Chapter Five:
White Roses
"Hermione!" Ron exclaimed, almost knocking her over when he wrapped his arms around her. Draco felt a pang of jealousy as Hermione was swept into Harry's arms after Ron had finally let go.
"God, Hermione, we were worried to death about you!"
"Well she was perfectly safe." Draco invited himself into their conversation. Harry glared at Draco. Well, if looks could kill... Draco mused.
"It's probably your fault to begin with, Malfoy." Draco's fists clenched, but a warning look from Hermione forced him to calm down.
"It was my fault. But we all make mistakes, Potter." Draco almost laughed out loud at Harry's reaction. The four students remained stationary and silent in pure shock. Hagrid burst through the foliage with a lantern.
"Hermione! Draco! Are you two all righ'?"
"We're fine, Hagrid. We just want to get back to the castle." Hagrid nodded and led the way through the forest. It was still pouring. They marched in silence in a straight line through the trees and finally reemerged soon enough. Draco and Hermione were immediately ushered to the hospital wing, where they were given fluffy robes to change into. Hermione was relieved to be out of her sopping wet garments, and she welcomed the warmth of her robe. She collapsed onto the hospital bed and closed her eyes.
"Why do your little friends always have to ruin everything?" Draco demanded as he returned in his robe. Hermione opened her eyes and rolled over to face him.
"As nice as it was being alone with you, we would have died if they hadn't rescued us."
"We wouldn't have died. Don't be so dramatic."
"If they didn't find us, another horrible creature would. Or, we would have starved to death."
"Point taken, but did they have to barge in as we were about to-"
"Get into bed, Mister Malfoy. You must restore warmth," Madame Pomfrey ordered sharply. Draco rolled his eyes and obeyed. "I want you both to sleep now. No talking, and don't even think of leaving." The mediwitch gave them both hard stares before leaving. Hermione sighed.
"If Harry's life hadn't been in her hands so many times I would loathe her."
"My life has been in her hands and I still loathe her." They laughed, using what little strength they had. Madame Pomfrey returned an hour later and performed several unnecessary medical procedures before finally releasing them.
"I promised Harry I'd go to him when we got let out," Hermione told Draco, uncomfortably. It seemed awkward to think that she was still Harry's girlfriend even when it felt like she should be Draco's. Draco nodded and tried to mask his disappointment.
"Yeah. I've got work to do anyway."
"Okay...well I'll see you later, then."
"Yeah...see you later," Draco trailed off, watching her walk away. He shook his head and began wandering off towards the study room.
"You look down, Mister Malfoy," Ferris commented when Draco approached.
"I'm confused, Ferris."
"Perhaps I can be of some assistance?"
"Do unicorns know anything about love?"
"Love is the only thing more pristine than a unicorn. We unicorns can search our entire lives to discover our soul mates. It's the most difficult path in life."
"What do you do when you find her?"
"Let her know. She will understand."
"What if she's with someone else?"
"I'm afraid this is where unicorns and humans differ on this subject."
"How do unicorns deal with it?"
"A battle to the death using horns. It is believed that once you find your soul mate, your journey has been completed. You continue on another quest with your soul mate, but if your soul mate rejects you, your only other option is death." Draco raised his eyebrows. Ferris began to chuckle, and Draco soon joined in. "I'll bet you're relieved you don't have to settle things that way."
"Actually, I think I'm more relieved that I don't have a horn sticking out of my forehead." Ferris laughed.
"It is particularly cumbersome."
"Well, I'd like to go sit and think for awhile if you don't mind." Ferris opened the door for Draco.
"Of course not, Draco. Go right in."
"Thank you, Ferris," Draco replied, and stepped inside. The room was silent and empty. If he closed his eyes, he could still see himself and Hermione hurrying around the room throwing papers at each other. He could see them working diligently on their Potions essay. He could see himself leaning over to kiss her gently on the lips. A warm, tingly feeling spread through him. He sighed and went over to the bookcase. If he read a boring textbook, he would go right to sleep...and he desperately needed sleep. He pulled out a large text on Transfiguration, and another book clattered to the floor. Raising his eyebrows, he bent over and picked it up. The cover held no clues as to what was inside. There was a ornate lock that kept the book closed to his eyes. Curious, he put the book down on the table and muttered an incantation. The lock snapped open, and Draco eagerly lifted the cover. He immediately recognized Hermione's flowing cursive spilling across the page. The first two words were 'Dear Diary'. Feeling suddenly guilty, he went to close the diary. As his eyes scanned over the writing quickly, he saw his name. He froze. I shouldn't. These are her private thoughts, and it would be rude to invade them. But my name was in there. She was writing about me. Doesn't that somehow entitle me to be able to read it? The answer was obviously no, but Draco ignored his conscience. He flipped it open and began to read.
