Back 2 Back

by Mr. Semaj

Luanne writes in her diary of a bizarre weekend she had with her aunt Peggy.

3. Chapter 3

King of The Hill

A Peggy & Luanne Episode: "Back 2 Back"

Act III

Part I: Peggy Apologizes

(Peggy and Luanne are lying on the couch ignoring each other. The cold air still gives Luanne the chills as Peggy hogs up the pillow and blanket.)

(Peggy is frowning to herself. Then, she starts thinking, and slowly, she began to feel regretful.)

Peggy: "Luanne? Honey, are you wake?"

Luanne: (shivering) "Yes."

Peggy: "Luanne, I have been thinking about this weekend. We both got ourselves in a situation that has affected us tremendously. Now, I am not the one to hold a grude, so I just wanted to say that...I forgive you. (Luanne stops shivering)

I know you did not mean to bond us together like this. I made a promise to your uncle that we would not get into any trouble this weekend, and we both broke that promise. But I am willing to make a fresh start first thing tomorrow."

Luanne: (diary) "It was then that I knew she was just saying sorry in her own way..."

(to Peggy, regretfully): "I'm sorry, Aunt Peggy."

Peggy: "I am sure you are. Now let's get some shut eye, and start behaving like the civilized Platter women we are, huh?"

Luanne: "Yes, but first, could you gimme some of your blanket? My toes are freezing." (scrunches toes)

"Aunt Peggy?" (Peggy snoring)

(Luanne sighs dejectedly)

Part II: Peggy and Luanne Wake Up

(The next morning, a Sunday, Peggy puts her shoes and glasses on. Luanne ties her hair bow together.)

Peggy: "Well, it is the last leg of the weekend, and we are still pasted like the wasted.

(silence)

I'm making waffles. Do you want some?"

Luanne: "Yes, please."

Part III: Connie's Glue Solution

(Later that day, Connie comes over to the Hills' residence)

(doorbell rings; Peggy answers)

Connie: "Hi, Mrs. Hill. Hey, Luanne."

Peggy & Luanne: (wearily) "Hi, Connie."

Connie: "I think I found the solution to your problem." (shows a can of adhesive dissolvent)

Peggy: (surprised) "My God! We have been looking everywhere for that! Where did you get it!"

Connie: "I had some left over from last year's science project on the solar system, which I won. I was borrowing some bouncy balls to represent the sun and planets."

(the group heads over to the living room)

Connie: (reading instructions) "Okay, make sure the adhesive is stored at room temperature."

(asks Peggy) "Is it, Mrs. Hill?"

Peggy: (eagerly) "Yes, go on."

Connie: (instructions) "Spray directly onto adhesive. Make sure that the model stays perfectly still".

(asks) "You guys ready?"

Peggy: "Yes! Let 'er rip!"

(Connie sprays dissolvent directly over Peggy and Luanne's backs. Nothing happens.)

Luanne: "Now what?"

Connie: (instructions) "The glue will completely dissolve within two hours."

(asks) "You guys wanna watch some TV?"

Peggy & Luanne: "Okay, sure."

(Nearly two hours later, Connie is sitting on the couch, Peggy and Luanne are standing next to the couch, all watching Monsenior Martinez

(Connie looks at the living room clock)

Connie: "Well, it should be at least two hours, Mrs. Hill."

Peggy: "Well, since the time is almost near, I'll go fix us some lunch." (walks off to kitchen; Connie continues watching TV)

(Peggy pours some water into a glass; has sandwiches and drinks all prepared on a food tray)

(Peggy walks back to the living room. The glue officially begins to wear off.)

Peggy: "Okay, I got the sandwiches..."

(Glue breaks; Luanne screams while she falls off of Peggy's back and thuds onto the ground)

Connie: (gasps) "Hey, it worked! You guys are finally free!"

Luanne: (ached) "Thank God..."

Peggy: "And just in time for me to get ready for my Boggle game with the girls. YES!" (jumps happily, bone cracks)

"Ow!" (limps away with ached back)

(Luanne, having been suspend for 48 hours, has trouble getting up. She gets up , and spreads her arms and legs slowly)

Connie: "So Luanne, now that you're free, you wanna hang out?"

Luanne: (fatigued) "Sure thing, Connie. I just need to finish doing some stretches." (walks towards her room, then stumbles on the rug, falling near Connie's feet)

Connie: "We can just stay here, if that's better for you."

Luanne: "No problem." (sheepish grin)

Part IV: Boggle Game (I)

(doorbell rings, Peggy answers)

Minh:"Hey, Peggy Hillbilly!"

Peggy: "Stop calling me that!"

Nancy: "We're ready for your Boggle game, Sug..."

Minh: "...And we be more than honored if your rear viewer could join us." (both women giggle sinisterly)

"C'mon Peggy, show us your new appendage."

Peggy: "Well, ladies..." (turns around) "...take a good look!"

(Minh and Nancy stop giggling)

Peggy: "Uh-huh, that's right. You will find that my new appendage was removed a tad earlier than expected."

(Minh and Nancy shifts their eyes toward each other smugly)

Peggy: (with enthusiasm) "So who's up for a game of Boggle!"

(the group assembles at the kitchen table)

Peggy: "Okay, girls. Get ready to play Boggle...Peggy Hill style." (Minh and Nancy roll their eyes in disgust)

(Peggy rattles letter box)

Peggy: (slams box on the table) "Ho yeah!"

