The Most Spectacular Wedding of All Time
9:00am – 3 hours left until the ceremony.
"Professor Dumbledore!" Hermione shouted from her position outside of Dumbledore's office. The gargoyles were devoted to not allowing Hermione entrance, no matter how much she wanted or needed to speak with the Headmaster. Obviously if there was a student at Hogwarts at nine o' clock in the morning the day after everyone went home, then it was probably important. "Professor Dumbledore! Please, I need to speak with you!"
The circular staircase began rotating, and sure enough Dumbledore soon appeared. "Miss Granger, what a surprise!" Dumbledore said, warmly. "Please, come in."
Hermione smiled gratefully as she followed Dumbledore into his office. His bureau looked the same as it always had, with the exception of new artifacts and trinkets littering every inch of every surface.
"You caught me at an excellent time; I was just getting ready to depart." Dumbledore said, smiling. "Professor McGonagall, Professor Flitwick, Professor Hagrid and I are vacationing in Bora Bora during the summer. Since Voldemort is no longer present, it is not necessary for us to remain here. Personally, I could do with a relaxing vacation."
Hermione resisted the urge to laugh at the sudden image of her professors sunbathing along a beach in Bora Bora, each with a smudge of suntan lotion on their noses and turning in unison every thirty minutes at the sound of a buzzer. "Er, Headmaster, I was wondering if I could speak with you about returning to Hogwarts next year to complete my seventh year."
Dumbledore looked solemn for a moment before his usual smile returned. "Yes, I saw the article in the Daily Prophet. I knew immediately that once again they had been erroneous."
Hermione nodded. "That was not my intention. I would never attempt to pilfer gold from anybody!"
"I know, Miss Granger, I know. How are you handing the loss of your corporation?"
Hermione laughed sadly. "I think the question is how am I handing the loss of Draco?"
"Yes, I saw that article too." Dumbledore said.
"If you and the rest of the professors are going on vacation, does that mean that you're not going to the wedding today?" Hermione asked.
"Actually, the wedding was going to be our pit stop." Dumbledore informed. "I cannot miss the wedding of two of my students, even if I do not agree with the circumstances."
"What do you mean?" Hermione asked, puzzled.
"I do not believe that Draco's heart truly consents to this wedding." Dumbledore explained, peering at Hermione over his half-moon spectacles. "But I am not the one whose opinion is important here."
Hermione remained quiet for a moment, knowing full well that Dumbledore was talking about her. After a moment, she whispered, "But there's nothing I can do, sir. Draco betrayed me and I've betrayed him. And now he's chosen Pansy Parkinson. Even if Draco did decide to not marry Pansy and come back to me, how could we base a relationship on betrayal?"
Dumbledore sighed. "For once, I am of no help. I think that this is something you must discuss with Draco."
"Yes, well Draco's getting married in three hours." Hermione said in a rather sarcastic tone. "So I don't think any heart-filled conversations are going to be happening any time soon. I'd better go. Good bye, Professor."
"Miss Granger?" Dumbledore called gently as Hermione turned to leave.
Sighing, she turned around to face her Headmaster. "Yes?"
"You always have a place at Hogwarts, and I look forward to seeing you on the 1st of September." Dumbledore informed, smiling.
Hermione beamed. "Thank you, sir. Have fun in Bora Bora."
……………………………….
10:00am – 2 hours left until the ceremony.
Dumbledore's trip to Bora Bora sounded wonderful to Hermione. Perhaps she'd go somewhere for a little while. Exploring Cuba or Canada sounded like such brilliant ideas; not only would she get to discover somewhere new and exotic, but she'd have a chance to get Draco off of her mind and hopefully move on with her life.
Suddenly, Pig, Ron's owl, flew into Hermione's bedroom window with a letter attached to his legs. Hermione rolled her eyes; if this was bad news, then she would just have to secure the shutters and bolt the doors of her house, refusing to come out until everything was perfect again. She freed Pig of the letter and opened it, grinning as she read.
