BDisclaimer: /b they are not mine; I borrow and do not own.
BAuthor's Note: /b Do not sue me for the heart attack you may have just suffered due to the surprise of me having updated. It's not my fault that my muse does not like me at the moment.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Tess could tell what was going on in his mind. She'd thought it through many times herself. How was it that she had not only slept with a colleague after promising herself she wouldn't, but she hadn't even been separated a day, and now she was pregnant to him? It was not the sort of thing Tess Gallagher usually did.
"Mine? That's my baby?" The truth had not yet quite sunk into a very shocked Evan
"Not unless there is another Evan standing behind you." Tess could understand his disbelief; it had taken her a while to believe she was pregnant, and much longer to believe it was his.
She stood up to leave "I'll give you some time to think." Tess switched from concerned 'partner' to boss, "Take the rest of the day off, I'll tell the boss that you needed some personal time."
With that, Tess went inside, leaving him with no time to object
~~~//Memory (Tess' POV)//~~~
I sat there, staring almost constantly at the clock, willing the hands to speed up, yet dreading them doing so. I wanted 9 o'clock to come so much, yet dreading it at the same time. 9 o'clock, wen I could stop playing hostess, the same 9 o'clock when I'd be left alone, with nothing to occupy me but memories, feelings and needs.
Memories.... that day in the locker room, the advice from PJ, my marriage, and the worst of them all, today's revelation. The man I married because I was scared of love, of my feelings. Scared cared that what happened to my mother might happen to me-that love might walk out the door again and leave me standing alone with my heart in shreds
So, instead I broke my own heart. I ripped it to pieces, thinking that by doing it myself would make it hurt less, but it didn't.
I still saw him every day, and every day it hurt more, not less, and each day I saw that I had not only ripped his heart out but his as well.
And then today, well today, today I discovered I was living a façade. Not only had I broken both of our hearts, but I had also married a gay man. A man who had known he was gay for over 10 years. And my heart broke again. It was ironic that I felt betrayed, when I had betrayed him even more so.
*~#~*~#~*~#~*~#~*~#~*~#~*~#~*~#~*
It only took me 10 minutes to work this through in my head, and 10 minutes to work out that I had let him walk out of my life again and I was regretting it, again.
It had only been ½ an hour since he had left, but it seemed like eternity. It took me less than 5 minutes to clean up from dinner, with each movement rushed; yet it seemed to take an eternity.
A quick shower took care of the work place grime, but choosing an outfit presented a problem.
What to wear?
Evan always saw me in uniform or baggy clothes because that was basically all I owned. I wanted something that screamed "WOMAN" and would leave him in no doubt as to my feelings.
Normally, if my current situation could be called normal for me, I would borrow something off of Jo and bear the consequent questions but I doubted she, or PJ, would appreciate a call at quarter to 10 at night, and it would seem rather improper seeing as how "heartbroken" I was.
Plus she'd wish to come clubbing, because that was the excuse I would use, the excuse I usually used.
Luckily, for both of our sanities, I found in some hidden corner of my wardrobe precisely the right outfit ~ revealing yet still modest, if such a thing was probable.
I arrived at the pub at a little before 11 and luckily Chris was up to her eyeballs, so she didn't give me any trouble to get a key.
When I reached his room, I used the key Chris had "given" me and walked in, careful to make enough noise to wake him, because I didn't really relish the idea of being thrown across the room by a half conscious Jonesy.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Next morning I woke early, like usual and looked a the man lying next to me, sleeping peacefully, with no idea of what I was about to do, that I was going to walk out of his life again.
I left, leaving no evidence that I had been there, taking none with me, or so I thought at the time. How wrong I was.
~*~*~*~*~*~*
WOW!!! That's the longest chapter I've done ever!
I'd like to thank those of you who have reviewed, I appreciate it greatly.
BAuthor's Note: /b Do not sue me for the heart attack you may have just suffered due to the surprise of me having updated. It's not my fault that my muse does not like me at the moment.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Tess could tell what was going on in his mind. She'd thought it through many times herself. How was it that she had not only slept with a colleague after promising herself she wouldn't, but she hadn't even been separated a day, and now she was pregnant to him? It was not the sort of thing Tess Gallagher usually did.
"Mine? That's my baby?" The truth had not yet quite sunk into a very shocked Evan
"Not unless there is another Evan standing behind you." Tess could understand his disbelief; it had taken her a while to believe she was pregnant, and much longer to believe it was his.
She stood up to leave "I'll give you some time to think." Tess switched from concerned 'partner' to boss, "Take the rest of the day off, I'll tell the boss that you needed some personal time."
With that, Tess went inside, leaving him with no time to object
~~~//Memory (Tess' POV)//~~~
I sat there, staring almost constantly at the clock, willing the hands to speed up, yet dreading them doing so. I wanted 9 o'clock to come so much, yet dreading it at the same time. 9 o'clock, wen I could stop playing hostess, the same 9 o'clock when I'd be left alone, with nothing to occupy me but memories, feelings and needs.
Memories.... that day in the locker room, the advice from PJ, my marriage, and the worst of them all, today's revelation. The man I married because I was scared of love, of my feelings. Scared cared that what happened to my mother might happen to me-that love might walk out the door again and leave me standing alone with my heart in shreds
So, instead I broke my own heart. I ripped it to pieces, thinking that by doing it myself would make it hurt less, but it didn't.
I still saw him every day, and every day it hurt more, not less, and each day I saw that I had not only ripped his heart out but his as well.
And then today, well today, today I discovered I was living a façade. Not only had I broken both of our hearts, but I had also married a gay man. A man who had known he was gay for over 10 years. And my heart broke again. It was ironic that I felt betrayed, when I had betrayed him even more so.
*~#~*~#~*~#~*~#~*~#~*~#~*~#~*~#~*
It only took me 10 minutes to work this through in my head, and 10 minutes to work out that I had let him walk out of my life again and I was regretting it, again.
It had only been ½ an hour since he had left, but it seemed like eternity. It took me less than 5 minutes to clean up from dinner, with each movement rushed; yet it seemed to take an eternity.
A quick shower took care of the work place grime, but choosing an outfit presented a problem.
What to wear?
Evan always saw me in uniform or baggy clothes because that was basically all I owned. I wanted something that screamed "WOMAN" and would leave him in no doubt as to my feelings.
Normally, if my current situation could be called normal for me, I would borrow something off of Jo and bear the consequent questions but I doubted she, or PJ, would appreciate a call at quarter to 10 at night, and it would seem rather improper seeing as how "heartbroken" I was.
Plus she'd wish to come clubbing, because that was the excuse I would use, the excuse I usually used.
Luckily, for both of our sanities, I found in some hidden corner of my wardrobe precisely the right outfit ~ revealing yet still modest, if such a thing was probable.
I arrived at the pub at a little before 11 and luckily Chris was up to her eyeballs, so she didn't give me any trouble to get a key.
When I reached his room, I used the key Chris had "given" me and walked in, careful to make enough noise to wake him, because I didn't really relish the idea of being thrown across the room by a half conscious Jonesy.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Next morning I woke early, like usual and looked a the man lying next to me, sleeping peacefully, with no idea of what I was about to do, that I was going to walk out of his life again.
I left, leaving no evidence that I had been there, taking none with me, or so I thought at the time. How wrong I was.
~*~*~*~*~*~*
WOW!!! That's the longest chapter I've done ever!
I'd like to thank those of you who have reviewed, I appreciate it greatly.