"It's too tight," complained Padme as the dress shop owner tried to tighten Padme's dress in the back.
Elektra threw her daughter an impatient look and then gave to store keeper an apologetic smile.
"Mrs. Amidala, perhaps I could loosen the dress just a little," suggested the owner.
Padme looked over at her mother who had lost her apologetic smile and now just looked unhappy. Padme wasn't sure if it was at her for not being able to wear a dress her younger sister Elizabeth (who was skin and bones) wouldn't even be able to fit into, or at the shop keeper for suggesting that they loosen the dress so she might be able to breathe in it.
"Ofcourse not. Suck it in," demanded Elektra.
Padme felt the lady tighten it as she sucked it in. Then when it was done she could barely breathe, but her mother seemed dissatisfied. Padme was dying to ask her what was wrong now, but she knew if she did that once they got home she would never hear the end of it.
"Is something wrong, Ma'am?"
"Yes, something is very wrong."
Padme had to bite her lip and tongue to supress a sarcastic expression as well as comment. She was dying to say 'Something is always wrong...' She continued to bite her lip to hold backa giggle.
"I wanted her in a red dress. The dress you are fitting her in is blue," said Elektra.
'You're just now noticing that,' wondered Padme.
"Well, when you came in last week they didn't have the red dress you wanted in the size that you wanted it in. I asked you what we should do. You told me to do the next best thing. That would be this dress."
"Would you bring back that red dress? We'll see if we can't fit her into it," said Elektra.
Padme waited until the shop keeper went into the back before fixing her mother with a look of annoyance.
"Do not look at me like that. You will recieve wrinkles."
"I'm sixteen now. I doubt I will get any. We wouldn't be in this position if you and Anakin's mother didn't insist on having this party to celebrate our engagement, which I don't why needs to be celebrated now. We've practically been engaged for over Two years..."
"We're celebrating your upcoming wedding..."
"Upcoming wedding? Most people celebrate their weddings by the wedding and then having a celebration afterward. They don't celebrate it five months before it even happens... But ofcourse my family does," said Padme sarcastically.
"Ofcourse YOUR family does. We are different from them-"
"Believe me, I noticed."
"More is expected of us. So, ofcourse we are celebrating your wedding before AND after it happens!"
"You wouldn't be able too if I killed myself," said Padme sarcastically.
The shop keeper came back in. She held a long red dress over her arm that Padme was going to be wearing. Padme eyed it wearily. Usually she would love the idea of having everyone's attention, but not that night, and that was all the dress would do. It must have had jewls on it everywhere. And it was rather low cut. It went to the floor. But she put it on anyway. She knew the minute her mother gasped in pride that they would most deffinitely be buying the dress. At least she could breathe in it...
*************
Anakin was tempted to slap the lady who kept on putting a different vest on him for each minute, or telling him to change into this or that dress coat.. She had him in a shirt that was scratchy.
"Can I have a different shirt," said Anakin directly.
He saw that his mother wasn't too happy with that suggestion. She fixed him with a look but he looked at the lady with a sarcastic look.
"I'll see-"
"Believe me. That won't be necessary. The dress shirt looks fine on him. Don't you agree," asked Amethyst.
"Yes," said the lady.
"Well, I don't and I'm the one who will be wearing the damn thing!"
Amethyst fixed him with a cold look that told him he had better keep his comments to himself.
"Well, Ma'am, I think we have something that might actually work."
"That's what you said about every other suit..."
"Mr. Skywalker, won't you at least try it on?"
"Sure, why not?"
Amethyst waited until the shop keeper went in the back before really laying into him, but Anakin beat her to it.
"Why are we in this damn store? Usually they come to the house or we go to some other store instead of this one..."
"Well, in the other stores we would be stopped by people and all their questions," said Amethyst.
"What the hell could they possibly even want to know," asked Anakin.
She never got to answer her son's question because the lady came back in with a sleek looking top that Amethyst said they'd take. The shop keeper waited till they left before sighing in relief.
"Those Amidalas' and Skywalkers'... Their children deserve to be married..."
*******
Padme had just put the dress on and was standing in front of the mirror as Nana fussed with putting up the last piece of hair. Nana admired her handiwork. Then she noticed the look on Padme's face.
"What's wrong, my child?"
"Look at me..."