Dear Hermione,
Harry and I haven't heard from you in awhile. Hope you're alright. We thought you should know that we're going to the wedding today. After all, they said all pureblood wizards are welcome. Harry's close enough. We're planning on causing some serious sabotage – spider in the punch bowl, house-elf in the cake, "accidentally" causing Pansy's dress to rip and reveal some very disturbing flesh – you know, the usual. We'll pop in on you when it's over and tell you how it went. Til then, lots of love,
Love, Ron and Harry
Hermione laughed, picturing Pansy's high shriek as her very expensive wedding dress shred to pieces. Too bad Hermione couldn't be the one to do it to her. At least Harry and Ron would have some fun, though. And Hermione? She'd start packing. Cuba sounded very welcoming, so that's what she would do. Luckily, it would not be too expensive, seeing as she was of age to Apparate; a quick stop at Gringotts and the Ministry of Magic would accommodate the rest of her needs.
Hermione sighed as she took a long look around her bedroom. She had worked so hard to get there, and now all of that work had vanished with the print of a newspaper. But now she was ready to live her life as an outcast. It was time to move on and away from Hogwarts, at least until the start of the semester.
Meanwhile, Harry and Ron had just arrived in Hogsmeade. It reminded them of the Quidditch World Cup when they had stepped into the Ireland supporters land and were welcomed by various shades of green everywhere. In Hogsmeade, though, they had decorated the place with only one dark shade of green. The moment they had stepped in, they were greeted by the green plush carpeting leading up to the altar, with at least five hundred chairs on each side. Each chair had a snake engraved on the back, and the altar was actually one gigantic wooden snake curving to make a large semi-oval. Voldemort's Death Eaters would have been very proud.
Harry and Ron exchanged a look.
"We're not going to be allowed in, Ron." Harry stated. "Everyone knows who I am, and everyone knows that I am not on good terms with-"
"Hello, welcome to the Malfoy-Parkinson wedding." An usher greeted, grinning goofily. He was young and lanky; he looked only a couple of years older than Harry and Ron. "We are collected a fee of five galleons from each guest that will go towards the bride and grooms beginning of their new life. Would you like to donate?"
Ron looked revolted at the thought of giving them money. For one, Ron disliked them immensely, and two, they were rich! They already owned all of the gold in the world, so why were they trying to swindle their guests?
Harry stepped on Ron's foot so that he would at least try to act like a guest.
"Ow!" Ron cried, glaring at Harry.
"Yes, of course we'd like to donate." Harry said, retrieving ten galleons from his wallet. "Here you are."
"Excellent!" The usher grinned, storing the gold in his pocket. "Right this way, please."
He led Harry and Ron to two vacant seats surprisingly close to the altar, stamped their hands with a snake, then left them to go and assist the rest of the guests who were pouring into Hogsmeade for the wedding.
"The reception seems to be in the Three Broomsticks, eh?" Harry noted as he watched the arriving guests head towards the Three Broomsticks.
"Shall we go … er, shake things up a little bit?" Ron suggested, mischievously.
"Definitely." Harry agreed, rising from his seat.
"Potter? Weasel?" A familiar voice cried from behind them.
Harry and Ron turned to see Draco standing behind them, thankfully without the company of his fiancée.
"Hello, Malfoy." Harry greeted, cheerfully. "Fancy seeing you here!"
"What in the name of the heavens are you two doing at my wedding?" Draco demanded.
"We figured we couldn't miss this." Ron piped up. "I mean, you were such close friends with our best friend. Hermione Granger, you remember her, right?"
Malfoy fell quiet, but continued to glare at the two of them.
"Oh, it's okay that we're here." Harry said, showing Malfoy his snake stamp. "We've been stamped."
"Don't ruin this day for me." Draco growled as he turned to leave.
"Eh! Malfoy!" Harry cried, causing Draco to turn around. Harry sighed, cursing himself for what he was about to say. "Hermione still loves you, you know."
Draco didn't say anything. He didn't glare at them, he didn't curse at them, he just remained silent before turning around once more and walking towards the Three Broomsticks.
