Chapter 24

Hermione lay on her bed in a sluggish manner with her body faced to the inner wall. Her eyes were closed as she recounted one memory after another, from the time she had first put a foot on the Hogwarts train when she was eleven to the day that Ron had confessed his feelings to her.

She visualized that night in November when Ron had gotten down to his knees and had begged for her forgiveness. The way he'd looked up at her with that innocent face had melted her heart like sharp ice under excruciating flames. Hermione could still hear Ron's nervous voice say, "Hermione, can I ask you a question?" as if he was intimidated by her answer.

Hermione got a tingling feeling in her body when she thought about that Ron but she got a dark feeling when she pictured him ripping off her necklace and saying that he didn't love her.

A tear left her. She wanted the old Ron back…She wanted the Ron who spent hours walking and talking with her, the Ron who came to visit her in the Hospital Wing everyday, the Ron who made her smile.

Hermione wished she was a kid again, the time when she only cared about her books and homework and tests and was mainly a systematic person. Sure, friends were important then but they didn't take complete control of her emotions like they were now.

Come on, Hermione, get up and away from your misery, a voice inside her head commanded her.

Hermione got to her feet and faced the closed window in the middle of the room. She pulled the shades to one side and stared at the Quidditch field, making her double back for a second. The field looked like utter chaos, with a heap of miniscule figures huddled at the Gryffindor side of the field and an array of people assembled at the border.

The match was over. But who won? Hermione took a closer look and noticed that the Gryffindor benches were all empty and assumed the mass crowd on the field was Gryffindors congratulating the team.

A slight smile came on Hermione's face and she decided to go congratulate them for their victory. She pulled out a mirror from her mini-dresser and looked at her reflection. Her face appeared so sallow and her eyes showed no life whatsoever. Her usual dark straight hair was poofed up in the back like someone had aimed a blow dryer at it for two hours.

Hermione sighed. Normally, she would have cast a spell on it to make it look better but she didn't care now. She ran a hand through her hair quickly, buttoned up her loosened robe, and left the room, hoping everyone would be able to cheer her up.

But as soon as she stepped outside for the first time that day, she knew being cheered up would be far from possible.

Hermione looked up as the scorching sun as she ran to the immense crowd now all circled around something or someone.

After a minute, Hermione gasped for some breath as she got to the other side of the field. The nearest to her was Neville, who was standing on the outside of the pack of people, and she reached out her arm to him, "What's going on? What happened?"

Neville turned, "Malfoy attacked Harry and I think Dumbledore's fixing him," he examined her from top to bottom with raised eyes, "Where have you been?"

"Ohhh…" Hermione pushed Neville aside, "Move."

She pushed herself in through the people, scared about what she was going to have to witness. But as she began to reach the inner part of the crowd, a head of ruffled black hair showed amongst the people and stormed across.

Hermione pushed aside the last person in her way and envisioned the whole picture in front of her. Harry, equipped with his wand, was marching to the Slytherin team sitting on the benches, with his red and golden robes flying both ways, and Ginny was following him not as fast as Harry, but in a swift pace.

Hermione turned to the right and found Dumbledore standing next to her with a serious face. She looked at Harry and then back at Dumbledore, who still hadn't caught her observing him.

As politely as she could, she said, "Professor Dumbledore, aren't you going to stop him?"

Dumbledore jumped at her voice; a jump that Hermione would not have expected from Dumbledore. He focused his eyes on her and stared at her for a moment as if he was considering something before saying, "I think it is very necessary for Harry to let his anger out at the present time."

I don't think so, she thought, "But, Professor Dumbledore, don't you think perhaps you should-"

"Ah!" Dumbledore flung his arm, "I have to discuss your N.E.W.T results with you!"

Brushing aside the fact that Dumbledore had her N.E.W.T results, she noticed that something very strange was going on. To Hermione, Dumbledore was a calm and wise wizard who would stop anything from harming Harry. He wouldn't jump at her voice and try to steer her away when Harry was about to get in trouble.

So when Dumbledore ushered her to come with him, she left him to one side and turned into a cat. Without looking back for his reaction, she scurried past them rapidly, but stopped midway. The word crucio rang out in the field and Hermione saw Draco shake and scream with excruciating pain and then crash to the ground as Ginny struck Harry's wand away in a flash.

