the doorway, she closed the door and walked in to Harry, petting Buckbeak along the way. When she sat next to him, she spoke quietly.
"I heard about what happened."
"Who told you?"
"Lupin. He said that you and Ron were really upset."
"Wonder how he figured that out." said Harry sarcastically.
"Have you talked to Ron since then?"
"No."
"Oh." Ginny said, looking at her feet, then back up at Harry. "I'm sure Ron didn't mean to. He just got carried away--"
"Carried away?" snorted Harry.
"Yeah. He's a bit confused and he doesn't take loss easy." Ginny spoke as if the death of her father was nothing. However, her lip trembled.
"Please don't start crying. I don't think I could take it."
"I need your help, Harry."
"For what?"
"You take death and stress so well. I just can't. I need to talk to someone, but Lupin's making lunch and Tonks is still talking to Ron. Bill, Percy, Charlie, Fred and George all had to go back to work. No one else is here… besides you."
"Alright."
"How did you deal with… you know… with Sirius?"
Harry closed his eyes, feeling another stabbing pain in his heart.
"Well…" he choked out after several minutes. "I actually… sort of… well… I demolished Dumbledore's office. I broke several of his weird tool things and broke a chair, threw stuff into the fire…"
"Really?" Ginny gasped. "And he didn't stop you?"
Harry shook his head.
"Well it's not like I could do that." Ginny said. Harry stopped to think. Buckbeak was scraping at the ground, apparently looking for food. This gave Harry and idea. He stood up.
"Where are you going?" Ginny asked, standing up.
"Buckbeak's hungry." Harry said. "C'mon, you can help feed him."
Harry pulled the bag of freshly dead rats out of the cupboard in which Buckbeak's food was kept and opened it. Buckbeak trotted over to him, however, Harry took out a dead rat and threw it halfway across the room. Buckbeak stretched out his great wings and flew over, catching the rat in his beak before it hit the ground.
Ginny reached in and grabbed one and did the same, throwing it so it hit the opposite wall, splattering nauseatingly before Buckbeak ate what was left of it.
"This is oddly satisfying…" Ginny said with a laugh, grabbing another rat and tossing it in the air for Buckbeak to catch and the Hippogriff did. Harry smiled as he gave Ginny the bag and she continued to throw rats in every direction and Buckbeak was catching them, clearly enjoying this new form of feeding time games. Harry had meant for it to be oddly satisfying. It always helped to throw things and this time, he wasn't destroying anything that wouldn't be eaten away.
As he watched Ginny throw a rat strait at Buckbeak, his thoughts strayed to when the Hippogriff had been under the care of Sirius… and how Ron was mad at him… how Lupin was too… Mr. Weasley dead, Fleur missing, rampaging Giants while two of them hidden in the Forbidden Forest, Voldemort… nothing seemed to be going right…
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Hey, guys! How are yeh all? I can't believe it! I actually posted sooner! Amazing! So, how did you like this chapter?
Guess what? I got a new flute! It's a gold-plated, sterling silver, pearl and I love it soooo much! It's my birthday present! I LOVE IT SO MUCH!
Also, some things I would like to make clear since they are the most common questions asked to me…
--Yes, Mr. Weasley is dead. It's no joke. Hey, just because I killed him off doesn't mean I didn't think his character wasn't awesome! I'll miss him!
--A lot of you have asked if Prof. Frost is Tonks… alas, she is not! She's Frost. And I know that I introduced her, but haven't used her much yet. It's just not her turn to come fully into the story, but be patient and she will show up!
--Many of you are thinking I must have (even though it's my story) forgotten about the Staff of Merlin. I have not. Some things take time to bring up, and I haven't completely forgotten. If you've been extremely clever and paying too much attention to what I write (LOL!), you should have found at least six or seven hints about the staff throughout the 21 chapters of my story. Trust me, I have not forgotten about it. Just because it's the title of the story doesn't mean that it needs to show up in the very first chapter… some things take time.
--With that in mind, please be patient with me because a lot of you seem to think I don't remember everything. I admit, I am forgetful at times, but I swear everything's in order as far as the story goes… I have every chapter's plot written down, so trust me… everything is fine! That's it… breathe… breathe again… good! Lol!
And thanks, all, for your wonderful reviews! I didn't get many criticisms and it really helps my ego!
Review time!
