Moping Melancholy Mad Chapter 11: Crazy Like a Fox, an inuyasha fanfic

It is I, Jjah-Jjah! Can you believe it?

I haven't updated for sooo long. I'm sorry! College is hell. I mean that. None of you people go to college. Become goat-herders or something constructive like that.

At least now it's summer. I have three months of utter freedom, in which I get to get my drivers license and get my wisdom teeth removed. Isn't it lovely that I'm in college and don't have a drivers license? I just look at it by thinking about all the people I've saved from being run over. And I'm thinking about maybe writing a chapter when I get my wisdom teeth removed. Under the influence of mind-numbing pain and heavy duty painkillers, maybe I'll write something extraordinary. Who knows? Ok then. Review and disclaimer….

RosieB: Thank you for reviewing! I think Sesshouamru will start out repaying his debt by keeping her around, because she wants to stay. After that… Who knows?

Thing that goes bump: Oh me, oh my… Thank you so much! I wish words did flow from my fingertips. Then I would be able to get these chapters posted faster… Ah well… Thank you again:D

DemonWicca: Wow. You sound more tired than I am. Thanks for the review!

urbanangel: I'm actually not that smart considering I finally dropped Chemistry because I was flunking it. Heh. Yep. There are really only ten cranes left in the wild. Another realm? Other than the realm of fan fiction, no. I've tried to set this thing in actual modern Japan. If you want to get from Tokyo to Kamakura, you really can take the JR Yokosuka line. So if I'm going to make the locations authentic, might as well make the populations of animals authentic, too. Anyway, thanks for the review, tata!

drow goddess: Thanks for the review! I guess it was kind of sweet, wasn't it? Blerg. At least it came across that way; I'm not very good at writing this thing they call 'romance'. Well, I'm trying…

Elmo kinns: OMG! You're the first person to get the reference! YOU ROCK!

Striking Falcon: Thank you! And it's not over! I never said it was over! Gah! Thank you so much for you compliments, they made my day. Well, night… Whatever.

Mizukithepanda: AHHHH! Not the bunnies! Hiss! But thank you for the review, I'm flattered. Well, I guess it's just going to be long. Not crazy-long. I hate crazy-long stories. Sesshoumaru still has to get his fluffy thing back, Kagome has to befriend the evil weasels, and there has to be a showdown at Mt Fuji, just like in the Godzilla movies… Plus there's the whole developing romance thing. And Shippo is back, be happy!

DarkAngelB: Thanks a lot! Hope you did well with your karate stuff. Sorry about not updating for so long. School is evil. 'Night.

Walis: Yay! You rock. No one has ever complimented my opening before! Thank you for reviewing.

hyper person: I think that cranes kind of screech. Like a rusty hinge or something… I dunno…

LtSonya: Wow. Thank you. I think I'm gonna cry.

CultKagome and Sesshomaru: I gave Kagome an outlet for her powers in something other than an arrow in this chapter just for you. Enjoy! Awesome pen name by the way.

busoshwe: How long is a 'coon's age? I dunno. That's just my hickishness shining through. Thanks for the review!

Harper Grey: Huzzah for wackiness! Thank you for the review! Yay!

Great Materia Hunter Yuffie: Yay! I have good taste! Awesome. I think you're the first person to review me cross genres. You rock!

Nova Alexandria, Silvanon of the Orchard, Eternal Wanderer, GoldenRat, Taiyo, Sakura Tenyaiga, sandalwoods, chibi-kag, Sukera, Mystic Hanyou, Maggie, evilduckie, Zackire, Just call me Blue, Soso, Inuyasha'smistress, atashi-wa-Yume, Joshua Glass, Fluffy-Luver978, Sora the Taske, lil, Resmiranda, Kyoufan17, Fire Phoenix, MercilessAngel, Golden-Eyed-Girl, evil-green-faery, ChIbI rIn, Youka-chan, The Honest Reader, exclipein, Sintar, confused dolphin, Kaichai, Artemis of the Ice, Black-hole-dOWn, sheenachi, Blue Dove, Culebra, kawaiipnay, Psychic Realms, SexySayainSakura, Shayaineth, renyun, Noacat, Morally Bankrupt, Rosebark, rageangel126, Trouble In Shangri-La, Jessi Tsuki, Me, Lilliana, cyclonegal112: Thank you all so much for your reviews! I love ya all!

