Chapter Five

Raoul woke up early. He rose quietly, careful not to disturb Kel, dressed and slipped out of the room. He padded quietly down the deserted halls towards the kitchen. When he returned Kel had just emerged from the privy.

"Hi there," He put down his tray and strode over to Kel, kissing her softly.

"Hi," She answered, yawning. "What time is it?"

"Early." Raoul answered. "Are you hungry?"

Kel nodded and took a seat. "I'm still dressed." She said, sounding mildly surprised.

Raoul smiled. "You seemed pretty tired last night." He sat across from her.

"Yeah," She said, a huge, jaw-cracking yawn coming and going.

"You could go back to bed, you know. There's no point in being up this early if we don't have to." Raoul picked at his food, not really hungry.

"I guess so," Kel put down a cup of juice and got to her feet. "Are you coming with me?" She raised an eyebrow.

Raoul didn't need to be asked twice. Pausing only to give Kel a kiss that left them both breathless he followed her back into his bedroom.

When they emerged again they were both somewhat more dishevelled and Kel was wearing Raoul's tunic again.

"So, what do you want to do today?" Kel asked, sinking into a chair a picking at her abandoned breakfast.

"We have to do something?"

Kel rolled her eyes. "I told Dom I couldn't go out with him today because we had plans."

"Well, I guess we could go riding." Raoul said quickly, noting Kel's barely contained smirk. "Unless you'd rather spend the day with Dom."

"No, I really wouldn't. He's even more clingy than you are." She said teasingly.

"I'm not clingy!"

"No," Kel leaned over and kissed his nose. "You're just 'protective' right?"

"Sounds better than clingy." Raoul muttered.

"Come on, then." She looked down at herself. "Where're my clothes?"

Raoul watched as she hunted for her misplaced items. "You're not riding the bruiser are you?"

"Ah-ha!" Kel came out of his room fully dressed, hair brushed and they left for the stables.

"I don't fancy getting my arm bitten off if I get within ten feet of you."

"No, I'll bring Hoshi." Kel assured him. "I'd hate for you to get your arm bitten off. It's so useful."

Raoul grinned wickedly. "Meet you out front?" Kel nodded and they parted ways so they could saddle their horses. He was just leading Drum to the courtyard in front of the stable when he heard slightly raised voices. Raoul came to a stop, listening intently.

"You said she threw a shoe!"

"Well, she did." That was Kel's calm, Yamani lump voice. Who was the other one?

"I asked Stephan and he said all of the horses were fine." Dom. Why was Dom yelling at Kel?

"I... fine, Hoshi didn't throw a shoe, but can you blame me? You've been so... strange lately. Oh, hello milord." Kel said as Raoul emerged from the stable.

"Dom," Raoul nodded, face carefully blank.

"Sir," Dom replied, also expressionless.

Raoul mounted, Kel did the same and they rode out. He was burning to ask about Dom, but Raoul was careful not to mention him. Instead he talked about some of the new recruits being trained and commented on the golden leaves falling from trees.

"It'll be winter soon," Raoul said. "Then we can settle in until spring."

"How long are you going to go on like this?" Kel asked tiredly. "I know you heard me and Dom, or at least part of it."

"I did, but I... you think I'm too clingy."

Kel sighed. "No I don't, I was just teasing. And Hoshi never threw a shoe, I just got tired of Dom's "friendly" touches, as he calls them. I don't know how long we can keep this up, and I'm afraid he might tell."

Raoul didn't think Dom would do anything like that, but then again he hadn't really spoken to him since this whole thing started.

"I'm sorry," Raoul said.

Kel looked over at him, she was quiet, sad. "It's not your fault." She nudged Hoshi closer, laying a hand on his arm. "I'm going to break it off with him. I have to, he's getting too attached. I can't believe I did this to him." She hung her head.

"Kel, I..." What could he say to her? It had been his idea to... to use Dom. Guilt wrapped it's sinewy fingers around Raoul.