"I have never seen you look so beautiful. It's just nerves. Seeing Anakin will make you feel better..."
"Why do I have to wear this dress? Why did she have to plan this party, to show us off. I'm not ready to get married..."
"You will always have that cloud of doubt, but you must put one foot in front of the other and do it anyway. Besides, what could you want more in a husband. He's rich, handsome, and charming. He's your equel in every sense of the word. What more could you want?"
Padme looked at herself again in the mirror. Where was this self doubt coming from? She had never had it before. Why now? She threw her head back slightly and smirked at herself. There was nothing to worry about. She was Padme Nabberie Amidala. She was in the most beautiful gown imaginable. Her hair was done, and her date, her husband to be, was more handsome then them all. She didn't have one thing to worry about.
"There you go, my love. There you go. They can controle you, society, but only if you let them. But you can controle them, only if you let you."
She nodded her head. All she had to do was make it to the ball room of her home in one piece and the rest of the night would be okay.
"Can I go downstairs now," asked Padme anxiously.
"Absolutely not! You must wait for Anakin to escort you there," said Nana.
"Well, where is he," asked Padme impatiently.
"Didn't anyone ever tell you patience is a virtue," asked Anakin as he opened the door.
"No. No one has and no one will, least of all you," said Padme haughtily.
"Are you ready to go down there," asked Anakin.
"No, she's not. Remember everything I have taught you."
"Yes, I've heard this somewhere. Last time you gave me this speech I was rewarded with a husband. I know. Can we go now?!"
"I suppose. Anakin, take good care of her. Padme, don't forget to have fun."
"How?"
"Everyone is watching you waiting for you to make a mistake, but if you don't they failed. Everyone wants to be you, but no one can, but you. Remember that," said Nana as she gave PAdme a quick kiss on the cheek before letting the two walk out Padme's bedroom door.
They reached the steps that led to the bottom floor, which led to the ballroom.
"We're almost there," said Anakin.
"I can't do this. I can go back now..."
"Not a chance."
He gave her a firm look and watched her nod her head. She looked down the stairs with a look of confidence.
"Everything for the last two years has led up to this moment," whispered Padme.
"I know, which is why you're going to do fine. Just keep that look on your face as we walk down. We'll greet whoever we end up greeting. We'll dance. And I promise you we'll escape early. You look beautiful."
"You don't look so bad yourself, Anakin."
He watched the new wave of confidence sparkle on her face. She avoided eye contact with anyone until they reached the bottom. They were escorted into a room where people were dancing. Half the night they stood in a corner greeting various people and thanking them for their congratulations. All they did was smile the right way and say the right thing.
Then they danced a little. Padme was aware of everyone watching them as they danced, but they continued anyway. As they danced to their last song she looked into his eyes. He looked into her eyes. Nothing was said no emotion was shown in either's gaze. They just kept staring until the music came to a halt.
During dinner Anakin ate some. Padme watched him trying not to laugh. She knew what he was going to do. After dinner he would pretend something did not agree with his stomach. He would then go home and she could go to sleep. After all it wouldn't be proper for her to be seen at the party without her fiancee
***********
PAdme was not sure how she ended up in the carriage that was taking Anakin home. Clearly he had played sick a little too well and his mother was convinced that someone should at least stay with him until he reached the Skywalker mansion. Somehow Padme agreed and here she was sitting across from Anakin in a carriage, feeling uncomfortable. Ofocurse, as always, he noticed.
"What's wrong?"
"I'm scared."
"There's no reason to be scared. I'm not going to hurt you," said Anakin earnestly.
"I know. It's just too soon. I'm not ready to get married. I'm still young although most of my friends are married, I'm not ready to be."
"I understand."
"Do you really?"
"Ofcourse. That's why I wanted you to come with me for the ride. I've sensed your feelings on this matter for days now. That's the reason I am going off to school, to give us both time..."
"When will you be back?"
"Two years."
"I won't see you for two years?"
"By the time I come back you should be ready to become my wife and I will be farthered prepared to earn a living for our family."
Padme sighed deeply as she tried to soak in everything that Anakin had just said. He was leaving her for two years? This was different. For over two years now he had been involved in nearly every aspect of her life and she'd forgotten what life meant without Anakin.
"You can't leave me. I won't survive without you."