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Disclaimer: If I owned Inuyasha, several bishonen characters would be living in a cave under my bed… Alas and alack… Moving on.

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Chapter 11: Crazy Like a Fox

Kirara's wildcat cry echoed over the treetops sending birds scattering from their perches.

Kagome yawned and stretched every joint popping. Sleeping on rock was not very restful. She blinked sleepily and leaned forward so that her face was buried in the firecat's mane. Sleeping was a good and nice activity and she was going to perform it right now…

"Mreow!" Kirara scolded. Kagome jolted back to consciousness and glared at the feline she was riding. Yes, falling asleep while you're flying fifty or so feet in the air probably wasn't the smartest of ideas, but she was tired damnit! The miko groaned aloud and scanned the ground below for Sesshoumaru. He was not there; she hadn't really expected him to be.

As it was, they were heading towards the nearest city, Shimoda, noted in history as being the port where Commodore Perry's "black ships" had landed, ending Japan's era of isolation. She had never heard anything else about the city and she had never been there. Sesshoumaru had gone on ahead to scout. He had explained that Wakarazuya was well aware of the range to which his rival could fly and would send out his servants looking for them accordingly. It was only a matter of time before they were found.

But at the moment, Kagome didn't give a damn. She needed a bath, and if she had to tear apart the whole of Shimoda with a pair of tweezers, by golly, she was going to take one. She had expected Sesshoumaru to protest; she had expected him to act like his brother, but she had been somewhat pleasantly surprised. (Pleasantly, because he agreed to her request, somewhat, because afterwards he made an obtuse remark about her smelling bad.) It was just as if the night before had never happened; minus the radical personality change, of course. She didn't really care; she would start to get irritated until after she was clean, not before.

The little city appeared on the horizon soon enough, and before they got too close Kirara landed and transformed back into her kitten form, setting the miko afoot. Slowly, they walked into the midst of the buildings and down the quaint little streets. It was actually a rather nice little place. Apparently, the entire deal with the black ships was the place's main tourist attraction, because there were models of black ships or "kurofune" everywhere. Kagome stopped and looked at one of the larger ones, wondering briefly what her friends in the feudal era would have thought of such a thing. As she stared at the polished black masts Kirara let out a soft warning mew and the miko looked about and realized that everyone was watching her. She stiffened and rubbed the back of her head, laughing embarrassedly and then slunk off. Of course she was going to call attention! After all, she had been chasing a discombobulated youkai lord, fighting a hoard of evil worm monsters, flying all over the place, and sleeping on a rocky beach. She was not at her best to say the least.

They began to pass a certain building when the miko stopped abruptly. Her cleanliness sense was tingling. She looked, and lo and behold beside her looked to be some sort of health club. Where there were health clubs, there was exercising and where there was exercising there were sweaty people and where there were sweaty people there were showers. Kagome laughed evilly and crept towards the entrance, but stopped short when a sharp featured man stationed just inside the door shot her a poisonous glare. Apparently it was members only.

Like that was going to stop her.

A few moments later Kagome scrambled frantically into the building and darted down a hallway after Kirara set a potted plant by the door aflame as a distraction. Both miko and firecat tiptoed further into the building dodging patrons as they went. It was a few moments after Kagome began humming the mission impossible theme song that she found the object of her desire.

"Muahahaha…" She chuckled quietly. They had found a locker room with showers. There were no witnesses in the area, so she once again utilized Kirara by using her to melt a lock off one of the lockers, scoring some shampoo and conditioner. After seizing a fluffy white towel, Kagome swept into the showers cackling all the way. Soon steam began to fill the room and Kirara settled down on a pile of towels for a quick rest.

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"Ahhh! I feel wonderful!" Kagome grinned.

Kirara gave a little purr of agreement from the miko's sheltering arms. It had actually turned into a rather nice day. There was not a cloud in the sky. The calls of the gulls from the nearby seashore were punctuated at intervals by the chirrups of songbirds. The little city was bustling; it was summer after all, and tourism was at its peak.

