Title : At The Toss Of A Coin
Author : Jaggie 107
Disclaimer : JAG characters belong to DPB, CBS and Paramount. I hope all parties will allow me to have fun for a little while, and replace them all when I'm done. Thank you.
Rating : M (Just in case!)
Spoilers : None specific, but starts from the end of series ten.
Saint Vincent Hospital – Blacksburg - Virginia
Harm and Mac walked off the elevator on the ITU floor and the nurse on duty did a double take as she recognised the couple. As they approached the desk, the nurse smiled.
"You two look like you stepped off a magazine cover. What's going on?"
"Hi, Megan," Harm smiled, and then gave Mac a look of surprise as the nurse acknowledged her too.
"Hi, Colonel, Commander. So, how come you two are all dressed up this late at night?"
"We've…er…been with friends. We just wanted to spend a little time with Mattie. How's she been?" Harm chose not to correct the nurse on the error of his title, and Mac kept her silence too.
"Mattie's making good progress. She was awake when I came on shift, but she may be sleeping now. Want me to check?"
"No," Harm shook his head, moving away from the desk with Mac, reaching to take her hand in his, linking their fingers. "We'll just pop our heads round the door." The nurse nodded her head, and sighed as Harm walked away, Mac at his side.
At the entrance to Mattie's room, Harm paused and turned to look at Mac. As their eyes met, Mac smiled softly at him and rose up on her toes to touch her lips to his.
"It's going to be all right, Harm," she murmured as she withdrew, stepping back to look from his face to the young woman laid in the bed. "See, we even have Mattie's approval!" Mac added, and grinned as Harm looked over to see Mattie giving them a 'thumbs up'.
"Hi, you…two…" Mattie managed, her voice getting stronger as she overcame having the tube in her throat for so long.
Harm and Mac came into the room and across to the bed, each giving Mattie a hug and a kiss, before Mac sat on the edge of the bed, and Harm stood behind her, his hands on her shoulders. Mattie looked at them both together, and a big smile broke on her face.
"You're getting married!" she squeaked, and Harm nodded, not even questioning how Mattie knew. Mac leaned down and hugged Mattie once more, and then sat up again, leaning back into Harm's body. "So, what happens now?" asked Mattie.
"Well, we came to a decision earlier tonight, and we'll be going to San Diego." Harm's voice didn't waver, and Mac glanced up to see him smiling as he looked at Mattie. Harm didn't see her bite her lip slightly before she turned her gaze back to Mattie. Harm may have missed the look on her face, but the teenager hadn't. Mattie's brow creased slightly as she took in the anxious look on Mac's face, and the beaming smile on Harm's. For someone who would be getting to keep their career, Mac looked decidedly unhappy!
"That's great," Mattie responded to Harm's comment, and if her response was a little less enthusiastic than expected, Harm didn't notice. Mac, however, did. She and Mattie shared a knowing look, and then Harm sensed Mattie was a little down.
"Mats? It's going to be okay. I'll be staying in DC until you're ready to be transferred for therapy, then we can both travel down to La Jolla, and meet up with Mac there. By then we'll have sorted out a place to live, somewhere for your rehab, and Mac will be settled into her new posting."
"I guess it's just settling in that things are changing," Mattie admitted, and while that was true, she was also worried about the look she had seen on Mac's face.
"Harm's right, Mattie. It's going to be just fine," Mac leaned forward to kiss Mattie's cheek, and she whispered something to Mattie that Harm couldn't hear. When she sat up once more, Mattie yawned, and Mac turned to look at Harm. "Time for us to go, sailor. I think Mattie needs her sleep." As Harm nodded and moved around Mac to hug and kiss Mattie once more, Mac got to her feet. When Harm stepped back, his arm immediately went around Mac's shoulders and drew her close to him. Since he had admitted his love for her earlier in the evening he had been very tactile around her, touching her constantly, not wanting to be too far from her at any time. That wasn't exactly one-sided – Mac was as tactile as he, touching Harm in return – but her need for his touch was more than just a declaration of love, it was a balm for a soul tortured by the past.
With Mattie settled in sleep again, Harm walked Mac back to the elevators and down to the parking lot. As he opened the Corvette's passenger door for her, he leaned in to drop a soft kiss on her lips.