"What the hell was that?" Ron demanded, hitting the back of Harry's head.
"Ow!" Harry exclaimed.
"That was payback for the foot thing." Ron explained. "Well? What was that?"
"I… I just thought he should know." Harry said, unsure of how to answer Ron's question.
"Well, he does now! Just shut up and let him and Pansy get married! They're perfect for each other." Ron said.
"Yeah." Harry agreed. "Let's go stir up some trouble."
……………………………….
11:00am – 1 hour left until the ceremony.
Pansy Parkinson had set up her bride's room in Dervish and Banges. In one corner of the store was her make-up area, and in another was her dressing area. Hanging on a rack in the dressing area was her dark green wedding dress, just waiting for Pansy to squeeze her abnormally large buttocks into it.
Pansy was sitting at her make-up table alone, staring at her reflection through a mirror. She grinned evilly, thinking about how beautiful she was and how much gold she was going to inherit through her marriage to Draco.
"Pansy?" A voice asked, sneaking up behind her.
She looked above her own reflection in the mirror to see Draco standing behind her, grinning rather oddly. Her face cracked into a grin as she stood up and wrapped her arms around his neck. "Drakey-poo! You shouldn't be in here! My wedding gown is in here!" She stood up immediately and grabbed Draco's upper arms, then spun him around so that his back was to her dress. Next, without warning, her pug-like face smashed into Draco's and began kissing him fervently, forgetting about the fact that technically, Draco shouldn't have been there. After a few moments, she pulled away and said roguishly, "What would you like, my wittle bitty baby-boo?"
"Uh, I just came to talk to you." Draco said with the biggest desire of spitting out Pansy's kiss. Instead of doing so, however, he created a chair with his wand and placed it beside Pansy's seat so that he was looking directly at her.
"Oh?" Pansy asked, batting her eyelashes. "What about?"
"About us." Draco replied. "Pansy, we're only getting married today because that is what our parents want."
Pansy looked shocked. "Don't you want it too?"
"Er… sure. But I just feel so young, you know? Maybe this isn't the best course of action that we can be taking at such a young age."
"I don't think we're young at all." Pansy countered. "In fact, I think we're of perfect age. This is our destiny, Drakey."
"But the last time that I saw you, you were furious with me!" Draco cried.
"Oh, I was just caught up in the heat of the moment. This is now, Drakey. We're meant to be. This wedding is perfect and it's going to be remembered for years to come, I guarantee it. Plus, we get to go to Mexico for our honeymoon!"
MexicoDraco thought. Suddenly, comprehension began to dawn on him. Pansy wasn't interested in marrying him! Sure, she was thrilled to become Mrs Draco Malfoy, and she probably worshipped the amount of jealousy that she would be getting from all of the other witches, but honestly! This was all about the gold and luxuries for her; there was absolutely no love involved. Lust, perhaps, but not love.
"I suppose I'll see you out there then, huh?" Draco said, jerking his thumb towards the altar.
"Oh, you will." Pansy purred, leaning over to lick Draco's ear. He shuddered, rather disgusted. This was supposed to be his wife. The women he was to spend the rest of his life with. All of a sudden, things seemed much, much more clear.
…………………………………..
11:55am – 5 minutes left until the ceremony.
While Draco and Pansy's wedding ceremony was about to begin, Hermione was far away at her home in Diagon Alley, where she had returned only minutes before. She had just been to Gringotts to pick up the remainder of her gold, and then to the Ministry of Magic to obtain a permit that allowed her permission to leave the country, but she had left her Witch ID back at the SPEW Headquarters and was required to return home and retrieve it if she had any hope of Apparating to Cuba that afternoon. The woman at the Ministry of Magic who had been serving her was very persistent in Hermione having her ID, and it had irritated Hermione greatly.
"Hello, may I help you?" The vivacious young brunette had asked Hermione. Her nametag read Joy. How ironic was that?
"Hello." Hermione smiled, pushing the sunglasses that were covering her eyes up her nose. She'd prefer not to be recognized as 'the girl who tried to steal everyone's gold'. "I'd like to get a permit allowing me to Apparate to Cuba."