Harry's hands pushed rapidly underneath the bottom of Hermione's shirt. His fingers touched her bra. Hermione's protest was smothered by Harry's mouth. Finally, she mustered enough courage to push Harry away. He stared at her, confused.
"What?"
"Harry, please don't touch me like that."
"Why? I thought you liked it."
"That's only a rationalization to continue doing it, Harry. You never even asked me if that made me uncomfortable," Hermione went on, gaining strength as she went. She kept hearing Draco's voice in her head telling her that she was doing the right thing.
"Come on, Hermione. I can't control myself."
"Could you at least try?"
"Hermione, when I'm kissing someone as beautiful as you, I have no chance of regaining control. I'm gone with the first kiss." Hermione resisted the impulse to comply.
"Then I don't want you to kiss me anymore."
"What?" Harry burst out.
"Until you can learn to control your hands, I don't want you to kiss me," Hermione stated firmly. She felt like she was talking to a five-year-old. Harry was shocked at first, then he appeared angry. He got up from the couch and walked out of the library. Hermione put her head in her hands. Why didn't he understand? Feeling upset and lonely, Hermione wandered up the stairs to the Astronomy Tower. It had been three days since she had been lost in the forest with Draco. Only three days. It seemed like forever since she was last in his arms. Their relationship wasn't healthy. It wasn't good for either of them to be feeling things for each other. It wasn't right. They were going against destiny. Messing with the stars, and changing fate. If Harry or Ron found out, what would happen then? Hermione wouldn't have friends anymore. Last year, a Gryffindor named Clarice dated Marcus Flint. Clarice transferred to Beauxbatons because she couldn't handle the vicious excommunication. Hermione did not want to end up like that. She liked her friends. She loved Hogwarts. She didn't want to throw all of that away. Not to mention what the Slytherins would do to her. Pansy had had a massive crush on Marcus during the time when he was dating Clarice. One night, Pansy ambushed Clarice and tied her to a tree in the middle of the Forbidden Forest. Clarice would have been killed by several vicious Hinkypunks if Hagrid hadn't found her. Hermione did not want to be rejected by her friends, nor did she want to be tortured by her enemies. But Draco completed her. It sounded silly and impossible, but without Draco in her life, she was just a shell of knowledge. Around Draco, she could be Hermione Granger. Even Harry, Ron and Ginny couldn't do that for her. She could be funny. She could be stupid. She could be anything she wanted to be, and Draco would still smile at her as though she was the most beautiful creature that he ever saw. He was the reason Hermione woke up in the morning and smiled. He was the only person in the entire world that could make Hermione feel free. When he kissed her, he made her feel like she was flying. He was everything she ever wanted. He was even more than what she ever dreamed of. And now she had to choose between the lifestyle that she grew accustomed to and the man that she truly loved with all of her heart. It simply wasn't fair.
Draco wandered through the corridors with a permanent smile on his face. Hermione was in love with him. She felt exactly what he felt for her, and it was beautiful. It was amazing. It was incredible. It was so powerful, Draco had no idea what to do next. All he could think to do was wander around the castle until he thought of something else. His feet carried him up several flights of stairs and through a door way where he found himself face to face with the one girl who had been preoccupying his thoughts. For awhile, they just stood there, staring at each other in silence. Hermione looked like she wanted to escape, so Draco made a quick decision to lean against the door.
"Can we talk?" Draco asked, carefully. Hermione looked like she was about to protest, but slowly nodded her head and sat down on a stone bench.
"What do you want to talk about?"
"Well, first of all, why are you looking so upset?" Draco asked, suddenly aware of her tear stained face and sad voice. Hermione's eyes began to tear.
"I pushed Harry off of me tonight."
"You did? Go, Hermione," Draco grinned at her. She managed a weak smile, but a tear slid down her cheek.
"It didn't really go well."
"Did you expect it to?"