"I mean, he's such a nice person, and I knew he had a crush on me. I shouldn't have asked him to do this. It kills him, seeing me with you, you know? That's the only reason why he doesn't tell, because he knows it would hurt me." She sighed, shaking her head as if to shake her thoughts away. "It was a mistake." She said firmly. "That's all. I'll tell him that when we get back."

"Do what you have to." Raoul said, knowing full well that he was responsible for the destruction of a friendship. "If you need me..."

"I know." The horses had come to a stop. Kel went on, her voice serious and her eyes trained intently on Raoul. "I wouldn't do this just for anyone. I expect a lot form you. Love, commitment. And I know I'll get it." She nodded firmly.

"You will." Raoul promised. "I-"

"I love you." Kel cut him off. "I didn't say it before, but I do, and now seems like as good a time as any."

Raoul reached over and gave Kel's shoulder a squeeze. "I love you too."

"I know." Kel sighed. "I should get back and talk to Dom before I lose my nerve." She turned back down the path, squaring her shoulders and sitting up straight as if she were going into battle.

Raoul watched her go with mixed feelings. She had finally told him she loved him, but somehow it left a dry taste in his mouth.

Commitment. It was a big word and she said she wanted it. He had no qualms about giving it to her, but he worried how long she would want it. He remembered listening to Numair sighing over Daine and worrying that she wouldn't want him. Now he understood. Then again they were still together so maybe there was hope for him and Kel.

He kicked his horse into a trot, trying to decide whether or not she would actually appreciate a ring. In the end Raoul decided against it. She might like it at first, but it could get caught on something. Besides, he knew she didn't like drawing attention to her scarred hands; not to mention the gossip that would ensue should someone notice. Maybe she could wear one around her neck? Perhaps on the chain with her anti-pregnancy charm.

Raoul waited, giving Kel a big head start before he started back towards the palace.

That evening Raoul settled by his fire with a book, not really expecting Kel to show up. He figured she would probably want some privacy after her fight with Dom.

Raoul was mistaken. The knock on his door was so soft he wasn't sure if he heard it.

"Raoul?"

That he heard, and he jumped to his feet and quickly opened the door for Kel. She had her best lump face on, but it was easy to see that she was upset. "How did it go?" Raoul asked quietly.

She sighed and shook her head. "Not good. He was really upset."

"I wasn't asking about Dom."

"I... I feel..." She trailed off helplessly. "I don't know. He's off getting drunk somewhere because of me. How am I suppose to feel?"

"Kel, I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have suggested it." Raoul pulled Kel into an embrace, letting her head rest on his shoulder.

"Well, half of the palace probably heard us fighting so it worked." She said sadly. "We can get married now."

"Did you just say...?"

"Yes." Kel pulled away from him. "In a few days have a "fight" with Buri, then we can run off and get married and tell everyone it's because we're fed up with romance. Wasn't that what you were planning from the beginning?"

"Sort of." Raoul shifted his weight uncomfortably. "But I didn't think it would be so soon."

"Do you want to or not?" Kel demanded. "And tell the truth, I'm in no mood for beating around the bush."

"Of course I want to!" Raoul said. "How could you doubt that? I just..." He couldn't believe he was using Numair's phrase. "Don't want to trap you, that's all."

"Raoul," She said. "I'll be trapped no matter who I marry. At least you seem to understand me."

"If you're sure." Raoul said. "Oh, here, I got you something." He walked over to his desk and rummaged in one of the drawers, finally emerging with a little box. "You can wear it with your charm, if you want, so no one will see it." He opened the box and handed her the plain gold ring. "If you like it, that is."

Kel took it mutely and tried it on. The ring fit the middle finger of her left hand perfectly. She took it off, the pulled off her necklace and attached the ring to it.

"Thank you." She said quietly, putting it back around her neck before hugging Raoul tightly.

He hugged her back, praying that neither of them would ever live to regret their decision.