"You're Padme Amidala. You'll be fine."
"How do you know?"
"Because I know you don't need anyone, least of all me to make it. You may want me but you don't need me."
"How do you know that? What if I've forgotten what life means without you? What if I don't want to know what life means without you."
"You'll be fine. If you needed me you wouldn't have your doubts. Trust me. You'll be fine."
"Anakin? You can't just leave me. What am I to do without you? I don't even know what it IS to be without you anymore! I don't even know who I am without you!"
"Well, Padme, I suggest you figure it out."
Padme looked at Anakin as if he were a stranger. He was somehow different. A year ago they would have argued and argued and she would have incouraged him to leave as long as he wanted to be gone. Now she would complain or give him a sweet smile and he would do as she wanted, or at least something else. But for him to just completely turn from her with a serious voice and say that he was leaving was something she had never seen.
"Why are you doing this?"
He looked at her with a look that shut her up. He looked tortured, sad. She couldn't exactly describe the look she saw in his crystal bue eyes. She didn't want to.
"Padme, I am leaving tommorow. I will see you when I return."
The carriage pulled up to his house and he almost got out but Padme pulled his arm back and looked at him.
"Wait."
He looked at her and leaned back. And for the first time since he had met Padme he watched as tears streamed down her cheek. Right then he called her the fallen angel.
A part of him wanted to tell her he would never leave if she didn't want him to, but he had to! She needed time and if he was there when she had that time he'd be completley consumed by her.
He used his thumb to wipe away her tears. But as soon as he would new ones would run down her cheek. He cradled her face in his hands and just stared at her.
"Damn it. Don't do this. If you tell me not to leave I won't be able to, but I'll have to find a way. Damn it."
He expected her to tell him to never leave her to continue to say that she couldn't live without him, but she didn't. She just stared back at him speaking softly.
"Then you must go, Anakin. If you must does this then I tell you to do this, but why?"
"Because I-"
"Because you what?"
He couldn't contain himself. He softly kissed her. Then he kissed her cheeks. HE took his hands in hers.
"I will come back. I'll always come for you. Don't cry. The angel should never cry."
She sat up more and wrapped her arms around him tightly. She felt him do the same. She grabbed onto him as if he were her lifeline.
"Will you wait for me?"
"Always."
"Okay."
"I'll come tommorow before you leave to say goodbye. Besides, your family is not going to be very pleased."
"My father and yours already know and have given me their blessing. I'll see you tommorow..."
She watched him walk out of the car and into the house. Then she turned to the coachmen.
"Drive!"
********
The Skywalker Mansion was quite a site that next afternoon. Amethyst was crying and yelling at her husband for letting him go. Elektra was yelling at her husband for the exact same reasons. The only people who were quiet were Anakin and Padme. They slipped outside to one of the many gardens in their backyard. He held her hand and had her seat on one of the benches. He sat next to her.
"You've been quiet all day...."
"There was nothing for me to say. There were no words I could say to keep you here. There were no words I could say to express how I feel about leaving. So, I did the only thing I could do. I said nothing at all," said Padme.
"I'll coem back and it iwll be like I had just left. You won't even notice at all that I was gone," said anakin.
"Won't notice? I'll only notice every hour your gone. I'll only notice that you're not here to talk to me, lecture me, yell at me, be my strength, kiss me and-"
"Love you?"
Padme looked at the ground as the tears fell from her eyes. She didn't trust her voice at the moment. She shrugged her shoulders and then looked up at him.
"Goodbye, Anakin."
She turned to run in the house never to see him for two years, but she felt a strong hand pull her back, pull her into a strong body. She felt as if his hands were everywhere at the same time. Then when his lips touched her in a passionate kiss he held her tight. She pulled away and just looked at him.
"I'll be here waiting..."
"And I'll be there waiting..."
She hugged him one last time before walking withihm tot he front of the house where his parents were waiting. They both gave him hugs befor edisappearing into the house. He watched as Servants loaded his luggage into the carriage. He turned to Padme who looked distruaght.
"Will you watch me as I go so that-"
"I'll still watch after I can't see you."
She took her hand in his and it remained that way until he got ot the carriage dorr and their hands could no longer reach. She watched him watch her as his carriage became smaller and smaller, until it was just a dot in the distance. She still watched. She knew she would see him in two more years and she did...