Hermione could not believe what she had just seen. Harry had used an Unforgivable curse in front of the whole school. This was not going to turn out good; hell had arrived.

The next events were a blur to her. The teachers rushed down to the field to where Harry was standing, girls in the Slytherin benches shrieked in horror and ran for it, and the Gryffindor team even disappeared out of her sight.

Hermione transformed into her human self and darted to Ginny, who was standing horrified a few feet away from Harry and the teachers. Professor McGonagall was flabbergasted and totally not her usual stern self, Tonks had an extremely worried face that Hermione had never seen before, and even Snape appeared mildly concerned about what was going to happen next.

Hermione faced Ginny, "What, in the name of Merlin, is going on?"

"He found out that his Firebolt was crushed into pieces, and the next thing I see is him storming off to attack Malfoy! What do you think's going to happen?"

"I hope what I think will happen won't happen but if it does happen, then…"

"Meaning?" said Ginny eagerly.

Hermione's eyes traveled around and rested upon a group of figures in big cloaks coming their way, "Meaning…that." She pointed at them, and Ginny's eyes followed.

"Oh no…no no no…"

All of the teachers turned their heads to the wizards and witches now only a few feet away from them. They were all dressed in red cloaks and equipped wands.

A tall man with grey hair and a stone cold expression on his face approached Harry and spoke formally, "From the Department of Magical Law Enforcement and in order from Mistress of Magic Amelia Bones, you, Harry James Potter, are under arrest for performing the Cruciatus Curse on Draco Malfoy at two twenty one this afternoon with a life sentence in Azkaban prison."

Hermione escorted a helpless Ginny back to the common room with her arm supporting Ginny's shoulders. She terribly wished Ginny would stop sobbing because it was making tears come out of Hermione's eyes. She couldn't handle this much sadness and if she tried to think about it all at one time she was sure to get some major psychological trauma.

Harry was in Azkaban…Azkaban…forever…

"Over here." Hermione led Ginny to their usual spot by the fireplace and unexpectedly, Ginny crashed down on the floor and immediately buried her face in her hands. Hermione laid herself on the chair in front of her. Instinctively, Hermione spat out, "Would you stop crying?" Realizing how rude she sounded, Hermione added, "Please?"

"Shut it!" retorted Ginny, "Take a look at yourself first!"

With a swift hand, Hermione wiped off her tears and closed and opened her eyes a several times to stop the tear flow. When that didn't quite work, she elevated her head so the tears wouldn't flow down.

She rocked her body forward, "See? No tears. Ginny…stop crying…please. We will get Harry back, I promise you. Have faith."

Ginny darted her eyes at Hermione, "How? How are we going to get him back? We're just useless teenagers who don't have the power to do anything-"

"Stop it, stop it! You'll drive me crazy!" Hermione closed her mouth once again and almost smacked herself for being so hostile in words. She knelt down to Ginny and tried to speak in an apologetic manner, "I seriously don't want to think about it right now, Ginny, I can't handle it. The whole world has turned upside down suddenly…We have to think and figure out what happened back there, and maybe…maybe we'll have a chance to prove that Harry's innocent."

She couldn't exactly apprehend it, but Hermione was having weird feelings inside of her, making her feel like someone had broken in through her barrier, leaving her unprotected. The world was in chaos, and Harry had just been arrested and taken to Azkaban. As Hermione watched Ginny's feeble form on the floor, she got an even worse feeling, warning her that anything could happen to make their lives, if that was even possible.

The only solution to this was Ron…she needed Ron…

"Innocent!" Ginny fumed, breaking Hermione's train of thought, "How the hell are we supposed to do that? I saw him, you saw him, the whole world saw him! He ran straight at Malfoy and cursed him practically to death. What would we say? That he was possessed?"

Hermione considered this, but shook her head, "No, not possessed…"

She closed her mouth because she had just sensed a movement to her right, and when she faced that way, her brain was in shock. Hermione looked up at the pale face closing in on them for a second before she lowered her eyes.

I asked for him, she contemplated, and here he is.