"I didn't say anything up there, Mac, but I know there's something on your mind. Please tell me what's going on, so we can work it out."
"You know?" Mac looked shocked, and then amused, and Harm waited for an explanation of her reactions.
"You won the coin toss, Mac. We're going to be heading for San Diego. If you have any worries, you need to tell me about them. I can't help you otherwise…" Harm reasoned, and Mac touched his lips with her hand.
"Harm, I know I won the coin toss, but there's something I want more than a billet in California…" and Mac's eyes teared up as she looked at Harm, her heart in her eyes. With a soft groan he leaned forward and kissed her once more. The kiss lasted a little longer, and if it wasn't for the fact they were stood outside in the parking lot of a hospital it would have gone much further. Mac pulled away slightly, but didn't release her hold on Harm's waist. "I want to see where my four percent chance will take us, Harm. If we are blessed with conceiving a child, then I want to be free to enjoy my pregnancy, and my marriage, and you…"
"What are you saying, Mac?" Harm knew, but he needed Mac to actually say the words. With a smile and a soft laugh, she did.
"I'm saying that I want you to contact the General in the morning and take the posting in London. I'm going to give my notice, and just enjoy being Mrs Sarah Rabb, wife of the esteemed Captain Harmon Rabb, Force Judge Advocate, Naval Forces, Europe. You know, I've always wanted to really get to know London. I mean, we've passed through the airport enough times, maybe this time we get to step outside, huh?" Harm laughed in response to Mac's humor.
"How about a honeymoon in Paris, then on to London to see what being the Force Judge Advocate entails, and to find out about care and schooling for Mattie?"
"Honeymoon?" Mac could only parrot Harm as the implication settled in.
"That means we have to get married as soon as we can, here in DC. So, will you…" Harm began and Mac threw her arms around his neck as she squealed. "…please marry me?"
"Yes! Yesyesyes…" Mac murmured, dropping kisses on Harm's face as she spoke. For a moment she became serious. "How long do we have to wait?" she asked. Harm shook his head.
"I'm not sure, but I do know someone who would officiate."
"Who?" asked Mac, curious, and then her eyes brightened as she realized who Harm was talking of. "Chaplain Turner!"
"Who better?" asked Harm, smiling down at Mac. His smile faded as he took in her flushed cheeks, and dilating pupils. Thoughts of London, weddings, and even Mattie went out of his mind as he had only one image in his mind.
He wanted this woman - his woman – again.
"Mac, how about staying in town tonight? We can drive back in the morning."
"Fine by me," Mac agreed immediately, and gave Harm an incandescent smile. Harm saw Mac seated comfortably and then he went around to the driver's side.
Ramada Hotel – Blacksburg - Virginia
The drive to the Ramada was accomplished in as short a time as possible, without breaking any regulations, and as Harm went to check them in he asked for a suite. Mac's expression when she entered the suite ahead of him was worth every dime.
"Harm…it's…wonderful," she murmured, turning to look at him as he dropped the key card into the dish on the table at the door. Without a word, Harm came toward her, and Mac felt a shiver run through her at the intensity in his gaze.
"Cold?" he asked, and smiled when Mac shook her head.
"Nervous," she admitted huskily, and Harm gave her a puzzled glance. Mac smiled, despite the butterflies dancing in her stomach. "Harm, I know we aren't…I mean, this isn't our first time…together, but I…think it's just sinking in that you and I are – finally – together!"
"For eternity," Harm nodded, moving to take Mac in his arms. As she put her hands up against his chest, her head resting in the crook of his neck and shoulder, Harm ran his hands up and down her back, his movements gentle and reassuring.
"It's really happening, isn't it?" Mac murmured against his skin, and Harm nodded.
"Yeah, it's really happening, Sarah."
"Can I ask you something?"
"Always," Harm's response was immediate, and Mac smiled against his skin as she pressed her lips to his throat.
"Will you make love to me? It's hours since you and I were in your apartment," Mac's voice was muffled, but Harm heard the words.