"No, but I thought he'd be a bit more understanding than he was. He acted like I wasn't allowing him to breathe or something."
"Did you break up?"
"I don't know. He walked away. He was really mad at me, Draco." Shivers passed through Draco's body at the sound of his name coming from her lips.
"If anything, you should be mad at him. He treated you like crap, and when you asked him to stop, he treated you like crap. A guy like that is not for you."
"What sort of guy is?" Hermione sighed, staring hopelessly at the stars.
"Well, a respectful, understanding guy. One who listens when you speak and comforts you when you're upset." At this, Hermione looked up. Their eyes met and locked. "One who would swear his undying love to you and keep every promise he makes." Her eyes quickly filled with tears and spilled onto her beautiful porcelain skin. Draco sat down next to her and gently wiped the tears away with soft fingers.
"What's wrong, Hermione?" He asked softly. Hermione swept away her tears quickly and sighed.
"We can't be together, Draco."
"Why?"
"It won't work. There's too much we both have to lose."
"Hermione, I'd lose everything in order to have you." Hermione stood up and walked slowly to the edge of the stone fence outlining the open tower.
"It's impossible, Draco...I'm sorry."
"Please, Hermione, just try."
"I can't. I don't want to lose my friends. I don't want to risk everything. Not know. Not when we're both in our last year of Hogwarts. We have our entire future ahead of us. It's silly to destroy it now."
"How do you know we'd be destroying anything? What if we improved it?"
"Draco, please...," Hermione turned to him with a tear stained face. "leave me alone." She quickly made a break for the door, and Draco didn't try to stop her. She was right. As always. But it wasn't fair. It shouldn't have to be impossible. Draco stood up suddenly. He wasn't giving up. He was going to make Hermione see that they could be together. He was going to show her that it wouldn't be so bad if they were to be a couple. Draco hurried to the Slytherin common room and burst inside. The Slytherins that were there stared up as he came barreling through. Pansy got up from her seat and flounced over to intercept Draco.
"Hey, sugar pants-"
"Not now, Pansy," Draco barked, pushing her to the side and half jogging to the boys dormitories. Once inside his room, which was empty, he locked the door and sat down at his desk. He scribbled a quick letter and sent his owl, Poseidon, on the journey. He took out another piece of parchment and wrote another, neater, message. Now all he had to do was wait. He flopped down onto his bed and marveled at the brilliance of his plan. Hermione would love it, and she'd be reconsidering her decision by Christmas. With the door still locked, he drifted off to sleep, and didn't even hear Crabbe and Goyle knocking to get inside.
Hermione sullenly took a sip of pumpkin juice at breakfast the next morning. Harry wasn't speaking to her, and Ron was awkwardly trying to survive breakfast. Ginny was oddly silent, trying to hide her happiness at the failure of Harry and Hermione's relationship. It took every ounce of her strength to keep Hermione from glancing over at the Slytherin table. The sound of fluttering wings broke the lingering silence. Hermione stirred her porridge with disinterest and the owls began landing on the table. A fluttery brown and white owl landed in Neville's cereal. It lurched around, dazed, before scampering off to deliver its letter. A large midnight black owl landed right in front of Hermione. It's piercing eyes were the color of steel. It held out its leg in a business-like manner. Hermione looked at the attachment and gasped. A beautiful white rose with the edges of the petals lined in silver. There was a small piece of parchment attached to the rose, and Hermione decided that it would be wise to read that later, considering the look she was getting from Harry.
"Hermione, who is that from?" Ginny asked, smiling. Harry pretended that he didn't even see Hermione get the rose, but he leaned slightly closer so he could listen in.
"I don't know."
"Aren't you going to read the note?"
"I-it's not important," Hermione stammered, knowing that Harry was carefully scrutinizing her every word.
"Of course it is! White roses are expensive, especially when they're gilded with silver."
"Give it a rest, Ginny. It's just a rose!" Ron exclaimed, noticing how peeved Harry was becoming. Hermione wanted to hug Ron for the interference. Ginny glared at her brother, but fell silent and ate her breakfast. When Hermione had finished, she excused herself and hurried into the Great Hall. Eagerly, she detached the parchment and unfolded it.
A white rose symbolizes hope.
It is my hope that you will respond
with a red rose as a symbol of your love.
Until then, I can only continue to hope.