Hermione's consternation was playing with her mind in a funny way. She wanted Ron to come to her and apologize, but on the other hand, she didn't want to talk to him. It would automatically be giving up her integrity and feelings just for her lover and that wasn't right. She didn't think she should forgive him, but she wanted to be in his arms again…

However, Hermione didn't have to worry about this because Ron kneeled down in front of Ginny with a determined look on his face. He took no note of Hermione's presence.

"I'm so sorry Ginny. For everything." said Ron, his head slouched down.

"So now you're apologizing for your hostile behavior? After Harry's out of your sight and gone forever? If you think you'll regain your image in my eyes now, you're kidding yourself."

"No, No! You've got it all wrong! Come on Ginny, I'm your brother! Okay, I know I was acting stupid-"

"And still are-"

"-But I think I just realized it today-"

"Oh, what a bunch of crap!" shrieked Ginny, "You're just happy he's out of the way so he can't kill me! You just came to talk to me for your own pride, not-"

"Ginny, stop." interrupted Hermione, in a forceful manner. Ginny was an emotional mess right now and Hermione didn't want her friend to say things that she would later regret. They did not need another separation like they had with Percy, and as she turned her head in Ron's direction, she could tell that he could not take any more insults or accusations.

Ginny gave out one of those mad cackles, "Look at you defending him! You should be on my side, not his. He hurt the both of us, not just me!"

Hermione expected Ron to look at her, or even give her a half-second glance, but it didn't come. It was as if he was hiding himself in shame, away from her. But why would he apologize to Ginny but not to her? A deep feeling sank inside her heart, but she ignored it and decided to produce a more rational conversation.

"Just put aside all of that for now, Ginny. I refuse to believe that any one of us doesn't want Harry back, so we have to figure out what happened."

Ron, however, had no intention to discuss this, and jumped at the chance to talk, "Ginny, just listen to me. I know I was acting stupid these past few weeks, or no, the past few years, of being too overprotective. I remember when I first found out that you were dating Michael Corner and my defense immediately came up and I don't think I ever liked him after that. Whenever I think of you together with a guy, I just want to separate you from them as far as possible because I know guys are…vicious." He took a deep breath, "I don't want them to hurt you. You're my little sister and it's my responsibility to look after you. I guess it didn't matter to me if it was Michael, Dean, or even Harry because I was looking out for you."

Ginny sniffed, "I get that, but you still went too far. Even if you are my brother, you can't keep us away like that. If I seem to remember correctly, you told Harry to choose someone 'better' after he broke up with Cho and when we finally do get together, you barge in on us and accuse Harry of having the possibility to kill me?"

Hermione perceived a dreamy, yet determined look on Ron's face when he spoke, "I think I was more worried about him than even the other ones, I don't know why…actually, I do," the tone of his voice changed, "I knew how much power he had…has, and I thought he would hurt you just like he almost did to-"

Hermione stared hard at her numb fingers and felt herself being pulled back into this strange connection…

"And like today-"

"That wasn't his fault," contradicted Ginny, but in a much more controlled manner, "It was Malfoy."

"Always is," Ron muttered, making Hermione feel more awkward than before, "But do you see what I'm saying? With that much power and courage to do that to…people, I thought it would be even more important to keep you away from him."

Ginny shook her head, "You make him sound like a ruffian. He's just Harry, the same Harry who came to Hogwarts in hope of reversing his life fortune, but instead of improvement, his life just got worse. We're the only ones he has, and when you turned on him like that, do you have any idea what you made him feel like?"

Ron didn't answer.

"An orphan, that's what." Ginny's face was free of tears now, but her eyes were still red. "Sure, he has me and Hermione, but it's different from your friendship with him."

Hermione felt like an angel, watching this scene from above and calculating it, but she also wanted to land and butt in their conversation because she had a hundred thoughts swirling in her head. In the end, she kept her mouth closed and stayed out of the brother-sister reconciliation.

"Forgive me?" said Ron.

"For being a nagging brother, yes. For accusing Harry, no, unless you bring him back…"

"I will. I promise. Please forgive me?" said Ron, his eyebrows contracting, "Or am I going to have to call Fred and George for professional help?"