"Can I ask you something else?" asked Mac softly, long after they had sated their need for each other – at least for now. Harm's laughter rumbled in his chest as he responded. Mac leaned up on his chest and looked at him, her expression serious, and Harm gave her a sincere look.
"Go ahead," he prompted, and Mac smiled, knowing that her request would be met without reservation.
"Will you ask Jen tomorrow if she would like to go to London with us? If you've already selected…" Mac faltered, and Harm touched her lips with his fingers.
"Of course I'll ask. I already had Jen on my list, but she declined in favor of you. If she's still interested, I would love having her as my Yeoman, and I'm sure it won't hurt her career either, even if it's her second choice."
"Harm, you're not her second choice. I overheard Jen talking to the General today…yesterday…, and she mentioned that she had put your name down first, but felt that she wasn't ready for being in such a high-profile posting. I guess my billet was a little less daunting."
Harm shook his head in wonder at the young woman who had become so dear to both of them.
"Second to you, Mattie and Jen both are the most capable people I know. It will be good to have us all together. I have to admit, with the possibility of losing you, and then almost losing Mattie to the accident, if I'd had to let go of Jennifer too it would have been a very lonely posting. I would have done it, because it's duty, and throughout everything that has been the one constant…" Harm paused and recalled, very briefly, Paraguay and the stint with the CIA, then continued "…in my life."
"Shush, Harm…you haven't lost anything. Not me, not Mattie, nor Jen. Even with the change in status and location…" at this point Mac paused too, and Harm grinned as he recalled the words they had spoken in Sydney harbour.
"Location doesn't change anything…" he murmured, and Mac nodded, smiling at him.
"This time it does," she murmured, leaning in to give Harm a soft kiss. "This time, we get to live our lives as we want, and not as the military dictates."
"It wasn't just the military rules, Mac…" Harm began, and then shook his head at his own words. "It was me. I'm the one who wouldn't let go of ghosts."
"Perhaps we had to go through everything we have to get to this point," Mac admitted, and then she grinned slyly. "I'm giving you fair warning now, sailor, that you're not getting away with comments like that ever again!"
"Promise?" asked Harm, almost hesitant, and Mac nodded.
"Eternally," Mac assured him, and then realized that while she had been talking to Harm she had, unconsciously, been running her hand across his shoulders, toying with the hairs on his chest, touching a finger lightly to his male nipples, amazed at the reaction his body gave to her ministrations. This discovery diverted her attention, until Harm gave a strangled gasp and Mac looked up at him.
"Hi," he murmured, giving her a slow, sexy grin. "You seemed to go off our conversation a little, and it's…um…come to my attention…" Harm stopped talking as Mac giggled.
"That's not the only thing that's come to attention," she murmured huskily as she moved down the bed slightly, and Harm's words turned to moans of pleasure at Mac's movements.
"Maaaac…oh, you're so bad," Harm's words only served to make Mac more adventurous, and Harm gave up the power of speech altogether, closing his eyes and dropping his head back on the pillows.
Six months later – Rabb Residence - Outside London, England
"Dad…have you seen Mac's PDA? She left it on the kitchen table and now she can't find it!" Mattie's voice could be heard practically throughout the house, and Harm grinned as he looked up from his desk and glanced across at the article in question, sitting on top of Mac's briefcase on her side of their back-to-back desk arrangement in the study. For some reason his ever-efficient wife was becoming forgetful lately…
"In the study," he called back, getting to his feet and walking out of the room and into the hallway just as Mattie jumped down the last two steps of the staircase. "Hey!" he cautioned, knowing that although Mattie was more or less fully recovered from her accident, and back on her own two feet without the aid of crutches, she should still be taking it easy. Jumping down stairs was not what he termed 'taking it easy'!
"I know…but I feel great, Dad, honest!" Mattie's enthusiasm was in full force, and her eyes shone with good health and happiness.
Harm reached to pull his daughter into a hug, and then he looked up the staircase behind Mattie. "Where is Mac, anyway?"
"Erm…not sure. Bathroom, I think…" Mattie glanced up the stairs too. "I just heard her muttering that she was looking for something, and that the last time she'd used it had been in the kitchen. As it was to do with matching dates, I figured she was looking for her PDA."