Elektra threw her daughter an impatient look and then gave to store keeper an apologetic smile.
"Mrs. Amidala, perhaps I could loosen the dress just a little," suggested the owner.
Padme looked over at her mother who had lost her apologetic smile and now just looked unhappy. Padme wasn't sure if it was at her for not being able to wear a dress her younger sister Elizabeth (who was skin and bones) wouldn't even be able to fit into, or at the shop keeper for suggesting that they loosen the dress so she might be able to breathe in it.
"Ofcourse not. Suck it in," demanded Elektra.
Padme felt the lady tighten it as she sucked it in. Then when it was done she could barely breathe, but her mother seemed dissatisfied. Padme was dying to ask her what was wrong now, but she knew if she did that once they got home she would never hear the end of it.
"Is something wrong, Ma'am?"
"Yes, something is very wrong."
Padme had to bite her lip and tongue to supress a sarcastic expression as well as comment. She was dying to say 'Something is always wrong...' She continued to bite her lip to hold backa giggle.
"I wanted her in a red dress. The dress you are fitting her in is blue," said Elektra.
'You're just now noticing that,' wondered Padme.
"Well, when you came in last week they didn't have the red dress you wanted in the size that you wanted it in. I asked you what we should do. You told me to do the next best thing. That would be this dress."
"Would you bring back that red dress? We'll see if we can't fit her into it," said Elektra.
Padme waited until the shop keeper went into the back before fixing her mother with a look of annoyance.
"Do not look at me like that. You will recieve wrinkles."
"I'm sixteen now. I doubt I will get any. We wouldn't be in this position if you and Anakin's mother didn't insist on having this party to celebrate our engagement, which I don't why needs to be celebrated now. We've practically been engaged for over Two years..."
"We're celebrating your upcoming wedding..."
"Upcoming wedding? Most people celebrate their weddings by the wedding and then having a celebration afterward. They don't celebrate it five months before it even happens... But ofcourse my family does," said Padme sarcastically.
"Ofcourse YOUR family does. We are different from them-"
"Believe me, I noticed."
"More is expected of us. So, ofcourse we are celebrating your wedding before AND after it happens!"
"You wouldn't be able too if I killed myself," said Padme sarcastically.
The shop keeper came back in. She held a long red dress over her arm that Padme was going to be wearing. Padme eyed it wearily. Usually she would love the idea of having everyone's attention, but not that night, and that was all the dress would do. It must have had jewls on it everywhere. And it was rather low cut. It went to the floor. But she put it on anyway. She knew the minute her mother gasped in pride that they would most deffinitely be buying the dress. At least she could breathe in it...
*************
Anakin was tempted to slap the lady who kept on putting a different vest on him for each minute, or telling him to change into this or that dress coat.. She had him in a shirt that was scratchy.
"Can I have a different shirt," said Anakin directly.
He saw that his mother wasn't too happy with that suggestion. She fixed him with a look but he looked at the lady with a sarcastic look.
"I'll see-"
"Believe me. That won't be necessary. The dress shirt looks fine on him. Don't you agree," asked Amethyst.
"Yes," said the lady.
"Well, I don't and I'm the one who will be wearing the damn thing!"
Amethyst fixed him with a cold look that told him he had better keep his comments to himself.
"Well, Ma'am, I think we have something that might actually work."
"That's what you said about every other suit..."
"Mr. Skywalker, won't you at least try it on?"
"Sure, why not?"
Amethyst waited until the shop keeper went in the back before really laying into him, but Anakin beat her to it.
"Why are we in this damn store? Usually they come to the house or we go to some other store instead of this one..."
"Well, in the other stores we would be stopped by people and all their questions," said Amethyst.
"What the hell could they possibly even want to know," asked Anakin.
She never got to answer her son's question because the lady came back in with a sleek looking top that Amethyst said they'd take. The shop keeper waited till they left before sighing in relief.
"Those Amidalas' and Skywalkers'... Their children deserve to be married..."
*******
Padme had just put the dress on and was standing in front of the mirror as Nana fussed with putting up the last piece of hair. Nana admired her handiwork. Then she noticed the look on Padme's face.
"What's wrong, my child?"
"Look at me..."