As an answer, Ginny brushed her knees across the floor to him and gave him a hug, and Hermione could see a tear escape Ginny's eye.

Hermione smiled in spite of the situation; finally, the broken pieces of the puzzle were adhering. Now, only if she could go up to him and embrace him, but Ron's last words kept on following her like a stalker or an obsessed ghost. Was it true? She asked herself. Was she just his first crush, and no more?

When Ginny broke off her hug, she witnessed Hermione's face and after blinking a few times in thought, she said, "Oh…I just thought of something that could help bring Harry back…" Hermione knew she was lying, but Ron opened his mouth, "Really? What?"

Ginny pointed towards the door as she got to her feet, "I'm gonna go talk to one of the teachers. They're bound to know something…" The rest of her sentence trailed off and she gave both of them a furtive look, "You two work on it too. Try to think of anything helpful. Hermione, use your full brain-power and Ron, you…" Ron raised an eyebrow, and Ginny continued with a sign of a grin, "work with Hermione. Find out everything about the match, if there were suspicious people there, if the Slytherins cast a spell on Harry or made him drink a dangerous potion. Break in the Slytherin Common Room if you have to and threaten them, got it? And speaking of threatening…I wonder if I can get my hands on some Veritaserum…"

Hermione and Ron flew up in protest, "No!"

"Thanks for agreeing," said Ginny, dashing across the room, and disappeared out of their sight.

Hermione felt stupid for getting up like that. She lowered herself down on the floor and crossed her legs. Ron took a seat on the chair behind her so he wasn't facing her.

It was one of the most uncomfortable moments in her life; just sitting there, waiting for Ron to come to talk to her when she knew that he was probably also expecting her to say something to him first. They were like two negative ends to a magnet forcing to separate themselves when they were so close to each other. Hermione didn't' know what Ron was doing thinking about just sitting there on the chair, but all she could think about was the person behind her. Why wasn't he saying anything to her? Even a sound coming out of his mouth would have gotten her heart thumping faster.

The common room was surprisingly empty and while a few people came in to get something, they didn't stay long. Hermione couldn't tell if a second, minute, or an hour had passed by, but if felt like her heart was decaying second by second.

Finally, a timid voice rang out, "Thought of anything?"

Hermione turned her head halfway and cleared her throat, "No." I'm too busy thinking about you, she contemplated.

"Oh, well, I-"

Thinking that it was safe, she turned to face him the whole way, but perceived his eyes pointing down to his stained blue hands.

"-was thinking that he was put under some spell right after he ran at Malfoy and fell."

"What kind of spell?" she said indifferently, her eyes lowered as well.

"Right after Malfoy caught the Snitch, eh hit Harry with a spell that knocked him out. It probably did something to him, although I don't know why Malfoy bothered. That fall could have killed Harry if I hadn't been there to catch him."

Hermione shot her eyes at him and all of a sudden, the indifference left her voice, "You caught him? Did…does Harry know that?"

"No, don't think so. He was unconscious when I put him down, and then I left."

The way this conversation sounded, it seemed like they were both coworkers with no account of their personal life but only their work. Well…it was a start…

"But back to Drac-Malfoy," Hermione corrected herself, "The only curse that could have made Harry do that was the Imperius curse. He's powerful, but not that powerful to perform that curse. It had to be someone else near the field."

"Who? No Death Eater would be stupid enough to attack Harry in front of all those teachers."

"Quirrell did."

"Quirrell was a nutcase." Ron added.

Hermione nodded. It felt so strange to talk to him with no compassion, but just focus on their mission. But, on the bright side, she could feel those magnets coming closer.

"I'm still betting on Malfoy." said Ron.

Malfoy…his scarred and bloodied face floated into her head and she had a flashback to that day in the woods near Hogsmeade.

"The woods…that's where Malfoy was that day-"

That day…the horrible day…Hermione could see Ron's cheeks growing red.

"Yeah…near Hogsmeade. I know Voldemort's whole possy is hanging around somewhere near the castle, but the trouble is finding the place. They must have themselves protected by spells and everything. Voldemort is no Muggle. Some, somehow we have to expose them before Harry goes insane in Azkaban…but how…"

"Dumbledore." said Ron simply, but Hermione shook her head, "He went with Harry, and Ginny's already went to one of the teachers for help…so it's up to us…"

The word 'us' was nice to say again. Us, us, us, us…

Ron broke her spell bounding thought, "The Maurader's map. Maybe if you can find a spell to reveal the most hidden places, then there'll be a chance."