"Good guess, kiddo. Well, like I said, her PDA is on her desk in the study. I'll just pop up and see what's got her so muddled…" Harm began as he released Mattie to move around her and go up the stairs. Mattie nodded her head and walked toward the kitchen. Harm's voice followed her, and she grinned at the words. "No snacking. We're going out to lunch soon."
"Yes, Dad!" Mattie retorted, and Harm grinned in response as he headed up the staircase onto the first landing and walked into the room he shared with Mac.
"Honey? Are you in here?"
"Harm? Bathroom…I'll be a minute…don't come in!"
"Are you okay? Mac, what's going on?" Harm put his hand on the door handle to the ensuite bathroom, but Mac got there first and turned the key.
"I'll be a minute…please…"
"Okay," Harm relented, and sat on the edge of the bed to wait. He didn't have to wait long. The door to the bathroom opened almost as soon as he sat down, and Mac stepped out. There didn't seem to be anything out of place that he could tell, except for the nervous tugging of her bottom lip by her neat teeth. "Mac? Sweetheart?"
"I'm…I've been a little forgetful, lately…and my clock has gone haywire…I know it's been driving you nuts. It has me, too…but I think I've found the culprit…" Mac murmured, and Harm got to his feet, moving across the carpet to stand in front of her.
"Oh?" he answered softly, suddenly aware that despite Mac's apparent nervousness her eyes were shining with suppressed excitement.
"We…um…need to do something about the loft…"
"The loft? I thought that was going to be Mattie's place now that she's mobile again. Has that plan changed?"
"No…it's still the plan, but we need to up the schedule."
"Up the…why?" Harm knew that they had agreed to make the loft habitable for Mattie to have her own privacy – along the lines of Harm's DC apartment, but the plans were still in the drawing stage – adapting the smaller area to exclude an actual kitchen, as there was already a fully fitted kitchen downstairs in the main house. It had taken them six months to settle into Harm's new job as Force Judge Advocate, married life with a teenager, and a beautiful house they had found on the spur of the moment when they had taken a wrong turning on a day out in the country. Now Mac wanted to hurry up the plans…
"Because we're going to need Mattie's room on this landing for a nursery, and her space downstairs for a playroom…Harm?" Mac stopped talking, aware that Harm had become very still.
"You…we…nursery?" Harm managed to utter before taking Mac into his arms and turning her around in a slow circle. When he stopped and set her on her feet again she was grinning, and waving a white stick under his nose.
"You…we…nursery," she mimicked, and laughed. "Congratulations, Daddy," she added.
"Pregnant…" Harm murmured, tears shimmering in his eyes as he looked at Mac. "We haven't even started with the doctors yet…are you okay?"
"I'm absolutely fine, Harm, and I guess we've started something…baby Rabb!"
"I love you, Sarah. Oh, wow, wait till Mattie hears about this…"
"Hears about what?" Mattie asked behind him as she knocked on the open bedroom door. Standing in the doorway she saw Mac in Harm's embrace, and the tears that had run down his cheeks. There were tears on Mac's cheeks too, and as Mattie looked at the pair of them her face clouded for a moment.
"Dad…Mac?"
"It's okay, Mattie…we're pregnant!"
"This is so cool!" Mattie's face lit up again, and her pleasure in their news was evident. Coming toward them she was included in their embrace too. "When? How?" Mattie began, and then put her hand over her mouth as she reddened slightly. "I mean…I know how…but how, with the problems…?" Harm and Mac had told Mattie about Mac's endometriosis, and the possibility that Mac might never get pregnant. They also told her that they were going to give fertility treatment a try, and if it didn't take, they would consider adoption. Mattie's reaction to their news had been all out support, and they were reminded again how special their daughter really was.
Harm gave both his 'girls' a hug again, and then checked his watch.
"Well, we have even more reason to celebrate today, and as it's nearly lunch I suggest we get a move on! Up and at 'em, ladies!"
"I just need to make one phone call. I want to check with the doctor about the test, and getting it confirmed. I'll be down in five."
"Okay…" Harm acknowledged, and walked Mattie out of the bedroom. "C'mon, kiddo. Let's go start up the car."
"Can I drive?"
