Harry walked over to Voldemort and Stan, and looked at their dead bodies. Harry pulled a tube of lipstick out of a purse that just magicly appeared. Actually, he stole it from Hermione.
He put the fire truck red lipstick to his lips, and rubbed it on. He then puckered them. The result looked like Jason had just come with his chain saw and attempted to cut off Harry's face.
Lower. Lower. Lower Harry went. He was an inch away from Voldemort's face. He closed his eyes, and bent over more, until he was kissing the Dark Lord.
Boom!
Harry flew across the room. He heard Hermione yell at him while he was airborne "Did you think I wouldn't notice that you stole my underwear off my body? That's not cool Harry! Now I'll I have on is my athletic cup"
Harry looked at the cup.
"Hermione, that's not an athletic cup. That's my mom's soup bowl." Harry said, lying to her.
"No it's not!" Harry burst out laughing and started prancing around.
"Let's just get out of here. I don't want to get hurt any more. Even if this is the Ministry of Magic!" Hermione said, puting her thong back on.
They both walked into the phone booth and went up...
Back at the ranch (which in this case is the Burrow, Molly Weasley was watching Blind Date 3 when she heard a knock at the door.
Harry and Hermione had a plan. They would ring the door bell, and load the air around the door with drugs. Then, they would climb through a window, and steal all the food that they could. They would then get a portkey (which they were almost certain the Weasleys had) and would transport to the Dursley's to save Ron-I mean, Dean. After Hermione's blow back at the Ministry, she didn't remember that she could apparate.
Hermione through the crack into the air and ran away with Harry. Molly walked out, and after three seconds, had a seizure.
As the duo climbed the window, Molly woke up from the coma that she had gone into. Harry and Hermione ran through the house, and finally found the refridgerator. Hermione swung the door open. Harry looked inside with delight.
"Rat poison. Maybe it'll kill Ron. I never realy liked him. I was just in it for the-" Harry started to say, but then Molly's shadow appeared in the doorway.
Harry and Hermione hid. Hermione stuffed herself under a couch cusion. Harry put a lamp shade over his head.
Molly walked in and stared at the "lamp.
"I didn't know that we had a Harry Potter lamp. It looks so real..." She looked at the couch cusion, which was perfectly hiding Hermione. "HERMIONE GRANGER!" she yelled. Hermione jumped up, and drop kicked the red haired woman. Harry and Hermione jumped out of a window. Hermione landed on the grass. Harry landed on Bill.
"Harry, don't you think we should go on a date first?" Bill said.
Harry ran away from him. Hermione followed.
Three minutes after Molly had been knocked out, she woke up, and said "I was out for three minutes, and they stole my pants. Damn Paparazzi"
But of course, Harry stole them.
"Harry, we forgot the portkey!" Hermione yelled.
"Yeah, about that..." Harry said, pulling out a boot that was urinated on.
"Uhhh..." Hermione said, with a strange look on her face.
"I know, I'm sorry about the portkey." Harry said.
"Not that!" Hermione said, "WE FORGOT ALFRED!"