JAMES, THE RETARDED MONKEY: Hi, I'm James, and I'll be doing the disclamer today, seeing as how Raidersrule76 is so BUSY

(RR76 is stabbing Terra)

JAMES: HEY! RR76! OVER HERE DUMBASS!

RR76: I don't like my creations talking back to me! (stabs James)

RR76: Anyway, this will be my update. For the rest of the week, I will not be able to do jack $hit, so there. Time for review responses.

fourthelement: Crow is a guy. Or as much as a guy as a robot could be. Glad you liked it, I'm looking forward to the next chapter of When Fans Attack.

XxKajix0xMizuxX: Your stories are NOT sucky! Why do you think they're on my favorite storie list?! Oh, and yes, I am quite proud of killing Terra.

Digital-DNA: Thank you. Your review made me think about pie. Why? I don't know.

RR76: Please do the disclamer Trespasser.

TRESPASSER: RR76 does not own anything in this story.

CARSON: Except me!

(RR76 punches Carson)

Now read the damn story!

"Are we there yet?" "If you ask me that one more time, so help me, I'll blast your green ass to China!" This exchange was commen during the 12 hour trip to El Paso. It stopped about halfway into the trip, and when Cyborg looked back at Raven and Beast Boy, he saw the two of them making out. Cyborg groaned. "Aww, c'mon guys, you're gonna get... uh... bodily fluids all over my leather seats! Can't you save it for the vacation?"

"This IS the vacation Cyborg," Raven said, breaking off for 5 seconds before resuming making out. Cyborg sighed and concentrated on the road, and not on the... er... lovers in the back seat. It paid off when he saw a sign on the side of the road. He squinted to read it.

"Valley... loogie? Is that what it- oh, valley LODGE..." Cyborg said to himself. It was hard to read- the D was squished between the O and G, making it seem like another O. He turned in the direction the sign pointed in and kept driving. Unfortunately, the sign directed them to a desert with nothing but a bunch of shrubs, a couple making out on the side of the road, and a crappy jazz band.

MEANWHILE...

In Titan's tower, things were far from perfect. Crow hadn't come out of his room in hours, and the other Titans (well, okay, just Robin and Star) were growing worried.

"Crow hasn't come out of his room in hours (see?)" Robin said worridly. "Maybe we should check on him, or something."

"I ain't complaining," Carson said, still reading How to make people suffer. "As long as he's quiet, I'm happy. You ask me, it's alot more peaceful without him around."

"And that's why nobody ever asks you," said RR76 from the kitchen. Carson gave him a dirty look, but kept reading anyway.

"Should we not check on friend Crow?" Starfire asked. Before anyone could answer, she was already going down the hall to his room, Robin right behind her. Carson sighed, and after a moment, followed after the two.

IN EL PASO...

Another 6 hours of driving aimlessly were almost wasted, until Cyborg spotted a shack in the distance. By now Raven and Beast Boy had stopped making out.

"That's weird," Cybrog muttered. "That shack wasn't here a second ago."

"Let's stop here for the night," said Beast Boy. "It's getting dark, and I am NOT sleeping in this car."

"You tryin' to say something about my baby, you little grass stain?!" Cyborg snapped angrily.

"Both of you calm down, let's just stop here and ask for directions to the nearest hotel." Raven said calmly, soothing the two Titans into submission.

"You're so smart," Beast Boy said adoringly. "That's why I love you." Raven smiled and they started making out again, but the car stopped in front of the house, and the three stepped out of the car to see the strangest thing they had ever seen. And they'd been to Tamaran, Canada, and a Charger home game.

A man stood in the doorway. He had a tan coat, a wide brimmed hat, and a beard. He leaned on a cane with a hand at the top. He kept twitching and jerking, as if he was having a seizure.

"Well... he seems nice." Raven said tentatively. Nobody spoke for a moment.

After an eternity, the man spoke. "I am Torgo," he said in a loud, yet shaky, voice. "I take care of the place while the Master is away." Torgo looked at the Titans, and said, "But the child! I'm not sure the Master would approve! Or the worm. The Master doesn't like worms."

Silkie fell out of the T-Car and started flopping towards Beast Boy. Cyborg was horrified. "You brought that... that... WORM?! He could've gotten slime all over my interior!" He started to run to the T-Car but Raven grabbed him in her trademark black magic and held him in place.

"Uh... Torgo, was it?" Beast Boy asked. "Um... we were wondering, where would the Valley Lodge be?"

"There is no place like that around here." Torgo said in his strange, quivery voice.

"Then could you tell us how to get out of this place?" Raven asked.

Torgo was silent for a moment, but spoke up. "There is no way out of here. It'll be dark soon. There is no way out of here."

More silence, then Cyborg tried filling in the blank. "It'll be dark soon...?"

"Why don't we spend the night here?" Beast Boy suggested. Raven glared at him.

"I don't think this would be a nice place to stay the night." said Raven in a this-place-sucks-ass tone.

"And, the Mas,ter wouldn't approve!" Torgo said hurredly.

"It's only one night; I'm sure the Master won't mind. How about it Torgo?" Beast Boy pressed.

"I... don't know about it. I just don't know." Torgo said, pondering. After another eternity, he decided. "Very well. The Ma,ster will be most disturbed."Raven folded her arms and gave Beast Boy a "you're going to regret this" look before the two of them went inside. Torgo and Cyborg stayed outside. "I will get the luggage". He started walking to the T-Car, his massive knees making him wobble awkwardly. Cyborg beat him there, and waited an extra five minutes for Torgo to catch up. Torgo picked up a bag. "You cannot stay. The Master would not, approve."

Then he started walking to the house again, like a wounded turkey. Cyborg looked at Torgo and wondered if Beast Boy made the right choice staying here.

RR76: And that's all for now. Now review! Oh, and if anyone wants to hear Torgo's theme, leave your email adress and I will send it to you.

TRESPASSER: But he didn't write it, nor does he own Torgo or his theme song!

RR76: What he said!