"Not yet…" Harm could be heard answering, and Mac smiled as Mattie groaned good-naturedly.
Later that evening…
With Mattie asleep in her room Harm and Mac were laid together on the couch in the den. Despite being in England, they had still worked their rooms to suit their American style, and the den had been the first room to be furnished to their liking after the bedrooms. With the entertainment center located in an existing wall unit, and the large fireplace and hearth to sit beside and toast marshmallows (something Harm gave into once in a while), the room had fast become their favorite and it was decided that their first Christmas as a family would see the tree set up in the den rather than in the large, open hallway, as first planned. As the room had already been 'christened' during the initial unpacking phase of the house, when Mattie had still been in a London hospital doing therapy, and Harm and Mac had decided to have a mock fight over the situating of the new couch, they already knew how comfortable the couch could be!
"What're you thinking?" Harm asked softly, stroking the fingers of one hand up Mac's arm as he tightened the other around her waist.
"That I still can't believe we have all this, and more to come!" Mac lifted her head from Harm's chest and looked up at him, really looking deep into him, and he didn't disappoint her as he returned her look. "It scares me sometimes, you know?" Harm nodded, before answering.
"I know. It scares me too, but I also think that we have all this because we've worked for it, Mac. It hasn't come without a price, which we've all paid in one form or another, even Mattie…but now we get to enjoy it. Especially now, with the baby."
"Mmmn," Mac murmured, and then smiled at Harm.
"What?" he said, seeing the sultry look in Mac's eyes, and in the smile on her lips.
"I've just figured out when we conceived…" she murmured, making a circle on Harm's chest with one finger.
"Oh?" Harm grinned. They made love frequently, and although each time was special, he would be hard pushed to say which occasion had created their child. Mac, however, was convinced she knew.
"The day we had the fight over the couch…"
"Really? But that was at least three months ago…" Harm tailed off, wondering how Mac hadn't noticed anything before now. Mac nodded in response.
"I know. I thought it was quite a while myself, but when we were on the couch, afterwards, I felt something…it's hard to explain, and I didn't really think much of it at the time…but I just felt so peaceful, as though I knew everything was going to be all right in our world. And it is…"
Harm kissed the top of Mac's head in acknowledgement, finding it hard to speak round the lump in his throat at her words. When he managed to clear his throat his voice was huskier than usual, and Mac looked at him in surprise.
"Harm?"
"It's okay…I just…it seems so…so peaceful, to use your words," Harm tried to explain, and Mac laid her fingers on his lips as he continued talking. "It's so right, Mac. We haven't done anything about the IVF treatment yet because we said we'd wait until we were settled…"
"I guess the decision was taken out of our hands, sailor…" Mac murmured, and then pushed up to press her lips gently to Harm's. "We're going to have a wonderful time being pregnant, you and I, and Mattie. Do you think I'll get really big?" Mac pondered the idea, and Harm gave her a knowing smile. "What?"
"Nothing. I was just remembering something…a dream I had, a few years ago. Remember when it was AJ's fourth birthday?"
Mac nodded, recalling that she had spooked Harm by her innocent remark about a gift she had bought for their godson's 'fifth' birthday, when it was in fact only the child's fourth birthday. At the time she had been aware that Harm had been acting strangely around her, and had laughed and called him 'funny' when she'd eventually realized what had spooked him. He hadn't, however, mentioned anything about a dream.
"What dream?"
"That you were pregnant…" Harm answered immediately, and with such a smile on his face that Mac melted in response.
"You dreamed about me being pregnant?"
"It wasn't just you…the first time…" Harm began, and realized just what he'd admitted as Mac picked up on his words.
"The first time? Harm, just how many times did you imagine me pregnant?"
"Quite a few, actually. The first time I had just come into the bullpen, and I saw Singer, Harriet, and Renee," Harm paused at that, feeling it wasn't necessary to add that Renee was pregnant with twins and said that he'd make a 'wonderful father'! "After that, there was the time I held the door open coming out of a building after a meeting, and then when we were talking by your car. When you got out and walked toward the JAG building, you were pregnant."