Kagome absently brushed a wrinkle out of her light gray tank top as she peered in a store window. Since her miko robes were dirty, she had changed into some regular street clothes until she could get her robe washed. It was fairly simple, the tank top, an old pair of blue-jean capris, and a pair of practical hiking sandals. At least she had the distinction of not standing out in a crowd, which would make things easier.

She sighed and looked around. Well, she might as well take in the sights while she wandered around. No doubt Sesshoumaru would randomly appear at some point of his own choosing to collect her, so she didn't worry about the time. For the moment she and Kirara were free to do whatever in the heck they wanted.

It was at that moment that both their stomachs growled.

"Is that barbecue I smell?" Kagome asked her furry counterpart.

"Mew!" said Kirara, nodding enthusiastically. They both scurried around for a little while, following their noses, till they found a quaint little grill cart parked on the side of the road that was selling delicious looking skewers of spicy barbecued chicken. Needless to say, they both pigged out.

It was around the time that they were finishing that Kagome felt something strange. It was a feeling comparable to having a loose eyelash, dangling, just about ready to fall in your eye. She shrugged it off as simply being a muscle twitch from sleeping on rocks all night, and walked off towards Perry Street.

Perry Street was apparently one of the city's major attractions if the advertisements she had seen were any indication. There were supposed to be cafes and boutiques and other stores and junk. Who knew? Maybe there was a Laundromat. Kagome began to walk around the bow end of a particularly impressive kurofune model, black lacquered and shining in the sun, when the weird feeling returned with a vengeance. It washed over her in a malevolent wave, and over the firecat as well; Kirara suddenly went rigid, fluffed up, and hissed, digging her little claws into Kagome's arm and leaving bloody welts. It was the unmistakable feeling of being watched…

The miko stopped where she stood and looked through the constantly moving crowd flowing around as if looking for a flaw in a mirror. Then her eyes met those of the figure standing as still as she. Dead eyes. Those eyes had no soul behind them. Even Kikyo's eyes had a glimmer, perhaps captured from all those souls she consumed. These eyes had never been alive… Then she looked at the face, and her heart skipped a beat, carried off by a little trill of fear. The face was that of the neko youkai Wakarazuya, but it was not him… This figure's features, everything about him was paler. It was like watercolors spread out too thin over white paper. There were also the facts that he was dressed in normal, if a bit traditional, clothes and his hair was cut short. This was not the Eastern lord, but it belonged to him.

For a moment an acknowledgement of one another passed between them; the acknowledgement between predator and prey…

Then Kagome hauled ass.

"Shit!"

Great. Just great. Here she was, being chased by an unknown thing-a-ma-bob, through a city she was completely unfamiliar with, she couldn't whip out her trusty bow and arrows in plain sight, neither could Kirara transform, and Sesshoumaru was MIA. Whoop de frikken doo, it was most certainly a beautiful day…

She felt kind of bad about pushing so many people rudely aside, they probably though she was nuts. 'Maybe.' She thought, 'Just maybe, I might be able to lose him the crowd…'

Yeah right… When did that ever happen? You never lose the evil monster in the crowd. It's against the rules! So, of course, as soon as she began to feel the tiniest bit safe, the same figure seemed to melt out of the crowd in front of her. Her breath seized in throat and she abruptly changed direction.

And there was another one.

She whipped her head back and forth. There were indeed two of them, completely identical. What the hell was going on? They were smiling at her as if she were dessert. Eeep. She looked back in the direction she had been running from. It was further away than the others, and her view was obstructed by the crowd, but the first figure she had seen was still visible. She could see three of them; who knew how many more of them were out there, watching her? The strange feeling she had been having tripled in intensity under the awareness. She felt like prickly little blades of grass were moving through her bloodstream. It was an unpleasant sensation to say the least.

She turned toward what had her only open avenue of escape, only to find that yet another Wakarazuya copy was there, smiling at her. Why didn't anyone notice them? They were four completely identical unnaturally pale people that seemed to float when the moved and somehow avoided being jostled by all the people passing them! You'd think that that might raise an eyebrow or two, but no one seemed to notice how strange they were. There wasn't any sort of spell; she would have easily sensed a barrier or something like that. She now understood how it might be possible for a youkai to survive in the modern world. No one noticed anything. Youkai, in the modern psyche, simply did not exist. Nothing, not even a youkai dancing the can-can in front of you, could change that fact. What people didn't understand, they simply didn't see.