"I have never seen you look so beautiful. It's just nerves. Seeing Anakin will make you feel better..."
"Why do I have to wear this dress? Why did she have to plan this party, to show us off. I'm not ready to get married..."
"You will always have that cloud of doubt, but you must put one foot in front of the other and do it anyway. Besides, what could you want more in a husband. He's rich, handsome, and charming. He's your equel in every sense of the word. What more could you want?"
Padme looked at herself again in the mirror. Where was this self doubt coming from? She had never had it before. Why now? She threw her head back slightly and smirked at herself. There was nothing to worry about. She was Padme Nabberie Amidala. She was in the most beautiful gown imaginable. Her hair was done, and her date, her husband to be, was more handsome then them all. She didn't have one thing to worry about.
"There you go, my love. There you go. They can controle you, society, but only if you let them. But you can controle them, only if you let you."
She nodded her head. All she had to do was make it to the ball room of her home in one piece and the rest of the night would be okay.
"Can I go downstairs now," asked Padme anxiously.
"Absolutely not! You must wait for Anakin to escort you there," said Nana.
"Well, where is he," asked Padme impatiently.
"Didn't anyone ever tell you patience is a virtue," asked Anakin as he opened the door.
"No. No one has and no one will, least of all you," said Padme haughtily.
"Are you ready to go down there," asked Anakin.
"No, she's not. Remember everything I have taught you."
"Yes, I've heard this somewhere. Last time you gave me this speech I was rewarded with a husband. I know. Can we go now?!"
"I suppose. Anakin, take good care of her. Padme, don't forget to have fun."
"How?"
"Everyone is watching you waiting for you to make a mistake, but if you don't they failed. Everyone wants to be you, but no one can, but you. Remember that," said Nana as she gave PAdme a quick kiss on the cheek before letting the two walk out Padme's bedroom door.
They reached the steps that led to the bottom floor, which led to the ballroom.
"We're almost there," said Anakin.
"I can't do this. I can go back now..."
"Not a chance."
He gave her a firm look and watched her nod her head. She looked down the stairs with a look of confidence.
"Everything for the last two years has led up to this moment," whispered Padme.
"I know, which is why you're going to do fine. Just keep that look on your face as we walk down. We'll greet whoever we end up greeting. We'll dance. And I promise you we'll escape early. You look beautiful."
"You don't look so bad yourself, Anakin."
He watched the new wave of confidence sparkle on her face. She avoided eye contact with anyone until they reached the bottom. They were escorted into a room where people were dancing. Half the night they stood in a corner greeting various people and thanking them for their congratulations. All they did was smile the right way and say the right thing.
Then they danced a little. Padme was aware of everyone watching them as they danced, but they continued anyway. As they danced to their last song she looked into his eyes. He looked into her eyes. Nothing was said no emotion was shown in either's gaze. They just kept staring until the music came to a halt.
During dinner Anakin ate some. Padme watched him trying not to laugh. She knew what he was going to do. After dinner he would pretend something did not agree with his stomach. He would then go home and she could go to sleep. After all it wouldn't be proper for her to be seen at the party without her fiancee
***********
PAdme was not sure how she ended up in the carriage that was taking Anakin home. Clearly he had played sick a little too well and his mother was convinced that someone should at least stay with him until he reached the Skywalker mansion. Somehow Padme agreed and here she was sitting across from Anakin in a carriage, feeling uncomfortable. Ofocurse, as always, he noticed.
"What's wrong?"
"I'm scared."
"There's no reason to be scared. I'm not going to hurt you," said Anakin earnestly.
"I know. It's just too soon. I'm not ready to get married. I'm still young although most of my friends are married, I'm not ready to be."
"I understand."
"Do you really?"
"Ofcourse. That's why I wanted you to come with me for the ride. I've sensed your feelings on this matter for days now. That's the reason I am going off to school, to give us both time..."
"When will you be back?"
"Two years."
"I won't see you for two years?"
"By the time I come back you should be ready to become my wife and I will be farthered prepared to earn a living for our family."
Padme sighed deeply as she tried to soak in everything that Anakin had just said. He was leaving her for two years? This was different. For over two years now he had been involved in nearly every aspect of her life and she'd forgotten what life meant without Anakin.
"You can't leave me. I won't survive without you."
"You're Padme Amidala. You'll be fine."