As Ron turned to the direction of the boys dormitory, Hermione said, "Good idea…are you going to get it?"

Ron kicked his right foot back and forth in nervousness, "Uh…can you come with me?"

Her heart jumped.

"I mean," Ron hastily added, "I think he has it locked up real secure so I might need some help to open it."

She nodded and followed him up the stairs to the boys dormitory. Her heart was racing. She had not gotten this rushed and overwhelmed feeling in a long time.

As Hermione walked past the corridor to their dormitory, she was reminded of last time she had been here in Ron's arms…

Ron opened the door and immediately, the sunlight streaked through the window and went straight into Hermione's eyes. She closed her eyes in an instant and took a step forward. Unaware, she leaned forward and bumped into Ron. For that second, she had the urge to grab him from behind and never let go of him, but that was not what she ended up doing.

"Sorry." They both mumbled, and then went ahead to find Harry's trunk. Ron grasped onto its handle under Harry's bed and pulled the closed trunk out.

Ron got out of the way and as Hermione stepped up to it, their eyes met for a fraction of a second. He has that sorry but confused look in his eyes, she considered as she kneeled down and pulled out her wand. After a couple of attempts, the trunk opened. Both of them rummaged through it but did not find it.

Hermione huffed in frustration.

"Now what?" asked Ron.

"Let's check the rest of the room."

Ron checked everything under Harry's bed, mattress, and his mini desk next to the bed, while Hermione went to the other side and decided to search there. Hermione was getting a peculiar feeling from being in this room again; it was as if her old life was returning back to her.

She checked under Ron's bed just in case Harry had put it under there a long time ago, and then scourged Ron's desk but couldn't find anything else than a bunch of Quidditch books.

There was one spot she hadn't checked, so she walked over to Ron's bed again and lifted up the mattress. Hermione had expected to find nothing, but on the contrary, she was looking at innumerable amounts of parchment scattered all over with untidy scrawls encrusted on them. In curiosity, she picked up on of the pieces of parchment and read the familiar handwriting:

I'm so sorry Hermione. I thought you were kissing Malfoy, and that my eyes ad malfunctioned, but in reality, you were. It drove me crazy and-

And that was the end of the sentence. Hermione stared at the parchment for a few seconds before realizing that this was an unfinished apology note. Ron did not know that she was reading it because he was now checking Dean and Neville's things. Hermione put her eyes on the parchment and wondered why he hadn't finished it.

The answer to that was in front of her. Hermione picked up another scroll:

I'm such a prick. I was so cruel to you, but maybe if I hadn't seen you and Malfoy together alone then I wouldn't have freaked.

The next one:

I am so so so so sorry that I can't even begin to explain it.

Her hands were shaking uncontrollably. She felt so overwhelmed that she couldn't explain the feeling either. Why all these letters? Why not just tell it to her face, or at least give her the letters instead of stuffing them here?

The rest of them were just one-lined or scribbles, except for one. She picked it up.

I don't know how you could put up with me because I'm the stupidest and dumbest person in the history of this world. How should I say sorry? How could I say sorry when the word sorry doesn't begin to cover it. Even a thousand words wouldn't be enough to apologize for my mistakes. I should say all of this in front of you but I'm too ashamed of myself. Accusing you of kissing Malfoy was really wrong because I know deep down that you would never do that, but when I saw it, I panicked. Something came over me. I thought you didn't care about me anymore or love me…so I told you that I didn't love you, but I was lying. I still love you and I always have but I was too dumb to realize it. There's nothing you could do to make me stop loving you because you are part of my life and my heart. If it broke, then I wouldn't survive even for a day. I can't do anything right if you're not a part of me and I don't want you ever to leave me. As much as I know what love is, I love you, care about you, love staring at you, love arguing with you, love copying homework from you, love being badgered by you, love talking and walking with you, love hugging you, kissing you. I am so sorry for hurting you. Punish me any way you want, but take me back-

"Found it." Ron spoke, holding the Marauder's Map in his hand.