Boxed in as they were, Kagome wondered how in the hell they were going get away, but then her prayers were answered when a delivery truck rumbled by only a few inches away from her. The miko grabbed onto the back of the vehicle and watched as her pursuers faded away. For the moment. She wasn't stupid enough as to think that they would quit chasing her so easily. Too soon, the truck rumbled to a halt in front of an office building. Before the driver could even open the door to his cab, she had jumped off the back, and had sprinted through the building's doors.

A few people looked at her strangely, and the lady at the front desk asked her what her business was, but Kagome simple muttered something about having to go to the bathroom and headed towards the stairs. Stairs were, after all, her natural habitat. She had a distinct advantage. Too bad the stairwell had windows.

Just as she was midway up the staircase, a window at the base shattered inward and three of the Wakarazuya clones glided in and began ascending towards her.

"Damn it!" She shrieked. Kirara had moved to her shoulder, and looked ready to attack. Desperate for a weapon of any kind to bolster her courage, Kagome ripped a fire extinguisher off the wall.

"Stop right there!" She growled. They hesitated, perhaps not understanding why their prey wasn't running. "Before you do anything else, you've got to ask yourself, 'Do I feel lucky?'" She unhooked the hose of the fire extinguisher and pointed it at them.

The three of them looked at each other, perhaps in incredulity, perhaps in silent conversation, and then they all lunged forward faster than a blink. Fueled by reflex alone, Kagome pulled out the start pin and fired her weapon. What happen right after that, she never quite understood. It may have had something to do with the raw panic, or the adrenaline, but she suddenly felt her fingertips burn, and the white chemical spray turned phosphorescent blue.

She watched as the one that had come closest to her as its eyes widened, and then as it was engulfed and dissolved. The other two veered off at the last second, one retreating out the window, and the other leaping up and sticking to the ceiling. That didn't last for long, as Kirara leaped up and transformed briefly, which seemed to be enough to scare it off.

As the firecat returned to her smaller self and sniffed at the remains of the thing the miko had destroyed. Kagome stared at the empty stairwell in disbelief.

"Did I just purify a fire extinguisher?" She asked the neko. Kirara mewed absently in reply. "Hot damn…" Kagome plopped down onto a step and blinked confusedly. She watched as Kirara nosed around in the ashes left behind, picked something up in her mouth and bounded over.

"What have you got there?" She murmured, holding out her hand so that she could receive the object. It was paper. Merely scraps of rather familiar looking paper.

"Shikigami…" The miko breathed. She remembered well the shikigami of the kuro-miko, Tsubaki. Sesshoumaru had mentioned that Wakarazuya was an onmyouji, hadn't he? Onmyoujin were notorious for using shikigami to do their bidding. At least now she knew what she was up against… There was a tapping at the wall, signaling the end of her reverie. Kirara jumped up onto her shoulder and they made for the building's roof.

After the door swung open, Kagome poked her head out, and looked left, right, up, and down. No shikigami were in sight. Of course, that probably meant that they had all congregated right out of her line of sight waiting for her make a move, so that they could swoop down and suck out her blood or something evil like that. But she couldn't just hole up where she was, now could she? So, after a moment to bolster her courage, she sprinted out of the doorway and to the edge of the roof, not daring to stop and look around too closely.

Lucky thing for her the buildings were so close together. She leapt across to the roof of the next building and immediately shimmied down the fire escape. Once she reached the end, she jumped the few to the ground. The sudden landing sent a shock of pain through her knees, but she still started running as soon as her feet hit the pavement. She was actually quite surprised when she emerged onto Perry Street.

It was actually kind of pretty, too bad that she had to see it under such crappy circumstances. The road was divided in two by a canal running down the middle. Willow trees and tourists were everywhere, along with a plethora of cute little boutiques and cafes. Damn. Why did there have to be so many people? They could get hurt! Even as she though it, she stumbled and fell as something slammed into her from the side. She skidded for a bit, and scowled up at the shikigami looking down at her. She looked to see if there were any places close that she could run to so that she could see the weirdoes coming. The closest thing was a little green restaurant, with the name 'Masshuru-mu' scrawled across the front in elegant calligraphy. It would do.