(women write down their words under the timing of the hourglass)

Peggy: "Okay, girls. Add 'em up!"

Minh: "Seventeen words."

Nancy: "Twelve, Sugs."

Peggy: (resignedly) "Oh dear...I only have --" (triumphantly) "Twenty-four words!"

(chuckles arrogantly, Minh and Nancy gasp) "I told you ninnies to put on your best game!"

(rolling 'R') "ROUND TWO!"

(Peggy rattles letter box with a smirk; Minh and Nancy groan)

Part V: Hair Talk

(Luanne and Connie spend time together in Luanne's room)

(Luanne combing Connie's hair; Connie reading a magazine)

Connie: "So, if you don't mind my asking, what was it like attatched to your aunt these past two days?"

Luanne: "It was awful. We did all these boring things, I ate a lot of food I didn't like, I kept getting suqeezed into cold, tight spaces, and everybody around town was staring at me like I was some kind of freak."

(finishes combing Connie's hair) "And, and..."

Connie: "And what?"

Luanne: "And...Aunt Peggy got me suspended from my job!" (releases Connie's hair)

Connie: "Gee, Luanne. That's terrible."

(Luanne sprays Connie's hair)

(Connie looks in the mirror at herself)

Connie: "Wow, that looks perfect. Thanks a lot!"

Luanne: (quavering) "You're welcome." (starts crying)

Connie: (puts hand on her shoulder) "Aw, don't cry, Luanne. It's not your fault. You're the best hairstylist in Arlen. It'll all go away before you know it."

Luanne: (supressing cry) "You mean it?"

Connie: "Absolutely."

Luanne: (sniffling) "Thanks."

Connie: (wipes tear from her eye) "Don't mention it."

(fixes Luanne's hair bow) "That's what friends are for."

(both cuddle; Luanne sighs contently)

Part VI: Boggle Game (II)

(Peggy rattling letter box, then slams it on the table)

(women write down their words under the timing of the hourglass)

Peggy: "Okay, count 'em up!"

Minh: (bored) "Thirteen."

Nancy: (yawns) "Eight, Sugs."

Peggy: "Well what do you know?" (shouts) "I GOT FOURTY-NINE WORDS!"

(Peggy laughing hysterically, as Minh and Nancy stare at each other with fatigue)

Nancy: "Sug, maybe we better call it a day."

Minh: "Yeah, at this rate, you find every word in the dictionary. You already pick up few Laotian terms these past thirty rounds."

Peggy: (wags finger) "Uh-uh-uh. You girls cannot back out on me now."

(starts rattling letter box) "We have not even gotten to the lightning round yet."

Nancy: (slams hands on table) "Sug, just DROP IT! You win! WE QUIT!"

Minh: "I go home before you boggle our brains silly!" (Minh accompanies Nancy to the door)

(under her breath) "Stupid redneck."

Peggy: "Fine! I do not need you losers! I can have plenty of fun playing Boggle by myself!" (women slams door shut)

(Peggy sits at table for a few seconds tapping pencil, humming to herself. Clock ticking)

(to herself) "Well, THIS is fun!" (pauses)

(gets up out of chair) "I'm just going to finish my dinosaur models now."

(walks off to the living room)

Part VII: Video Game

(Connie and Luanne playing the Columns video game in Bobby's room)

(Connie plays more diligently, Luanne gets confused)

(Connie's final columns disappear, as Luanne's pile up; the game ends)

(Connie types her initals into the high score rankings)

Luanne: "Gosh, Connie. I thought you hated video games."

Connie: "Nah. Columns is an old-time favorite. I happen to like games that exercise the mind. Besides, just between the two of us, I could whoop Bobby's ass at this game any day in a week."

(Connie and Luanne share a giggle)

Minh: (calling from her house) "Connie! Time to come home!"

Connie: "Well, Luanne. I had fun. I'll see you later."

(both give each other a big hug)

(flashback ends)

Part VIII: Luanne Goes to Bed

Luanne: (from diary) After that, I finally helped Aunt Peggy finish her dinosaur model. She took all the credit as usual.

On the first weekend of summer, it was the weirdest weekend in my whole life. I should be returning to Mr. Jack later this week.

As for Connie, she's a lifesaver...and a true friend.

(closes diary)

(Luanne turns off light and goes to bed. She snuggles with her favorite teddy bear)

Part IX: Hank and Peggy's Intimate Moment

(Hank and Peggy in bed. Hank takes his sock off)

Hank: "...And then after the bear had Dale cornered, Joseph crept up and tackled the hell out of it. That son-of-a-bitch was gone faster than a propane discount." (chuckles, takes off glasses) "I never thought I'd see a bear fight in person, let-alone that thrilling."

"So, how was your weekend?"

Peggy: (takes off glasses) "Well, Luanne and I had a GREAT time. In fact, if you did not know any better, which I am sure you do not, you could say we were 'joined at the hip'."

Hank: "What's that supposed to mean?"

Peggy: "Nothing, honey. You wouldn't understand; it's a girl thing."

Hank: "But you remembered to keep your promise didn't you?"

Peggy: (wraps arms around Hank) "Hank, just shut up and kiss me."

(Hank and Peggy kissing each other warmly)

(both sink under the covers)

Peggy: "Ho yeah!"

(end of Act III)

The End

Tagline

Minh: "Hey, Peggy Hillbilly!"

Peggy: "Stop calling me that!"