"How do you know?"
"Because I know you don't need anyone, least of all me to make it. You may want me but you don't need me."
"How do you know that? What if I've forgotten what life means without you? What if I don't want to know what life means without you."
"You'll be fine. If you needed me you wouldn't have your doubts. Trust me. You'll be fine."
"Anakin? You can't just leave me. What am I to do without you? I don't even know what it IS to be without you anymore! I don't even know who I am without you!"
"Well, Padme, I suggest you figure it out."
Padme looked at Anakin as if he were a stranger. He was somehow different. A year ago they would have argued and argued and she would have incouraged him to leave as long as he wanted to be gone. Now she would complain or give him a sweet smile and he would do as she wanted, or at least something else. But for him to just completely turn from her with a serious voice and say that he was leaving was something she had never seen.
"Why are you doing this?"
He looked at her with a look that shut her up. He looked tortured, sad. She couldn't exactly describe the look she saw in his crystal bue eyes. She didn't want to.
"Padme, I am leaving tommorow. I will see you when I return."
The carriage pulled up to his house and he almost got out but Padme pulled his arm back and looked at him.
"Wait."
He looked at her and leaned back. And for the first time since he had met Padme he watched as tears streamed down her cheek. Right then he called her the fallen angel.
A part of him wanted to tell her he would never leave if she didn't want him to, but he had to! She needed time and if he was there when she had that time he'd be completley consumed by her.
He used his thumb to wipe away her tears. But as soon as he would new ones would run down her cheek. He cradled her face in his hands and just stared at her.
"Damn it. Don't do this. If you tell me not to leave I won't be able to, but I'll have to find a way. Damn it."
He expected her to tell him to never leave her to continue to say that she couldn't live without him, but she didn't. She just stared back at him speaking softly.
"Then you must go, Anakin. If you must does this then I tell you to do this, but why?"
"Because I-"
"Because you what?"
He couldn't contain himself. He softly kissed her. Then he kissed her cheeks. HE took his hands in hers.
"I will come back. I'll always come for you. Don't cry. The angel should never cry."
She sat up more and wrapped her arms around him tightly. She felt him do the same. She grabbed onto him as if he were her lifeline.
"Will you wait for me?"
"Always."
"Okay."
"I'll come tommorow before you leave to say goodbye. Besides, your family is not going to be very pleased."
"My father and yours already know and have given me their blessing. I'll see you tommorow..."
She watched him walk out of the car and into the house. Then she turned to the coachmen.
"Drive!"
********
The Skywalker Mansion was quite a site that next afternoon. Amethyst was crying and yelling at her husband for letting him go. Elektra was yelling at her husband for the exact same reasons. The only people who were quiet were Anakin and Padme. They slipped outside to one of the many gardens in their backyard. He held her hand and had her seat on one of the benches. He sat next to her.
"You've been quiet all day...."
"There was nothing for me to say. There were no words I could say to keep you here. There were no words I could say to express how I feel about leaving. So, I did the only thing I could do. I said nothing at all," said Padme.
"I'll coem back and it iwll be like I had just left. You won't even notice at all that I was gone," said anakin.
"Won't notice? I'll only notice every hour your gone. I'll only notice that you're not here to talk to me, lecture me, yell at me, be my strength, kiss me and-"
"Love you?"
Padme looked at the ground as the tears fell from her eyes. She didn't trust her voice at the moment. She shrugged her shoulders and then looked up at him.
"Goodbye, Anakin."
She turned to run in the house never to see him for two years, but she felt a strong hand pull her back, pull her into a strong body. She felt as if his hands were everywhere at the same time. Then when his lips touched her in a passionate kiss he held her tight. She pulled away and just looked at him.
"I'll be here waiting..."
"And I'll be there waiting..."
She hugged him one last time before walking withihm tot he front of the house where his parents were waiting. They both gave him hugs befor edisappearing into the house. He watched as Servants loaded his luggage into the carriage. He turned to Padme who looked distruaght.
"Will you watch me as I go so that-"
"I'll still watch after I can't see you."
She took her hand in his and it remained that way until he got ot the carriage dorr and their hands could no longer reach. She watched him watch her as his carriage became smaller and smaller, until it was just a dot in the distance. She still watched. She knew she would see him in two more years and she did...