AN: damn I'm actually posting this. I really put off the typing. Oh well I'll blame school and my brother because everything is his fault (I'm the good child). Any ways the co authors of this story have been bugging me to post it forever so I'm finally doing it. Sry lady of the night and bird lady I don't think it was just Canada. I say blame IB and total laziness. Now on with the psychotic fic.
Disclaimer: seriously anyone who reads ff has got to know the routine by now. I don't own jack squat and I'm not saying it again!
You have now entered Chat room: DON'T TALK DIRTY
I'mallergictocheeseballs has entered
I'mallergictocheeseballs: Where the hell is Wormtail! I told him to be here 5 minutes ago!
Icheatedonmybestfriend25 has entered
Icheatedonmybestfriend25: My lord I am sorry I am late…
I'mallergictocheeseballs: Don't grovel, I will punish you later. Now have you found that mime yet?
Icheatedonmybestfriend25: N-n-no my lord, but I managed to capture Harry Potter...
Depressedfool has entered
Depressedfool: Tom your dungeons are very boring and rather dreary. Have you ever considered capturing an interior decorator? It might improve your mood sometimes.
I'mallergictocheeseballs: POTTER! You insolent brat! I do all my own interior
decorating and the dungeons are one of my best works!
Depressedfool: I shudder to imagine your worst work.
Gaylover has entered
Gaylover: Harry! Where did you go last night? I woke up and you weren't there…
Depressedfool: Sorry, love. I decided to go for a walk and got… side tracked…
Gaylover: By what!
Depressedfool: Quidditch.
Gaylover: OK. I understand. You can make it up to me at the world cup tonight anyways!
Depressedfool: I'm sorry Draco baby, but I'm currently stuck in one of Tommy boy's badly decorated dungeon cells. I can't make it. - tear drop -
I'mallergictocheeseballs: Potter! I have told you not to call me that and my cells are pretty. Now I have to torture you extra sadistically… I won't have time to torture Wormtail…
Gaylover: Lovely, how is it that you have a computer when you're being held captive by the oh so great Lord Moldyshorts?
Depressedfool: Well you see, luv, I get quite bored very easily, so I thought a computer would… relieve my boredom.
Gaylover: And…?
Depressedfool: I apperated to my bedroom got my laptop, and apparated back to the cell Tommy boy has generously given me. The right one too! It has the lovely moss green shag carpet and everything…
Garterqueen has entered
Garterqueen: I seem to have trapped myself in an invisible box.
Depressedfool: At least your box has the potential to be beautiful. I'm in a gods ugly cell in the dungeons of a renowned mass murderer who wishes to kill off everyone I love. Draco I'm afraid I can't see you anymore. It's too dangerous, you'll die and I won't be able to sleep with you anymore. And it would be all my fault. Just like what happened in California…I hate my life!- goes and cries on hideous moss green shag carpet-
Gaylover: If you break it off with me I'll cut off your ahem and then you'll never sleep with anyone, ever! What exactly happened in California? Oo
Garterqueen: Lovers quarrel? I've experienced those before, but then we got this great Tantric book and made up. -sighs-
Gaylover: Who in their right mind would become a mime's lover? No offense…
Depressedfool: Draco! Insulting mimes is incredibly rude. I'll have to punish you.
I'mallergictocheeseballs: WORMTAIL! SIEZE THE MIME, DANMIT!
Icheatedonmybestfriend25 has left the room
I'mallergictocheeseballs: DAMN YOU, PETTIGREW!
Depressedfool: Well someone's going to be castrated.
I'mallergictocheeseballs: Oh, I like your thinking Potter!
Gaylover: And he's cute. What else could a guy want?
Garterqueen: I want my Blaisey back!
(2 minute period of inactivity)
I'mallergictocheeseballs has left the room
Depressedfool: Are any of you going to at least attempt to rescue me anytime today?
Gaylover: When father leaves for Snape's, I'll get over there.
Garterqueen: That's still very creepy. –twitch-
Gaylover: It's not your father, or head of house, mimey!
Depressedfool: 'mimey', love? Are you okay?
Gaylover: Perfectly peachy, and so are my man-whores!
Gaylover: I mean…. Crabbe and Goyle are over.
Garterqueen: Ha, blondie's in trouble, blondie's in trouble!
Depressedfool: The talking mime is right, sweet. I'm afraid we'll have a spat when, and/or after someone bloody well gets me the heck out of here!
Gaylover: You're jealous of Crabb and Goyle, luv? Besides I think I have right since you won't tell me about California.
Depressedfool: Jealous and extremely pissed off are two very different things, Dray. California is not part of this conversation!
Blondprick has entered
Blondprick: Draco, have you been in contact with your godfather at all today?
Gaylover: No, father. I thought he was with you for this week.
Depressedfool: Mr. Malfoy sir, why are you looking for Snape?
Gaylover: Shush, Harry!
Blondprick: Shut up, Potter. But I seemed to have misplaced him.
Gaylover: How the hell did you lose prof. Snape?
Blondprick: I wish I knew… Well I'm off to find my bitch. No screwing while I'm gone, Draco.
Gaylover: Yes, father.
Blondprick has left the room
Garterqueen: Well, that was unusual.
Depressedfool: I'm afraid I must agree with the mime, Dray. And now that your father has left…GET ME OUT OF THIS HORRIDLY DECORATED CELL!
Gaylover: I don't think I will, actually.
Depressedfool: I'll go crazy in this cell. I'll kill myself. I probably deserve it anyways. I've killed so many people. What would it matter?
Gaylover: If you're dead I won't do you. I'm pretty sure that's illegal anyways.
Depressedfool: Only in California, dearie.
Gaylover: How would you know?
Depressedfool: Um…
Depressedfool has left the room
Gaylover: I think that's scary.
Garterqueen: Santa has a present for all the naughty boys and girls and mimes. It's the lump in his pocket.
Gaylover: That is so wrong.
Gaylover has left the room
Garterqueen: Oh poo, everyone's gone. Oh well, maybe I can get Randomcrossdresser to play 'North Pole' with me.
Garterqueen has left the room
You Are Now Leaving Chatroom: 'Don't Talk Dirty'
Igo: One door enters a man one door enters a woman…
GF: I defiantly tuned in to that conversation at the wrong time.
AN: Well that was interesting… I guess we can't blame Canadia anymore. To the people that read this- shoot me now. Do you two freaks have anything to add to this?
Bird: You are not, I repeat NOT a moronic genius. You have no –genius- genes in you whatsoever! Go amuse yourself by burning down a church before your twisted logic gives me a headache.
AN: I still can't find a flamethrower and I have bigger targets than a mere church. Lady of the night I going to assume you are dead and post this. If I'm wrong please inform me so I may correct this. I may not have a flamethrower yet but there are other ways. Many other ways indeed…