"Oh," was all Mac could manage. While she had often wondered what it would be like to conceive, carry and give birth to Harm's child, she had never actually imagined herself visibly pregnant. That Harm had, however, gave her a new insight into her often-complex husband. There were no secrets between them now, but there were things that had happened – to both of them – when they had been out of touch with each other, that had either been shelved as being unimportant, or forgotten altogether, when they became a couple officially. Harm watched the many thoughts in her head show in her expressive eyes, and waited for her to speak again, giving her the time to put her thoughts into words. When she did speak, it wasn't what he expected to hear. "Was I really big?"
"Huge," came his answer, but he was smiling, knowing she was expecting such a comment even though she did hit him with one of the couch pillows.
"Harm!" she protested, but then gave him a soft warm smile when she heard his next words.
"You were beautiful then, even in my dreams, and you're beautiful now, in reality. Sarah, there aren't enough words to tell you how happy I am for you, as a mother, how proud I am of you as my wife, and how much more I love you each time I look at you."
Mac's smile broke as tears splashed down her cheeks, but she managed a watery grin.
"I think I've sprung a leak!" she mumbled, and Harm laughed before pulling her up against him and kissing her softly.
"I'm sure you'll spring many more before we're through, but I'll be here for every one of them."
Tears and laughter were replaced with soft murmurs, and later silence as the two of them eventually slept on the couch. When they woke late the next morning they found a note on the table in front of them.
- Gone to walk the dog. Back later. Love you both. Thank you for my baby sister and/or brother. Mattie -
"Do you think she's trying to tell us something?" asked Mac as she read the note, smiling at the 'and/or' that Mattie had written. "Do you have any history of twins?"
Harm shook his head. Then the other part of Mattie's note came to mind.
"We don't have a dog."
"Maybe that's a big hint, Daddy…" Mac answered, smiling, and reached up to kiss Harm. "Good morning."
"Good morning. Sleep well?"
"Absolutely," Mac responded, and then smiled down at Harm. "We have to get up from here, flyboy. Want to come wash my back?"
"Now that's an offer I can't refuse!" Harm waited while Mac got to her feet and then he followed her up, stooping to pick up their scattered clothes.
By the time Mattie got back to the house – having walked into the nearby village – both Harm and Mac were in the kitchen, showered and dressed. With Mac seated while Harm made something to eat, the radio was playing quietly in the background, and Mattie stopped to look at the couple before announcing her return.
Life in the Rabb household was always fun, never dull, and often full of surprises. Mattie also knew that it was full of respect, honesty, and love.
Especially love.
Epilog
Nine months later… Rabb Residence, Outside London
Family and friends gathered on the lawn at the back of the house in the fall sunshine. As acquaintances were renewed, and good wishes passed, the hosts drew the attention of their guests to the spot on the terrace where they stood. Harm looked at Mac and Mattie on either side of him before speaking.
"Thank you all for coming today, to share this special time with us, and to be here to say 'hello' to our family." At that point, Harm shifted the baby girl in his arms so that she could be seen by all the people around her. Beside him, Mac also lifted up the baby boy in her arms, and gave Harm a wide smile, with the look in her eyes telling him so much more…
Mattie recognized the look that passed between her parents and diverted attention from them for a moment by her own announcement as she lifted the bundle in her arms too. Bearing a large red ribbon for the occasion, the Golden Retriever puppy wriggled enough so that Mattie set her down on the stone flagged terrace.
"Say hello to Honey, everyone!" Mattie laughed, recalling for the group how Harm had decided to name the dog in relation to Mattie's own usually exuberant greeting of 'Hi, honey, I'm home!'.
'At least now we'll know which 'Honey' you're talking to!' Harm had explained, and both Mac and Mattie had laughed then as the rest did now.
As Harm and Mac drew their attention back to the present and the laughter, Harm gave Mattie a wink in thanks for her timely intervention as he and Mac shared yet another unspoken but intimate moment or two. Mac was the one to speak on behalf of herself and Harm.
"Please join us in a toast to Cate and David Rabb."
"To Cate and David…" echoed the voices, and the two babies remained unperturbed in the arms of their parents despite the unusual noises. As Harm, Mac and Mattie stood together in the little group that made up Harmon Rabb's family, the others around them acknowledged that the occasion was indeed a special one…
The End