"Cuba?" Joy cried, somewhat over-excitedly. "I've always wanted to go to Cuba! That's just so incredible! I'm sure you're going to have a swell time! Well, I'll just get right on that, then. May I please have your Witch ID?"
"My Witch ID?" Hermione repeated, suddenly answering her gut feeling that she had left something at home. "Er, I actually don't have that with me. I've left it at home. Would it be possible to get the permit without it?"
Joy frowned. She obviously took her job very seriously. "No, I'm sorry; you must have your Witch ID. We cannot just grant anyone permission to leave the country. What if you were Sirius Black or some other deranged criminal convict?"
"Sirius Black was not deranged! He was found innocent when Voldemort was defeated!" Hermione defended, suddenly growing angry. "And I'd appreciate it if you did not spit on his memory!"
Joy shrieked and looked as though she were about to pass out. "Don't speak his name!" She hissed, furiously. "And I'll believe what I want! Sirius Black murdered thirteen people; I don't care what the Daily Prophet says about him!"
"You didn't even know him!" Hermione cried. "So keep your fake nose out of things that you know absolutely nothing about! And by the looks of you, that's probably just about everything!"
Needless to say, Hermione had been booted from the Ministry of Magic and told that she could not return unless she had her Witch ID. So, she returned back home, throwing her wand down on the nearest table. She habitually checked the clock on the wall and her mouth dropped open; it felt as though a brick had plummeted to the bottom of her stomach as she realized that Draco was to be married in five minutes. She could not believe that he would actually go through with it. A small part of her had hoped that maybe, just maybe, he would back out of it. For all Hermione knew, he had. But she doubted it. Draco would not defy his mother, no matter how much he detested Pansy, and leaving Pansy alone at the altar was definitely defiant.
She had also pondered the idea of Apparating to Hogsmeade and putting a stop to the absurd wedding. However, she couldn't; not only would they not allow her entrance because of her muggle background, but she was terrified that Draco really was through with her; terrified that he would reject her before she even had a chance to say anything. So, she decided to remain where she was, as far away from Hogsmeade as possible.
Hermione began shivering, then decided that she'd wrap herself up with a warm blanket and take a quick nap before heading back to the Ministry of Magic. Hopefully by then, Joy would have changed shifts or something. She definitely did not need another confrontation with her.
At that exact same moment, the one thousand and five hundred witches and wizards who had shown up at Draco and Pansy's wedding in Hogsmeade had all been seated comfortable and were now waiting anxiously for the ceremony to begin.
Harry and Ron stood out vividly in the crowd, seeing as they were the only two who were not dressed formally or in dark colors. They did not let the glares bother them, though; they were both wizards, therefore they had the right to witness 'the most spectacular wedding of all time'.
Albus Dumbledore, Professor McGonagall, Professor Flitwick, and Hagrid were all lined up towards the back of the crowd. McGonagall, Flitwick and Hagrid were all chatting excitedly about their rapidly approaching vacation; Dumbledore, however, gazed avidly at the altar, a faraway look in his crystal blue eyes.
Narcissa Malfoy sat with Mrs Parkinson, both of the women already in tears, despite the fact that the wedding hadn't even begun yet. Narcissa, however, still had a malicious glint in her cold, dark eyes, which told everyone in the room who bothered to pay close attention that she had finally won the battle. The mudblood girl was out of the picture for good, and nothing could have made Narcissa happier for her son or for herself.
Cornelius Fudge stood only a few feet away from Dumbledore and the other Hogwarts professors, accompanied by the Daily Prophet crew. Obviously, he was expecting something extraordinary to happen, such as Hermione storming in and ruining the wedding. So, he had three photographers and Rita Skeeter with him, despite Rita's protests of returning to the journalism business. She had found a new love in flowers, and gardening had become her new hobby as opposed to writing. However, Fudge had offered to pay her generously, so she had no complaints as she pulled out her lying, deceiving quill from her familiar crocodile skin handbag and began to write furiously before anything had even begun.