Hermione smiled, and yet felt like crying at the same time. She had no future with Draco. She couldn't. She was already losing Harry, and if Harry was lost she would eventually lose Ron. All she had was Ginny, and Ginny would soon enough be Harry's girlfriend. She had seen them taking a walk around the grounds before breakfast. It hurt that Harry could replace her so quickly, and it hurt even more that their relationship had to end because Harry didn't respect her. Hermione thought about warning Ginny, but decided that Ginny would only think that she was jealous. She could try to make things right with Harry. She could apologize and explain that they were better off as friends. Then everything would be all right. If she decided to give herself to Draco, there would be no chance of restoring their friendship. And that made her want to cry and never stop. Someone ripped the letter out of her hands roughly. Before Hermione could stop him, Harry had read it through. He glared up at her.
"Who is he?"
"Harry, you don't understand-"
"Of course I understand! No wonder you were uncomfortable with me. You were with someone else the entire time."
"Harry, no-"
"Who is he?" Harry demanded.
"Harry, if it makes you feel any better, I'm not going to respond."
"It doesn't."
"I don't even know who sent this, Harry! Someone has been slipping notes into my books for awhile now."
"Someone's stalking you?" Harry raised his eyebrows at her. Hermione nodded, silently begging him to buy it. He sighed. "Seamus has been eyeing you for some time, now." Hermione let out a breath of relief. Harry still looked at her as though he wasn't quite sure who she was.
"I think we're better off as friends, Harry...don't you?" He looked down and nodded.
"Yeah. You're right."
"Good. I was afraid you wouldn't agree. That's why I was uncomfortable, Harry, it just didn't feel right," Hermione lied. It wasn't a full lie. It truly didn't feel right. But even if Harry hadn't been her best friend, it still wouldn't have felt right. There was only one who could make it feel right.
"I'm sorry I ignored you. That was a bit immature," Harry apologized. Hermione laughed it off.
"It's all right. We all have our moments. I'm going to go throw out this rose. I'll see you in class," Hermione said, hurrying away. She ran all the way up to the Gryffindor tower and into her room. She found a glass vase in the bathroom and filled it with water. She placed the white rose inside and looked at it for a moment. She couldn't reply. She couldn't promise him her love. It's not that she didn't love him, because she did. It was just that she wasn't sure how much she was willing to sacrifice to be with him.
Hermione gently put the fifteenth white rose into the glass vase. With each rose, she felt herself weakening. Harry constantly tried to coerce Seamus into admitting his feelings for Hermione. Hermione felt bad about it, but she had no influence over Harry's rage. Neither did Ginny, his current girlfriend. Ron was totally uncomfortable about the entire relationship. His best friend was dating his sister, and Harry's wandering hands were still roaming as they pleased. Hermione knew Ginny wouldn't complain to anyone, no matter how violated she was. She finally had what she wanted. Harry. She wouldn't risk losing him for anything. She was unbelievably naive. Hermione often spent her time in the study room alone. She saw much less of Harry and Ginny, and when ever Ron was around, he was complaining about how horrible his life was. The extent of his problems were Harry and Ginny, and Potions. After awhile, it became redundant. Hermione traced the silver lining the petals and sighed. He was so persistent. That actually comforted her. He must truly love her if he would go to all this trouble. It made her feel bad that he was spending all this money on her while she tried to make up her mind. It was certainly true that she didn't have that much of a social life anymore. She rarely saw her friends, and when she did, she always wished she could be somewhere else. She found herself reminiscing about the wonderful times she shared with Draco. Then she'd shake her head and force herself to think about anything else. Most nights, she found herself returning to the Astronomy Tower. The stars there were so beautiful, and the increasingly cold air helped her to think clearly. Every logical cell in her body was screaming no. She could not pursue a relationship with Draco; it would surely end in heartbreak. Every hopelessly romantic cell was yearning for his kiss.
Draco sent the sixteenth rose. He was not discouraged by the fact that Hermione had not yet responded to his roses. He was greatly encouraged by the look on her face when she received every single rose. Every morning, the rose would come and she would struggle to look stoic for Potter and Weasley. Then she'd say something and stand up. She'd walk out of the Great Hall, but not without glancing back over her shoulder at him. In that glance, in those few precious moments that she bothered to rest her angelic eyes on his pathetic existence, he knew why he was spending so much money on her. She was so extraordinarily perfect. Just as insecure as any teenage girl should be, but so self-confident when she handed in an assignment. So intelligent, so naive, so cautious, so sympathetic. She seemed like a delicate butterfly. Like if you touched her, she would flutter away out of your grasp. She had escaped his clutches once before, and he was determined to never let it happen again. It was unimportant how long it would take. Before he died, Draco was going have Hermione in his arms again.