Lady-Mearie- I'm glad you like my story! Yes, I'm sorry about Mr. Weasley, but the story called for it! So, you're one of Mei1105's friends? That's cool! Talk to you later!
Cariluv- I like Mr. Weasley too! And you'll hear more about Molly later!
Kiara32- Thanks for seeing my side of killing off Mr. Weasley. Not too many people are happy, but I thought it added a bit more doubt to Harry's mind. Yes, my b-day is coming up and I'll be sweet 16! And I got a new flute today (Dec 3) and it's gold plated! I love it so much!
Mosleyn001- See above. Thanks for reviewing!
Potter girl- Thanks! I'm glad you like it thus far!
Jamie46- I'm assuming that the reason it took all day to get Harry was because Dumbledore was attempting to answer all the Weasley children's questions and that could take a while. Actually, I'm glad that you asked why Rita just couldn't say 'Accio' to get the drinks because recently, I went to a website that asked why they couldn't use magic to solve all their problems. 'Why can Harry find magic to defend himself against all fell beasts of the world, but can't find a single spell to fix his eye problem?' If you think about it, that should be an easy spell… but it's too easy. The message J.K. Rowling and myself are trying to get across is that magic can't solve everything… you can't depend fully on magic because then there is no story and no problems. About not mentioning Merlin, please see the above. You'll just have to wait : )!
Fuji the Hobbit- Yes, poking people are annoying, aren't they? ::glares at younger sister::
Mei- Yup, I assumed his middle name was 'James' when Fudge asked 'You are Harry James Potter…' at the trial in book 5! I found no reason to use his middle name, but thanks for the thought! Thanks! I'm glad you like my story! It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside… ew…
Trojan Horse- ::pouts:: Mr. Weasley deserved it! ::tears fill eyes and lower lip quivers:: ::sniffle:: ::bursts into loud, sobbing tears:: OKAY! I'M EVIL! I ADMIT IT! But I thought it added a nice touch! PLEASE DON'T HURT ME!
Ellen- ::wipes tear from eye:: I- I ::sniffle:: I love that movie! Sorry for killing Arthur! I know it was mean, but it had to be done! The end of the term was good. I didn't have to take the math final 'cause I had one of the best scores in the class! YAY!
Madam-Kati- I agree, cliffies are bad, but without at least one, half of my reviewers probably wouldn't be here!
Mistopurr- LOL! That's funny! Please don't haunt me, Misto! I would be very scared! Scary Misto! LOL! Have you checked the reviews for my sonnet? They're pretty good and you deserve to read them! Talk to you later!
Brian- ::Backs away hurriedly:: Sorry! And I apologize, but Ron's dad is dead… sorry… ::sobs into hands::
Mayleesa- ::Looks behind shoulder, expecting to see Voldemort:: WHAT?!
WIZ1- Please read the above. Thanks for reviewing!
CurisofSerenity- LOL! Sorry!
Allie- He was too busy biting Harry! Poor Harry!
Facil Glow- Thanks a bunch!
Gogglehead Lover- I can't believe Sawyer was nice to Hurley! It was amazing! Hurley must have some sort of magical power!
Aishwarya- You read my mind when you thought Ron was going to blame Harry! Anyway, I suppose this chappie answers your question, no doubt! And at the moment, the laced Butterbeer is the least of Harry's problems ::covers mouth:: I said too much!
Mei1105- Sorry about Mr. Weasley! Will you forgive me?
Trinityelf- Sorry, Trin! …………… I still have nothing to say except… I GOT MY FLUTE! I CAN'T WAIT TO BRING IT IN ON MONDAY!!! ROTK EE COMES OUT IN 11 DAYS!
A.M. Bookworm- Weird characters, hm? Why thank you! Your flattery is really nice… what do you want? LOL! Actually, 'weirdness' is a word! Good job! Yes, bow to me! LOL again!
Jeanne2- I finally got my flute! YAY! Hm… how long has your sister been playing? I've been playing for five (almost six) years! YAY FOR ME!
Emerald-silver-Serpent- Every reviewer is going into denial, but I know it's hard not to… however, the hard truth comes in when I say… alas! He is dead! Thanks for reviewing!
Thanks for the reviews, guys!
May broomsticks be in your dreams!
Luv,
Legolas-gurl88
Next time (sorry I didn't have this last time): Harry's emotions are stretched even further…