Suddenly, the band, The Weird Sisters, began playing a sorrowfully happy tune. Pansy's younger sister suddenly emerged from Zonko's Joke Shop, dressed in a less fancy but closely identical version of Pansy's gown. She flung black roses onto the plush carpet, looking much more miserable than she should have considering it was her sisters wedding. Perhaps it was just a Parkinson thing.
Draco, who was already at the altar, rolled his eyes as he watched Pansy's sister make her way down the aisle. Crabbe, who had agreed to be Draco's best man, chuckled in his deep, stupid voice as he watched Draco.
"This is going to be incredibly long, isn't it?" Draco asked in a loud whisper as though he did not care whether he was overheard or not. He let out a huge yawn as Pansy's sister finally finished her route. Soon afterwards, Pansy's bridesmaids, all Slytherins, filed out from Zonko's, each wearing hideously revolting frilly pink dresses that looked completely out of place in the dark green setting.
Draco pulled out a hacky sack from his tuxedo pocket and began kicking it around with his foot, completely ignoring the horrified looks that he was receiving from all of the guests in the audience.
Finally, Pansy, accompanied by her father, emerged from Zonko's. The dark green wedding dress made her look like a cucumber, and her hair pulled back into a tight bun caused her face to look even more distorted than usual.
Draco snorted loudly at the sight of Pansy, which caused Crabbe and Goyle to both let out long, stupid laughs. Pansy's eyes widened in embarrassment, but she decided to ignore Draco's boorish performance and take it as a sign of his nervousness. She continued down the aisle; once she reached the altar, her father kissed her by bumping his large chin against her plump cheek before he took a seat next to Mrs Parkinson.
Draco could not keep a straight face as he looked at Pansy, so he settled for not looking directly at her. If he did, he would burst out laughing at how incredibly stupid she looked. Who had chosen the dress, anyway? Her mother?
The minister, also one of the most highly respected wizards in all of Great Britain, began the ceremony. His speech was boring and monotonous, and Draco did not bother to contain his yawning. Pansy attempted to look unbothered, but Harry and Ron could tell that she was trying to not cry. They almost felt sorry for her. Almost.Draco's behavior was purely disrespectful.
The minister droned on and on, but Draco finally snapped out of his tired daze as he heard the minister say, "Do you, Pansy Parkinson, take this man, Draco Malfoy, to be your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do you part?"
Pansy sniffed, still upset from Draco's rude behavior, but suddenly lit up as she realized that this was her moment. "I do!" She cried, grabbing Draco's hand and squeezing it tightly. Draco looked revolted, without even bothering to hide it, but he did not pull away.
The minister turned to Draco, and Harry and Ron both saw the dirty look that the minister had shot at him. Obviously he did not like someone, especially the groom, being so coarse during his service. However, he continued the service by asking the same question to Draco. "Do you, Draco Malfoy, take this woman, Pansy Parkinson, to be your lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do you part?"
Draco snorted once more, and many of the guests believed his snort to be provoked by the 'until death do you part' saying. Everyone glared at him with disgust. Still, Draco grinned at Pansy, taking her hand in his and turning her so that they were both facing all of their guests, hand-in-hand. "I do!" Draco exclaimed, falsely excited.
The minister smiled, despite Draco's unorthodox behavior. "Well then, by the power vested in me, and as witnessed by friends and family, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may seal your vows with a kiss."
Draco, who at that moment looked as though he had been waiting for that moment all evening, threw his hand around Pansy's waist and pulled her towards him, then dipped her and planted a wet, inappropriate, passionate kiss on her pudgy lips.
Once they separated, Pansy grinned, looking ecstatic. "We're married, Draco!" She cried. However, her excited grin did not stay plastered on her face for long; soon enough, her exhilaration began to transform into horrification, along with the rest of the audience. This was due to the fact that Draco's skin began forming moving lumps; as a matter of fact, he seemed to be getting taller. A bit chubbier, too. Pansy shrieked over and over again before she finally passed out underneath the snake-shaped altar, too unconscious to see what had become of her new husband.