My Dearest Draco,
Your persistence is frustrating. The roses are beautiful, and I have saved them all. They are all still the purest of whites and the most beautiful of all flowers. Your constant hopefulness is a sure sign of sincerity. This is a wonderful discovery for me. You've been a magnificent friend to me, Draco. I don't know if you understand how much you have truly done for me. For my problems with Harry, I cannot even begin to thank you enough. Even though taking your advice had terrible repercussions that damaged the fragile bonds of friendship, I know it was all worth it. In the end, I knew you would never steer me in the wrong direction. The Astronomy Tower was a bit of a shock for me. I knew how I felt about you, but still had no idea if you had such feelings for me. What you said to me that night about the right guy for me was incredible. What frightened me even more was that you are completely correct. You know I hate being wrong. But yes...I do need exactly the type of man that you described. It has taken me a very long time to come to this conclusion. Sixteen days, if you count the roses. Where my life stands at this point in time, I have nothing that I'd regret losing. Except for you. I know you read my diary. Don't ask how I found out, because that's not even important. Am I mad? No. Not quite. It explains your behavior later on that night. What I wrote about you in my diary is the complete truth. I am in love with you, Draco Malfoy. There is nothing more I can say. So I send to you my heart, my love.
All Yours,
Hermione
Hermione tied the parchment to the red rose she had sent away for. The petals were gilded with gold. She gently attached the rose and the letter to one of the school's owls. She watched it fly away with a gentle smile on her face. She felt so much better than she thought she would. For some reason, she expected to feel as though she had just completely destroyed what had been left of her friendships with Harry, Ron, and Ginny. But a wave of calm swept over her. A sense of security formed around her. Smiling, she returned to the Gryffindor common room. She sat down in a chair and began reading a book. Harry came over to her.
"Hermione? Why are you so happy?"
"Pardon?"
"You look happier than you've ever looked in your entire life."
"Yes, Harry. I feel better than I've ever felt."
"Why?"
"I don't know, Harry. I really don't." And it was the truth. She could sense the moment when Draco found the owl sitting outside his window. She could envision him opening the window and the owl flying inside. The look on his face when he saw the red rose made her smiled widely. He read the attached letter with tears in his eyes, and Hermione could barely keep herself from crying. Suddenly, she stood up. She needed to leave. She burst out of the common room and ran. Where was she running to? She hardly knew herself. She only knew that she needed to run. Coming down the grand staircase to the entrance hall, Hermione caught sight of Draco coming towards her. She sprinted even faster and they collided in the middle of the empty hall. Draco hugged her so hard, he was sure that he would kill her. Hermione was crying so hard, she could barely breathe.
"It's all right, it's all right," Draco kept whispering, running his fingers through her hair. Hermione buried her face in his shoulder and tried to calm down. "Everything is going to be all right now."
"I know," Hermione sobbed, holding him tighter. Draco started to chuckle.
"Why are you crying?" He asked, letting go so he could look her in the eyes.
"I don't know," She admitted, laughing. Draco laughed with her and hugged her again. Hermione dried her eyes on Draco's shirt, and he groaned.
"I just washed this shirt," He complained, sarcastically.
"It'll dry," Hermione replied, grinning. Draco reached up and gently caressed her cheek with his fingertips.
"I've missed you."
"I've missed you, too," Hermione replied, fighting the urge to cry again. Draco gently kissed her on the lips, re-igniting the passion that had once been between them. Hermione felt her knees lose their dependability. Draco's strong arms around her waist were the only things keeping her from falling straight to the ground. Draco pulled away and smiled at her.
"And I've really missed that." Hermione laughed and rested her head on his shoulder. In those moments, everything was perfect. In those moments, life was reduced from a complicated mess to one simple element. Hermione was where she belonged. Forever in Draco's arms.
Sorry this one took so long to complete. It was a rather slow paced chapter with not much action, so I was easily distracted. That also explaines why it's pretty short. I've already got the next chapter in mind, so it's going to be longer than this one. Thanks for all of your reviews! Happy New Year!