Kagome jumped up and ran into the building as fast as she could. She had hoped that the shikigami wouldn't follow her directly into such a public place, but the rattling of the door made that voice made that hope die. Perhaps it was because since the destruction of one of their number, they had realized that their prey, despite being human, had a bite. They couldn't take any chances with her anymore.

She didn't want to take the chance of getting too many patrons killed, so just as the front door snapped open, she made a bee-line for the kitchen. All the white clad chefs turned and looked at her, some seemly peeved. She took no notice of them, her attention elsewhere. There was a door at the far side of the kitchen. Perhaps it led outside. She sprinted towards it, unaware of the body that stepped innocently into her path.

Kagome let out a surprised sound at the collision, and almost fell until lithe arms surrounded her.

"Hello miss, are you alright? This area is employees only."

She looked up into kind, green eyes framed by wisps of reddish hair poking out from underneath a chef's hat. The young man was dressed slightly different from all the others; where all the other employees were completely in white, his pants were patterned. Maybe he was some macho supreme chef or something. He smelled like sugar. Kagome swallowed on reflex, had she seen those eyes somewhere before? Her musing was interrupted as Kirara suddenly went wild, and jumped over to his shoulder, mewing and purring mightily. His eyes, which had only been polite before, widened considerably. As the kitchen door suddenly exploded with splintering force, she couldn't hear what he said, but she made it out as his mouth moved around the word.

"Kirara?"

The miko couldn't wait any longer. She ripped herself out of the stranger's grasp and headed for the door, four shikigami right behind her. As she emerged onto a back alley right next to a dumpster, she shrieked.

"Oh crap, I'm so screwed!"

She was right. Almost immediately she felt a cold hand grab onto her shoulder, digging into the skin, and hauling her upwards with such speed that her stomach gave a painful lurch. The rushing air bit at her, till she found herself tossed onto roof of the closest building. She skidded for several feet and hit the ledge with a clearly audible thud. 'Damn.' She thought. "I'm definitely going to feel that tomorrow… If there is a tomorrow…' She looked around and nearly stopped breathing at what she saw.

Shikigami were everywhere. They stood on the roof, they floated in the air, they sat on random objects, and all smiling at her. She had read somewhere that onmyoujin were only able to control a maximum of twelve shikigami at one time. Apparently that figure had only applied to human onmyoujin. Kirara yowled and bared her suddenly saber teeth in a burst of angry flame.

The shikigami weren't stupid. That much was apparent immediately. They knew that paper and fire did not mix, and thus stayed well without of striking distance. Kirara could have taken to the air, and chased them down, but she didn't. She kept her mistress, the miko, behind her, using herself as a barrier. Any of them who tried a frontal assault would not live to regret it. Unfortunately, the shikigami had other plans.

One of them, in a fluid lightning-fast movement, lashed his arm out like a whip. The thin appendage extended as if it was made of rubber, and hit the firecat hard on her unprotected flank. Kirara roared in pain and stumbled back into her smaller form. It was one hell of a paper cut, blood was everywhere. Immediately, Kagome shrugged off the backpack and tried to get her bow and arrows out, but just as she opened it another shikigami whipped it out of her grasp.

Now, there was no defense, no arrows, and no random fire extinguishers. The washed-out figures moved closer, sweeping down for the kill. At least until several of them were sliced cleanly in half…

Kagome looked up and glared. "Where the hell have you been!"

Sesshoumaru looked at her dispassionately. "While we're asking questions, might I ask what it was you did to bring them all down upon you so?"

"I didn't do anything! Wait a second, look!" She pointed at the fluttering halves of the shikigami, as they began to glow. Each separate half slowly morphed into a whole creature, leaving twice as many as there had been before.

The youkai lord swore softly and Kagome took a moment to pick up Kirara, whose eyes were closed in pain. "Now what?" She whispered.

"Now, they cease to be." Sesshoumaru intoned smoothly. He flexed a claw as it began to glow green. Once he had determined that there was enough poison, he swung his arm in a graceful arc, sending venomous green mist flying. The shikigami that were hit crumbled almost instantaneously, but many of them kept floating father back, causing the inu to summon vaster amounts of toxin to reach them.

