Chronicle V - Cat Fight! (Part 2)

Tifa braced herself and closed her eyes.

"Damn! How am I gonna get outta this one?"

Aeris was laughing evilly as the Ultima spell drew closer to Tifa.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! DIE!"

Tifa couldn't think of anything to evade the spell, it was already so close. She could only do one thing.

"EKKKKKKKKKKKKK! MOMMY! I'M GONNA FUCKING DIE GOD DAMMIT!"

Suddenly, the emerald light split in half and faded into the air as a cloud of dust. Tifa's eyes were still closed and she was still screaming bloody murder.

"OH MY GOD! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH...huh? I'm not dead? WHOO-HOO!"

Aeris was stunned. Somebody destroyed her spell and all that was left was a cloud of dust.

"WHAT THE HELL? What happened to Ultima?"

After the dust settled and everything was visible again, long, flowing silver hair could seen in the wind in front of Tifa. Aeris screamed in horror at the person who has standing in front of Tifa.

"EEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKKK! You're supposed to be dead!"

Tifa opened her eyes to see a very familiar figure in front ofher.

"OH MY FUCKING GOD! SEPHIROTH? What are you doing here?"

Sephiroth didn't answer. He slowly began to walk towards Aeris, and Tifa began to follow him. Aeris began to beg for mercy when she saw a cold stare in his eyes.

"I'm sorry! I'm so sorry! Please don't stab me liked you did last time! Please spare me!

Then she remembered something.

"Oh wait! I have Holy! HAHAHAHAHAHA! Don't come any closer or I'll use it on your non-Ancient ass!"

Sephiroth was holding his sword, the Masamune. Aeris was even more frightened.

"NOOOOOO! You have that sword! Get it away from me! Would you like a Holy spell up your ass, bitch? Don't come any closer!"

Sephiroth continued on. He could see the fear in Aeris, it was amusing, he thought. Tifa then noticed that Aeris wasn't glowing yellow anymore.

Sephiroth turned to Tifa and whispered, "Now's your chance. Kill her ass!"

Tifa blushed.

"Oh, I'm not gonna kill her. I'm just gonna humiliate her in front of all these people and the whole university. I'll just give her a nice good whoppin'."

Sephiroth nodded and flew away. Cloud finally awoke after being knocked out in the mud. He saw Sephiroth as he flew away and began to chase after him.

"HEY! Come back here you little wuss! I still wanna beat the living shit outta you!"

Sephiroth looked back to see Cloud jumping around, his clothes covered in mud. He grinned.

"Whatever...here's a present for you."

Cloud's eyes opened up in delight at the thought of a present.

"REALLY? A present for me! Gimme, gimme, GIMME!"

Sephiroth rolled his eyes at Cloud's immaturity.

"Oh shut the hell up you little pansy!"

He threw a green orb at Cloud and it hit his spiky head with a thump.

"OWWW!"

Cloud picked it up and noticed a timer on it, with glowing red numbers.

"Hey! This isn't materia...OH CRAP!"

Before he could react, the timer hit '00:00'.

"AAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!"

KABOOM!

"Owww...I NEED A FUCKING POTION! MEDIC!"

Tifa saw her chance, she rushed towards Aeris with a raging fist.

"HIYA! Eat my first skank!"

Tifa socked Aeris right in the nose and she fell into the fresh mud, littered with dog droppings.

"How dare you! There's mud and dog crap all over my pink dress!"

Tifa then slammed her face into the mud. Aeris's face was dark brown and she began to cry. Tifa smiled as she began to bawl.

"Serves you right for trying to take my man! I won't kill you this time! But if I see your skanky ass with Cloud one more time, you'll see a Final Heaven in your future!"

Aeris held her head down in shame.

"I'm sorry Tifa...I should have had sex with Red XIII."

"RED XIII? EEEEEWWWWWWWWW!"

Tifa ran away in disgust and said, "You sick little bitch!"

Aeris stood up from the mud with a grin on her face.

"Heh heh. Works like a charm! Come on Cloud! I wanna frisk!"

Cloud ran away as well, he was following Tifa.

"Sorry Aeris! Got plans with Tifa! But don't worry! We'll kill you later! I'm gonna hire Sephirtoth again!"

Aeris was shocked at Cloud's remark.

"AGAIN? What do you mean by that? HMPH! Good for nothing scrub!"

Aeris walked back to her dorm to change singing "I'm Too Sexy for My Materia" while Tifa was running back to her dorm with a bunch of guys and Cloud follwing her.

"Oh...Cloud wouldn't mind! Tee-hee! Come on boys! Party at my room! Whoo-hoo!"

Meanwhile...with Sephiroth.

Sephiroth was still flying around as he left the university, entering Sector 7.

"Flying is cool! Ha ha!"

A random man walking towards the Seventh Heaven bar saw Sephiroth flying by and said, "HEY LOOK! IT'S A FLYING CRACKWHORE!"

Sephiroth looked at the man in anger.

"Who are you calling a crackwhore, buddy?"

Before he could turn around, he suddenly hit a light post. A loud clang was heard around the sector.

"Owww...who put this light post here? DAMN YOU GAME PROGRAMMERS!"

END OF VOLUME 1