AN: Don't ask just read and if you don't like it I blame the two friends of mine who were supposed to help me write this. Anyways feel free to flame and I'll pass them on to my friends (one of them I know really likes toasty Marshmallows)
Disclaimer: Hell I don't even own this crappy computer!
You Have Now Entered Chat room: DON'T TALK DIRTY
(AN: ya right)
Gaylover: … I'm all alone
Gaylover: Echo echo echo
Depressedfool has entered
Garterqueen has entered
Depressedfool: Hey honey!
Gaylover: I missed you so much sweetie!
Depressedfool: How the hell did you get a computer passed your basterd of a father?
Gaylover: I told him I went to knockturn ally but I'm really in an "internet café."
Depressedfool: …How the hell did you find or even know about "internet cafes"'?
Gaylover: I found it on the internet.
Depressedfool: Well how did you- the internet- for the café- ! Oh forget it…
I'mallergictocheeseballs enters
I'mallergictocheeseballs: I SHALL KILL YOU ALL YOU STUPID MUGGLES!
I'mallergictocheeseballs: I mean… hi. Who are you all?
Garterqueen: I'm a mime.
Gaylover: I'll tell you if you tell me.
Depressedfool: I hate you all.
Gaylover: That is NOT what you said last night!
Depressedfool: It was the sex talking
I'mallergictocheeseballs: ….Has anyone named can'tgetitup ever- EVER- been in here?
Depressedfool: How the bloody hells do you know that screen name? Who are you anyway?
I'mallergictocheeseballs: I'm not telling you gay freaks and it's none of your sodding business who I am!
Blondeprick enters
(Sees I'mallergictocheeseballs' screen name)
Blondeprick: …
Blondeprick: ………………?
Gaylover: Do I know you?
Blondeprick: …I don't think so.
Lucius'evilbastard enters
Lucius'evilbastard: Lucius! I leave you for five minutes… what the hell are you doing on this damned muggle contraption!
Blondeprick: but Sev- it was on and and the buttons were calling to me!
(Five minute pause)
I'mallergictocheeseballs: MALFOY! SNAPE!
Gaylover: FATHER? PROFESSER! Oo
Depressedfool: Haha, stupid Slytherins!
Garterqueen: Harry, that wasn't smart.
I'mallergctocheeseballs: The mime is right! Grab your torches and pitchforks!
Can'tgetitup enters
Can'tgetitup: Oh Voldy-poo where are you…?
I'mallergictocheeseballs: Dumbledore? How the bloody hell did you find me!
Icheatedonmybestfirend25 enters
Icheatedonmybestfriend25: Master! You're here! I wanted to tell you something- I found the location of that potter brat!
Depressedfool: …Ya, I'm right here
I'mallergictocheeseballs: Potter! You dare back sass my servant!
Depressedfool: …… yes?
Gaylover: … well this is awkward, the Dark lord, my father, my boyfriend, Dumbledore, my potions professor, a random deatheater, and …… a mime. Why the hell is a mime here!
Depressedfool: And why does it know my name?
Garterqueen: …because I can be? And I plead the fifth!
Lucius'evilbastard: Who the hell are you for Salazar's sake!
Garterqueen: A mime. I go to Hogwarts if that helps, professor.
Gaylover: Why the hell does every Hogwarts student have computer?
Blondeprick: Because that muggle loving fool corrupted all our children! Like my son!
Blondeprick: Speaking of which- DRACO WHAT THE BLOODY HELL ARE ON A COMPUTER AND WHY IS HARRY POTTER YOUR BOYFRIEND!
Gaylover: … um?
Depressedfool: Our sexual relations are none of your business you bloody bastard!
Gaylover: And why are you sodmizing my potions professor!
Blondeprick: You have no proof!
Alwaysinthemiddle enters
Alwaysinthemiddle: Hi Harry! Who are all of these people?
Depressedfool: Go away Ron I hate you.
Alwaysinthemiddle: … But… but we've been best friends for five years!
Gaylover: Go away weasel nobody wants you here.
Alwaysinthemiddle: MALFOY! What- I don't- YOU LITTLE FERRET- YOU CORRUPTED HARRY!
Lucius'evilbastard: Ha, the stupid Gryffindor is a bit slow on the updates.
Depressedfool: That's it I hate you all! I'm going to plan how to get you all killed next year- even the mime!
Depressedfool has left
Gaylover: Harry! Wait!
Gaylover: Now see what you did weasel! I'm out of here!
Gaylover has left
Five10twenty enters
five10twenty: Hello Ronnie, who are all of these people?
can'tgetitup: Mr. Weasley, I thought Ms. Granger as your girlfriend?
Lucius'evilbastard: HA! Someone fooled Dumbledore- congratulations weasel!
Blondeprick: -gasps- Severus you just congratulated a Gryffindor! –shocked look-
Lucius'evilbastard: No I didn't.
Garterqueen: I am witness I shall show this to the school and beyond! –maniacal cackling-
I'mallergictocheeseballs: No you won't mime! I shall kill you!
can'tgetitup: Oh Voldy baby, let me get rid of some of that tension for you…
I'mallergictocheeseballs: NO! Stay away from me you ageing prune!
I'mallergictocheeseballs has left
can'tgetitup: oh poo…
Can'tgetitup has left
Alwaysinthemiddle: Now I know why Dumbledor is the only person you-know-who ever feared…
five10twenty: You're so right Ronnie.
Icheatedonmybestfriend25: You shall not talk about my master that way- he is great! Nothing shall stop him! Hahahahahahahahahaha …ow! Stupid broom!
Icheatedonmybestfriend25 has left
Blondeprick: That was odd. Hey Sevvie want to get together and brew some potions hint hint?
Lucius'evilbastard: Thought you'd never ask.
Blondeprick has left
Lucius'evilbastard has left
Alwaysinthemiddle: …ok. That was sickening.
five10twenty: Hey Ron, Hermione and I are at the Leaky Cauldron, you want to come and we'll get a room?
Alwaysinthemiddle: Hell yes!
five10twenty: See ya there, big boy.
Five10twenty has left
Alwaysinthemiddle has left
Randomcrossdresser enters
Randomcrossdresser: Hello? Anyone here?
Garterqueen: Blaise my sweet you have come to me at last!
Randomcrossdresser: Neville!
Garterqueen: Yes my love?
Randomcrossdresser: Dude- you're creepy.
Garterqueen: But I LOVE you!
Randomcrossdresser: I don't swing that way man.
Garterqueen: I can't help what is in my heart! We shall ride away into the sunset together! You as my transvestite consort, and I as your talking mime!
Randomcrossdresser: You. Need. Help. I am so gone.
Randomcrossdresser has left
Garterqueen: Wait, my dearest!
Garterqueen has left
You are now leavening Chatroom: DON'T TALK DIRTY
Apu: thank you! Come again!
AN: Flame for all I care! It's crap anyways. Oh please review so I have something else to do besides trying to write these things.
Another disclaimer: Yes, the collective minds of the authors' are well below normal intelligence levels. We feel that this story reflects this, and our readers have the right to test themselves for the ever contagious insanity that we share.
The wonders of an IB education…