When the burning first started in Kagome's eyes, she tried to ignore it, but then it spread to her throat, and her heartbeat doubled in intensity. She fell to her knees and coughed, loudly. Sesshoumaru glanced at her and she saw his eyes widen. He immediately withdrew his poison. As the air cleared, the miko realized what had happened. She hadn't been dropped on this particular rooftop on accident, it had been planned.

They currently had their back to a stone awning of some kind, which shielded that section of the roof from the weather and the wind was blowing towards them. Wakarazuya's minions had chosen this spot, because they knew that the only way Sesshoumaru could kill them was to use his poison to consume them completely. However, he couldn't use his poison while Kagome stood upwind, and it blew back towards her. It was a fine trap indeed.

Still coughing softly, she moved a little bit closer to Sesshoumaru. "I don't suppose you can run over and get my backpack really quick…" She queried.

"They are as fast as I am…" answered the lord, his eyes narrowing ever so slightly as the shikigami began to come closer. She felt his muscles stiffen, even though she could not see it. Sesshoumaru was coiled like a spring. She saw his right hand flex instinctively. Was he wishing he had Tokijin, now? She certainly wished he did. She also wished that she had a cigarette lighter and some hairspray… Too bad the Taiyoukai couldn't breathe fire; that would have killed the hell out of all of them… She swallowed, trying to dissipate the burning lump, just as one shikigami raised its arm to strike.

"You know, fifty against two aren't really horribly fair odds…"

The shikigami stopped and looked at the owner of the new voice. Kagome's eyes widened. There, standing on the edge of the roof behind the paper monsters was the chef she had bumped into earlier. His chef's hat was gone, leaving wisps of scrappy red blowing in the wind, and he was toying with something green in his hands. He smiled a nostalgic smile, which suddenly changed into a frown as he looked at the shikigami.

"You guys ruined my kitchen… All my pastries, cakes, tortes… All sorts of wonderful sugary goodness that'll never see the light of day…" He stopped, sighed, stepped down off the ledge and smiled once again, a smile that was distinctly inhuman. "But you know, I could forgive you that, if not for one little thing."

He held out the green thing, a leaf. Sesshoumaru looked at him in blatant mistrust, while the miko stared with dawning recognition.

"You hurt Kagome…"

He placed the leaf on his forehead and there was a cloud of light. When the smoke cleared, an entirely different figure stood there.

The same green eyes, but slightly more slanted. Pointed ears poked out of long, silky-looking hair done up in a tail. He had fangs, was tall, though not so much as Sesshoumaru, and wore a green and blue kimono that looked as if it dated from about a century after the feudal era. A lusciously bushy cream-colored tail twitched slightly, perhaps from excitement. Yet perhaps the strangest things of all were several glowing blue-green orbs surrounding him. There were about fifteen in all, burning merrily. Kagome realized what they were at once.

They were hitodama, a species of youkai also known as Willo-the-wisps. They were known to dwell in graveyards, and other such places. They were also known to follow and help people of great spiritual power and were often used by kitsune, like the one standing before them. As soon as she realized what the orbs were, she knew who the kitsune was.

"Shippo!"

"None other!" The grinning kitsune bowed, and smiled directly at her. "And now," he leapt in the air, "Kitsune Bi!"

Half of the miko, upon hearing those familiar words, expected to see the familiar brilliant, yet ultimately harmless fires of Shippo's youth. Nothing prepared her for the roaring explosion of blue flame. The shikigami didn't stand a chance. They were consumed and reduced to ashes in only a few moments. Then, as suddenly as the fire came, it was gone, leaving not a scorch mark or a fleck of ash.

Shippo landed a few feet from them, and Kagome ran out before Sesshoumaru could protest. She dodged the hitodama hesitantly and leapt into the arms of her adopted son.

"Shippo, Shippo, Shippo! My sweet little devious angel! I missed you! I'm sorry! I'm so sorry…" She broke off into tears.

The five hundred and nine year old kitsune held the raven-haired weeping human in his arms.

"I know, Kagome. It's alright. I know…"

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Alrighty then. I hope you guys like the way I did Shippo. What always gets me is whenever you see future portrayals of Shippo, he's always such a wuss. Yet from what we see of him as a child, we see he's brave, and smart, and he wants to become a warrior so he can help his friends. Ah well. Till the next chapter then.

Tata, JJ.