"I found it too." said Hermione, as tears trailed down her cheek.

"Found what?" Ron twirled at Hermione's comment to find a roll of parchment vibrating in her hands. His eyes elevated to her somber face and saw that she was crying.

Hermione held up the parchment in front of his shocked figure and spoke with a crying voice, "You're right…You are a prick…"

Ron had that I-totally-messed-up look, but Hermione couldn't decide if it was for his past actions or for the fact that he hid like a hundred apology letters under his bed.

"Why didn't you tell me?" she demanded, as she wiped her eyes.

Ron sat down on Harry's bed, folded his hands as if he was in a business meeting, and gazed out the window in process of averting Hermione's interrogation. But Hermione did not believe it to be an interrogation, only her wish that Ron would explain himself. What was wrong with him? He never kept anything inside, of course, by having the biggest mouth ever, but why did he have to resort to letters this time? Remembering of course that the letters never reached her.

As Hermione looked at him, she caught a glimpse of his blue-fingered hands, "So that's why your fingers are ink stained. I saw that downstairs bud didn't say anything about it. Anyway…answer my question. Why did you write this and not tell me?"

Ron remained silent and still, and it seemed as if his fiery red hair and usual lively eyes were obeying his mood.

Not knowing what else to try to get him to speak, she got on her knees in front of him to get a better leveling eye to eye, and took hold of his hands, causing a chill to transfer from his hands to hers.

"I know why. I'm just trying to get you to say it, but I guess it won't work. You're embarrassed, aren't you? Ashamed…you wrote it in there, she shot an eye to the paper she'd placed on the bed next to him, "I never thought I'd see the day where you would be ashamed to tell me something."

It was like talking to a mime, a very sad and gloomy looking mime. Hermione took a deep breath and went on, "I should get this clear first because I think this is always going to keep coming up unless we talk about it. I do NOT like Malfoy. I don't like him that way now and I never will, but only as a friend. Well, maybe not even as a friend from what trouble he's caused. He's Draco Malfoy and you are Ron. That's like saying I would choose to fail a test rather than ace it, you know what I mean? Never ever think of us together. I never got a chance to tell you this, but I saw a hooded Death Eater in the woods near Hogsmeade and went after him, thinking it was a real Death Eater, but all I found was Malfoy all beaten up. So I helped him, and that's how we came to be in one spot. And as for that kiss, he caught me off guard…" Hermione hadn't thought much about that kiss and why he had kissed her. It made no sense whatsoever.

"You said that sorry doesn't cover it. It does if you truly mean it, and I know you mean it. Did you think if you apologized to me face to face, I wouldn't have forgiven you? When a person loves, they always forgive."

Ron met her eyes, "I thought you…didn't love me." he said timidly.

"Me? You were the one who told me that you didn't love me anymore-"

"I was angry then. Didn't know what I was saying."

"But it still hurt…"

"I thought you didn't love me. You never said it…well, only one, but I had to force it."

"I'm sorry…I thought we understood each other. I don't know about you, but I have always felt this…weird connection between us. It's like we were destined to be together. What were the chances of this: I, a Muggleborn, came to Hogwarts and ran into you on the train, then got sorted in Gryffindor when I should have been put in Ravenclaw. So, who am I to mess with destiny by not forgiving you?"

"I never thought of it that way." Ron took a firmer grip on her hands.

"I didn't either, until Miss Ginny pointed it out to me."

They stared at each other nonstop as if it was another staring contest. There was a hint of warmth in Ron's eyes now that made her want to keep their eyes locked forever. It was like one of those moments in romance movie but felt very real to Hermione. With hand in hand, they were one again.

After a couple of minutes of staring, Ron said, "So…tell me, why you straightened your hair?"

Hermione grinned, "I did it during the holidays to…occupy myself in a time of misery."

"A time of misery, huh…Well, all I know is that I want my old smart bushy-haired sometimes annoying but usually loving girl back. I want things the way they were before."

Hermione raised her eyes. Ron had totally caught her by surprise on that request, and it was such a sweet request that she wanted to be as close to him as possible.

"Hug me Ron." Hermione breathed.